Monday, December 17, 2001
J & J Jacks -- 5:15pm

Julia stopped in the doorway to her office suite as she heard the sound of Jerry and Tron's laughter echoing down the corridor. Tron was cheering in front of the raceway game as he watched the speedometer near the maximum speed. Teddi and Tron had arrived in Port Charles yesterday on their way to Switzerland. Teddi was spending two days in the office before heading to Geneva to spend the holidays with her sister's family. Tron had arrived at the office a few minutes before and Jerry had been demonstrating his expertise on all the amusements in the game room.

After a few moments, Julia walked back into her office and eased herself onto the couch. Julia let out a jagged sigh as she rested her head against the soft leather. She hated the anxiety that she was feeling. It had been a good few days, but suddenly Julia was experiencing apprehension again. She and Jerry had even been able to share a pleasant lunch together on Saturday. They had run into one another Christmas shopping at the toy shop in the waterfront emporium and then had walked down the block to have lunch at Cafe Matise. Their conversation had centered on the office and the holidays and Jillian's foot long wish list that was growing by the hour. They had not delved into any serious issues but Julia had been encouraged that they had both seemed much more comfortable in each other's company.

Now, Julia felt the anxiety returning. Teddi was around and Jerry was completely at ease with her but Julia realized her fears about Teddi were just as much about Tron as they were about Jerry and Teddi's past together. Julia had finally admitted to herself just how much it hurt to hear Jerry joining in the laughter of a child. Jerry was still the biggest kid Julia knew and something changed in him around children and that was still the hardest obstacle for Julia to face. Tron brought out something in Jerry, just like Jillian had done from the beginning, and Julia had to face the panic and self doubt that fact caused in her. She had to find a way to stop running from that before they could realistically even think about a future together.

The sound of Tron's euphoric laughter reverberated through the air. Julia then heard Tron speak of going home with Jax to see Jillian and spending the night while his mother went out. Julia's stomach suddenly tightened as she wondered if Jerry was going to be Teddi's escort. A deep sigh fell from Julia's lips as she internally acknowledged that thanks to her unilateral actions, she currently had no vote in connection with Jerry's plans or his decisions. Even with Julia's concession of that fact, it did not mean that the images in her head hurt any less.

Julia covered her eyes with her right hand and took a deep breath as she leaned against the back of the couch again. She could not allow her trepidation to paralyze her, Julia knew that she had to start changing what she could in her life and start accepting those things that she could not. It was moments like this that Julia wondered how she could ever learn to do either. She took another deep breath and then opened her eyes at the sound of Teddi's voice.

"Julia, I'm sorry." Teddi stopped after taking one foot inside the office. "I wanted to give you the third quarter reports and Sally was away from her desk."

She automatically sat up. "Thank you Teddi, I'll look them over and get back to you."

"Just let me know when you want to discuss them." Teddi walked a few steps into the office. "The flight is not until seven-thirty so I'll be available all day tomorrow."

"I'll do that," Julia said with a slight nod. "I'll be here for awhile so I will get them done this evening."

"Would it be better for us to do this tonight?" She hesitated a moment. "I could change my plans."

Although her emotions were imploring her to take Teddi up on her offer, Julia stopped herself from asking Teddi to cancel her plans for the evening. "No, tomorrow will be fine."

"Are you sure?" Teddi cleared her throat. "I can stay."

Julia shook her head. "No, that's not necessary." She took a deep breath. "Have a wonderful evening before you leave town tomorrow. I know how much Jillian is looking forward to seeing Tron again."

"He is anxious to see Jillian as well," Teddi responded with a smile. "Unfortunately his only cousins moved to Geneva last year so Tron does not get the chance to see them as much as he would like. In fact, he has not even met the newest addition to my sister's family."

Julia felt her stomach tightening again as she struggled a bit to respond. "So Tron has a new baby cousin to meet?"

"No, Teddi murmured with a shake of her head. "Kurt just turned two last month. Mai-Ling and Franz adopted him about three months ago." Teddi's voice reflected her surprise. "I thought Jerry had told you that my sister and her husband have adopted all three of their children."

The room suddenly felt as though it was caving in on Julia. All Julia could imagine was Jerry discussing her infertility problems with Teddi and the air seemed to be quickly vanishing from the room. Julia's tone became agitated. "No, Jerry didn't. I guess he never got around to telling me that my situation was a topic of conversation between the two of you."

