Friday, September 28, 2001
The Jacks Residence -- 6:45am

Lady lifted her head from the rug as Jax and Brenda quietly entered Jillian's room. Jax placed the four boxes on top of the dresser as Brenda sat down on the side of Jillian's bed. Brenda's heart melted at the sight of the smile on Jillian's lips. She was such a happy child as an aura of joy seemed to constantly surround her, so much so, that even Jillian's dreams seemed to be filled with jubilation and bliss. Jax opened the window shutters and then sat down in the chair beside the bed as Brenda gently awakened Jillian.

Brenda softly caressed Jillian's cheek. "Good morning sweetheart."

Jillian's eyes opened slowly and then a huge grin filled up her entire face. "My birthday's now."

"Yes, it is." Brenda laughed as she kissed Jillian's cheek. "Happy birthday Jillian."

Jillian sat up and Jax hugged her and kissed her forehead. "Happy birthday princess."

Lady sat up and then trotted over to the side of the bed to join in on the celebration. Jillian giggled as Lady rested her head on top of the sheet. "All the days came, Lady. I'm four!" The dog wagged her tail and Jillian giggled louder.

Jillian then looked over Jax's shoulder and saw Snowflake perched on the window ledge. "Snowflake, today's my birthday. I told you it was coming."

The bird squawked and then Jillian noticed the four wrapped packages sitting on top of the dresser. She squealed. "Yeah! Presents for me!"

Brenda laughed as she put her finger to her lips. "Sshh, remember Grandmom and Grandpa are sleeping."

A voice was heard behind them as Jane walked into the bedroom with John following behind her. "No sleeping here, it's a birthday."

"It's my birthday, Grandmom," Jillian said as she smiled.

"I know my sweet girl. Happy birthday." Jane kissed Jillian and Jax stood up and gave Jane his seat.

John hugged and kissed Jillian. "Happy birthday Jillian. What does it feel like to be three?"

A deep sigh passed from Jillian's lips. "Not three, I'm four." She held up her four fingers. "Grandpa, that's this many."

John chuckled as he gave her a slight nod. "Four, I will remember that from now on."

Brenda looked at her watch. "Okay, let's open your presents since it is almost time to get dressed for school." She exchanged a look with Jane and then looked back at Jillian. "And when you come home, then you can open Grandma and Grandpa's presents just like we talked about last night."

Jillian bobbed her head up and down as she watched Jax put a box on her lap. "Okay, Mommy, more presents after school."

Brenda helped her tear the paper off the box and then Jillian lifted the lid from the box. "Brown boots just like Kayla."

"Just like Kayla," Brenda said with a nod. "You can wear them when you ride Silhouette."

Jillian lifted one of the boots from the box and showed it to everyone. "Look, I have boots."

Jax winked at her. "They are beautiful, princess. Now what else is in there?"

She removed the tissue paper and beamed at the sight of the riding helmet. "Now I can go real fast like Kenzie."

Brenda cleared her throat. "Some day, sweetie, but that won't be for a long time until after you are a lot older."

"And have lots and lots of practice, Jillian." Jax touched her hand. "One day you will be able to ride like Kenzie and Mommy and Daddy, but until then, you will slowly learn."

Jillian gave him a curious look. "Just like school and my letters?"

Jax nodded as he spoke. "Just like school and your letters."

A bright smiled appeared on Jillian's face. "I like school." She then turned to John and Jane. "I have cupcakes for everybody for my party at school."

Jane returned her smile. "What a treat."

"Josee put them in the frigerator." Jillian rubbed her hands together. "I put the M&Ms on top."

"Well, well. It sounds like we have a chef in the making." John grinned as he looked at Jillian.

Brenda softly laughed. "Maybe this way she won't be married almost two years before she can cook something edible."

Jane sighed in contentment at the gaze exchanged between Jax and Brenda at the reference to the fond memory. She then stroked Jillian's arm. "Jillian, I think it is very nice that you have cupcakes for everyone to eat."

"Everyone -- even Timmy," Jillian said with a nod.

John folded his arms in front of him. "Who is Timmy?"

Jillian exhaled sharply. "A boy with his desk next to me." She shook her head slightly. "Timmy got punished by Mrs. Brown because he didn't listen."

"Well, everyone has to listen," John said as he stroked his beard.

Jillian bobbed her head up and down. "Uh-huh. But Timmy still kissed me and Susie."

John choked back his mirth. "Oh, I see."

Jillian rolled her eyes. "Even when I told him I was gonna be four and too little for a wedding, he STILL kissed me."

Jane turned her head to hide her glee and as she did, she saw the color drain from Jax's face. She could not decide whether that sight or Jillian's story was more entertaining.

Brenda averted Jax's gaze as she took another box from his lap and handed it to Jillian. "Okay, let's open another one."

Jillian turned to Jane and John and loudly whispered to them. "Daddy doesn't like to talk about boys and kissing." She moved her index finger to the middle of her forehead. "That thing pops out here on Daddy's head and then he has to take a looong walk."

Jane had to bite the inside of her mouth to suppress her laughter. "Okay, we won't talk about it then. We'll watch you open the rest of your presents."

A deep sigh was expelled from Jax's lips at the sight of the captivating little princess. Brenda met his gaze and smugly smiled. He shook his head and murmured to her, "I am telling you, she is going to a convent."

Brenda smirked as she leaned over to Jax and kissed him on the corner of his mouth. "Of course darling."

Jillian ripped the wrapping paper from the box and then gasped softly at the sight of the jumper. "It's the one with the red flowers we saw at the store."

Brenda took the dress out of the box. "This is the navy blue denim jumper with red flower designs on the pockets. You remember what the other one looks like from when you picked it out for your first day of school."

Jillian nodded. "It has pink hearts."

"Pink hearts on a light blue denim jumper, like the color of your eyes." Brenda tweaked Jillian's nose.

"Can I wear it to school and the party?" Jillian's big blue eyes were wide open.

Brenda flashed her a big smile. "Yes, you can wear it."

Jillian clapped and then took another box from Jax. She opened it up and giggled at the sight of the books, art supplies and the two Shirley Temple tapes. "Aaahhh! Shirley! Just like Grandmom Gloria has."

"Yes, now you have them too and Brooke can watch them with you." Brenda turned to Jane and spoke. "Jillian and Brooke have become mesmerized with Shirley Temple ever since Gloria had brought one of the movies with her when she made her last visit from Bensonhurst."

"Shirley has lots and lots of curls and is so pretty." Jillian hugged the movies to her chest. "What are the names?"

Brenda pointed to the first one. "This one is called `Our Little Girl' and then this one is called," Brenda cleared her throat and smiled. "This one is called `Little Princess'."

Jillian's jaw dropped as her entire face lit up. "Just like me, Shirley's just like me."

"Yes, just like you princess," Jax agreed as he kissed the top of Jillian's head.

Brenda nuzzled her nose against Jillian's cheek. "You are always going to be our little princess." She then looked at her watch again. "Okay, there is one last box to open and then we have to eat breakfast and then get dressed for school."

Jillian opened the last small box and looked slightly bewildered as she pulled out the familiar charm bracelet from the box. "It's my bracelet." She turned to Jax. "But Daddy, I already got this."

Jax chuckled and then took the bracelet from Jillian. "Yes, princess, but look at the bracelet again." Jax then held it up to her so that Jillian could get a better look.

Jillian's mouth opened wide. "There's a doggie on the bracelet."

"That's right," Jax replied as he fastened the bracelet on Jillian's arm. "A new charm for your bracelet."

Jillian held out her arm and beamed. "Lady, look. Now I have you on my arm too." The dog barked and everyone laughed.

Brenda put her arm around Jillian. "Well, sweetheart, how is your birthday so far?"

"Sooo good," Jillian responded with twinkling eyes. "And then cupcakes and more presents and my party."

"What a day!" Jax winked at her. "Four year olds are very special."

"Very special," Brenda echoed as she hugged Jillian against her stomach.

Jillian patted gently Brenda's stomach. "Hello babies. It's my birthday, we get to sing later so you will wake up."

Jane laughed softly as everyone got up to move downstairs for breakfast. "Next year, the twins will be here for your birthday party."

Jillian nodded her head slightly. "But Jamie and the angels will be at the party for the cake. Grandma Gloria says they are always watching and singing. Right, Mommy?"

"I hope so, Jillian." Brenda felt Jax take her hand in his. "I hope so."

Brenda took Jillian's hand and the three of them followed Jane and John out of the bedroom. Both Brenda and Jillian smiled as the sound of Snowflake's early morning serenade was heard from outside the window. It was as if all the angels were singing already.

The Jacks Residence -- 6:30pm

Edward, Lila and Emily had just arrived and John and Jane were talking to them in the living room. Jax was tending bar and speaking to Kevin and Ned while Brenda, Lucy, Lois and the children were in the den. Anthony was carrying his stuffed dinosaur under his arm as he walked around the coffee table and Brooke and Jillian were talking to Bryndie while Lucy held the baby in her arms.

Jillian held out her finger to the baby and watched as Bryndie grabbed it. "She's playing with my finger."

"That's a game she likes to play," Lucy replied with a smile.

Brooke touched the pink sock on the baby's foot and Bryndie started kicking her leg. Brooke giggled. "She looks like she's trying to swim."

"She's funny," Jillian said with a huge grin. "And she's so pretty even when she drools like Lady."

Brenda shook her head as Lucy laughed. "Sweetie, all babies drool."

"Me too?" Jillian pointed at herself.

Brenda nodded. "Yes, even you. All babies."

"There's gonna be lots of drool all over the house when the new babies come." A soft sigh escaped from Jillian's lips. "Roo-Roo will have to stay away, he doesn't like drool."

Lois exchanged an understanding glance with Brenda. "I bet Roo-Roo gets used to it, honey. Just like Brooke's Fluffy did when Anthony drooled."

