Tuesday, June 19, 2001
The Jacks Residence -- 7:00am

The final raindrops of the early morning shower spattered against the bedroom window as Brenda slowly slipped out of Jax's sheltering embrace. She crawled out of bed and quietly left the master suite. She found herself drawn into the study, just like she had been the morning before. Brenda stood in front of the terrace doors and looked out into the early morning mist.

Brenda stood barefoot as she leaned her face against the glass pane of the french door. She looked through the glass to see the first glimpse of the new day. The grass was lush and green and the fresh faces of the pansies by the pool were just beginning to perk up from their thirst quenching drink of rain. As Brenda glanced down at the small pine tree, Snowflake appeared. He sat atop the tree and fluttered his wings.

She took a deep breath as she turned around to face the full view of the room once again. The angel tapestry hung on the wall in front of her and the angel figurines sat on the drop leaf table next to the sofa. Brenda exhaled slowly, it was still the study, or the angel room as Jillian had so lovingly named it. The terrifying flashbacks of the bare nursery had not plagued Brenda over the past few days. Instead, Brenda had actually felt herself being drawn into the room.

Brenda folded her arms in front of her as she moved across the room. She knew she had dreamt again but, as had been the case over the past three days, the memory of the dream had vanished as soon as she had awakened. All Brenda knew was that there had been music rather than screaming and illumination rather than darkness and that was enough for now. They were not the nightmares of last week and that was all that mattered.

Brenda walked over to the adjacent wall and smiled as she looked at the collection of family photos. The collage had become the most cherished part of the house for Brenda. Brenda looked down at the Memorial Day photo of John, Jax and Jillian. The picture, a perfect shot of three generations of the Jacks family, was the latest addition to the wall of family memories.

Brenda took a deep breath as her eye caught sight of the photo from the first anniversary celebration on the Isabella. She remembered Augustin taking the photo the night of the annual card party. Jax's arms were around her resting lovingly on her swollen stomach. They had been less than four months away from Jillian's glorious appearance into the world when the photo was taken. Brenda's gaze then went immediately to the photo from Jerry and Julia's wedding. Jax held Jillian with one arm and his other arm was around Brenda. The drop waist of the gown Brenda wore hid the slight bulge in her stomach. She had just begun the second trimester of the pregnancy with Jamie at the time of the wedding.

Her eyes involuntarily moved between the gambling party picture and the photo from Jerry and Julia's wedding. Both images showed the identical brightness in her eyes, the same glow on her cheeks. She was afraid a mirror would not reflect the same image on her face now. Fear and anxiety were not bright and glowing. She lifted her right index finger and traced the pictures, hoping to replace the worry with only the joy.

Brenda let out a soft sigh as she sensed Jax's nearness. She did not hear him enter the study but she discerned his presence before his arms moved around her. She closed her eyes as his lips tenderly caressed the spot behind her right ear. Brenda then rubbed the muscles on his forearms as Jax rested his chin on top of her head. His embrace was so loving and so sheltering, Brenda just wanted to crawl inside him where it was safe and warm and where the darkness and fear could not find her.

After a few minutes, Brenda finally stepped out of his embrace and turned to face him. Jax stroked her cheek as he softly spoke. "Sweetie, how are you?"

Brenda shrugged her shoulders slightly. "I'm here."

Jax took her hand and led her to the sofa where he sat down with her in his lap. "You had your dream again, didn't you?"

Brenda nodded and then rested her head against his bare chest. He was just wearing a pair of blue satin pajama bottoms and she was wearing the matching top as a nightshirt. "Yes."

Jax kissed the top of her head as he wrapped his arms just under breasts. "Do you remember any more of it?"

Brenda shook her head and her fingers trailed down the taut muscles of his chest. "No, but Melanie said I would remember it when I am ready to and not to push right now."

Jax tightened his hold around her and a tingling of electricity shot through him as he felt the weight of her breasts. Just as had been the case with her first two pregnancies, Brenda's blossoming breasts were the first sign of her body's change. "I am just so happy that it is not the nightmares."

Brenda lifted her head from Jax's chest and looked into his eyes. "You were right about them. Talking to Melanie about them the past two sessions seems to have helped." Her voice shook slightly with emotion. "Thank you for being there with me."

"I love you, Brenda, and we are only going to be able to do this together."

She swallowed the lump in her throat. "I just hope it starts getting easier soon. I don't want to feel like this. It is not supposed to be like this."

Jax hugged her against his chest. "I know sweetie." He held Brenda for a moment and then took a deep breath. "Are you sure you're up to seeing Lucy today? I can bring Jillian for her visit and take the holiday campaign outlines over to the lighthouse for you."

Brenda lifted her head again from his shoulder. "I love you for it but I have to do this. You heard Melanie yesterday. I have to start dealing with this. Plus I owe it to Lucy. Bryndie is ten days old and I have not seen her yet."

He gave Brenda a small smile. "I'm sorry. Sometimes I have to be reminded that you don't need a protector."

Brenda shook her head. "Don't ever think that I don't need you. I need you more than anything, especially now."

Jax hugged Brenda and rocked her gently. "I'm here. Now and always."

She took a sharp intake of air. "It has been such a rough few months for you and now you are worried about me." Brenda's voice wavered. "We haven't made love in almost two weeks and I'm sorry. I miss you so much but...."

"Shhh, don't apologize." Jax threaded his fingers through her silky hair. "Brenda, it's been a very difficult time for all of us. And now that Jillian is well and Tracy has been dealt with and J & J Jacks is on its way back, I think we should think about getting away for a few days."

Brenda looked up at Jax. "Maybe. Melanie said it would not be a bad idea."

Jax nodded. "Exactly. Now, where do you want to go? Malibu, Paris, Kronos, Fiji, the Mediterranean... Salzburg? Just name it."

Brenda cocked her right eyebrow. "Salzburg? Hell, you must really be worried about me."

Jax softly laughed. "I love you and that is all that matters to me."

Brenda traced his jawline with her finger. "Thank you but I don't think I am up to that or any of those glorious places right now, either physically or emotionally."

Jax nodded in understanding. "Okay, I have the perfect spot then. How about a few days at the cottage? It will be quiet and peaceful and you can see Dream and Jillian can spend some time with Kayla."

Brenda's mouth curved into a smile. "That sounds perfect. I love you."

Jax kissed Brenda's forehead. "Great. I have a few things I have to take care of with Jerry before he leaves for Hong Kong on Thursday but after that, I can rearrange my schedule."

Brenda took a deep breath. "I have an appointment with Melanie tomorrow and the Kanga's Kradle financing meeting on Thursday morning but I can reschedule everything else."

Jax flashed her a big grin. "Then we leave Thursday after lunch. Jillian can nap in the car and we can spend four or five days at the cottage and at the stables now that they are back in our hands. Jillian can finally see the new pony."

A little squeal was heard followed by the sound of rapidly retreating footsteps. Brenda lifted her head. "I think someone is awake."

Jax shook his head. "I wonder what the little princess is doing now?"

Brenda rested her head back down on Jax's shoulder. "That is anyone's guess these days. She is definitely your daughter."

Jax chuckled. "My daughter? Excuse me but her recent antics just prove that she is definitely your daughter."

Brenda rolled her eyes. "I don't think so. I don't ever recall stockpiling caterpillars in my pockets and then putting them under my pillow to see if they turn into butterflies. Your mother has told me all about your fetish with insects."

Jax had to bite his bottom lip to stop from laughing at the memory of Brenda's screams the night before when she had lifted Jillian's pillow and found the caterpillars. "Yes, I collected insects but she is still acting more like your daughter. Trust me, I never had a fixation on perfume and make-up as a child."

Brenda smugly smiled. "I would hope not." She then began giggling as she recalled the sight of him over the weekend. Jax had fallen asleep on the couch when Brenda was upstairs. Jillian was in the den with him and decided he needed a make-over and proceeded to get into Brenda's purse and find her lipstick and perfume. When Brenda walked into the den, his lips were covered with "Red Rhapsody" and Jillian was spraying him for the tenth time with "Unbridled Passion." It had taken Jax two showers to get rid of the scent.

Jax glared at Brenda as her mirth continued. "That is enough."

Brenda choked back her laughter to get the words out. "But honey, you looked so beautiful."

Jax began tickling her and then they heard the sound of footsteps and something being dragged up the carpeted hallway toward the study. A moment later, Jillian appeared at the door with Roo-Roo in one hand and the straps to her backpack in the other.

Jillian pulled the overflowing backpack into the study, leaving a trail of hair ribbons and socks behind her. "Roo-Roo and me are aaalll ready."

Brenda sat up and smiled. "Ready for what, Jillian?"

Jillian let go of the backpack and scurried over to the couch. "To see the horses and new pony and Kayla."

A huge grin appeared on Jax's face. "I see, you heard Mommy and Daddy talking about going to the cottage."

Jillian bobbed her head up and down. "Yes, and my backpack is done."

Brenda pushed back a few curls from Jillian's forehead. "You packed all by yourself to help Mommy? Thank you."

Jillian beamed and went back to the backpack and dragged it to the sofa. "See, Mommy, all done."

Brenda reached down and picked up the pack and surveyed its contents. "Yes, I see -- here are hair ribbons, books and your birthday horn, and bathing suit, white purse, Winnie-the-Pooh bank and one black patent leather shoe."

Jillian picked up a sock and ball from the floor. "And here is a sock and Lady's toy." She then held out Roo-Roo to Brenda. "And Roo-Roo. All ready."

Brenda flashed her a big smile. "You did a very good job."

Jax tweaked Jillian's nose. "Yes, you did, Jillian. And all in one bag. You could teach your mother some things about packing."

Brenda elbowed Jax and then lifted Jillian up into her lap. "Thank you sweetie. We won't go to the cottage for two more days so we will put these things away until then. And you can help Mommy pack her suitcase tomorrow."

Jillian sighed loudly. "Two days is long. I want to ride the pony."