Teddi instantly became unsettled at Julia's tone. "Julia, I'm sorry. Have I said something to upset you?"

Julia felt her jaw clench as she stared at Teddi in amazement. "Sorry, but I don't seem to share Jerry's need to discuss my infertility issues with you."

"No, Julia," Teddi stammered in anguish. "That wasn't what I....I had no idea. I can't apologize enough for what that must have sounded like."

"Please don't." All Julia wanted to do at this moment was to crawl under a rock. "I owe you the apology, Teddi. I'm sorry, I just thought you and Jerry..."

She stopped Julia's lament. "I didn't know and I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for Teddi." Julia rubbed her temple. "I overreacted which is nothing out of the ordinary of late."

Teddi waved her hand in the air. "Julia, don't even think about it. We'll forget it ever happened and I'll just go."

"I think it's a little late for that." Julia sighed deeply as she looked up at Teddi. "Would you sit down for a few minutes?"

"Of course." Teddi sat down on the chair next to the sofa.

Julia swallowed the lump forming in her throat. "Again, I'm sorry. I wrongly presumed that you knew." She took a sharp intake of air. "It's been a year since we've known and I'm still struggling with it."

"Julia, there's no need to apologize. I'm just sorry for everything you've been through." Teddi gave her a reassuring smile. "If you want to talk, I'm here. I'm not meeting Thao for dinner until seven but I can call and cancel."

The second wave of guilt in the past two minutes hit Julia as she now knew that Teddi was not joining Jerry for dinner but rather Thao who was in New York for business this week. "I truly appreciate the offer but I don't want you to cancel your plans."

"Okay, Teddi answered as she patted Julia's hand. "I'm available now though."

"Thank you." A jagged sigh escaped from Julia's lips. "I'm still trying to get used to talking about it."

Teddi nodded her head in understanding. "If you don't mind me asking, does that include talking about it with Jerry?"

"Yes, more so than anyone." Julia wrung her hands together. "The past year has been very rough and I have made some terrible mistakes." Her voice became a quiet whisper. "Some awful mistakes and now I'm trying to rectify them if at all possible."

"It's possible," Teddi replied with a nod. "Don't let anyone tell you otherwise."

Julia chewed on her bottom lip. "There's only one person I'm worried about."

"I understand but I think you'll figure out what you need to do." Teddi's mouth curved into an involuntary smile. "I never knew what you were going through but I certainly have known how much Jerry loves you."

Julia's eyes widened as she spoke. "You have?" She looked across at Teddi. "To be honest, before you came into this office, that would have been the last thing I would have ever expected to hear from you."

"To be equally as honest, until a few months ago, I would have never expected to be saying anything of the kind when it came to Jerry Jacks." Teddi leaned back in her chair. "The past colors our views at times."

"I understand that first hand now," Julia murmured in response.

"Now, the past seems as though it was several lifetimes ago." Teddi's eyes met Julia's. "Jerry's not the same person, none of us are."

Julia nervously fiddled with a strand of her hair. "Sometimes I wonder if he wishes he was."

Teddi shook her head. "I doubt it. I know I don't." She seemed to be lost in thought and then began speaking again. "Those were some very difficult times."

Suddenly Julia felt disconcerted once again. "I'm sorry if my ramblings brought up some unpleasant memories."

"You shared something with me, so I want to do the same." Teddi exhaled sharply. "You are struggling with the problems associated with infertility, I was doing the same in the past but it wasn't my own infertility, it was my sister's."

A bewildered look crossed Julia's face. "Your sister's?"

"Yes, there was an accident." Teddi's voice wavered a bit as she spoke. "I was twenty, Mai was sixteen and we were living in Italy. It was right before I was going to leave for the Fall term at the university and I wanted to drive her into the mountains for the afternoon. It started to rain and this curve came....." Teddi shook her head as she proceeded. "I didn't have a scratch but Mai..."

Julia felt her breath catch in her throat. "Teddi, I'm so sorry."

"All she ever talked about from the time she was seven years old was having a house full of children. We were so different in that regard, I had never even given the idea of children any thought yet."