Brenda rubbed Jillian's shoulder. "And you and Roo-Roo can show the babies how wonderful it is to have a very special friend.

A radiant beam crossed Jillian's face and then she waved at the sight of Emily walking into the den. "Emily, do you see Bryndie?"

"Yes, I see Bryndie. She is beautiful." Emily flashed Jillian a big grin before moving in front of Lucy and the baby. "Hello Bryndie."

"She's drools like babies do," Jillian said as she looked at Emily.

"That's right." Emily touched the red bow in the back of Jillian's hair. "Now how is the birthday girl?"

"Good," Jillian replied with a nod. "I have my party and tomorrow we're gonna see all the animals and the clowns."

Emily's lips curved into another smile. "Are you going to the circus?"

Jillian bobbed her head up and down. "Yes, me and Mommy and Daddy and Brooke and Lulu and Georgie. And Kayla's coming too. We're all going to see the clowns and get balloons."

Brooke tapped Emily on the arm. "And we get to see the lady way up high on the wire."

Jillian patted her stomach. "And eat cotton candy."

"Well, it sounds like you all are going to have so much fun." Emily simpered at both girls. "What a nice birthday."

"I want my birthday to be every day," Jillian said with a giggle.

"Afraid not sweetie, only one birthday every year for all of us." Brenda wrapped her arms around Jillian's waist. "But that makes birthdays extra special."

Jillian nuzzled her head against Brenda's neck and then the sound of the doorbell was heard. "I'm getting it." Jillian hurried out of the den into the hallway. She opened the door to find Robin and Matt standing on the landing.

"Happy birthday Jillian," Robin said as she bent down to hug Jillian.

Matt handed Jillian a gift bag. "Happy birthday, I bet this is for you."

"More presents!" Jillian beamed like a candle.

Brenda rolled her eyes as reached the foyer. "Jillian, what do you have to say to Robin and Matt?"

"Thank you for my present," Jillian responded as she looked at Brenda and then at Robin and Matt.

Robin stroked Jillian's cheek. "You're very welcome, Jillian."

Brenda led Robin and Matt into the living room as Jillian followed behind them. Jillian then heard the front door open and scampered back into the foyer.

Jillian put her hands on her hips as she stood in front of Jerry. "Uncle Jerry, you didn't ring the bell. Daddy says I can open the door for the party."

Jerry nodded as he moved back out onto the landing and closed the door behind him. The sound of the doorbell was then heard.

Jillian giggled as she spoke, "I'm getting it." When she opened the door, the landing was empty. She called out, "Where are you?"

"Ah-hah, here I am." Jerry scooped up Jillian in his arms and started tickling her as he carried Jillian into the house. "See what happens when I ring the doorbell."

Jillian squealed as Jerry eased her feet back onto the carpet. "It's my birthday."

Jerry gave her a look of mock surprise. "Your birthday? I thought it was Roo-Roo's birthday."

Jillian shook her head back and forth. "No, my birthday."

Jerry sighed loudly as he gave Jillian gift. "Well, I hope you like bamboo leaves since that was Roo-Roo's gift."

"Don't listen to him," Jane said as she walked out of the living room. "Sometimes he really just needs to be sent to his room."

"You're just teasing," Jillian replied as she stared up at him.

Jerry shrugged his shoulders. "We'll see when you open the present."

"I can't open till after dinner. Mommy says when Aunt Julia comes, we eat." She looked up at Jerry with a serious look on her face. "Are you and Aunt Julia still mad?"

He felt a lump in his throat. "We won't be mad tonight."

Jillian seemed to sigh in relief. "I don't like it when you're mad."

Jane saw the pain written all over Jerry's face and she squeezed Jillian's shoulder. "Sweetheart, why don't you go put the gift on the table with the other presents."

She nodded with a big smile. "Okay, Grandmom. I have lots of presents." Jillian then returned to the living room.

Jane took a step closer to Jerry. "Son, how are you?"

Jerry exhaled sharply as he caught sight of Jax and Ned standing at the bar in the living room. "Mum, I'm really not up for this at the moment."

"All right, Jerry," Jane murmured as she patted Jerry's hand. "Just know that your father and I are here if you need us."

"I know, Mum, thanks." Jerry managed a weak smile.

The clip of Jillian's heels was then heard in the foyer. "I saw Aunt Julia's car. She's coming."

An anxious sigh fell from Jerry's lips as he headed into the living room. "I need a drink."

A new set of worried lines appeared on Jane's forehead at the sight of the anguish in Jerry's eyes.

Jillian then opened the front door and waved at Julia as she walked up the front steps. "Aunt Julia, here I am."

Julia put on a brave smile. "Happy birthday Jillian. You look so pretty."

As Julia entered the house, Jillian twirled around in her dress. "It's my birthday dress." She then held out her right foot to show off her new black patent leather shoe. "See my shoes from Grandmom. The bows never get untied."

"They are beautiful." Julia felt her breath catch in her throat as she saw Jane standing behind Jillian. She took a deep breath as she handed Jillian the gift. "Here you go honey."

Jillian's face brightened. "Thank you, now I have lots of presents."

Julia nodded. "That's wonderful."

She touched Julia's linen jacket. "Aunt Julia, Uncle Jerry's here too and he gave me a present."

"That's good." Julia's voice was barely audible.

"And Uncle Jerry says no one's mad." She motioned to Jane. "Right Grandmom?"

"That's right, Jillian." Jane then turned to Julia. "Hello my dear." Jane gave Julia a reassuring smile and moved across the foyer to hug her.

Julia exhaled deeply as she returned Jane's embrace. "Hello Jane. I'm so happy to see you."

Brenda waited a moment in the doorway until she walked out of the living room and greeted Julia. Jane's gaze drifted to the living room where she saw Jerry watching the entire scene.

"Now is it time to eat?" Jillian looked up at Brenda with a hopeful expression.

Brenda nodded her head. "Yes, now just go put your present on the table and then we will all go into the dining room for dinner."

Jillian's eyes twinkled. "Yeah! Then I can open all my presents, and show Bryndie my pretty doll from Tron."

"That's right. Now please put the present away." Brenda watched Jillian scurry into the living room while at the same time watching the color fade on Julia's face. Teddi and Tron were such sensitive subjects and the tension in the house seemed to raise a level at the mere mention of Tron's name.

Julia's voice trembled slightly as she spoke. "I'm going to fix my face. I'll see you all in the dining room." She was up the stairs before her last sentence had been completed.

Jane and Brenda both exchanged troubled looks as Julia disappeared from their sight. Even amid the celebration and revelry, they could not help but think that this was just the start of a long and upsetting evening.

Two hours later, dinner was finished and Jillian was opening the last of her gifts. Jerry had taken over as bartender and Jane was very aware that he had served himself just as much as he had served the other guests. There had been enough conversation and levity at dinner to muddle through but Jax and Brenda as well as John and Jane were well aware of the tension surrounding the family.

Jillian had been overwhelmed with her new dresses, books, toys and especially the new twin dolls from Julia. Jane and John had given her a new twin doll cradle earlier in the day so now Jillian was ready to take care of her own twins alongside Brenda in a few months. As Brenda handed her the last gift from Jerry, Jillian rubbed her hands together and giggled at him. She smiled at the sight of the laptop desk/chalkboard but then squealed at the sight of the contents of the storage drawer.

"Just like Cinderella." Jillian's voice quivered with excitement as she pulled out the clear plastic slippers and rhinestone tiara resembling the one worn by Cinderella.

Brenda looked over at Julia and there was sadness written all over her face as Julia watched the exchange between Jerry and Jillian. The anguish made Brenda's heart hurt just seeing it.

Jax chuckled at the thought of all the ribbing he had given Jerry over the past few weeks reminding Jerry about the conversation he and Jillian had shared in Jerry's office about Cinderella and her birthday. Jillian had also made mention of the conversation on numerous occasions.

Jillian looked up at Jerry. "Where's the pretty carriage and white horses?"

Jax had to turn his head away to hide his mirth while Jerry rolled his eyes. "Roo, the pumpkins are still way too small for a carriage."

"Okay, then you can make one for Halloween." Jillian nodded her head as she continued. "There are real big pumpkins then."

Brenda bit her lip to suppress her laughter. "Jillian, we will talk about that later. Please thank Uncle Jerry and everyone again for your very nice presents."

"I have one more thing," Jerry said as he reached into his pocket. "Here you go Roo, to balance out that frilly girlie stuff.

Brenda groaned under her breath at the sight of the small boomerang. Jillian clapped her hands together and then took the toy. "Just like Daddy has."

Jerry pointed to himself. "I will have to teach you, your father was never good at this."

"Jillian, your Uncle Jerry used to throw the boomerang and it would fly as far away from him as possible and never come back," Jax said with a smug smile. "Even the toys would not be his friends."

Jillian giggled and turned to Brenda and held out the boomerang. "Look, Mommy, it is gonna fly real high."

"I see," Brenda exclaimed as she took the boomerang from Jillian. "Okay, now what do you have to say to everyone." As Jillian turned away, Brenda quickly slid the boomerang under the cushion of her chair and glared at Jerry.

Jillian beamed as she looked at everyone. "Thank you everybody. Now we get to sing and have pink cake."

Jax tweaked Jillian's nose and then lifted her into his lap as Robin lit the four candles on the pink ballerina cake. Brenda moved over to the piano and provided the accompaniment as Ned led everyone in a chorus of "Happy Birthday." Jillian murmured to Jax as she rubbed her cheek against his, "Daddy, now the angels are singing too."

An hour later the party had started to break up. Edward, Lila and Emily had said their good-byes followed by Kevin and Lucy and then the Ashtons. Brenda had taken Jillian upstairs to get dressed for bed while everyone else had moved into the den. As Brenda and Jillian were coming down the steps again, Julia met them in the foyer to say good night.

She kissed Jillian on the cheek. "Good night Jillian. I'm so glad you had such a wonderful birthday."