Brenda nodded. "It is but Daddy and Mommy have some work to do first. And remember what happens after your nap today?"

Jillian's face suddenly brightened again. "We go to Aunt Lucy's house and play with Bryndie and the ducks."

Brenda caressed Jillian's soft cheek. "Right."

Jillian clapped her hands. "Yeah!"

Jax kissed Jillian's cheek. "And now it is time for breakfast before Maggie comes and Mommy and Daddy go to work."

Jillian slid off of Brenda's lap. "I want bananas."

Brenda's stomach lurched at the thought as Jax helped her from the sofa. Jax lifted Jillian into his arms. "Daddy will cut you a banana for your oatmeal."

Brenda picked up the socks and hair ribbons from the floor. "Jillian, I am going to put your backpack away until we are ready for it."

Jillian waved. "Okay, Mommy."

Jax kissed Brenda sweetly on the mouth. "We will see you downstairs."

Brenda smiled as she picked up the last of the ribbons from the floor. She then looked over at the wall for a last glance at the collage of pictures. Her heart wanted to dream about a whole new set of photos which could be on the wall seven months from now but her head was not ready for that. Some dreams just had to wait.

The Collins Lighthouse -- 4:00pm

Kevin answered the door and helped Brenda and Jillian with their packages. "What in the world is all this?"

Brenda walked into the house. "Some food and don't worry, Josee supervised so it is edible."

Jillian smiled. "I helped with the brownies. I stirred them all up for Mommy." She then held up her teddy bear gift bag. "And I have presents for Bryndie."

Kevin winked at Jillian. "Thank you so much, Jillian. I am so glad that Bryndie is going to have such a wonderful friend."

Jillian grinned and Brenda hugged Kevin. "Congratulations Dad. How are Lucy and the baby?"

Kevin smiled proudly. "We are all muddling through."

Sigmund and Sidney were standing in the corner and began quacking as soon as Brenda and Jillian walked into the living room. Kevin glared at the two web-footed creatures. "That is enough you two. You are not the center of attention any longer, get used to it."

Brenda softly laughed. "Do I detect a little jealousy from Jillian's web-footed friends?"

Kevin nodded. "Oh, yes. I am waiting for them to push the bassinet out the front door."

Jillian put down her gift bag and scurried over to the ducks. "Hi Sigmund and Sidney. I will pet you."

The ducks stood still as Jillian stroked the feathers on their backs. Kevin rolled his eyes at the ducks as they basked in the attention. "You two are unbelievable." He then turned to Brenda. "Lucy will be out in a few minutes, she's getting Bryndie dressed. I will take these things into the kitchen." He then headed into the kitchen with the food.

The guest room door then opened and Lucy walked out with Bryndie over her shoulder. "Here we are."

Brenda smiled and crossed the room to reach Lucy. She kissed Lucy and then Lucy lifted the baby so that Bryndie was facing Brenda. "Bryndie, this is your Aunt Brenda."

Bryndie opened one eye and then the other as Brenda looked down at her. "Lucy, she is so beautiful."

Jillian scampered over to them. "I wanna see the baby."

Lucy lowered her arms so that Jillian could see the baby. "Here she is, Jillian. This is Bryndie."

Jillian gasped softly. "Her eyes look like me."

Brenda squeezed Jillian's shoulder. "Yes, Bryndie's eyes are sparkling blue just like yours."

Jillian grinned. "And Daddy's."

Lucy smiled as she put Bryndie into the bassinet basket. "Jillian, Bryndie would be very lucky if her eyes were as beautiful as you and your Daddy's."

Jillian looked into the bassinet. "Can I see if she's soft like Roo-Roo?"

Brenda grabbed Jillian's hand. "First, we have to wash your hands since you were playing with the ducks."

Brenda took her into the bathroom and helped Jillian wash her hands. Once that was done, Brenda splashed cold water on her own face. She patted her face dry as she looked into the mirror. She took a deep breath, grateful that she had made it through the first five minutes. Brenda and Jillian then left the bathroom and returned to the living room.

Kevin had joined Lucy in the living room. Jillian skipped over to the bassinet. "My hands are all clean."

Brenda watched as Jillian put her hand in the basket. "Remember to be very gentle and not to touch the top of her head."

Jillian nodded as she stroked her finger against Bryndie's cheek. "Aahh, she is so soft."

As the baby opened her eyes and gurgled, Kevin smiled at Jillian. "Bryndie likes you, Jillian."

Jillian giggled as she looked down at the baby. "I like her. She is pretty just like my doll baby, Victoria." Jillian turned to Brenda. "Mommy, touch her. She feels just like Roo-Roo's head."

Brenda involuntarily held her breath as she reached into the bassinet and caressed Bryndie's cheek with her index finger. Bryndie's eyes fluttered open again and she reached out and grasped Brenda's finger.

Jillian flashed Brenda a broad grin. "Mommy, Bryndie is holding your hand. She really likes you."

Brenda finally exhaled as she smiled down at the baby. "Hello sweet Bryndie. Look at those long eyelashes and those delicate fingers."

Lucy nodded. "It's just not fair. Her eyelashes are longer than mine."

Brenda touched the baby's cheek again. She could not help smiling at the warmth and velvety softness of Bryndie's skin. "You are beautiful little one."

Sigmund started quacking loudly and Bryndie's eyes widened. Lucy shook her finger at the duck. "Sigmund, what has Mommy told you about that."

Kevin rose from the couch. "All right Sigmund, that's it. It is time to go out into the yard." He then looked over at Sidney. "And you too, Sidney."

Jillian spoke up. "I can play with them outside."

Brenda caressed Bryndie's hand one more time and then picked up the gift bag. "That is a very good idea, Jillian, but first you can give Aunt Lucy your present for Bryndie."

Kevin picked up Sigmund. "Jillian, we will be out in the yard whenever you are ready."

Jillian beamed as she took the bag from Brenda and handed it to Lucy. "Here, Aunt Lucy."

"Thank you honey." Lucy opened up the bag and removed a rabbit with a pink bow tied around its neck. There were also rattles and plastic keys at the bottom of the bag.

Lucy smiled brightly at Jillian. "It is beautiful. Bryndie will love it."

"Look, it is like magic." Jillian then squeezed the stomach of the rabbit and a soft squeak could be heard. "It squeaks, Aunt Lucy."

Lucy kissed Jillian's cheek. "Thank you so much. Bryndie will have so much fun with the rabbit."

Brenda patted Jillian's arm. "Now you can play outside for a few minutes with the ducks. Behave for Uncle Kevin."

Jillian skipped out of the living room while Brenda sat next to Lucy on the couch. She handed Lucy a wrapped package. "This is from Jax and me."

Lucy opened up the box and found a quilt made to match the pattern used in Bryndie's room. "Oh, Brenda, it is the pattern from the nursery. This is just gorgeous."

Brenda smiled. "I found a quilter just outside of Spring Meadows. She did a beautiful quilt for us to match the teddy bear pattern we used for........" Brenda swallowed the lump in her throat. "...for Jamie's nursery."

Lucy reached over and touched Brenda's hand. "Brenda, I am sorry. Are you all right?"

Brenda nodded as she caught her breath. "I will be."

Lucy took a deep breath. "I can't even imagine how hard this must be for you and Jax."

Brenda shook her head. "Lucy, please don't even think about that. You have much more important things to think about." Brenda then looked over at Bryndie who was now sleeping in the bassinet. "Much more important things."

Lucy smiled as she patted Brenda's hand while both women gazed at the baby. Sometimes you had to be reminded about what was important and today, life had provided quite a lesson.

Thursday, June 21, 2001
The Barrett/Jacks Penthouse -- 7:30am

Two open suitcases sat on the bed as the last minute articles had yet been packed for Jerry's trip to Hong Kong later this afternoon. Julia walked into the bedroom just as Jerry threw a few extra pairs of socks into the suitcase.

Julia sat down on the edge of the bed. "Did you remember the shirts that were delivered yesterday from the dry cleaners?"

Jerry nodded as his gaze was fixed on the circles under Julia's eyes and tension on her face. "Yes, all packed."

Julia rubbed her temples. "Well, if you realize you have left anything, just let me know."

He closed up one of the suitcases. "Are you sure you are feeling all right?"

Julia cleared her throat slightly. "Yes, I am fine. Don't worry."

Jerry frowned. "Julia, please. You have seemed upset and strained since yesterday."

Julia felt her head starting to pound. "Jerry, I told you last night I am fine and that is still the case. You will have enough to deal with during the next week without worrying about things that aren't there or can't be changed."

A look of complete bewilderment appeared on Jerry's face. "What in the hell is that supposed to mean?"

Her voice became slightly raised. "It means there is no need to worry."

Jerry exhaled sharply. "Julia, are we going to go through this again?"

Julia shook her head and spoke in a much softer tone. "Jerry, please don't do this now."

Jerry walked over to her. "Julia, the last thing I want to do is get into an argument right now."

Julia nodded her head slightly. "I don't want to argue with you either."

Jerry looked down at her. "I know you are going to make an appointment with Dr. Meadows for the end of next week. I will do what I can to get back here by then."

Julia swallowed the lump which had formed in her throat. "We will see how the timing works out. I don't even know what Lynn's schedule is yet."

Jerry sat down on the bed beside her. "You just call me when you know."

Julia took a deep breath. "I will. You just get to Hong Kong and take care of what you need to do and then we will worry about whatever else once you get back."

Jerry's hand caressed the area behind Julia's left ear. "If that is what you want."

"That is exactly what I want." Julia then glanced over at the bedside clock. "It is getting late, we had better think about getting out of here."

Jerry flashed her a devilish grin. "Well, you could join me in the shower to save time."

Julia raised her eyebrow. "I seriously doubt that would save any time. In fact, we would most certainly be late."

Jerry shrugged. "You can't blame a guy for trying."

"No, I can't." Julia patted Jerry's bare thigh. "Of course, even if I did, it would never stop you anyway."