Teddi took a deep breath to maintain her composure. "They told us she would never recover. Mai had her life planned out and then everything changed that day. For all of us."

"But she did." Now it was Julia's turn to flash the comforting smile. "How is she now?"

Teddi blinked back the lone tear which threatened to creep from the corner of her right eye. "Mai's extraordinary. She never lets anything stop her, not the residual pain nor the lasting effects of all her injuries." She tightly grasped the arm of the leather chair. "It wasn't as easy for me."

"I'm sorry." Julia's shoulders lowered as she sighed. "But you got through it eventually."

"Yes, after years of burying it." Teddi tucked a strand of her sable colored hair behind her ear. "First it was Mai's months in the hospital and then months in rehabilitation. Then I went back to the university and then onto Oxford and avoided it all. After that, I did whatever I could to stay away from Rome to avoid seeing the anguish I knew that would be in Mai's eyes."

Julia shuddered a bit at that thought. "I know what that feels like."

"That's where I was when I met Jerry and it never changed until after I met Tsao a few years later and the issue of having a family arose." Teddi took a sharp intake of air. "Then I had to admit to myself that a part of me hoped that I would never be able to have children. In some twisted way of thinking, it seemed the only thing just."

A ragged sigh escaped from Julia's lips. "Oh, Teddi."

"It was pretty miserable and I would never have gotten through it without Tsao and my sister. But it had only gotten somewhat better when I found out I was pregnant with Tron. Mai had already married Franz and they were living in Germany and I could not even tell her." Teddi paused for a moment and then continued. "I didn't for months and when Mai unexpectedly arrived in Beijing and saw me, she was livid at me for treating her like a child and for being afraid to be happy. She refused to be used as the scapegoat for my feeling sorry for myself."

"Well, from my own experience, sisters have been known to point out the obvious." Julia rolled her eyes slightly. "Whether we are ready to hear it or not."

Teddi bobbed her head up and down. "That's Mai. When I told her I felt as I did because she was meant to be a mother, Mai said she was still going to be." A big smile then covered Teddi's face. "And she is, one of the best I have ever known. Now she has three chosen gifts, a five year old boy and his four year old sister from Shanghai and Kurt who they finally were able to adopt from Germany. Mai says she knows now that she and Franz were put on this earth to be parents to children who were born to others who were unable to be."

Julia exhaled slowly. "That's quite an outlook."

"That's my sister," Teddi whispered as she dabbed a tear which had spilled down her cheek. "My honorable grandfather always told us that life is a series of tests and once one is passed, the next one is just waiting for you. You have to be ready." Teddi paused a moment before she continued. "Mai was at the top of the class on that lesson, I am a slow learner."

"So am I." Julia looked directly at Teddi. "Maybe we can check in with one another once in awhile to see how things are going?"

Teddi's face brightened. "I'd like that."

"As would I," Julia returned her smile and then looked at her watch. "But I have taken up enough of your time for today. Thank you but you should go enjoy your evening with Thao."

Teddi stood up from her chair. "Thank you, I will." The sound of rapid footsteps in the outer office were then heard. "First I think I had better tie up a five year old."

Julia walked Teddi to the outer office and she shook her head at the glimpse of Jerry chasing Tron down the hall. "First, you need to tie up a forty year old."

Both women laughed and Jerry turned around to see them standing at the door with their arms folded against their chests. He did not know if he was more surprised at seeing the two women together in general or more surprised to see the identical stance both had.

Tron then scurried over to Teddi. He started speaking between giggles and pointed to Jerry. "You're in trouble."

Jerry glared as he looked down at Tron. "This is a partnership, kid, we are in trouble in this pagoda."

Teddi spoke up. "Not in this pagoda. Tron was right, you are in trouble."

Tron started giggling even louder and both Julia and Teddi began laughing.

"I think you have this situation quite under control so I will leave you to it and talk to you in the morning." Julia turned to walk back into her office. "Have a good evening."

"You too, Julia," Teddi responded with a smile. She then turned back to Jerry and Tron. "Now about you two..."

Tron then saw Jax waving at him. "I have to get my bag, it's time to go to Jillian's." Tron then disappeared around the corner to get his overnight bag.