"Aunt Julia, I don't want you to go. Daddy's gonna read my new book."

Julia shook her head. "Honey, I need to go home now."

"The house by the park?" Jillian's face displayed a pensive look. "Is that where you sleep?"

Julia swallowed the lump in her throat. "Yes, right at the park. You can come visit me and then we can to the park."

"Okay." Jillian then remembered the painting on the credenza in the hall. She skipped across the foyer and picked up the picture and scurried back to Julia. "Here's the picture I painted for you."

"Thank you Jillian." Julia struggled to maintain her composure. "It is beautiful."

Jillian pointed to the figures on the paper. "There's me and you and Uncle Jerry." She looked up at Julia. "You can put it on your wall and look at us so you won't be sad."

Tears stung her eyes as Julia hugged Jillian. "I will do that, honey."

Brenda wiped away a tear from her cheek as she saw Julia's composure slipping. Brenda put her hand on Jillian's shoulder. "Let's say good night, sweetie."

"I'll call you tomorrow after the circus," Julia murmured as she choked back her tears. "Good night Jillian."

Brenda felt her own breath catch in her throat as she saw Julia almost run to the door. It was then that Brenda saw Jerry standing outside the living room. She correctly surmised from the look on his face that he had witnessed the whole scene. Without a sound, Jerry quickly headed back into the empty living room and went directly to the bar.

Brenda sighed softly and walked to the credenza in the hallway in search of Jerry's car keys. The credenza was empty and she looked down the hall to see Jax standing outside of the doorway to the den. Jax's hand slipped into his pocket and he pulled out Jerry's car keys and held them up for Brenda to see. She gave Jax a small smile and then tightly held Jillian's hand as they headed down the hall to the den.

Jillian looked up at Brenda and spoke. "Mommy, Aunt Julia and Uncle Jerry are sad."

Brenda nodded. "Sometimes people are sad and we just have to try to help them be happy again."

"We can ask God tonight to make them not be sad," Jillian murmured. "Then the angels will help Aunt Julia and Uncle Jerry too."

Her eyes shined brightly as she looked down at Jillian. "We'll do that."

A huge grin appeared on Jillian's face. "Right after my story."

Brenda's mouth involuntarily curved into a smile. "Right after your story."

As Brenda and Jillian reached the doorway to the den, Jax lifted Jillian into his arms and Brenda linked her arm through his. As they walked into the den, Jax and Brenda silently thanked the heavens for allowing them to read nightly bedtime stories to their own little angel on earth.

Saturday, September 29, 2001
The Jacks Residence -- 7:30am

Sunlight streamed through the guest bedroom windows as Jerry shifted in bed. He fought to keep his eyes closed as the morning doves cooed in the trees alongside the house. The hushed calls of the birds seemed to be vibrating in his head. Jerry groaned at the thought of how just much his body was going to make him pay for the numerous drinks of scotch he had imbibed at Jillian's party the prior evening.

Jerry buried his head deeper into the pillow in an attempt to at least temporarily ward off the suffering his head and body were raging upon him. His head was pounding and the sound of huffing and puffing inexplicably echoed in his ears. Jerry groaned at the fact that it seemed entirely too warm for an early Autumn morning. The skin on his face felt as though it were being exposed to the warm, humid air found along the Louisiana bayous.

When he could not stand it anymore, Jerry's face contorted as he tried to open up his eyes to face the torturous day. As his eyes fluttered open, Jerry found himself looking straight into the big brown eyes of a familiar furry creature. Lady lifted her head from the bed and continued to pant as she breathed hot air into Jerry's face.

Jerry sprung up in bed as he screeched. "Aaaahhh! Get away from me, you God forsaken beast."

The sound of a startled shriek then filled the air and Jerry turned his head to see a pajama clad Jillian standing next to the other side of the bed. She was holding Roo-Roo under one arm while leaning on her other elbow as it rested on the bed. Jerry took a deep breath as he tried to regain his bearings. "Jillian, you're here?"

A curious look covered Jillian's face. "Did you and Daddy have a slumber party?"

"No slumber party," Jerry responded as he rubbed his eyes. Last night was coming back to him. He had drunk enough to get a mandatory invitation to spend the night at Jax and Brenda's.

Jillian leaned over the bed and touched Jerry's arm. "Is your bed at your house broken?"

"No, it's not broken." Jerry sighed at the realization that he had been drawn into Jillian's new found game of "twenty questions."

Jillian leaned her head over the bed to get a closer look at Jerry. "Me and Lady woke up and we found you."

At the sound of her name, the dog loudly barked. Jerry covered his ears as the clamor reverberated in his head. "No barking."

"Be quiet, Lady!" Jillian's very loud whisper only served to send further echoes in Jerry's head. "Daddy and Mommy are sleeping."

Jerry fell back against the pillows and buried his head again. His sarcastic words came out in a mutter. "This is going to be such a great day."

Jillian's eyes grew bigger as she watched him with an inquisitive expression on her face. After a moment of seeing Jerry remain motionless and silent, Jillian nudged his arm. "Are you sleeping again?"

"No, that would be too easy and much too helpful." Jerry opened one eye as he spoke and then shifted against the pillows again.

Jillian continued her questioning. "Uncle Jerry, are you sick now?"

He spoke from beneath the pillows. "No, I'm not sick."

Jillian sighed deeply. "You look sick, just like Mommy before she throws up."

"Thank you Jillian for that mental picture," Jerry replied with a moan.

Jillian's expression reflected a hint of bewilderment. "What's a mental picture? Can I draw it?"

"Uugghh," Jerry groaned as he chastised himself. "You, lunatic, see what you have started."

The game of "twenty questions" continued. "What's a lunatic?"

Jerry covered his head with the pillow before responding. "An uncle sleeping at his niece's house with a woolly mammoth beast breathing in his face."

Jillian laid her head down on the bed and lifted up the pillow covering Jerry's face. "Are you coming to the circus with us?"

Lady then barked again and Jillian looked up and saw Jax and Jane standing in the doorway. With Roo-Roo still in her arms, Jillian scurried around the bed and stood in front of the door. "Daddy and Grandmom, Uncle Jerry spended the night with us."

"Yes, he did," Jax said with a nod as he entered the guest room.

Jillian spoke in a matter-of-fact fashion as she looked up at Jax. "I think Uncle Jerry's gonna throw up all over the place. Mommy's gonna have to wash all the blankets."

Jax's mouth curved into a smile as Jerry groaned again. "I think Uncle Jerry is going to be all right."

"He looks really funny," Jillian said with an exaggerated sigh. "Uncle Jerry keeps hiding his eyes."

"Well, maybe we should let Uncle Jerry get some more rest." Jax fought to suppress his mirth as he spoke. "We can go downstairs and let Lady outside and then start breakfast to surprise Mommy."

Jillian bobbed her head up and down. "I wanna cook." She then turned to Jane. "Grandmom, you can take care of Uncle Jerry."

"I certainly will do that," Jane replied as she tickled the skin under Jillian's chin.

Jillian moved over to the bed again and patted Jerry on his shoulder. "Bye Uncle Jerry. Me and Daddy are gonna make breakfast, lots of pancakes and chocolate milk."

Jerry's stomach churned at the thought of that combination of food, actually it would have churned at the mere mention of food at this moment. Jane shook her head as she and Jax exchanged a glance.

Jillian and Jax walked out of the bedroom as Lady followed them down the hall. Jillian stopped as they approached the stairs and looked up at Jax. "Daddy, is Uncle Jerry sad again?"

Jax cleared his throat. "Yes Jillian, I think he is."

"I don't want him to be sad." Jillian's mouth curved into a frown.

Jax knelt down next to Jillian in the hall. "I don't either but remember what Mommy and I told you, sometimes people are sad. But that does not change how much they love you. Uncle Jerry and Aunt Julia love you very much."

Jillian's expression remained serious. "And they love Roo-Roo too?"

"Yes, they love Roo-Roo too," Jax answered with a nod.

Jillian's face brightened a bit as she spoke. "Okay." Without another word she turned around and scampered back down the hall into the guest room.

As Jerry remained buried amid the pillows and blanket, Jane looked up and saw Jillian coming through the door. "Jillian, you're back."

"Uh-huh," she said as she scurried over to the bed. "Uncle Jerry, Roo-Roo's here and he'll keep you company." She then put the kangaroo on the pillow next to Jerry and covered Roo-Roo up with the blanket. "Now you won't be sad."

Jane flashed a beaming smile at Jillian and touched her cheek as she went to leave the guest room again. "You're something else, my sweet girl."

Jillian's eyes twinkled as she smiled at both Jane and Jax who was standing at the door watching her. She walked out of the room but then turned around to give her instructions. "But you can't throw up on Roo-Roo. That's yucky and he doesn't like to feel yucky."

Jax winked at Jillian as he took her hand and they proceeded down the hall to go downstairs.

Meanwhile, Jerry lifted his head from beneath the pillows and looked beside him to see Roo-Roo snugly tucked under the blanket. He took a sharp intake of air and murmured aloud. "Damn...she gets me every time. The heart of that munchkin could melt the Siberian tundra."

"I know," Jane said with a soft sigh. "Sometimes I think she sees things clearer than any of us do."

"I don't doubt that," Jerry replied as he rubbed his throbbing temples. "Especially these days."

She sat down in the chair beside the bed. "We all can see the situation here. You're miserable and so is Julia." Jane paused for a moment before continuing. "The question is, what are the two of you going to do about it?"

Jerry brushed away a curl which had fallen onto his forehead. "Mum, can the lecture wait until the drums are not beating inside my head?"

"Drums you put there yourself I might add." Jane shook he head slightly as she folded her arms in front of her.

Jerry nodded his head as he spoke, "Guilty as charged and believe me punishment is being administered."

"I can't fix this for either you or Julia, only the two of you can do that." A frustrated sigh fell from Jane's lips. "But I'm afraid for both of you. What you have is too valuable to lose."