Jerry smirked at her as he got up from the bed. "Glad to hear that you still know the score, Mrs. Jacks."

Julia rolled her eyes. "Yes, you lost. Now just get into the shower."

Jerry grabbed a pair of boxers and headed into the bathroom. "No, Julia. It is most definitely your loss." He laughed out loud as he closed the bathroom door behind him.

Julia did not even hear his laughter, her ears were ringing too loudly in her own head. She fell back onto the bed and covered her face with her hands. In less then eight hours, Jerry would be on his flight to Hong Kong and she could stop hiding for the next week. She just had to get through the rest of the morning without crumbling in front of him.

She sat up and ran her trembling fingers through her hair. She had not slept in two days and she felt as if her nerves were shot. It had been like this ever since she had seen Lynn Meadows two days before. Julia had never told Jerry that she had scheduled the appointment, nor had she shared her test results with him or anyone else. Suddenly it did not seem to Julia that bad news was meant to be trumpeted or shared. It was somehow safer to keep it hidden away from everyone, including herself.

Julia rose from the bed and walked over to the chest of drawers. As she looked in the mirror, she could not stop thinking about her phone call from Lynn Meadows from the day before. The tests results were available and the hormone therapy was causing no marked improvement in her condition. The odds were extremely slim that she would ever be able to conceive a child on her own.

Julia closed her eyes as she thought back to earlier this week. She had finally gone to Kevin and Lucy's to extend her congratulations on Bryndie's arrival. Seeing the baby in Lucy's arms had caused the ache in her heart to intensify. Julia had left the lighthouse and spent the next fifteen minutes in her car, sobbing. That was when she decided to finally see Lynn Meadows and determine if there had been any improvement from the months of hormone treatment. Now she knew there had not been and that only in vitro procedures would ever give her a chance to carry her own child.

She brushed away the tears that had crept down her cheeks. Her stomach was a series of knots as she thought about the minimal odds of success with the in vitro procedures. She knew she would never be able to withstand months and months of waiting and disappointment. And then there was Jerry. All Julia could think about was the sacrifices he would be making because of her. And then all the worrying he was doing about her. The situation in Hong Kong was sticky enough, she could not add to his distress right now.

Julia heard the shower being turned off and she quickly dried her eyes. She then grabbed her lingerie so that she could head into the shower as soon as Jerry came out. She wanted to avoid him as much as she could before they left for the office. He was getting too proficient at reading her. A minute later, Jerry walked out of the bathroom. He was wearing a pair of black satin boxers and was towel drying his hair as he stepped into the bedroom.

"Well, Julia, you had your chance. Now it is just too late."

Julia forced her face to show a small smile. "I will just have to live with it."

Jerry flashed her a smug smile. "Good luck. Countless other women have tried, but have failed."

Julia shook her head as she walked by him toward the bathroom. The phone then rang and Jerry reached for it. "Hello."

Her sweet little voice was heard on the other end. "Hi Uncle Jerry. I'm calling to say bye."

A grin appeared on Jerry's face as he sat down on the bed. "Bye to you too, Roo."

Jillian giggled. "Mommy says you have to go away for lots of days to work."

Julia stood in the doorway of the bathroom watching Jerry. "Yes, Roo, I am going to Hong Kong to work. But I will be back, maybe I will even bring you back something."

Jillian smiled as she held the receiver to her ear. "You mean a present?"

Jerry chuckled. "Yes, how about some eel?"

Jillian moaned. "Eeww. That is yucky."

Jerry smirked. "Then what about an octopus arm?"

Jillian shook her head. "No, no! That is icky."

Jerry bit the inside of his lip to control his mirth. "I have the perfect present, Roo. I will bring you some fish eyes."

"No!" Jillian huffed into the phone. "Uncle Jerry, no yucky stuff. Only pretty presents."

Jerry chuckled. "Okay Roo. I will see if I can find you something pretty then. Now, you have a nice time when you go to the cottage this afternoon."

Jillian beamed. "I get to ride the new pony, all by myself."

Jerry nodded. "Good, be careful and I will see you when I come home."

"Love you, Uncle Jerry." Jillian began waving Roo-Roo's arm. "Roo-Roo is waving bye to you."

Jerry's face showed a huge smile. "Say bye to Roo-Roo for me. I love you, Jillian. Bye."

Julia stepped into the bathroom and quietly closed the door behind her. Her tears had returned and her heart ached even more. Today, love really hurt.

J & B Stables -- 5:00pm

Kayla was waiting with Abby at the main training area when Jax pulled the Grand Cherokee into the grass. Jillian waved through the jeep's window at Kayla and Abby. Jax got out of the vehicle and opened the door to the back seat. He then helped Jillian down and she raced over to meet Kayla.

While the two girls giggled and squealed, Jax and Brenda walked over to Abby. "We made it."

Abby hugged both Jax and Brenda. "Kayla has been bouncing off the walls for the past three hours."

Brenda laughed as she watched Kayla and Jillian twirling around. "Jillian was just as impatient. She could not understand why we had to go to the cottage first to drop off Lady, the groceries and the suitcases."

Abby shook her head in amazement. "They are something, aren't they?"

Jax rubbed Brenda's shoulders as he stood behind her. "That they are."

Brenda looked over at Abby. "Lila told us how helpful Kayla was showing her around at the Breeder's Championship last weekend. I really appreciate all that you, Steve and Kayla did for her."

Abby smiled at Brenda. "It was our pleasure. She had such a wonderful time and of course Dream taking home first prize was just the icing on the cake." Abby then cleared her throat. "Now Edward was another story."

The bright sunshine glistened from the golden highlights of Jax's tresses as he spoke. "What a surprise?"

Brenda choked back her laughter. "When the stables were transferred back to us earlier in the week, we insisted that Lila keep the ribbons from the Championship. Edward about flipped when she hung them in the cabinet with his gun collection."

Jax smugly smiled. "And to think, I missed that Kodak moment."

Brenda rolled her eyes at him just as Kayla and Jillian joined the group. "Mommy and Daddy, I want to see the pony."

Jax knelt down beside Jillian. "Are you sure?"

Jillian bobbed her head up and down. "Oh, yes."

"Okay, I guess it is time for you to meet Silhouette."

Abby signalled for Kenzie to bring Silhouette from the stall. Jax lifted Jillian into his arms to watch for the pony to appear. A few minutes later, the cream colored pony emerged from the stable.

Jillian gasped and her mouth formed an "O" as she watched Silhouette approach. "Mommy, she's here."

Brenda rubbed Jillian's leg. "Yes, that is Silhouette and Kenzie is going to bring her right over to see you."

Kenzie brought Silhouette into the training area and then led the pony over to the rail where Jax and Jillian stood. "Jillian, here is someone who has been waiting to meet you. Silhouette, this is Jillian."

Kenzie then looked down at Jillian. "And Jillian, this is Silhouette."

Jillian's entire face lit up. "Hey Silhouette. You look just like the pony in my story." Jillian then reached into the pocket of her jeans. "This is my chapstick, it tastes like strawberries."

As if on cue, the pony let out a soft neigh and shook her head. Jax grinned as he rubbed Jillian's back. "Silhouette must really like strawberry chapstick."

Brenda stroked the pony's mane as she smiled at Jillian. "And Silhouette must really love you."

Jillian's eyes sparkled like diamonds. She leaned forward as Jax held her and Jillian began to pet Silhouette's head.

Brenda guided Jillian's hand to the top of the pony's head. "That's good, sweetie. Pet Silhouette right behind her ears."

Jillian stroked the pony's head for a few moments and then turned to Jax. "I wanna ride the pony."

Jax gave her a teasing look. "Are you sure? You can wait until tomorrow or the next day."

Jillian's eyes looked like saucers as she shook her head. "Not tomorrow. Please, Daddy."

Jax laughed and then nuzzled his nose against Jillian's soft curls. "I was just teasing you, princess. You can ride Silhouette."

Jillian clapped her little hands together as she spoke to Brenda. "Mommy, I can ride her."

Brenda took Jillian's hand and kissed it. "Yes, you can sweetie."

Kenzie and Abby each held a set of the reins to Silhouette while Jax lifted Jillian onto the pony. Brenda pulled the small pair of riding gloves from her pocket. "Jillian, these are for you." She then slipped the light brown gloves onto Jillian's hands.

Jillian held her hands out in front of her and gasped. "Mommy, they're just like yours."

Brenda nodded. "Yes, and now you have your own pair."

Jillian trembled with excitement. "Roo-Roo is gonna be so surprised." She then looked up at Brenda. "Mommy, you can ride Dream right next to me."

Brenda smiled. "I am going to let Dream rest on this trip so I won't be riding him. This trip is for you to ride your pony."

Jax took one set of reins from Abby. "Okay, princess, are you ready?"

Jillian bobbed her head up and down. "Yeesss, Daddy." She looked down at Kayla. "I'll wave to you, Kayla."

Jax handed Jillian the set of the reins. "Okay. Daddy is going to walk right beside you while Kenzie leads Silhouette around the circle."

Jillian flashed Brenda a beaming smile. "Mommy, remember to take my picture for the angel room. Me and Silhouette."

Brenda removed the camera from its case. "I am all ready. Now you just hold on tight for Mommy."

Jillian nodded as Kenzie started walking Silhouette around the perimeter of the training area. Jax walked beside the pony with his hand on the end of the saddle. Jillian's smile covered her entire face as Silhouette trotted around the corral.

Jillian giggled with glee as she looked over at Jax. "Daddy, this is so fun."

Jax's twinkling blue eyes gazed into their mirror image. "It sure is, princess."

As Kenzie led Silhouette back to where Brenda, Abby and Kayla were standing, Brenda snapped a few more shots. "Smile, Jillian."

Jillian flashed her a huge grin as she spoke. "Cheeeeese."

Kenzie stopped the pony and Jax took the reins from Jillian. "Jillian, congratulations. You just finished your very first ride."