Jerry was still looking between the door to Julia's office and Teddi as he was quite perplexed at what had transpired before him. Until very recently, Julia had a hard time even hearing Teddi's name in conversation and now they seemed like friends. Sometimes he wondered if he had been knocked once too often in the head.

He finally turned back to Teddi and spoke in a bewildered tone. "What just happened in there?"

"In where?" Teddi replied in return.

Jerry rolled his eyes. "With you and Julia? Since when did you two become best pals?"

Teddi sighed out loud. "Jerry, what you see is not always what you get. Please remember that when it comes to Julia, especially." She paused for a moment before continuing. "Otherwise, you are going to be sorely disappointed."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" An agitated sigh fell from his lips. "You're talking in riddles."

"Get a joke book then," Teddi responded with a shrug as she headed back to her office.

Jerry shook his head as he rolled his eyes again. Nothing was making sense at all these days and now these two women were at the top of the list. He sighed in exasperation. Some days he really had to wonder who the head angel was that was running the show because he had a list of grievances to wage.

The Jacks Residence -- 7:30pm

The master suite had taken on a life of its own over the past few weeks as it had become everyone's second home. Brenda was spending at least three quarters of her time between the bed and the sofa so the living room area of the suite had become Jillian's new playroom. Some days Jax felt as though he had to clear a path just to walk between the toys, book, games and the dog. Jillian still viewed it as a new experience and was still excited most of the time but Brenda could feel the room getting smaller every day. It had not been a good few days between her mood swings, her aching back and the trouble she was having sleeping. The passing calendar days did not help either, they just meant that Christmas Eve was coming in a week and Brenda dreaded it.

Tonight, Brenda seemed a bit more relaxed and for that, Jax was most grateful. He had told Jillian yesterday that this was not a good time for Tron to visit but Brenda had insisted. She knew that her restricted activity was preventing Jillian from doing some things so Brenda was happy that Tron was in town and could come to the house for a visit. Now the two children were laying in the middle of the rug putting together a jigsaw puzzle while Lady laid between the two of them. Jillian was beaming and that made Brenda smile for the first time all day. That fact had put an instant smile on Jax's face as well before he went downstairs to get a snack for everyone.

Brenda had made both of the children's nights when she had told them that they could open the Christmas gifts from each other. She and Teddi had talked about it on the telephone earlier in the day and they had agreed that it was the best thing to do since Jillian and Tron would not be together during the holidays. Jillian still had on the silk pink slippers, embroidered with small flowers to match the ceremonial robe she had, and she had also found a stuffed panda bear and Chinese checkers game in her gift package. Tron was wearing the New York Yankees hat he had opened and he could not wait until he got to Geneva where he could put together the race track and race the new Hot Wheels he had been given. Both elves were very pleased with their gifts.

Brenda propped herself up in bed more as Tron and Jillian giggled when Jillian tried to put a center piece of the puzzle into the corner. Jax then came into the suite with glasses of milk and a tray of gingerbread cookies which Josee had baked and then Robin and Jillian had decorated when Robin came for a visit over the weekend. Jax handed Tron and Jillian their glasses of milk and then let each of them pick out a gingerbread cookie from the tin of confections.

"I want a lady gingerbread cookie," Jillian excitedly said.

Tron chose the opposite. "Mine is a boy." He bit into the leg of the gingerbread man. "Good, raisin feet."

Jillian ate the iced feet of her cookie. "Yum, pink icing shoes."

Jax shook his head at the two of them and then sat down on the bed next to Brenda. "Sweetie, here's some milk for you."

"Thanks," Brenda said as she took a sip of the milk. "It's just not the same when it's not a dunking pool for Oreos."

Jax chuckled as he stroked Brenda's chin. "I know."

"Mommy, I want you to taste mine and Aunt Robin's cookies." Jillian put her cup of milk on the floor and her half of a cookie on the plate and stood up. "I made a Mommy cookie for you."

Brenda flashed Jillian a smile as she approached the bed. "What's a Mommy cookie?"

"I'll show you." Jillian reached into the tin to find it. Meanwhile Tron put down his own cookie to get up to see what a "Mommy" cookie looked like as well.

Jillian pulled out a cookie from the bottom of the tin. "I finded it." She pointed to the cookie with chocolate hair. "Look, it's you, Mommy."