His voice was filled with emotion. "I don't know what we have anymore."

Jane's tone never wavered. "I have watched you for four years now, you love and respect one another. You belong together, Jerry, I have known that in my heart from the start and nothing has changed that."

"It's not the same, Mum." The sound of defeat was heard amidst the words.

Jane shook her head. "Down deep you're the same and Julia is as well, that is all that matters. You need each other and you still are the best things that ever happened to one another."

"Mum, so much has happened." The fear in Jerry's eyes reminded Jane of the frightened look he wore as a young boy when monsters had filled his nightmares.

"You still love each other and this is killing both of you." Jane caught her breath. "Neither of you have ever given up on anything without a fight. I am begging you, don't start now. You will regret it more than anything you have ever done."

Jerry felt the pain from his heavy heart threatening to completely overtake him. "I'm not sure we have the strength to do that."

"It is there, you just need to have the relentless desire to find it." Jane sighed again as she continued. "And you will never find it in a bottle of scotch. You are leaving for Sydney tomorrow, aren't you?"

Jerry nodded his head against the pillows. "Yes."

"Then you will have ample opportunity while you are away from Port Charles to ponder what I have said." Jane then rose from her chair. "The lecture is over and I will leave you now. It's a new day, Jeremiah, and it has to be faced -- all of it." Her voice softened. "But you need to remember, you'll never be alone. We're all here for you."

Jane then turned and walked out of the guest room without another word. Jerry watched her leave and then covered his face with his hands as the full impact of the situation began to sink in once again. As Jerry shifted against the pillows once more, he caught sight of Roo-Roo again. He heard himself take a deep breath, one more from relief than anything else. Whatever consequences the situation would bring, at the very least Jerry knew he was not alone. Sometimes comfort came in the shape of stuffed kangaroos but most importantly, it came from little earthly angels with hearts bigger than heaven itself.

The Loft -- 3:00pm

Julia stood in front of the window in the study and stared out into the sun filled day. She could see the northern boundaries of the park and countless people were in the main square enjoying the beautiful afternoon. It was such a contrast to what was going on inside of the loft. Outside, the park was alive with activity while inside the loft, it was almost as if life had stopped.

The sight of the young children in the park made Julia instantly think about Jillian. The last thing that Julia had ever wanted was to cause Jillian any pain or confusion but that was exactly what had happened. Her mind quickly revisited the torturous scene two weeks before when Jillian had seen Julia and Jerry arguing and later asked, "Do you still love me?" Julia shuddered at the thought of Jillian's query as well as Brenda's visible flinch in reaction to it.

She recalled the phone calls and face-to-face discussions with Jillian in which everyone had tried to explain that Julia and Jerry were still her aunt and uncle and still loved her very much. A jagged sigh fell from Julia's lips as she walked over to the desk. There on the desk was Jillian's painting of Jerry, Julia and herself. The sight of Jillian's rendition of the three of them together was enough to pierce Julia's heart.

Memories of all the moments she and Jerry had shared with Jillian swept through Julia's mind. So many had occurred over the past four years, from Jillian's christening day to the outings in the park; from sleigh rides in the snow to water fights in the pool; from Halloween costumes to Easter egg hunts. There had been so many instances of joy but now the recollections brought only feelings of sorrow to Julia. It was as if joy was a foreign concept to her now and Julia wondered if she would ever be able to discern that emotion again.

Nothing was getting any clearer, in fact, everything seemed even more nebulous than before. It had been five weeks since she had moved back to the loft but Julia even hurt more than before. Julia had been so worried about how much she and Jerry were hurting each other that she had decided that a separation was the only answer but now the anguish seemed to have increased tenfold. And Julia had seen the intensity of the pain in Jerry's eyes at the party. They were each drowning separately and there was no sign of a life raft in sight.

Julia looked at the corner of the desk and saw the heart shaped picture frame that Jillian had given her for her last birthday. Inside was a photograph of Jerry, Julia and Jillian in front of the fountains in the park. As she picked up the picture frame, Julia vividly remembered the spring afternoon outing and how Jax had taken the photo before the frolics in the fountain had begun. Jerry had splashed water on her which had caused a water fight to ensue right in the middle of the main square. Jillian had shrieked with laughter as she joined forces with Julia and did her own share of splashing.

Jillian's little hands had been no match for Jerry's large mitts so Julia had quickly leaned over and picked up the empty cup from Jillian's lemonade and handed it to her. Jillian then immediately dunked the cup into the fountain and filled it with water and tossed it directly on Jerry's shoes. Jax had been snapping photos and could barely control his laughter at the scene. He then had imitated the voice of the Wicked Witch in "The Wizard of Oz" and echoed on behalf of Jerry, "I'm melting."

As Jillian had giggled hysterically, Julia had scooped her up and given the proficient little water tosser a victory hug. Julia and Jillian's laughter had reverberated throughout the air and Jerry had shaken his head at the two of them. He had then grabbed Jillian from Julia's arms and then swung the shrieking child over the basin of the fountain as if to throw her into the water. When Jerry had finally lowered Jillian's feet safely to the dry ground, she bent over and patted his soaked shoes and informed him, "Your shoes are all WET." Brenda had to choke back her laughter at sight of the look on Jerry's face.

It had been just the start of another series of typical precious Jillian and Jerry moments as Jillian had spent the rest of the afternoon and night with Jerry and Julia while Brenda and Jax had attended a banquet for the stable association. As Julia put the picture frame on the desk again, she remembered that it had been the last time Jillian had spent the weekend with them. It had been almost five months before but it felt as though it had been a lifetime ago.

The sound of the doorbell then jarred Julia from her contemplative thoughts. She left the study and walked to the front door. When she opened it, Julia found John standing outside. Her voice reflected her surprise, "John."

"Hello Julia."

"Hello John." Julia felt her breath catch slightly in her throat. "Please come in."

"Thank you." He gave her a reassuring smile as he walked inside. "I hope this is not a bad time."

Julia shook her head. "There's never a bad time for you."

They walked into the living room and John sat down on the sofa.

"How are you, my dear?" He then put up his hand and further said, "And I know damn well what the truthful answer is so you might as well start off with that one."

A sigh fell from Julia's lips. "Not good."

"Miserable would have been my choice but that is close enough." John motioned for her to come sit next to him on the couch. "And how do you think Jerry is these days?"

Julia lowered her eyes a bit as she replied. "The same."

John slapped his hand against his knee. "So we have two miserable people here?"

She exhaled sharply. "John.."

His words interrupted Julia's statement. "Julia, you have known me long enough to know that I don't mince words nor do I look favorably upon what I consider to be wasted opportunities."

Julia nodded her head as she spoke. "Yes, I realize that."

"I understand that this is between you and my son but I have to tell you I don't like what I'm seeing." John looked directly at Julia as he continued. "I don't like what I am seeing one bloody bit, this is not like either of you."

Julia cleared her throat. "John, I know how upsetting this is for everyone."

"Julia, it's not everyone else I am concerned about, it is you and Jerry." John's face displayed a look of deep concern. "Every marriage has its difficulties and you both are such strong willed individuals, I expected plenty of skirmishes along the way. But this surrender is something I never fathomed from either of you."

Her voice was barely audible. "Maybe it's survival rather than surrender."

"Bloody hell, no," John muttered as he shook his head. "I don't believe that for one moment." He took Julia's hand. "You are both miserable, that is not survival."

"That may be all we have." Julia choked back the emotion in her voice. "So much has happened."

"What about everything that happened before now?" John tightened his grip on her hand. "I have watched you for over four years and have seen everything you went through to build a life together, how can either of you just throw that away without fighting with every ounce of strength that you have?"

A tear trickled down Julia's cheek. "Strength does not seem to be my forte these days."

"Find a way to get it back, it's just below the surface." He flashed Julia a small smile. "I have no doubt you can find it again."

Julia's expression was one of uncertainty. "I don't know about that."

"I do," John responded with a slight nod of his head. "And I have the same confidence in my son." He took a deep breath before continuing. "Do you have any idea how much the two of you remind me of Jane and myself when we were starting off?"

Julia bit her bottom lip slightly as she shook her head. "No."

"When you met that stubborn, reckless wanderer, it was the same man that Jane had met thirty-five years before with me." John laughed to himself. "We both still have that same stubbornness now but we're much better people. Jerry only had wings until he met you, no roots. You grounded him, you allowed him to open up his heart just like Jane did for me."

Now a steady flow of tears fell from Julia's eyes. John removed the handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to her as he continued. "And Jerry allowed you to find that carefree and lighthearted part of yourself. He gave you your wings just like I did for Jane. We made each other better and happier people just like you and Jerry do for one another. Together you are a perfect fit and not enough of those come along in life to turn your back on the opportunity."

Julia's emotions overwhelmed her and John took her into his arms. "It's all right, my dear. That pain is going to help you find that strength."

A moment later, Julia pulled out of his embrace and dried her eyes again. "If that's the case, then I should be finding it very soon."

John nodded his head and smiled. "I know you will and Jane and I will be here whenever you need us. We are here for both of you."

"Thank you," Julia whispered as she hugged John again.

John cleared his throat. "Now, I had better get back before the circus brigade returns and Jane wonders how long it could possibly take to buy some pipe tobacco."

Her mouth involuntarily curved into a smile. "Good luck on that one."

Julia walked John to the door and he gave her hand one last squeeze before he left. "Please think about what I said. You need those wings just like Jerry needs those roots."

She nodded and watched John as he walked to the elevator. As she closed the door, Julia took a deep breath. She knew that John was right, Jerry had given her wings and over the past several months, it was as though they had been clipped. Now she had to find the strength to fly again. Maybe it was time now to ask Jillian to add that to her nightly wishes to the angels.

Monday, October 8, 2001
J & J Jacks -- 10:45am

Julia shifted her files under her arm as she walked into the main entrance way of the office. After greeting Connie, Julia put down her files and walked straight back to Jerry's office suite.