Brenda smiled brightly at her. "Sweetie, you did a wonderful job. One day you can take care of the horses with Kenzie."

Jillian's hands shook as she rubbed them together. "Daddy and Mommy, I love the pony and I am sooo happy."

Jax lifted Jillian from the pony. "We are sooo happy too." He then swung Jillian around and her laughter echoed over the fields.

Brenda walked over to Jax and Jillian and kissed the tip of Jillian's nose. "Sweetie, I think that you and Silhouette are going to be great friends."

Jillian gazed at the pony and nodded. "Can I ride the pony again?"

Jax lowered Jillian to the ground. "When we come back tomorrow, princess. Today has been a long day for Mommy and Lady is waiting. We will just go say hello to Dream and Cyclone and then we need to get back."

Brenda took Jillian's hand. "We have to eat dinner soon."

Jillian sighed. "I hope tomorrow comes real fast."

Brenda brushed her fingers under Jillian's chin. "It will. Until then, do you want to give Silhouette some of her dinner before Kenzie takes her back."

Jillian frowned and there was a deflated tone in her voice. "I have no food." She reached into her pocket again. "Only chapstick and ponies can't eat that."

Jax shook his head. "You are right but do you think Silhouette would like this?" He then pulled out a carrot from his pocket.

Jillian clapped her hands together. "Oh, yes. Ponies love carrots."

Brenda held Jillian's hand and led her back to the rail. "Easy, sweetie."

Jillian fed the carrot to Silhouette and the pony neighed and shook her head, making her ears flop back and forth. Jillian giggled again and spoke to Kayla. "The pony is so silly."

Silhouette neighed again and Kayla joined in on the laughter. "She is funny."

Brenda squeezed Jillian's shoulders. "Okay, it is time to say good night to Silhouette and Kenzie. You will see them both tomorrow."

Jillian waved as Kenzie prepared to lead the pony back to the stable. "Bye Silhouette and Kenzie. I will bring more carrots tomorrow and Roo-Roo too. You will love him, he's a baby kangaroo."

Jax and Brenda said their good-byes to Kenzie and then Abby put her arm around Kayla's shoulder. "We have to think about getting up to the house and your sister. Colleen and Daddy are waiting for us."

Both Jillian and Kayla groaned and Brenda turned to Jillian. "Jillian, you and Kayla will have lots of time to spend together. We will be here for four more days. Maybe tomorrow you and Kayla can ride the ponies together."

Kayla bobbed her head up and down. "I'll ride Ebony and you ride Silhouette, Jillian."

Jillian performed her version of the Brenda dance. "Yeah!"

"That is what we will do then." Abby ran her fingers through Kayla's blonde hair. "Kayla, would you like Jillian to spend tomorrow night with us?"

Kayla grinned broadly. "Yes, Mommy."

Jillian squealed. "I want to come."

Brenda softly laughed. "You can go, Jillian, if Kayla can come to our house on Saturday night."

Kayla echoed Jillian's sentiments. "I want to come too."

In unison Abby and Brenda spoke. "Okay, girls."

Jillian and Kayla jumped up and down for a few seconds before Brenda and Abby took their hands. "Okay, time to say good-bye until tomorrow."

Jillian sighed loudly. "Bye Kayla."

Kayla waved. "Bye Jillian."

Brenda and Jax said good-bye to Abby and Jax lifted Jillian into his arms and then up onto his shoulders. Jillian squealed and shrieked as they headed away from the training area. "I am riding Daddy just like Silhouette."

Brenda laughed. "Yes, you are."

"This is so good." Jillian sighed with sheer contentment. "It's just like Christmas."

As she looked up at Jillian, the glow in Brenda's eyes shined brighter. "Yes, Jillian, it certainly is."

Brenda linked her arm through Jax's as they made their way to the stables to see Dream and Cyclone. Today was pretty perfect.

Saturday, June 23, 2001
The Cottage -- 8:30am

Jax was lying on his side in bed, propped up on his elbow. He had been watching Brenda sleep for the past half hour and he was still mesmerized by the sight of her. Jax had awakened earlier and slipped out of bed to go downstairs. As soon as he had eased his arms from around Brenda to get out of bed, she had immediately reached for him in her sleep. He had moved his pillow into her grasp and she had hugged it against her chest and smiled. Jax had then gone down the steps to put Lady on her chain in the back yard and get some things from the kitchen. Lady was much too enamored with the wildlife to be left in the wide open yard alone now. The dog's penchant for traipsing through the deep woods only served to coat her fur with thistles, burrs and ticks.

Brenda whispered in her sleep again and Jax knew that she was still dreaming. She had been dreaming since dawn but each time he had looked at her, she was smiling. She seemed happy and Jax had stayed perfectly still to not disturb her blissful visions. He was sure she was having the same dream she had been having for days now. Brenda could not remember much of it but Jax knew that it did not frighten her. She had murmured the words, "coming home," several times as she was dreaming but the rest of the time, Brenda was simply smiling. In her dreams, she was at peace and that was all that mattered to him.

Jax sighed to himself as he looked down at Brenda again. Her mouth was still curved into a smile and he wondered if she were still dreaming. He could not help thinking about the recurring dream he had experienced himself over the previous three nights. Just like Brenda, Jax's recollection of the details of his dream was sketchy. All he could remember was standing before a window watching the falling snow and that his arms were full. Even though he could not envision any more details, Jax could not help wondering if it could have been their baby that felt so right in his arms. Could it be their own little miracle that was expected to arrive in the middle of the snowy winter season in Port Charles? The joy he felt in his heart when he had awakened made the idea believable but he was not sure his head was willing to accept the notion so readily.

Jax moved his right hand and gently brushed a loose curl from the center of Brenda's forehead. For now, he had decided to not tell Brenda about his dream and what he thought it could mean. She was still trying to come to terms with all of her feelings and she was not ready to even think about what joy there could be. Some days he was not either but the past two days had brought a sense of peace to him. Jax was convinced that part of the reason behind that was the fact that Brenda seemed more steady. He had seen the beginning of a change in her as soon as they began the two hour drive to the cottage. It was as if the closer they got to the quiet and coziness of the cottage, the more calm Brenda had become. Jax had heard her laugh more yesterday than he had in the past three weeks and he felt his own mood brighten. The trip to Spring Meadows had been just what they all needed.

Yesterday, they had spent the late morning taking a walk through the woods down to the stream. Brenda had suffered with a bout of morning sickness early in the morning but she was feeling well enough to accompany Jax, Jillian and Lady on their little adventure. Jillian wanted to see how to fish so Jax had tied string around two sticks and made fishing poles. He even had used bent paper clips as hooks just as he and Jerry had when they were fishing for dinner during the toughest of times in Australia. As Brenda cringed at the sight of Jillian handing worms to Jax, the fishing expedition was underway. Shortly thereafter, Lady had to make life interesting by disturbing the serenity of the stream and leaping into the water after a turtle.

Lady's swan dive had caused enough of a disturbance for all the fish to flee that area of the stream. Brenda appreciated Lady's efforts immensely as she was not interested in seeing any more hooks baited with worms or smelling any fish. Jillian had scolded the dog while Jax just shook his head as Lady crawled up the banks of the stream to reach dry land again. The soaked four legged beast then proceeded to shake three times spraying water in all directions. Brenda had been out of the line of fire from the sudden shower and had begun laughing. Jax had then walked over to Brenda and grabbed her before carrying her over to where Lady was standing. Amidst her screams, Jax lowered his arms so that Brenda was just above Lady and then the dog shook two more times, causing another stream of water to spray through the air. Brenda was then as wet as the rest of them and it was Jax and Jillian's turn to laugh.

After the fishing lesson, they had headed to the stables and Jillian and Kayla had spent the afternoon riding the ponies and playing. Brenda had spent some time with Dream and Cyclone and then she and Jax watched Kenzie and Abby take the horses through an intense training session in preparation for next weekend's show. Brenda missed her riding time with Dream but the pregnancy had put an end to those thoughts until at least the late winter. She was still struggling to find the courage to dream about the joy that the winter could bring their family but Brenda was going to do everything she could to try to make those dreams a reality.

Brenda sighed in her sleep and Jax smiled again as he looked down at her. Her cheeks had some color in them so that they now almost matched the shade of her rosy lips. Jax exhaled slowly as his eyes continued to gaze at her full lips. When he closed his eyes, Jax could almost feel the touch of Brenda's velvety soft lips on his and taste the sweetness of her. He had to use every ounce of control he had to not run his finger and then his own mouth over her lips.

A low moan escaped his lips as he thought back to last night. After they had left Jillian with Steve and Abby to spend the night with Kayla, Jax and Brenda had gone to the Spring Meadows Inn for dinner. Betsy had set aside Jax and Brenda's regular table for them and Brenda always enjoyed seeing Betsy and Bill at the inn. The only negative to having the cottage was the fact that Jax and Brenda missed spending time with Bill and Betsy at the inn. Brenda had made it through dinner but her exhaustion had gotten the better of her on the way home. She had fallen asleep in the jeep and Jax had carried her into the house and up the steps to the bedroom. He had undressed her and then slipped Brenda into her ivory stain pajama set.

Jax looked over at Brenda again and saw that she had shifted to the exact position she had been in last night when he had tucked her into bed. Her two hands rested under her head and she looked just like an angel. Jax swallowed hard as he thought about the conflicting images Brenda portrayed. She had the face of an angel but was filled with fire and passion and possessed a body that could turn any man into a sinner. An almost inaudible groan fell from his lips at the memory of the curves Jax had uncovered when he undressed her the previous night. Jax shook his head as he realized that even after five years of sharing a bed with Brenda, one look at her could still make him pant. He then laughed to himself as he thought that the most dangerous aspect of that trait was the fact that Brenda was fully aware of it.