A radiant beam covered Brenda's face as she looked down at the cookie. "And what are these?" Brenda pointed to the two red cinnamon candies in the middle of the cookie.

"That's the babies inside your tummy," Jillian responded with a beaming grin.

Tron nodded his head. "Yes, there's two there."

"Thank you, it looks just like me and the babies." Brenda kissed Jillian atop her head. "Now, can you show me the Daddy cookie?"

Jillian bobbed her head up and down. "Yes, Aunt Robin helped me make a Daddy one too."

Brenda twisted one of Jillian's curls around her finger. "Aunt Robin was so nice to help you since Mommy couldn't."

"Daddy says next time, you can help," Jillian answered as she searched for the "Daddy" cookie.

"That's right," Brenda said with a smile. "We'll decorate big heart cookies for Valentine's Day."

"Yeah!" Jillian squealed in response to the Valentines cookie news and then squealed again when she found the cookie. "Here's your cookie, Daddy."

Jax grinned as he took the cookie from Jillian. "Well, look at the yellow hair." He pointed to the chocolate chips on the chest of the gingerbread man. "What is this?"

"That's chocolate candy in your pocket." Jillian's blue eyes sparkled as she looked up at Jax. "You keep it there to give some to me and Mommy."

A snicker fell from Jax's lips. "I do?"

Brenda wrapped her arms around Jillian and then directed her response to Jax. "Jillian, that was a great idea. Daddy should always keep chocolate in his pocket for us."

"So you two have started ganging up on me already?" A lopsided grin appeared on Jax's lips. "Is this what I have to look forward to for the next fifty years?"

Brenda rested her cheek against Jillian's face and smugly smiled at Jax. "You're such a smart man, honey."

Jax lifted his eyebrow and then turned to Tron. "I'm going to need your help watching out for these two."

Tron laughed. "I'll help you watch."

"I'm helping Mommy," Jillian piped in. "We're girls."

Brenda looked at the clock on the night stand and saw the approaching bedtime hour. "Well, everyone is going to have to watch while they get ready for bed. It's time to pick up the puzzle and finish your snacks and then it's time for bed."

Jillian and Tron turned around and walked back to the puzzle. Jillian saw Lady's mouth moving toward her half eaten cookie on the plate. "No stealing, Lady, they're not your cookies."

"Lady, get away." The sound of Jax's forceful voice rang through the air.

The dog covered her head with her paws as if in shame. Jax and Brenda had to bite their tongues to suppress their laughter. Tron didn't and he giggled as he spoke. "Lady's hiding her eyes."

"Yes, she is but she still is in trouble." Brenda sighed. "Lady, you know better than that. No stealing food."

Lady whimpered in contrition and Jax snapped his fingers. "That's enough of that."

The dog became silent and Tron was completely fascinated by Lady's antics. "She listens."

"Only part of the time when she's behaving." Brenda rubbed her hands together. "Finish up now and then off to bed."

Jillian looked up with big eyes. "Can Daddy read us a story?"

Jax nodded. "Yes, I will and then when Mommy gets up soon to take her little walk, she will come in and say good night."

Jillian and Tron finished their cookies while they put the puzzle away. They then brushed their teeth and went into Jillian's room where Corrine had made up the day bed for Tron to sleep on. Jax met them there and the children decided that they wanted to hear "Swiss Family Robinson" so Jax read them a chapter of it. When the chapter was finished, Jax went down the hall to make sure Brenda had been able to get out of bed all right. Dr. Meadows wanted her to walk for a few minutes every few hours so Brenda would walk up and down the second floor hallway.

In Jillian's room, Tron had crawled into the daybed and Jillian was in her own bed. They both had made their trips to the bathroom and said their prayers. Lady came into the room and then planted herself in the center of the rug between both beds. Jax came back into Jillian's bedroom as Tron and Jillian were talking.

"Okay, it's time to say good night." Jax walked over to Tron. "Are you all ready?"

Tron nodded. "Yes, all done."

Jillian lifted her head up. "We said our prayers, Daddy. Tron talks to his daddy, he's up in heaven just like Jamie. Tron's daddy still takes care of him."

"Of course he still takes care of Tron." Jax smiled at Tron. "That's what Daddies do, even if they are in heaven."

Tron returned Jax's smile. "Mommy and Great Grandfather say Daddy watches me all the time, he just can't tuck me in."