Francesca looked up from her notes as she heard approaching footsteps. "Good Morning Mrs. Jacks."

"Morning Francesca," Julia said with a smile. "I was wondering what time you expect Mr. Jacks' plane to arrive."

Francesca cleared her throat before responding. "I'm sorry, Mrs. Jacks, but there has been a change in Mr. Jacks' schedule. Some problems have developed in Beijing and he has had to make an unexpected stop there to handle the situation."

"I see." A deep sigh was expelled from Julia's lips. "Thank you Francesca."

She looked up at Julia. "Mrs. Jacks, he was in a rush when he called but I'm sure he will check in again when it gets later in the day there."

Julia gave her an appreciative smile. "We'll see, but thank you."

Francesca took a sharp intake of air as she watched Julia disappear down the hall. She could not help noticing that Julia had lost the slight bounce in her step that had been there just a minute before. Francesca shook her head in frustration as she wondered when and if Jerry and Julia would ever resolve whatever was tearing each of them apart in front of her eyes.

Julia walked by the door to Jax's office suite and down the hall toward her own office and then suddenly turned around and headed back down the corridor. She entered Jax's office suite and saw Addie's desk empty. Jax's door was open and Julia then knocked on the outside of the door frame.

Jax motioned to her with his right hand. "Come on in."

"Good morning," Julia murmured as she moved into the office. "Have you spoken to Dennis yet?"

"Morning." Jax said as he offered Julia a cup of coffee. "Yes, I just got off the phone with him and he is satisfied with the quarterly performance of the Met Fund securities. Were you satisfied with the meeting?"

Julia nodded her head. "Yes, Dennis and I shared the same thoughts on the current numbers and the projections for the fourth quarter."

Jax took a sip of his coffee. "Good, that takes care of that."

She sat down in the chair in front of the desk. "How was Brenda this morning? Is her back any better?"

Jax tapped his fingers on the desk . "She says she is better but somehow I still managed to convince her to stay home today and have Keesha and Gina come there rather than Brenda going to the office."

"That must have been some feat," Julia said with a knowing look.

"It was," Jax said as he rolled his eyes slightly. "As additional inducement, I recruited Lois to help me by asking Brenda if Brooke could stay at the house this afternoon after school while Anthony had a doctor's appointment."

Julia sat back in her chair. "Whatever works."

"Dealing with your sister often requires all the troops I can gather," Jax responded as he softly laughed. "Since Brooke has a school holiday tomorrow and Jillian has no school on Tuesdays, Lois is keeping Jillian for the night. I know Brenda will be in the office tomorrow so at least she will have a quiet evening and should be able to get some rest."

"Sounds like a plan to me." Julia could not help noticing the blinding love that shined from Jax's eyes at even the mere mention of Brenda's name. This morning it seemed even more powerful than usual.

Jax nodded. "She's been so wrapped up with this Ball for Kanga's Kradle and tying up all the loose ends at the office and at Jacks' Cosmetics before she starts her leave in two weeks. It's no wonder her back rebelled against her over the past four days."

"Well, hopefully the three days in bed allowed her to get the rest she needs to get through the homestretch with this Ball." She took a sip of her coffee. "We all know how much this means to her."

A radiant smile appeared on Jax's face. "I know it does and I couldn't be prouder of her or love her more for it."

Julia returned his smile but there was more than a trace of almost sadness in her words. "That's wonderful."

Jax immediately picked up on the melancholy in Julia's eyes and in her voice. "Julia, are you all right?"

"That's a relative question these days," she answered as a soft sigh escaped from her lips.

He looked across the desk at her and speculated on the cause of her mood. "You heard about Jerry's emergency trip to Asia?"

Her voice was filled with emotion. "Yes...but not from him." Her voice lowered to just above a whisper. "Then I just get upset with myself because I have no right to expect him to tell me anything."

Jax rose from his seat and walked over to the door and closed it. He then sat down in the chair next to Julia. "Have you asked yourself if this is only about the fact that Jerry's away and did not call you or if his destination point is the real problem here?"

"You mean the fact that he will be with Teddi?" Julia swallowed the lump which has just formed in her throat. "I don't really know. Maybe a little bit of both."

"That's sounds like an honest answer." Jax's twinkling blue eyes met Julia's melancholy pools of sapphire. "I think that's a start."

"Can I ask you something, Jax?" Her words exuded emotion. "If it is too painful or none of my business, please just tell me and I won't bring it up again."

He gave her a comforting smile. "Ask."

Julia took a deep breath. "When you and Brenda were struggling so much, did you ever believe it was too late or impossible to get back what you had?"

The expression in Jax's eyes seemed to change and Julia instantly kicked herself for bringing up the subject. Before Jax could make a sound she got up from her chair. "I'm sorry, that was terribly selfish of me to bring up."

"Don't go," Jax replied as he grabbed Julia's hand and motioned for her to sit down. "The answer to your question is an emphatic no." His face displayed a serious look of contemplation. "Not for one moment did I ever believe we would lose what we had together. We had already lost Jamie and that enough for ten lifetimes, I certainly could not fathom losing anything else, especially Brenda."

Jax leaned his elbow against the arm of the chair as he continued. "There were moments though when I was not sure how long we would be able to survive before we found our way back. I was so concerned about Brenda, she was losing herself and that just couldn't happen. And it didn't. She pulled herself out, day by day, inch by inch, moment by moment. We both found a place where we could live with what had happened, it would never be acceptable or make any sense but it was no longer capable of destroying us."

Julia shook her head in incredulity. "To this day, I don't know how either of you ever did it."

"We found a way because we had too much riding on it to do otherwise." Jax threaded his fingers through his hair. "There really was no choice."

An expression mixed with happiness and yearning appeared on Julia's face. "And now look at the two of you and where you are."

"It's been almost two years and we knew on that day that things would never be the same again." Jax was speaking as much to himself as he was to Julia. "They're not, they never will be but that does not mean they can't bring their own form of joy."

Julia nodded. "All of you are going to experience that joy very soon again."

"In my heart and in my head, I know we will." His voice was confident and strong. "Even with everything we have to worry about, I'm convinced of it and have been for months." Jax's voice then trailed off a bit. "But Brenda and I are different about this."

Jax continued to vocalize his thoughts "Part of her is still expecting the bottom to drop out and that's just the way it has to be for now, maybe for always. When the time comes, her heart will enable her to hope and dream. Brenda just needs a little help right now and when she finds the answer some day, it will happen. But until then, Brenda has found a way to keep those fears from suffocating her."

Julia took a deep breath. "That can't be easy for you to watch."

"Brenda can only feel what her own heart tells her to feel." Jax turned to Julia and look directly at her as he spoke. "If we trust our hearts, then following them is all any of us can do."

Julia was well aware that Jax's final statement was directed at both of their situations. "I know you believe that."

"I bet somewhere inside yourself you do as well." Jax cocked his head and gazed intently at Julia. "You just have to want to find it and then be ready to listen when you do."

Julia sighed and then patted Jax's hand as she rose from her chair. "Thank you for listening and for the insight."

"Anytime, Julia." Jax walked her to the door. "The bottom line is, hearts don't lie, only people do."

Julia nodded and flashed Jax a small smile as she left the office suite. He took a deep breath as he walked back to his desk. Jax sat down in his chair and immediately swiveled it in order to reach the briefcase on the credenza behind the desk. He reached inside the top pocket and pulled out the small black and white photograph which had been taken the week before.

A beaming smile filled his entire face as Jax moved the chair around and looked at the two tiny images on the photograph. There they were in front of him, two perfect little angels at twenty-four weeks. After some prodding, the notoriously shy angel had even allowed them a peak before returning to its favorite game of hide and go seek. While "Bashful" was making its cameo appearance on stage, "Spotlight," the angel who was constantly on center stage, put in its bid for the dramatic by sucking its thumb.

As he looked at the images, Jax remembered immediately thinking as the ultra sound was being performed that the twins were both true Jackses already. They barely weighed a pound each but the little angels were already in competition with one another even before they were born. They would have ample opportunities to show-off over the next three months since Dr. Meadows had ordered ultrasounds every other week from now on so that she could better monitor the twins and the placenta. Jax could not wait for the show.

As he took one final look at the photograph before placing it down on the desk, Jax could not suppress the huge grin from forming on his lips. His heart was so full of love and peace and assurance, he and Brenda were going to come home with two beautiful little angels. Again last night, Jax's dreams had revealed the images. A few months from now Jax knew that he was going to be holding both babies at the bedroom window in order to show his and Brenda's angels their first snowflakes. His heart had told him that countless times over the past several months and as Jax had told Julia, "Hearts don't lie."

The Jacks Residence -- 6:45pm

Jax came into the house and was met by nothing more than an empty foyer. The house was not silent, however, as the sound of music and giggling could be heard from the den. He followed the clamor down the hallway into the den. There he found Jillian and Brooke on the floor eating popcorn and watching a Shirley Temple movie while Brenda was laying on the couch talking on the phone and taking down notes.

Brenda waved at him and then Jillian saw Jax and jumped up from the rug and ran over to him. "Daddy, we're watching Shirley."

"I see that," Jax said as he lifted Jillian into his arms and kissed both of her cheeks.

Brooke looked up at him. "And eating popcorn too, Uncle Jax."

"I see that too." Jax put Jillian down and walked over to Brooke. "I hear there is no school tomorrow for you."

Brooke nodded. "No school so Jillian gets to sleep at my house."

"That's right and as soon as the movie's over, I will take you both over there." Jax grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bowl.

Jillian smiled as she took a sip of her juice. "Mommy got my clothes and my sleeping bag all ready."

"Good." He returned Jillian's smile. "Did you have a good time with Brooke this afternoon?"

Jillian bobbed her head up and down. "We did puzzles and played on the swings and ate spaghetti and meatballs. And now Shirley is on but her name's Molly in the movie."