Jax's weakness to Brenda's allure and ample charms was driving him more crazy than ever. He missed their lovemaking, the emotional connection as much as the physical one. The past two weeks had been rough for both of them between their struggles with the pregnancy news and then Brenda's exhaustion and bouts with illness. He wanted so much just to love her and let Brenda feel every ounce of devotion he had in his heart but he knew she was struggling with the thought of feeling anything right now. Jax exhaled slowly as he wondered when reality again would match the images in his head, where he explored every inch of her soft curves.

Brenda's soft moans jarred Jax from his visions of passion and longing. He caressed her cheek as her eyes opened. Brenda's mouth curved into a brighter smile as she turned her cheek into the warmth of his hand. She moaned again and then kissed the soft skin of his palm. Jax moved closer to her and then slid further under the sheets.

Jax's eyes were dancing in the sunlight as he spoke to her. "Good morning sleeping beauty."

Her long eyelashes fluttered as her eyes adjusted to the bright sunlight streaming in the windows beside the bed. "Good morning honey."

Jax lowered his head and moved his lips over hers. "How are you feeling?"

Brenda took a deep breath. "Okay for a change." She then kissed Jax again.

Jax motioned toward the table next to his side of the bed. "I brought up some food hoping you could get something into your stomach this morning."

Brenda lifted her head up slightly. "Are there any of Betsy's raspberries and blackberries over there?"

Jax gave her a lopsided grin. "Of course. After last night, I am surprised Betsy did not send Bill out in the dark to pick another bucket of them just for you."

Brenda shrugged as she lowered her head again into the soft pillows. "Don't you think that is a slight exaggeration?"

He shook his head. "No. You had two orders of shortcake with them and then ate three quarters of mine." Then Jax began to chuckle. "And then those extra orders of whipped cream."

Brenda rolled her eyes. "So I was hungry."

Jax choked on his laughter. "Believe me, sweetie, you made that perfectly clear..." Brenda swatted his arm and Jax's laughter became louder. "To everyone at the inn."

A slight frown appeared on Brenda's face. "You are the one who has been so insistent that I eat."

She looked so precious nestled under the quilt that Jax could not resist goading her. "Yes, but I did not think you would take me so literally. I expected to be able to eat my dinner and dessert as well."

Brenda glared at Jax as she looked up at him. "You are not funny, not funny at all."

Jax controlled his mirth and leaned closer to her. "I'm sorry, sweetie."

Brenda cleared her throat. "No, you aren't."

Jax had to fight off his laughter again as Brenda scooted away from him. "I was just teasing you. Come here."

Brenda simply ignored him which just caused Jax to smugly smile. He shook his head and moved over to her side of the bed. "You are so damned adorable when you are pouting."

Brenda folded his arms in front of her. "You are still not funny."

Jax stroked her upper arm. "I will stop teasing you. Now how about some breakfast? There are some delectable berries over there just waiting for you."

Brenda only shrugged and Jax sighed deeply. He reached over and picked up the bowl of strawberries, raspberries and blackberries. "Don't they look delicious?"

Brenda looked over at him. "Since you seem so focused on the fact that I ate three quarters of yours last night along with some of your dinner, you eat them. You must be starving. I am surprised you have not passed out from malnourishment."

Jax had to bite the inside of his mouth to stop from laughing. He could not believe how stubborn she was at times but he loved seeing that obstinacy now. It was classic Brenda and it was just more evidence that she was showing more signs of her old self.

Jax balanced the bowl of fruit on the pillows and then reached over and grabbed the other bowl. He moved it in front of Brenda. "Look what else we have, whipped cream." He smiled at her. "And it is fresh and so sweet."

Brenda bit her bottom lip as she began salivating for the taste of the sweet berries and whipped cream.

Jax knew she was going to start drooling at any second. He decided to move in for the kill as he dipped his finger into the bowl and then brought his finger to his mouth. "As Jillian would say, yum-yum."

Brenda sighed loudly. "You are so going to pay for this."

Jax smirked as he plunged a strawberry into the whipped cream and then fed it to Brenda. "I know."

Brenda took the last bite of the strawberry and then sensually ran the tip of her tongue over her mouth. She laughed to herself as she watched Jax's eyes follow the motion of her tongue. Pay-backs were going to start now.

She leaned toward Jax and used two fingers to scoop some whipped cream from the bowl. Jax swallowed hard as the satin of her pajama top shifted giving him a full view of the fullness of her swelling breasts. Brenda moved both fingers to her mouth and then slowly sucked the sweet cream from her skin. Her tongue moved tantalizingly over her fingers, removing every morsel of the whipped cream. For the final nail on the coffin, Brenda softly moaned as she licked away the last bit of the sweet treat.

Jax finally exhaled and his voice was ragged. "You don't play fair, Mrs. Jacks."

Brenda fed Jax a huge blackberry covered with whipped cream. "I told you that you were going to pay so you were forewarned."

Jax took another deep breath as he sucked the last traces of the fruit juice from her fingers. "I guess they say that all's fair in love and war."

Brenda nuzzled her nose against Jax's neck. "And you know I play to win."

Jax dropped soft kisses on the top of her head. "Yes, it is one of the things I love most about you." He then kissed Brenda fully on the mouth before running his tongue sensually over her lips. "But I also play to win."

Brenda cocked her right eyebrow. "I see." She then caressed Jax's hand as she gazed into his eyes. They were a sea of blue radiating pure love and flames of passion. "Jax, I love you so much."

Jax cradled the back of her head with his palm. "I love you too, sweetie."

She held his gaze for a moment and then spoke in a wispy voice. "Then let's both win." Brenda traced her finger along Jax's jawline. "Please make love to me."

Jax kissed her forehead. "Are you sure?"

Brenda nodded. "I love you and I want you and I need you."

Jax brushed his fingers under her chin. "I just want to love you."

Brenda's voice shook slightly. "That is all I want too."

Their lips met in a scintillating kiss which quickly escalated in passion as the tip of Brenda's tongue rimmed the outside of Jax's mouth. Jax parted her lips with his tongue and he delved it inside her mouth. He tasted every inch of her and then her tongue joined his in a sensual dance. Brenda moaned into Jax's mouth as his tongue moved faster against hers. Jax eased Brenda against the pillows as their mouths continued their complete exploration.

His hands slid under the satin of her pajama top and Jax pushed the material up her chest. Jax moaned as he uncovered her silky orbs. They were incredible and Jax could have sworn that they had become fuller overnight. The valley which used to rest between her breasts was now a canyon. Jax tentatively stroked the side of Brenda's right breast. "Do they still hurt?"

Brenda gave him a reassuring smile. "Just love me."

Jax eased the pajama top over her head and his hands roved over the velvety softness of her full chest. Her body immediately responded to the warmth and tnederness of his touch. Brenda whimpered as her head moved deeper into the pillows.

After a few moments, Jax's mouth captured Brenda's lips again. His hands continued to roam over her body. They stroked her shoulders and arms and then moved down her chest. His lips then followed the trail of his hands as tiny kisses were dropped on her soft skin. Jax hesitated a moment as he reached that area of her stomach and Brenda knew his uncertainty was in deference to her feelings. She whispered to him. "It's okay. You can love all of me." Jax placed baby kisses on her stomach and lovingly caressed it before his lips moved back up her chest.

Jax's hand slipped beneath the elastic of the satin shorts of Brenda's pajama set. Jax guided them down her legs and her panties quickly followed. He looked down at her and his eyes roved over every inch of her. "You are so beautiful." Brenda's hands caressed Jax's chest and then moved to his stomach. Brenda pushed the boxers down his legs and Jax moved on top of her.

Brenda was breathing heavily beneath him as Jax nudged her legs further apart with his knee. His hands caressed the inside of her thighs as Brenda's fingernails dug into the skin of his back. She cried out his name as his hands caressed every inch of her body.

Jax gazed down at her but did not move as he relished the feel of just being inside her. It was as if they were put on this earth to be together. Brenda licked her dry lips and shifted beneath him luring him to join her in their passionate voyage.

Her breathless moans and the enticing movement of her hips, coaxed Jax into continuing their journey. As Brenda cupped the taut muscles of his butt, Jax moved within her. Currents of warmth and love flowed through them as if they were sailing on the ocean. Jax murmured his love for her as she trembled beneath him. As he rocked her gently and tenderly, Jax took hold of her arms and her cries became louder. The swells of love were coming to their ultimate crest as Jax braced her arms over her head as he spoke to her.

Jax saw the love in her eyes as they interlocked their fingers. He whispered his love to her and with a loud wail, Brenda felt the waves crashing at the shore. She dissolved in his arms as multiple explosions erupted inside her. His name echoed from her lips as paradise was reached. Jax's own control was gone and heaven opened for him and the final surges of desire broke against the shore. Her name now reverberated from the walls of the cozy bedroom. With a final groan from deep within him, Jax collapsed into her arms.

A few moments later, Jax took Brenda into his arms and tucked the sheet around her. Her head rested on his chest and Jax stroked her hair. He looked down at Brenda and saw tears trickling from the corners of her eyes. Jax gasped in alarm and then the words tumbled from his lips. "Brenda. Oh, sweetie, what is it? Did I hurt you?"

Brenda shook her head vehemently. "No." She lifted her head so she was looking into Jax's eyes. "You could never hurt me."

Jax caressed her face. "Then what is it?"

Her voice was filled with emotion and then she lowered her eyes. "It felt the same....the same as it was after we found out about Jillian and Jamie."

Jax lifted up her chin. "What did?"

"I could feel you loving both of us." Brenda struggled to get her words out. "It is the first thing that has felt the same."

Jax smiled at her at the sound of the term "us." It had been the first time Brenda had allowed herself to speak of she and the baby as an "us." "Sweetie, it's supposed to." Jax hugged her to his chest. "And I do love both of you very much."

Brenda wrapped her arms around Jax and closed her eyes as he eased them back under the sheets. Jax caressed her back and whispered words of love as she began to drift off to sleep. A smile was again on Brenda's face as the sensation Jax's love continued to course through her body. Suddenly it did not seem so frightening to feel again. They were taking baby steps in all this but they were moving forward. One day, worries would be replaced with dreams and pain with joy. Until then, their love would have to see them through.