"Jamie watches too with all the angels," Jillian responded with a nod of her head. "But Daddy can't tuck Jamie in bed."

Tron's dark eyes widened as he looked up at Jax. "My daddy will tuck Jamie in, Mommy says he tucks in all the angels."

Jax felt a bit of the weight disappear from his heart. He had not even realized how heavy it had become over the past few days with Christmas Eve just a week away. "Jamie will like that."

Jillian smiled as she sat up again. "Daddy, you can tuck in Tron 'cause his daddy can't. Everybody gets tucked in."

"Yes, everyone will be tucked in." Jax tucked in Tron and as he turned to move to Jillian's bed, he saw Brenda in the doorway. Two tears were rolling down her cheek but a luminous smile covered her face. Jax gave her a bright smile in return and then he tucked Jillian into bed.

Brenda brushed away her tears and came into the bedroom. She kissed both Tron and Jillian good night and then grasped Jax's hand as he turned out the bedroom light and they walked into the hallway. She hugged Jax as tightly as she could and whispered to him. "Are you all right, honey?"

"Yes, sweetie," Jax murmured as he rested his chin on top of her head. "How are you?"

Brenda leaned her head against Jax's chest. "I'm okay." Her voice reflected her emotions. "We all are."

Monday, December 24, 2001
The Jacks Residence -- 8:30am

Jax tenderly kissed the spot behind Brenda's left ear as his arms held her as tightly against him as possible. Brenda's left hand gripped Jax's while her right hand alternated between dabbing away the tears from her eyes and clutching the baby stocking which had been hanging on the mantel waiting for Jamie's arrival two years ago. She and Jax had been awake for hours, clinging to each other while listening to the chimes of the clock toll as the hours passed by on this day of remembrance. There had been very few words spoken between them, none were needed as their hearts had echoed in unison all the emotions of that day.

Brenda stroked Jax's hand with her fingers as she listened to clocks chime at half past the hour. It was well past Jillian's waking hour but Brenda knew that Jane would be keeping her entertained. John and Jane had arrived three days before and had been just what everyone had needed. Jane had sat up with Brenda two nights before and provided comfort to her while John had been there for Jax to prepare him for this day. Then John and Jane had taken Jillian to see Santa Claus again since Jillian had found three more gifts she just had to add to her list.

John and Jane's arrival had been perfect timing for Jillian since she was anxious to hear about how many snowmen John had made in Alaska already this winter. Jillian had been watching for snow every day but Port Charles had not experienced even a snowflake as of yet. She had beamed when John showed her the three frozen snow balls he had brought especially for her from Alaska. Jillian had played with one outside and then after it had melted some, she had given it to Lady to eat as a treat. The other two snowballs were in the freezer, being saved for another day.

Now as Christmas Eve was more than eight hours old, Brenda looked up at the skylight and saw the cloudy sky. The wind had howled all night but seemed to have abated this morning. It was another gray and bleak Christmas Eve, just like last year and the year before. Deep within her, Brenda did not believe that Christmas Eve would ever be a sunny and bright day again. A shiver went through her entire body at that thought and Jax felt Brenda trembling in his arms.

Jax pulled the down comforter over Brenda's shoulders. "I'm right here, sweetie."

"As always," she quietly whispered. "I'm sorry I have been so restless."

"Please don't be." He lightly squeezed Brenda's shoulders. "I just wish you weren't so uncomfortable, especially today."

She turned in an attempt to find a more comfortable position and reached out to touch Jax's face. "There's only one thing that could make this day comfortable and we'll never have him here with us."

"No, we won't." Jax brought Brenda's hand to his lips and kissed it. "But he'll never be gone from our hearts."

"Not ever," Brenda whispered in agreement before gasping out loud.

Jax saw Brenda wince in pain. "Brenda, what is it?"

She suddenly shifted out of Jax's embrace. "I need to get up."

There was obvious anxiety in Jax's voice. "What's the matter?"

She spoke through clenched teeth. "My leg."

Jax quickly helped her into a sitting position so that her legs were over the side of the bed. He then knelt down on the floor and placed his hands behind Brenda's knee. "Sweetie, I know it hurts but I need you to lift your leg for me."