Jax looked at the screen and saw that "Our Little Girl" was this evening's feature presentation. "I see Molly. And there are her parents."

Brooke sighed. "The man who lives in the park had to tell her Mommy and Daddy to be nice and not yell."

"Yes, he did." Jax winked at Brooke as he spoke. "We all should remember that."

Jillian touched the middle of her chest. "I remember, no yelling."

"Me too," replied Brooke. "Even if Anthony breaks my baby doll again."

Jax laughed as he tweaked both Jillian and Brooke's noses. "Good girls. Now you can watch the end of the movie." He got up and walked over to the couch just as Brenda was finishing her call with Alan about the Ball.

She flashed Jax a lopsided grin. "Hello honey."

"Hey there, sweetie," Jax replied as he kissed her softly on the lips. "How are you feeling?"

"Certainly better enough for more of a kiss than that. I promise you I'm not going to break." She then placed her hands on Jax's face and pulled him into a tender, lingering kiss. When their lips parted, Brenda softly moaned. "That's more like it."

Jax rolled his eyes as he caressed her face. "Does this mean you are feeling better?"

Brenda pulled up her legs so that Jax could sit at the other end of the couch. "Yes, I'm much better today."

Jax took Brenda's legs and laid them on top of his lap. "Are you sure?"

Brenda sat up a bit and took Jax's hand. "I'm fine. Really."

"I just don't ever want to see you as miserable as you were four days ago." Jax interlocked his fingers with hers. "You didn't sleep for two days."

Brenda squeezed his hand. "But I'm fine now." She then took a deep breath and moved her free hand to her stomach. "Well, fine for a human pinball machine that is."

Jax's lips turned up into a smile. "Play time again?"

"Most definitely." Brenda rubbed her stomach. "They're always raring to go at this time of the evening."

Jax massaged her foot as he spoke. "Did you have a productive day?"

"Very but I will happy when the day of the Ball is finally here." She then pushed a loose curl from her face and looked up at Jax. "Serafina called to see how we are and to again thank us for sending the flowers and champagne we sent after the Venice concert."

A bright smile appeared on his face. "Have she and Augustin come down from cloud nine after those rave reviews?"

"I hope not," Brenda replied with a happy sigh. "Those reviews were extraordinary and Serafina promised to send us the CD once they get the preliminary release."

"Even Thao had to admit that Augustin was even more magnificent than usual," Jax responded with a chuckle.

"That's what love does." Brenda beamed in contentment. "Now Augustin is singing to Serafina when he is on stage. And when Serafina performs, the harp's strings echo the songs in her heart."

"I know the feeling," Jax murmured as he squeezed Brenda's hand again. "I'm just glad they found one another."

The music for the closing credits of the movie began playing and Jillian turned around. "Mommy, it's all done."

Brenda nodded. "Okay, I'll rewind it while you and Brooke make sure all the toys in your room are put back in the toy chest. Then it will be time to go to Aunt Lois and Uncle Ned's house."

"We have to say good night to Lady and Snowflake too," Jillian said as she stood up.

Jax winked at her. "We'll go out through the back yard when we leave so you and Brooke can say good night."

The girls skipped out of the room together and a bright smile appeared on Brenda's face. "They are so close. I hope that never changes."

"They're going to be just like their mothers, friends for life," Jax murmured with a twinkle in his eye.

Brenda cleared her throat. "I guess that means that twenty-five years from now, Brooke will be recruited to keep Jillian home from her office too."

Jax fought to suppress his mirth. "No comment."

"I don't need one, you're so transparent." Brenda rolled her eyes. "Anthony's doctor's appointment and then Jillian spending the night."

Jax smirked. "Neither Brooke nor Jillian have school tomorrow so they're just taking advantage of that."

"Give it up," Brenda responded with a shake of her head. "And all to keep me off my feet because of non-existent back problems." She sighed dramatically. "I remember the days when you plotted to keep me off my feet for much different reasons." Brenda moaned in pleasure. "All those glorious times when we wouldn't leave the bedroom for days."

He chuckled deeply. "You are so bad."

"There's lots more where that came from." Brenda gave him a slow wink. "Much more."

"This from the woman who could barely stand four days ago," Jax replied with a devilish grin.

"What I had in mind does not involve standing erect." Brenda arched her slender right eyebrow as she spoke. "Well, not from me at least."

Jax swatted her leg in mock horror. "What has gotten into you today?"

She had to bite the inside of her mouth to keep from laughing. "NOTHING yet, that's the problem."

He laughed softly as he shook his finger at her. "You're such a naughty girl."

"You love me that way," Brenda murmured with a glint in her eye. "And spending three days in bed doing nothing more energetic than sleeping has made me even more so." She then spoke in a seductive whisper. "Lucky you."

"I think that mischievous side of yours should wait a few more days before unleashing its wiles." Jax cleared his throat. "I'll tell you what, after I come back from taking the girls, we'll have a light supper. Then I'll draw you a bath and afterwards, I'll give you a back rub."

"Sounds like a great start," she replied with a lopsided grin.

Jax shook his head. "Start and end, then you and the twins can go to sleep."

Brenda ignored his comment. "First of all, you know I can't take hot baths now with the pregnancy so you will have to join me in the bathtub to keep me warm."

Jax rolled his eyes. "Oh, I do?"

Brenda nodded her head. "You wouldn't want the three of us getting cold would you?"

"I'll turn up the heat," he quipped in response.

"Why waste money or energy?" She gave him a smug smile. "We are always teaching Jillian not to waste things."

Jax sighed in exasperation. "You and the little angels need your rest."

A sexy grin crossed Brenda's face. "Well, the twins love to be rocked to sleep so I think we should oblige." The tip of her tongue flicked across Brenda's top lip. "A slow, lingering rock to sleep."

Jax could not suppress his grin. "Using all the arsenals tonight in this game, aren't you Aphrodite?"

"Of course, Adonis." Her chocolate brown eyes darkened to almost ebony. "And you love my arsenals."

The sound of Jillian and Brooke's laughter was heard as they came down the stairs and Jax sighed silently in relief. "Half time."

"1-0," she said with a confident smile. "And a whole other arsenal in reserve for the second half. Care to forfeit now?"

Jax laughed out loud. "I don't think so."

"Fine," Brenda answered with a shrug. "I love the game almost as much as the trophy."

Jax shook his head since the thrill of the game was the only reason he had not forfeited before the game had even started. "Well, the trophy is still securely locked away."

A mischievous grin suddenly appeared on Brenda's face as she sat up. When she did, she suddenly dipped her foot in between Jax's legs. Her toes quickly found their target and the sound of Jax's sharp intake of air was heard simultaneously with her toes' perception of the standing salute of the game trophy.

Her eyes danced with victory. "I think the trophy has been awarded."

Jax grabbed Brenda's groping foot. "Aphrodite, you're going to pay for that."

Her response sounded more like a purr than a statement. "God I hope so, Adonis." Brenda batted her long, thick eyelashes. "Let's see, will it be the penalty box tonight or are you going to throw a flag and mark some yardage off ALL OVER me?"

Before Jax could launch his counterattack, the post-game activities were sent into intermission as the girls returned to the den carrying Jillian's sleeping bag and overnight bag. Jax helped Brenda off the couch and the four of them walked to the French door leading to the terrace. Brenda kissed and hugged Jillian and Brooke good-bye and then Jax took the girls out through the back yard so they could say good night to Lady and Snowflake. Brenda watched Jax and the girls until they disappeared down the walk and then she smiled as she watched Snowflake fly to his customary nightly resting place atop the small pine tree. After one last comforting look, Brenda drew the drapes and turned off the VCR and television and headed upstairs to await continuation of the post-game celebration.

Three hours later, Jax and Brenda had shared dinner and a tepid bath and now were both reaping the rewards of the game. Sweet nothings were whispered as trails of kisses nuzzled each inch of burning skin. Moans of pleasure were uttered as tongues moved together in erotic dances. Whimpers of ecstasy were heard as delicate fingers caressed and stroked pleasure zones raging with desire. Lips locked in scintillating blazes of passion their bodies melded together in perfect synchrony.

As they moved together and became one, words of love were murmured. It was a slow and lingering journey as Jax cradled Brenda in his arms while gently rocking her into unbridled rapture. As the bliss overtook her, Jax's name echoed repeatedly from Brenda's lips. When the fires exploded within her, blazes of heat rushed through every inch of Brenda. Her hands gripped Jax's shoulders for what seemed to be her only connection to earth as heaven surrounded her. While Brenda held onto him, Jax tightened his own grip of her as his own ecstasy overtook him. An inferno erupted inside him taking Jax to the same paradise Brenda had found. It had been a celebration of pure love.

Now as the moon shined brightly in the sky, Brenda dozed in his arms. Jax pulled the blanket over her shoulder and placed his arms around her waist again. He rested his chin on her shoulder as Brenda shifted slightly in his grasp. Jax pulled her even deeper into his embrace and whispered to her. "I love you, Aphrodite." Brenda turned her head around and looked up at Jax. "I love you back, Adonis."

Brenda covered Jax's hands with her own and then closed her eyes again as sleep overtook her. Jax tenderly kissed the soft skin behind Brenda's ear and murmured to her. "Dream about our angels." With a smile on his lips, Jax then allowed his own eyes to close to begin his own angelic dreams.

Friday, October 12, 2001
J & J Jacks -- 4:00pm

Julia walked off the elevator with a briefcase and two folders brimming with the financial reports and offering statements from the Harbor Coalition board meeting. She had spent all day in Manhattan at the meeting and come back to the office to unload some of the voluminous materials. Shannon was sitting at the desk in the outer office of the suite as Julia walked into her office suite. Sally had just started her maternity leave the week before so Shannon had temporarily moved into the position as Julia's executive assistant.

Shannon looked up from the computer monitor as Julia entered the office suite. "Hello Mrs. Jacks. I did not expect to see you at all today."