The Cottage -- 6:00pm

Jax turned over the hot dogs as they cooked on the small charcoal grill while Brenda poured the lemonade into the plastic cups. Jillian and Kayla were chasing after Lady and giggling. They were at the edge of the cleared portion of the property about fifteen yards from where the wooded area began. The tent was set up several feet behind the big blanket which Brenda had spread out. The cottage was only a little over a hundred yards away but tonight the backyard was the Australian Outback.

They had not come to the cottage prepared for a camp-out but Steve and Abby had a tent and two children's sleeping bags for the girls. Jillian had borrowed Colleen's Winnie-the-Pooh sleeping bag while Kayla had her own Barbie sleeping bag. Jax and Brenda kept a small grill and charcoal at the cottage as well as some flashlights and lanterns so the make-shift camp-out was set. Kayla had actually brought the topic up early this afternoon when she spoke about her father's fishing trip two weeks before and his stories about camping in the tent. Jillian had immediately picked up on the idea and excitedly asked Brenda if they could camp in the woods this evening since Kayla was spending the night.

Jax had subtly tried to dissuade Jillian's plans since Brenda was generally so exhausted by the end of the day but Brenda had immediately told Jillian and Kayla that they had a great idea. Brenda actually seemed as excited about it as the girls which put a huge smile on Jax's face. They had not been camping since Australia the year before Jillian entered their lives. When they were expecting Jamie, Jax and Brenda had talked about going on a camping trip once the baby was old enough to manage but those plans, along with many others, had dissipated in the grief surrounding Jamie's death. Maybe one day all of those past visions could come to fruition.

The hot dogs were ready and Jax put them into the toasted buns while Brenda called Kayla and Jillian for dinner. It was the girls special night so they had picked the menu as well. Hot dogs, carrots, potato chips and oranges for dinner with pink lemonade as their drink of choice. The girls had helped Brenda make popsicles with the lemonade for dessert. The popsicles were in the freezer at the cottage until later.

The girls sat down on the blanket and Jax handed them their plates while Brenda handed the drinks to them. At the smell of food, Lady quickly retreated from her pursuit of a frog. She sat right behind Kayla and Jillian waiting for the first crumbs of dinner to drop. The dog then began getting impatient and started to whine. Jax looked up at her and snapped his fingers. "Lady, you know better than that. Go lay down."

The dejected pup sighed heavily as she moved over to the grassy area and laid down. Jillian looked over at Lady and moaned. "Poor Lady. She is sad."

Brenda sat down across from Jillian. "Why do you think she is sad?"

Jillian whispered loudly to Brenda. "She is sad cause I gave treats to Silhouette."

Brenda smiled as she spoke at Jillian. "Did Lady tell you she was sad?"

Jillian shook her head. "She told Roo-Roo and he told me."

Brenda turned to Jax. "Daddy, did you hear that? Lady is sad."

Jax nodded. "I heard." He then questioned Jillian. "What do you think we should do, princess?"

Jillian took a sip of her lemonade. "Me and Kayla talked to her."

Jax flashed her a broad grin. "What did you and Kayla say to her?"

Jillian sighed. "That she was still the bestest dog and we can't take ponies for walks."

Kayla continued after swallowing her carrot. "And we can't go in the sprinklers with a pony."

Jax squeezed Brenda's hand and he talked to the girls. "Did that make Lady feel better?"

"A little." Jillian held her thumb and index finger out to show Jax about an inch of space. "This much."

Kayla added the insight of a five year old. "Lady will get used to it just like Colleen did when I go to school and she has to stay home."

Brenda grinned as she leaned against Jax. "My goodness, both of you girls have really thought about this. I am sure you really helped Lady."

Jillian took a deep breath. "I don't like when Lady is sad. I love her just like Roo-Roo."

Lady lifted her head and looked at Jillian and Jax chuckled. "Princess, I think Lady knows that."

Jillian frowned slightly. "She still looks sad."

Brenda just shook her head and laughed at the butterscotch colored fur ball sitting in the grass. The pup's eyes were like saucers and Lady was milking the sorrow that they spotlighted. "Jillian, you and Kayla can give Lady her treats before bedtime. And then if you want, Lady could share the tent with you."

Jillian gasped. "To sleep with me and Kayla and Roo-Roo?"

Brenda nodded. "Yes, since we are camping and Daddy and I will be sleeping outside. Lady can watch you in the tent."

Both Jillian and Kayla started squealing and then Jillian gave Lady the good news. "You can have a bone for dessert and you get to sleep with me and Kayla and Roo-Roo."

Lady lifted her head from the grass as Kayla added her thoughts. "And there will be no ponies."

Jillian shook her head. "Nope, no ponies. They are tooo big."

Lady barked and the sound of her tail wagging against the ground was then heard. Jillian giggled as she looked over at Jax and Brenda. "Look, Lady is not sad now."

Jax winked at the girls. "We see and we are very glad."

Brenda nodded. "Yes, now we can just eat dinner and not have to worry about Lady being sad."

"Okay." Jillian took a bite of her hot dog. "And when it's dark we can get the flashlights."

Jax kissed Brenda's forehead as a bright smile crossed her face. It was so good to feel joy again. More specifically, it was great to feel anything again.

An hour and a half later, the sun had set and darkness was quickly approaching. Brenda had taken the girls up to the house for a trip to the bathroom and to get the popsicles. The girls had also changed into their pajamas and Jillian had picked up Roo-Roo from her bed so he could join in on the camping expedition. Jillian and Kayla turned on their flashlights and the lanterns flickered around the tent area. Jax read them a story as Brenda was in the tent making sure the sleeping bags and pillows were ready for the girls.

The sound of crickets filtered through the air and Jillian's mouth opened wide. "It's loud."

Jax nodded his head. "Yes, that's the crickets singing in the woods."

Kayla smiled. "It's pretty."

Jillian looked up at Jax. "Mommy doesn't like crickets."

Jax flashed her a big grin. "I know, princess."

Kayla leaned back on the blanket. "My Mommy tells Daddy to step on them when she sees them."

Jillian reached over and touched Jax's arm. "Daddy, you have to smush the crickets for Mommy if they come on the blankets."

Kayla bobbed her head up and down. "Yes, just like my Daddy does."

Jax tweaked both of their noses. "I will smush all the crickets."

Jillian beamed and then called out to Brenda. "Mommy, there won't be any crickets. Daddy will save you."

Brenda peeked her head out of the tent. "I know, sweetie. Daddy will take care of all of us."

Jillian giggled. "Yup, because he loooves you."

Brenda sighed contently. "Yes, Daddy loves us and we are so lucky."

For all the times you stood for me
For all the truth that you made me see
For all the joy you brought to my life
For all the wrong that you made right
For every dream you made come true
For all the love I found in you
I'll be forever thankful baby
You're the one who held me up, never let me fall
You're the one who saw me through, through it all

Jax had finished the story and Brenda sat on the blanket with her arms around both girls. Lady was laying beside the blanket while Jax was preparing the makeshift bed for he and Brenda in front of the tent. Jillian and Kayla were too excited to sleep. Kayla talked about the campfires that her older cousin had told her about in Girl Scouts and Kayla was looking forward to being a Daisy scout in a few months when kindergarten started.

Jillian looked up at Brenda. "I want to be a girl scout and a daisy when I get big. Then we can have a campfire too."

Brenda smiled as an idea popped into her head. "We can have a type of campfire tonight and make something you will love."

Both girls sat up. "What can we make?"

"You will see." Brenda then got up from the blanket. "I will be right back."

A slight look of confusion appeared on Jax's face. "What are we doing?"

"Having a campfire and making s'mores. I just need you to get that charcoal going again."

Jax's face showed an even more bewildered look. "Excuse me. S'mores?"

"Poor dear." Brenda sighed and then patted him on the arm. "You have led such a sheltered life. Thank heavens you met me."

Jax chuckled as she walked away from him. "Thank heavens and believe me, my life has not been the same since. All because you love me."

Brenda smirked. "Aren't you the lucky one?" She then blew Jax a kiss as she hurried toward the cottage. "And don't forget the grill for the campfire."

Jax laughed to himself and shook his head. Luck did not even begin to cover it. She was everything to him and he was everything because of her.

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith cause you believed
I'm everything I am because you loved me

Brenda returned a few minutes later with a box of Jillian's graham crackers, the Hershey bars that had become a craving of hers of late and a container of marshmallows from the late winter trip they had made to the cottage. They were a little stale but they would serve their purpose. The girls were practically licking their lips at the mere sight of the ingredients.

Jillian spoke in her excited tone. "Yummy, chocolate and marshmallows."

Kayla helped Brenda break up the chocolate. "Do we cook this?"

Brenda nodded. "Yes, we melt the chocolate and the marshmallows on the graham crackers so they are like big, gooey cookies."

In unison, Jillian and Kayla spoke. "Yum-yum."

Jax chuckled at the glee of the three chocoholics. He could not even imagine what such a concoction would taste like.

Brenda sighed at the expression on his face. "Just wait and see, you will love it."

Jax winked at her. "Whatever you say. I'm not going anywhere."

Brenda flashed him a beautiful smile. "I know. You will stand by me through anything."

You gave me wings to make me fly
You touched my hand, I could touch the sky
I lost my faith, you gave it back to me
You said no star was out of reach
You stood by me and I stood tall
I had your love, I had it all
I'm grateful for each day you gave me
Maybe I don't know that much but I know this much is true
I was blessed because I was loved by you

The girls were resting on the blanket licking their fingers after sampling their very first s'more. Needless to say Jillian and Kayla were already huge fans. Brenda sat on Jax's lap and fed him half of her s'more. She smugly smiled as he sucked the chocolate from her index finger.

She cleared her throat to hide her mirth. "So, Mr. Jacks, what did you think of the s'mores?"