Brenda's breath caught as she moaned. "Jax, it hurts."

"I know." Jax gingerly touched Brenda's calf. "Come on, baby, I need you to do this for me."

She winced again as she tried to move her right leg. "Damn!"

"I know, but just a little higher for me." Jax's hands remained underneath Brenda's calf as she elevated her leg several more inches.

Tears rimmed Brenda's eyes as she grimaced until finally she had lifted her leg as high as she could. "Oh God."

"That's my girl." Jax murmured as he gently massaged Brenda's calf muscle. "Take some deep breaths and then we'll walk the rest of it off."

She took a few quick, deep breaths and then grasped Jax's hand. "Okay, I'm ready."

Jax took both of Brenda's hands and helped her to her feet. "We'll take this very slow." He then wrapped his arm around her. "Lean on me, sweetie."

Brenda clutched Jax's arm as they slowly walked around the bedroom. "Thank you, I should have known this one was coming."

He noticed how stilted Brenda's gait was. "I'll give you a back rub and maybe that with the heating pad will ease some of that back ache."

They walked around the suite and then moved out into the hallway as Brenda took a few more deep breaths. "I don't think this back will ever forgive me for being a tandem trailer."

"Our angels are greedy little ones, aren't they?" Jax's top lip curled up into a smile. "First tag teaming their mommy's back and now zapping all that calcium from you."

She sighed softly. "Yes, they'll take everything but the forty plus pounds from me."

Jax pulled Brenda closer to him. "Darling, the little ones have also made you more beautiful than I've ever seen you."

John appeared in the doorway of the guest suite. "Son, I wholeheartedly agree."

"Neither of you are exactly impartial observers," Brenda said as she lifted her eyebrow at John.

"Well, my eyes may be old but they bloody well know what they see," John retorted.

Jax flashed John a smile. "As do mine, Dad, and I see before me a vision of enchanting radiance."

John nodded in agreement. "Yes, a vibrant rose, blossoming more perfectly every day."

"You both are too much," Brenda replied with the first smile of the day.

Jane was already shaking her head on the stairs as Jillian followed behind her. "Good grief, it sounds like I have to go get my hip boots to come up here with these Jacks men."

"That's a very good idea," Brenda said with a wink.

"Mommy and Daddy, you woke up." Jillian raced around Jane and scampered toward Jax and Brenda.

Jax stepped if front of Brenda so that Jillian would not jostle Brenda's aching leg or back. "Yes, princess, we are awake. How are you this morning?"

"Good, Santa's coming in one day and I ate my oatmeal all gone." Jillian licked her lips. "Grandmom let me stir in sugar, the brown kind."

"Aren't you lucky?" Brenda ran her hand up and down Jillian's arm. "Grandmom and Grandpa always take such special care of you. They take special care of all of us."

Jane saw how tired and uncomfortable Brenda looked and took Jillian's hand. "Why don't we go into Mommy and Daddy's room so Mommy can lie down. Then you can keep Mommy and Daddy company when they have breakfast."

Jax reached for Brenda's hand. "Yes, Mommy needs to get back to bed and to eat something."

Jillian bobbed her head up and down. "After breakfast, we have to make the tree pretty."

"Yes, it will be time then." Brenda managed to give her a bright smile to match the beam on Jillian's face.

"Me and Daddy buyed lots and lots of pretty things at the store." Jillian squinted her eyes as she excitedly spoke. "Jamie's gonna like it when he looks waaay down on the ground."

Jax nodded to Jillian. "I think he will too."

Brenda leaned her head against Jax's shoulder and they slowly made their way back to the master suite while Jane and Jillian lead the way and John went downstairs to ask Josee to fix a breakfast tray. When they got to the suite, Jillian helped Jane pull back the comforter and Jax helped Brenda into bed after her second trip to the bathroom in the past forty-five minutes.. He then began massaging Brenda's calf muscle again while Jane plugged in the heating pad and Jillian helped Brenda to push the pillows behind her. Once everything was settled and breakfast was ready, Jane left the three of them alone to be together. She winked at Jillian on the way out and Jillian waved back to her.