"Hello Shannon," Julia remarked as she approached the desk. "Fortunately, I was able to catch the earlier flight so I decided to come back here to get rid of these files.

She met Julia across the room and took the files from her arms. "I'll take care of these, Mrs. Jacks."

"Thank you very much." Julia put her briefcase down on the chair beside the desk. "Did the stock reports arrive from Met Fund?"

Shannon nodded her head. "Yes, earlier this afternoon. They are on your desk along with your messages and a fax from Computech."

Julia stood in front of Shannon's desk. "Did the stock reports arrive before Mr. Jacks left for the Charles Street meetings?

"Yes, Addie had the copies before Mr. Jacks left this afternoon." Shannon looked down to double-check the distribution list. "And I made sure copies had also been sent to Mr. Burns and to Mr. Baldwin and to the other Mr. Jacks."

A soft sigh escaped from Julia's lips. "That's fine. Mr. Jacks will have them when he returns to town.

"Mr. Jacks has the reports now." Shannon cleared her throat slightly before continuing. "He was in his office when I brought them to Francesca."

Julia's stomach suddenly performed a somersault. "Mr. Jacks has returned from Beijing?"

"Yes," Shannon replied with bob of her head. "He arrived about an hour ago I believe."

As she walked toward her office, Julia spoke in a low voice. "Thank you Shannon."

Julia nervously ran both hands through her hair as she sat down at her desk. She picked up her phone messages but had trouble concentrating long enough to read the names. The stock reports looked like a series of jumbled numbers as the knots in her stomach seem to be tightening more as each moment passed. Julia put her head in her hands as she moaned aloud at the current state of her emotions.

It had been two weeks since she and Jerry had last seen each other at Jillian's party. They had barely met each other's eyes, let alone communicated that evening. Jerry had left two days later for Australia and the detour to Asia had given Julia more time to try to begin to sort out the numerous issues confronting their relationship as well as each of them personally. Julia had spent the past week thinking and she had no answers except to know that John was correct in his speculation that she was miserable. She was that and more and that fact was not going to change without some activity on her part.

Now, however, faced with the news that Jerry was on the other side of the office, Julia felt as if she were drowning. Her head was throbbing and her heart was racing and Julia did not think she could string a coherent sentence together even if she knew what she wanted to say. She didn't and that was one of the biggest hurdles before Julia at this moment. She did not even know where to begin with Jerry. But most importantly, Julia had no idea if Jerry had any interest in anything she could possibly have to say to him. Had too much damage already occurred? Could the pain seen deep within Jerry's eyes ever vanish?

Julia shuddered at the mental image of the anguish which Jerry's eyes had displayed for months. The vision of the pain within those gray-blue pools continued to be a source of constant torment for Julia. She remembered how the glimmer in Jerry's eyes had captivated her from the first moment. It had been so long since Julia had seen that gleam and she wondered if there could ever be enough joy again to overtake the pain which now resided in Jerry's eyes.

As her musings focused on the fact that Jerry was only a short distance away from her, Julia's stomach flip-flopped again. She tried to calm down her breathing as panic set in. That only served to exasperate her even more and Julia admonished herself for being paralyzed at the thought of being in the same room with Jerry. It was becoming a familiar pattern for Julia. For the first time in her life, Julia was afraid to trust her own feelings and her own mind. It felt as if each decision, no matter how great or how small, was comparable to teetering on a cliff. Once false thought would be the end.

Her hands began shaking and the sight of the tremors caused Julia to bolt up from her seat. She could not stay there and hide for another second without losing her sanity. Julia's legs managed to carry out of her office and she took deep breaths as she moved by Shannon's desk. Thankfully, the hall was clear and somehow Julia found herself entering Jerry's office suite. There was no sign of Francesca in the outer office but Jerry's door was wide open.

Julia folded her arms against her chest almost as if to keep her rapidly beating heart within her chest. She finally remembered she had to breathe and a deep burst of air was expelled from her lungs. Julia somehow managed to pry her feet from the carpet and walk over to the doorway. She swallowed the lump in her throat and tried to find her composure. A moment later, Julia finally found the nerve to tap her knuckles against the outer door frame and then poke her head into the office.

And the result of Julia's endeavors was that she found an empty, quiet office. Julia's right hand grasped the door frame for support. It felt as though every ounce of strength that Julia had ever possessed had just been expended to find nothing but emptiness. Was it a sign? Julia could not help but think that it was just that -- a sign of the emptiness and silence which her life now seemed to embrace.

The silence was interrupted by the sound of his voice behind her. "Julia."

Julia heard a gasp fall from her lips but somehow she managed to turn around to see Jerry standing a few feet in front of her. She then found her voice. "Hello Jerry."

"Hello." The expression on his face was not readable. "I thought you'd still be in Manhattan at the Coalition meetings."

Julia moved to the side as to not block the pathway into the office. "I just got back a few minutes ago and Shannon said you were in the office."

As he spoke, Jerry walked into his office. "I have the reports Shannon gave to Francesca if that's what you're here about. Once I've had the chance to look over them, I'll talk to Jax about the projections over the weekend."

"Okay," Julia murmured as took a few steps inside the office. "We'll deal with it next week."

As the sight of Julia's movement into the office, Jerry moved behind the desk. "Fine."

Julia sighed under her breath as she realized how much physical distance Jerry had put between them. "Did everything work out in Asia?"

"Yes, it did," Jerry replied in response but then immediately looked down at the reports on his desk.

"That's good to hear." Julia felt her heart ache at the sight of the walls Jerry was building around himself.

Jerry felt his resolve slipping as he fought off the conflicting feelings in his mind and heart. He had not prepared himself to see her. He cleared his throat. "Is there anything else?"

Julia bit the inside of her lip to maintain her composure as she shook her head. "No, there isn't. I'll let you get back to what you need to do."

A moment later she had disappeared and Jerry felt his fingernails digging into the skin of his left palm. He unclenched his fingers and then covered his face with both of his hands. Labored breaths were expelled from his lungs as Jerry's head and heart continued their battle against one another. If he allowed it, his heart would tear down those protective walls faster than his mind could build them. His head was winning but it felt nothing like victory. Victories were to be triumphs celebrated by angels but angels would never exult this.

The Jacks Residence -- 5:15pm

Brenda and Jillian walked out onto the terrace as twilight emerged on the early Autumn evening. The weather for the past two days had been more like those of Indian summer so everyone had been able to enjoy the sunshine before the crisp, cool Autumn days became the norm. Lady bounded up the terrace steps at the sight of Jillian and Brenda.

Jillian giggled as Lady wagged her tail. "I'm coming out, Lady, with my bubbles."

Brenda put down her cup of orange juice and unscrewed the lid to the bottle of bubbles. "Here you go, sweetie."

"Thank you Mommy." Jillian then watched Snowflake fly to the bush beside the terrace. "Mommy, Snowflake's here too."

"I see him," Brenda said with a nod. "Hello Snowflake."

The bird started singing immediately and Jillian smiled. "Hi Snowflake, you and Lady can help me play with my bubbles."

Lady followed Jillian down the steps into the grass as Brenda sat down in one of the double lounge chairs. A few moments later, Lady barked and the French doors then opened. Jax walked out of the house carrying a package. "Here you are."

Brenda flashed him a smile. "Hey, what a nice surprise to have you home this early from the Foundation meetings."

Jax kissed her. "I missed my two princesses and Jerry was not there to get into it with Edward so we finished in record time."

Jillian and Lady came up the steps. "Daddy!" She put her bottle of bubbles on the terrace wall and raced over to Jax. "You're home."

"Yes, I'm home, princess." He hugged Jillian. "Have you been playing outside this afternoon?"

Jillian nodded. "I played in the sandbox and me and Maggie watched Aunt Lois' Shirley movie and then Mommy came home."

Jax winked at her. "Is this one your new favorite Shirley movie?"

Jillian bobbed her head up and down. "Aunt Lois says it's her favorite too. Mommy said she watched it too a long, long time ago." She turned to see Brenda. "Right, Mommy?"

A smile appeared on Brenda's face. "That's right, sweetie, but it's been a very long time. I'll have to watch it with you next time."

Jillian looked up at Jax again. There's a bird just like Snowflake but he's blue."

"A blue bird, how beautiful." He flashed Jillian a big grin.

Jillian moved her hands in an animated fashion as she spoke. "When Shirley looks for the blue bird, she gets to see all the babies in the boats too with the man who has the long white beard."

"The man in the white beard?" Jax gave Jillian a curious look.

"Aunt Lois says he's like an angel and takes care of all the babies until they go home with their mommies and daddies."

Jax looked over at Brenda and saw a faraway look in Brenda's eyes. He then turned back to Jillian. "He takes care of the babies?"

"Uh-huh and he puts the babies in the baby boats and they get to be born." Jillian smiled. "Shirley liked it but she had to go find the blue bird."

He flashed Jillian a huge grin. "Did she find the blue bird?"

Jillian nodded her head. "She looked and looked and she went home and the blue bird was sitting there waiting for her. Shirley was so happy to come home."

Jax glanced at Brenda again and she seemed lost in thought. He then touched Jillian's shoulder. "What a nice story. Aunt Lois is very nice to let you borrow such a special movie."

"I love Aunt Lois." Jillian then pointed at the package in Jax's hand. "What's that, Daddy?"

Jax held up the package. "Uncle Augustin and Aunt Serafina sent us the CD from the concert they had on your birthday. He told me there is something special on it just for you."

She clapped her hands together. "Can we listen?"

"Of course but first let's see what else is in the envelope." He walked over to Brenda and handed the package to her.

Brenda smiled at him and then opened the package. She pulled out the CD and an envelope and then found a small gift wrapped box at the bottom. She smiled as she handed it to Jillian. "This has your name on it."

Jillian squealed as she unwrapped the silver foil paper and found a small blue velvet box. She opened it to find a sterling silver angel charm. "It's a baby angel."