Jax tightened his grip around her waist. "They were passable. I did not want to hurt your feelings and waste them."

Brenda rolled her eyes as she laughed. "I see. I guess you don't need this other half then."

Jax grabbed her hand. "Not so fast."

Her right eyebrow rose in triumph. "Would you like to modify your statement?"

Jax sighed as he gave her a lopsided grin. "S'mores please."

Brenda giggled as she fed Jax the last bite of the s'more. "Ye of little faith."

Jax rubbed his cheek against her hair. "That is why I have you around. You give it to me every day."

Brenda rested her forehead against his and told Jax she loved him before getting up to take the sleepy girls to the bathroom before their night in the tent. Jax smiled as Brenda and the girls used their flashlights to wave at him when they reached the cottage. Love was such a wonder at times.

You were my strength when I was weak
You were my voice when I couldn't speak
You were my eyes when I couldn't see
You saw the best there was in me
Lifted me up when I couldn't reach
You gave me faith cause you believed
I'm everything I am because you loved me

The stars twinkled above and the light from the moon cast a glow over the backyard. Inside the tent, Jax quietly stood over the girls and saw that they were peacefully sleeping. He backed out of the tent and let Lady inside to sleep at the end of Jillian's sleeping bag. The dog laid down and accepted her job to watch over the sleeping angels.

Jax checked on the lanterns and grill and then eased under the comforter beside Brenda. She was fighting sleep and rested her head on Jax's chest as he wrapped his arms around her. Brenda whispered to him. "Jax, thank you for loving me."

Jax rested his cheek on top of her head and whispered in kind. "Thank you Brenda, for loving me."

I'm everything I am
Because you loved me

Wednesday, July 4, 2001
The Barrett/Jacks Penthouse -- 1:45pm

Julia was pacing around the living room as her head pounded. Jerry's trip to Hong Kong was finally coming to an end. The planned week had turned into almost two and his plane was due into Port Charles in about two hours. The extra week had provided Julia an additional seven days to wallow in her own pain without interruption or scrutiny and she had taken full advantage of it. Now she had to find a way to handle the situation with Jerry.

Unfortunately the Asian quadrant of the J & J Jacks conglomerate was still reeling from the damages suffered over the past few months. The situation had to be re-evaluated for the fourth time which was a major cause for Jerry's extended stay in Hong Kong. John had joined him in Hong Kong a few days before to determine the next course of action. The problems had given Julia a reprieve from Jerry's persistent worries and inquiries but that was going to change once he was back later this afternoon.

Julia rubbed her throbbing temples as she thought back to yesterday afternoon at the office. She had come back to the office unexpectedly between meetings and had walked into her office suite just as Sally was showing Carol and Francesca pictures from the ultrasound she had undergone yesterday afternoon. Julia knew that Sally had purposely waited until Julia had left the office to share the photos in order not to upset her. Julia had managed to keep a smile on her face and alleviate Sally's uneasiness by asking to see the photos. After looking at them, Julia had gone back into her office and picked up a file and then told Sally she was heading out for her meeting and would see her tomorrow. In reality, Julia got into her car and canceled her meeting and then went home where she spent the rest of the afternoon in tears.

Julia was getting used to the tears as torrents of sobs had become the norm over the past two weeks. It was as if the tears had become a part of her and she carried them like an extra layer of skin. The sanctity of home was the showcase for the peeling of the new layer as Julia was generally able to camouflage her true appearance in public. Every night she would retreat to the penthouse and drown in her pain.

Outside of the office, Julia had managed to avoid everything and everyone over the past ten days. She had begged off of two dinner invitations from Brenda and canceled a lunch date with her since Jax and Brenda had returned from Spring Meadows. Brenda had finally just shown up in the office on Monday at lunch time to see Julia. Julia knew that Brenda's suspicions had been aroused and Julia tried to placate them by telling Brenda that she was just worried about Jerry and Hong Kong and that her schedule had been terrible. Julia did not think that Brenda was totally convinced but Brenda had eased off the inquiries for the time being.

Julia stood at the sliding door to the balcony of the penthouse. It was a typical sunny summer day and there were few clouds and no rain in the forecast for the firework tonight. She looked out toward the borders of the park where later this afternoon, the Fourth of July festivities would start. It would be an afternoon and evening of picnics, games and races, music, and family fun before the fireworks show tonight. Julia trembled slightly at the vision of family fun and the sound of children's laughter which would be echoing throughout the park today. She had promised Brenda that she would meet her and the family there later today and the thought of that caused her stomach to churn but the alternative was spending the afternoon and evening trying to hide her anguish from Jerry and seeing the worry on his face and that contemplation caused an even greater ache in her heart.

Julia sighed deeply as she knew she had to pull herself together to survive the rest of the day. A moment later, she heard the sound of keys in the front door. She turned and looked at the mantle clock and then her breath caught in her throat as Jerry walked through the front door.

Jerry dropped his two suitcases at the door and a big smile appeared on his face. "Hey kiddo."

Julia found her voice. "You're here. I was going to come pick you up in an hour."

"I told Chuck I wanted to get home to my wife so he put on the turbo charge and the tail winds whisked us home." He moved toward her. "I missed you, Julia."

Julia could not resist being drawn into his arms. She wrapped her arms around Jerry's neck and buried her head into his shoulder. "I missed you too."

Julia continued to hold him. It felt so good and for a few precious moments, her heart did not ache.

Jerry massaged her back and then released her from his embrace. "Are you okay, honey?"

Julia took a deep breath as the pain in her heart returned. "Yes, I am just glad to see you and I guess you caught me a little off guard with your surprise arrival."

Jerry brushed his fingertips along the skin under her chin. "I did not want to be away from you for another minute." He kissed her and then nuzzled his nose against her cheek. "And this way we have another hour to spend in bed."

Julia stroked the back of Jerry's neck and she swallowed the lump that had formed in her throat. His neck muscles were tight and his eyes looked tired. "You look exhausted and you're as tight as a rubber band."

Jerry took Julia's other hand in his. "You could take care of all of that."

Julia squeezed Jerry's hand as she spoke to him. "I think some sleep would take care of it even better."

Jerry pulled her closer to him. "I don't think so."

Julia let go of his hand. "I do, plus I promised Brenda that I would meet them in the park for the festivities."

Jerry groaned. "I think Brenda would understand."

Julia sighed softly as she continued to rub his neck. "Jerry, I told her I would be there. If you would rather, you can stay here and get some rest and I will just go."

A small frown formed on Jerry's lips. "I don't like the sound of that. I have just spent two weeks away from you, why would I want to do that?"

Julia took a deep breath. "Then come with me. I just didn't want you to feel as if I was forcing you to do something you may not be up to."

Jerry rubbed his eyes. "Okay, let's start this over."

Julia nodded her head. "Fine." She exhaled slowly at the look of confusion in his eyes. It was the last thing she wanted to cause. She reached out and touched Jerry's cheek. "Why don't you get into bed and I will try to work some of those knots out of your neck. Then you can get some rest and I will unpack your suitcases. I'll call and tell Brenda that we will both meet them later this afternoon."

Jerry gave her a small smile. "That will work."

Julia returned his smile. "Good. I'll call Brenda and meet you in a few minutes."

Jerry kissed Julia and then went to the front door and picked up his suitcases before heading to the bedroom. She took a deep breath and sat down before her trembling legs gave way. She did not know how she was going to get through all this but she had just survived the first hurdle of the day.

She called Brenda and then spent the next twenty minutes massaging Jerry's neck and shoulders. Each muscle was tighter than the one before. Julia quietly got out of bed as he was beginning to drift off to sleep. She opened the first suitcase and took out his shaving kit. As she removed it, Julia caught sight of a small pink robe with intricate embroidery at the cuffs and down the front of it. Next to it, was an even smaller version of the same robe. Julia picked both of them up. They were made from pure satin and were extremely beautiful.

Jerry opened his eye and saw Julia examining the garments. "Do you think they are pretty enough for Roo?"

His voice startled her. "What?"

Jerry cleared his throat. "They are ceremonial robes and Jillian asked for a pretty present. Do you think those will meet with her approval? The "pretty" department is usually your area. The little one is for the doll you gave her for Christmas."

A knot in her stomach tightened as she saw how excited and worried Jerry was about his gifts to Jillian. Julia tried to suppress the emotion in her voice. "They are beautiful and she will love them."

"Good." Jerry smiled as his eyes closed. "We'll know with one look at her face, she lights up like a little Christmas tree when she is happy." He opened his eyes again and spoke to Julia. "Since you have found Jillian's gifts, you may as well open yours. It is in the side pocket."

Julia fought to control the emotions raging inside her as she put the robe down and reached into the side pocket. She pulled out a long velvet jewelry case. She looked over at Jerry who was watching her. Julia opened the case and another lump formed in her throat.

Jerry tried to keep his eyes opened. "I know how fond you are of mother-of-pearl so I thought it was perfect."

The gold of the bracelet shined and the mother-of-pearl inlay seemed to sparkle brighter than the diamonds of her engagement ring as Julia held the gift. "Thank you. It is just gorgeous."

Her shaking legs allowed her to take the three steps to reach Jerry and she kissed his forehead as sleep overtook him. Julia managed to get out of the bedroom before a deluge of tears started and to get into the kitchen before the sobs overcame her. At that moment, Julia could only wonder how the sobs and heartache would ever stop.

Port Charles Park -- 5:30pm

The park was a flurry of activity as the Fourth of July celebrations were fully underway. The bandstand in the center of the park had been the scene for musical performances all afternoon. Various games and other competitions had been transpiring around the area by the lake. The last event, the three legged race, was slated to start in a few minutes. After the games were over, picnic dinners would be shared and then Ingo and the Angels would perform before the fireworks display took place to close out the holiday festivities.

Brenda, Lois and the children were watching the competitions by the lake while Jax and Ned had gone to the parking lot to get the coolers from the cars for dinner. Anthony was determined to take part in the games and refused to stay still for a minute. Since he had taken his first steps three months ago, it seemed that Anthony had never sat down again. Lois and Brenda were acting as gates to keep him between them but he was refusing to give up. Lois finally decided to take him to the swings for a reprieve and Brooke went with her. Brenda and Jillian stayed to wait for the men to return.

Jillian turned around and saw that Jax and Ned were approaching and that Jerry and Julia were accompanying them. Jillian began waving at Jerry and Julia. "Mommy, they're coming."

Jillian got up from the blanket and scampered over to them. "Uncle Jerry, you're home."

Jerry looked down at his hands and feet and smiled at her. "No, I am not really here. I'm really still on my trip."

Jillian put her hand over her mouth as she giggled. "No, you're home."

Jerry reached down and tugged on one of Jillian's curls. "Yes, I'm home, Roo."

Jax chuckled as he put down the cooler. "Not that we missed you at all."

Brenda shook her head at Jax and then hugged Jerry. "Welcome back."

Jerry kissed Brenda on the cheek. "Thanks." He immediately noticed the color in her cheeks and the absence of the deep circles under her eyes that had been there when he had last seen Brenda. "You must be feeling better, you look great. I guess the trip to see the beasts in the woods was just what you needed."

"Yes, a trip to see the beasts in the woods was just what I needed." Brenda laughed softly at Jerry's standard reference to the stables in Spring Meadows as a trip to see the beasts in the woods. He still had no fondness whatsoever for the horses and the location of the cottage was much too remote for him.

Jax put his arm around Brenda and they exchanged smiles. She was still not ready to announce the pregnancy to anyone but Jax wondered how much longer Brenda would be able to keep the news a secret. With the exception of her blossoming bustline, the pregnancy was not yet noticeable. Her bouts with morning sickness had actually generated a slight weight loss but they had also caused her to cut down on her work schedule. Lois was concerned about her and Brenda knew she was going to have to answer her questions eventually but for now, Brenda still needed more time to adjust to the news herself.

Jillian hugged Julia and then smiled as she moved her little hand to touch Julia's sleeve. "Your shirt is pink, you look like me."

Julia nodded her head. "Yes, we match."

Jillian rubbed her hands together in front of her. "Pink is pretty."

Julia watched as Jerry smiled at Jillian's words. He put down the bags on the blanket and then clapped his hands together. "So when is dinner? I am starving."

Ned rolled his eyes. "It sounds like the natives are getting restless. Where are mine?"

Brenda pointed toward the playground. "Lois took the kids to the swings for a few minutes."

Ned looked through the trees at the playground. "Well, I guess I had better take these things to where Grandmother is sitting. We promised her that we would have dinner with her so that Brooke could try to get Grandfather in a better mood."

Jax laughed out loud. "Edward in a better mood? That will be the day."

Jerry joined in on the fun. "Poor Brooke is not a miracle worker. I think Edward would need a personality transplant to ever be in a better mood." Jerry then turned around and saw Edward and Lila by the trees. Jerry waved and called out to him. "Hey Eddie, what's shakin' over there?"

Ned fought off his own laughter as Edward scowled and shook his fist at Jerry. "I guess it is time to enter the battle zone again." Ned sighed and then left them to join Edward and Lila.

Jerry sat down next to Julia on the blanket and then saw Jillian on the other side of him sitting with her knees bouncing up and down. He bit the inside of his mouth to stop from smiling. "Roo, are you excited about something?"

Jillian looked over at Brenda and then put her hand over her mouth and nodded at Jerry.

A huge grin appeared on Jerry's face. "And what are you so excited about?"

Jillian shook her head and removed her hand from her mouth. "Mommy says it isn't manners."

Jerry nodded and laughed softly. "What isn't manners, Roo?"

Jillian sighed loudly. "To see if I get a present." She then turned to Brenda who was sitting next to Jax. "Right, Mommy?"

Brenda winked at Jillian. "Exactly right, Jillian."

Jax flashed her a big grin. "I knew you'd remember, princess. I am very proud of you."

Jillian tilted her head and smiled. "Now can I ask for my present?"

Jax covered his mouth to conceal his grin and Brenda buried her head against his shoulder to hide her smile. Jerry chuckled deeply and patted Jillian on the leg. "Roo, there is no need to ask. There are some presents in Aunt Julia's bag for you."

Jillian was giddy with anticipation as Julia handed Jerry the tote bag. He removed the gift bag and handed it to Jillian. "Here you go, Roo."

Jillian's fingers trembled as she pulled the satin material from the bag. "Aaahhh. A pretty dress." She ran her finger over the delicate embroidery. "With little flowers."

Jerry rubbed Jillian's shoulder. "It is a dress that the little girls in Hong Kong wear for special days."

Jillian's eyes sparked as looked at Jerry. "It sooo pretty." She then turned to Brenda. "Look, Mommy, it's pink."

Brenda gave her a big smile. "I see and it is beautiful."

Jillian dug into the bag and pulled out the tiny robe. "A baby dress."

Julia cleared the lump in her throat. "Who do you think would fit into that dress?"

Jillian chewed on her bottom lip for a moment and then a bright smile appeared on her face. "Aunt Julia, it will fit Victoria. Remember, you gave me her."

Julia nodded as Brenda reached over and stroked Jillian's back. "Yes, it will be prefect for Victoria."

Jillian began giggling as she looked at Jerry. "We'll be twins. Thank you Uncle Jerry." She took a step toward Jerry and stumbled as she tripped on the material of the robe.

Jerry caught her in his arms. "Hey there, Roo, you are welcome."

Julia took the robe from Jillian's arms. "I will take care of this. We don't want you to hurt yourself."

Jillian asked anxiously. "Can I wear it?"

Brenda smiled. "It is for special days but you can try it on for a few minutes before we eat."

Jillian handed Julia the robe for the doll. "Aunt Julia, you can hold this for Victoria and I will show it to her when we go home."

Jillian clapped her hands together and Julia helped her into the robe. Jerry tied the sash and Jillian took a step back from him. "Am I all done?"

Jerry could not help but smile at the brightness in her face. She was indeed lit up like a Christmas tree. "Just one more thing and you will be perfect." He reached into the bottom of the bag and pulled out the final part of her gift.

Jerry snapped his wrist and the pink, blue and ivory floral fan opened. "Now you are done."

Jillian gasped. "A fan just like Mrs. Ling has at the restaurant."

Jerry gave her a lopsided grin. "Just like that."

Jillian took a deep breath and shook the fan in front of her as she twirled around the middle of the blanket. "Do I look pretty?"

Jax's blue eyes twinkled in the sunlight. "You look beautiful, princess."

Brenda grabbed Jillian's hand. "Yes, you do and Uncle Jerry was very nice to bring you such wonderful presents."

Jillian scampered back to Jerry and hugged him again. "See, Uncle Jerry, this is pretty not yucky like eel."

Jerry chuckled at Jillian's recollection of his threats to bring her an eel as a gift. "Yes, it is pretty and so are you."

Jillian put her arm next to Julia's sleeve. "Aunt Julia, it matches."

Julia nodded as she noticed how the light dancing in Jerry's eyes matched the light shining on Jillian's face. Julia's voice wavered slightly as she spoke. "Yes, Jillian, it matches."

Brenda then helped Jillian take the robe off and they put the gifts safely away before opening the cooler and picnic basket to prepare dinner. They all then shared dinner before heading to the center of the park for the concert. Julia was very quiet and Jerry noticed her uneasiness at the sights and sounds of the frolicking children nearby. When he had stroked the back of Julia's neck during the concert, his fingers had met a series of knots. When he had made a comment to her about it, Julia had simply patted his arm and told him she was fine.

Now darkness had fallen and the fireworks display was due to begin. The Jacks and the Ashton families were sharing a blanket awaiting the start of the show. Anthony had finally worn himself out and he was asleep between Lois and Ned. Jillian and Brooke were twirling their neon light sticks in the grass behind the blanket. Jax leaned back on his elbows as Brenda sat between his legs and Jerry sat with his arm around Julia.

Brooke and Jillian came back to the blanket. "Is it time yet?"

Ned's smile accentuated his dimples. "In a few minutes, sweetheart."

Jillian looked down at Anthony as he slept. "Anthony's going to miss the sparkles."

Lois nodded. "He is very tired honey but the loud bangs may wake him up."

Jillian put her hands up to her ears. "You can cover his ears like I do when it is sooo loud."

At that moment the sound of the first set of fireworks being shot up into the air was heard. Jax looked up into the clear sky. "Here we go."

Brooke and Jillian jumped up and down as flashes of red and white spread across the sky. "Ooohhh look!"

The sound of pops and bangs and sizzles echoed through the air as bursts of color scattered above. Oohhs and aahhs were uttered from the crowd and applause was heard all around as the display proceeded. The fireworks were shot off over the lake and the glitter of the bright hues created a mirror reflection from the water. Jillian sat down in Jerry's lap and Brenda rested her back against Jax's chest as the show headed toward its conclusion.

As the finale began, a deluge of loud bangs and explosions rang through the air. Jillian lifted her hands toward her ears but Jerry's hands reached her ears first and he covered them as Julia looked on. Anthony awoke and then the cries of an infant sitting with his parents on a nearby blanket echoed through the air. As she sat at one end of the blanket, Julia's head involuntarily turned toward the sound of the baby. The blare of the sobs vibrated in her mind like thunder as her heart ached in distress. A tear crept from her left eye as she knew the distress was never going to end.

At the other end of the blanket, Brenda sat with Jax's hands tightly around her waist. She had also instinctively moved her head in the direction of the crying child. A small smile appeared on her face and she placed her hands on top of Jax's and moved them from her waist to her stomach. The din of the infant's cries sounded like music as her heart beat in delight. Jax kissed the top of Brenda's head as he held her. It was another delightful beginning.

SONG CREDITS: "Because You Love Me" by Celine Dion