"Oh, it's beautiful and will look so perfect on your bracelet," Brenda exclaimed as she tore open the envelope. "I'll read you what the card says from Uncle Augustin."

Brenda opened the card and started reading it aloud.

Cara Piccola Principessa (Dear Little Princess,)

Zio Augustin (Uncle Augustin)

Brenda smiled as she closed the card. "Such beautiful words and gifts from Uncle Augustin and Aunt Serafina."

Jillian's bright blue eyes twinkled as she looked down at the angel charm again. "Aunt Sera gave me a special present." She held up the box to Lady and Snowflake. "See my pretty angel."

Brenda stroked Jillian's curls. "Angels are very special to Aunt Serafina because she is named for them. Serafina is another way to say angel in the language she speaks, Italian."

"Like Grandmom Gloria talks sometimes," Jillian said with a grin.

Jax nodded as he spoke. "Exactly. And Uncle Augustin speaks and sings in Italian and Mommy can speak some of it too."

"That's why he calls me and Mommy cara," Jillian said with an adorable smile. She then looked at the CD. "Can the music play?"

Jax stroked the skin under Jillian's chin. "You can go play with your bubbles and I'll put the CD in and put on the speakers outside so we all can listen."

"Okay, Daddy!" Jillian then scurried over to pick up her bottle of bubbles. "I'm gonna play bubbles now." She then headed back down the steps into the yard.

Jax watched Brenda looking out into the painted sky. He walked over to her and reached out and touched Brenda's cheek. "Are you okay?"

A soft sigh was expelled from Brenda's lips. "I don't know, I can't put my finger on it."

Jax leaned over and kissed Brenda on the forehead. "I'm here if you need me."

"Like always." Brenda took Jax's hand and brought it to her lips. "Maybe the music will help."

"It usually does." Jax squeezed Brenda's hand and then went inside with the CD. A minute later he returned to the terrace and sat down next to Brenda in the lounge chair. "Augustin sent the list of selections since this is just the preliminary release and the final cover depicting the rebuilt Opera House in Venice is not ready."

The CD began playing and the introductory remarks were made announcing the performance of baritone, Augustin Rubino, with special performances by harpist, Serafina DiVita, and the String Orchestra of Venice. Augustin's voice was then heard as a selection from "The Barbers of Seville" began the performance.

Brenda held Jax's hand against her chest as the music soothed her. When the music ended, Augustin addressed the audience and spoke of a special birthday being celebrated across the Atlantic. He then mentioned Jillian specifically by name and then began singing "Happy Birthday" with the accompaniment of Serafina and the string orchestra.

Jillian heard her name and the song and started beaming. She came up the steps. "Mommy and Daddy, it's my birthday song."

Brenda reached over and stroked Jillian's hand. "We hear it and it's such a wonderful gift from Uncle Augustin. We will call Uncle Augustin tomorrow and thank him.

Jillian began singing along for the final measures of "Happy Birthday" as she walked back down the terrace steps. Jax looked over at Brenda as she seemed engulfed in her thoughts once again. His expression became serious and Jax could not help himself from running his fingers through her hair.

Brenda was pulled from her reflective thoughts at the feel of Jax's loving and gentle touch. "I'm sorry that I'm worrying you."

"Don't," Jax responded as he cupped Brenda's left cheek. "I love you."

"I know." She took a deep breath. "I'm just thinking about my session with Melanie."

Jax took her hand again. "What happened?"

"The dream." She exhaled sharply. "Everything's all scrambled but today with Melanie, I could almost see everything in my dreams. It's right there but I can't grab it."

Jax grasped her hand tightly. "What did Melanie say?"

"The same thing you always tell me, I can't force it." Her breath caught in her throat. "But I want to see it, I need to see it."

"You will, baby." Jax wiped away a tear which had crept from the corner of Brenda's eye. "I know it's hard but when it happens, it's going to be perfect and beautiful and something you will remember forever."

A smile brightened Brenda's face. "Again, you know just what to say to me."

Jillian began twirling around the yard with her bubbles and Lady chased her around in circles. As Brenda and Jax laughed at her, Augustin's voice was again heard as he introduced Serafina to the audience. In her native Italian tongue, Serafina dedicated the concerto she and the string orchestra were about to perform to Jax and Brenda and their future. Dio guarda tutti (God is watching over you all.)

Brenda smiled and rested her head against Jax's shoulder. The celestial sound of the harp began and the music immediately washed a sea of tranquillity over Brenda. As the music continued, her mind filled with familiar visions. They were haphazard at first but then suddenly came in a coherent stream. She immediately recognized the images as segments from her dream. Brenda closed her eyes in an attempt to finally unravel the mystery behind her dream.

Against the enchanted tones of the divine melody, Brenda gasped out loud. As she sprung up from the chair, Jax heard his own breath catch. "Brenda, what is it?"

"I remembered." Brenda clenched her fists together as she echoed her last statement. "I saw them."

Jax gripped her shoulders. "What? Tell me."

Her words came out in a jumble. "The babies. Jimmy, he had them. He was taking care of them." She brought her hands to her face. "It's just like the movie."

Jax removed Brenda's hands from her face in an effort to help her focus. She was breathing so hard she was almost panting. "Slow down, baby. You saw Jimmy Martin?"

Brenda nodded her head. "Jax, I've been thinking about him so much and now I know why. He's watching over the babies until them come home. Just like the angel in `The Blue Bird.' Jimmy told me he would take care of them for me. And then.."

Jax felt a lump forming in his own throat. "And then what? What else, sweetie?"

A tear trickled down Brenda's face. "Jimmy said Jamie was watching over us until the babies came home. And when the babies came home, it would be on the wings of an angel amidst the first snow."

Jax felt his heart skip two beats as the images of his habitual dream flooded his thoughts. The twins had just come home and Brenda was sitting up in bed with a look of such joy on her face that his heart felt as though it would stop. She was watching him stand at the window in the master suite showing the twins their first snowflakes. Jax had never said one word about his dreams to Brenda and he was momentarily overwhelmed with the emotions running through him.

A moment later as the last third of the concerto played in the background, Jax found his voice. "Brenda, that's my dream. We're all home and your watching me show the twins their first snowflakes through the bedroom window."

Brenda collapsed into Jax's embrace almost numb from the events of the last few minutes. She was able to focus enough to hear Jillian giggling uncontrollably as she blew bubbles into the air for Lady to pop with her mouth. It was then that Brenda could finally focus on the sound behind her of Snowflake's lilting. She had not discerned that the bird had begun singing again and when she realized why, streams of tears poured from her eyes.

She immediately pulled back from Jax's embrace and covered her mouth with her hands. "Oh my God."

At the same moment, everything became clear to Jax. The words involuntarily fell from his lips. "On the wings of an angel."

As the final sounds of Serafina's heavenly harp came through the speaker, Snowflake's singing paralleled each and every note. It was the same melody they had been serenaded with from the first moment Brenda had returned from Carmel where the twins had been conceived. The serenading had begun even before the twins' existence was known to Jax or Brenda but the angels had known what love had created on that journey. And they had all been watched over from that moment.

Brenda reached over and grabbed the list of selections Augustin had included with the CD. Her hands started to shake as she read the title of the concerto Serafina had dedicated to them. "It's `Lyra Angelica,' meaning `Angel's Harp.' Jamie's been watching over all of us from the start."

Jax pulled Brenda into his embrace again and they both held on with every ounce of strength they had. They could feel each other's racing hearts against their chests but Jax and Brenda could also sense the surges of love and serenity which cascaded through each of them. Brenda heard her breath catch again as she watched Snowflake flutter his wings and then glide over to the top of the pine tree.

Jillian came up the terrace steps and watched them. "Mommy and Daddy, why are you crying?"

Brenda moved away from Jax's embrace and extended her arms to Jillian. "Come here, sweetheart."

Jillian climbed between both of them. "Mommy, are you sad?"

"No, baby, we're not sad." She hugged Jillian against her chest. "We're just happy that all the angels are here taking care of us."

A cherubic smile appeared on Jillian's face. "Oh, yes, they're here. The angels even fly in my head so I see them when I'm sleeping." Jillian sighed in contentment. "Mommy, they really like the snow."

"We know, baby, we know," Brenda whispered as she nodded through her tears and clung to Jillian. Jax wrapped his arms around all of his earthly angels as multitudes of heavenly angels hovered around them in jubilation. At this moment, angels were truly among us all.

AUTHOR'S NOTE #1: This chapter has been in progress for several months and has become collaboration between a few of the story's readers and myself. I have incorporated suggestions/information from Aimee, Barbara and Randie to my original outline and together the efforts have provided the central theme of this chapter. I am crossing my fingers in hopes that I was able to successfully pull this off and turn a variety of unrelated ideas into a flowing body of work. I would truly appreciate feedback from all of you on this one and I want to thank Aimee, Barbara and Randie for all their efforts. Their contributions have proven to be invaluable . :-)

AUTHOR'S NOTE #2: Thank you Aimee for helping to educate me on the charms of Shirley Temple and her extensive motion picture career. Aimee originally suggested the possible use of references from "The Blue Bird" plotline for Circle of Love.

AUTHOR'S NOTE #3: For those who are fans of figure skating (especially of Michelle Kwan) the William Alwyn concerto for Harp and String Orchestra entitled, "Lyra Angelica," was the classical music piece used by Michelle Kwan in her long program for the 1998 competitive season, including Nationals, the Olympics and the World Championships. Thank you to Barbara for helping me to research the classical piece and for also providing me with the refresher lessons in Italian for this chapter, especially providing me the perfect name of Serafina .

AUTHOR'S NOTE #4: Beyond her standard tireless efforts at proofreading and cracking the whip at times to keep me motivated, a tremendous thank you to Randie for helping me develop the idea of Snowflake so many months ago. I could never put into words the full extent of my appreciation.