Jillian had already been given special instructions earlier at the breakfast table by Jane about making sure both her parents ate. Jax and Brenda were well aware of Jane's orchestrated plan so they provided no resistance to Jillian's efforts even though it took effort to stomach the idea of food in general this morning. Jillian did an admirable job by taking turns tearing the muffins and bagels into little bits and feeding them to both of her parents. She giggled when she dropped the berries off the spoon as she was feeding the fruit to Brenda. Brenda said things would be fine so long as Jillian did not try to feed her any of Jax's banana and that provided the latest round of giggles from Jillian. Jillian's antics provided emotional comfort to both Jax and Brenda. She would always be the first angel in their lives.

After breakfast, Jax hoped that giving Brenda a back rub would relax her enough to be able to take a nap. Jane took Jillian to help her get dressed and play for awhile before going outside to decorate the tree. Jax stayed in the master suite and massaged Brenda's shoulders and back. She rested briefly but could not relax enough to go to sleep. After an hour, Jillian came back into the suite anxious to decorate the tree.

Brenda patted Jax's hand. "Go ahead, the princess has been very patient."

Jillian clapped her hands together. "Yeah! Daddy, the box is all ready."

"Yes, everything is at the door waiting," Jane added as she came into the suite.

Jillian sat down on the bed next to Brenda. "Mommy, can you come?"

"Sorry sweetie, but I better stay up here today to make my leg and back feel better." Brenda squeezed Jillian's hand. "But I know you will make Jamie's tree beautiful."

A heavy sigh fell from Jillian's lips. "I wanted you to help."

"Me too." Brenda cupped Jillian's cheek with her palm. "I want you to do something special for me, you put the first ornament on the tree. Pick out a very pretty one and put it in a very special place on the tree."

"I'll pick a real, real special one." A gleam registered in Jillian's eyes. "Can you look at me out the window?"

Brenda nodded. "Yes, when you're almost finished I'll get up and open the doors and see you from the terrace. Then I'll see the tree in a few days when I go outside to go to see the doctor again."

Jillian smiled and then looked up at Jane. "Can you come, Grandma?"

Jane stroked Jillian's cheek. "I'll come out when you're all done but I'll wait here with Mommy until then so she has some company. Grandpa will be out there with you and Daddy."

"Lady too," Jillian said in response.

Jax came back to the bed with the camera from the dresser. "When the tree is all finished, Grandpa will bring the camera out and he'll take your picture in front of the tree."

Brenda flashed her a grin. "Another picture for the Angel room."

A radiant beam covered Jillian's face as she scooted off the bed. "Time to go."

Jax took Jillian's hand to prevent her from racing away. "First, we need coats and mittens."

"I'll wave to you, Jillian." Brenda called out as Jillian scurried toward the door.

"Mommy, I'm gonna wave too," Jillian squealed as she and Jax left the bedroom.

Jax and Jillian went downstairs to find John and Lady waiting for them in the foyer. Jillian put on her mittens while Jax zippered up her coat. She was bouncing up and down in excitement as he gave the camera to John and then picked up the box of outdoor decorations. John opened the front door for the entourage to head outside and told Jillian he would be out in shortly. Jillian and Lady led the way while Jax followed behind them to the side yard.

When they reached the tree, Jax put the box on the bench and opened it up. He turned and spoke to Jillian. "Okay, princess, which one?"

With an animated grin, Jillian dug through the box and pulled out a red heart. "This one, Mommy likes hearts."

"Yes, she does." Jax helped Jillian affix a hook onto the heart. "Now, where do you want the heart?"

As she held the ornament in her right hand, Jillian placed her left hand over her own heart. Jillian then stood directly in front of the tree and moved her hand from her heart to the branch straight in front of it. "Right here."

Jax rested his hand on Jillian's back. "Why there, princess?"

"It's where the tree's heart is," Jillian responded. "Mommy says Jamie lives in everybody's heart. Now, Jamie can live in the tree too." She looked up at Jax with wide eyes. "Is that a special place, Daddy?"

Jax felt his breath catch in his throat momentarily. He was convinced that every night the angels whispered words of guidance to Jillian and the stars shined on her, making her a brighter light in their lives, each ensuing day. "Yes, Jillian. It's perfect."

A joyous grin covered Jillian's face. "Now, the snowflakes and the stars and the sparkly, red balls."

Jax tweaked Jillian's nose and then the red and white decorations began to fill up the tree. Since the pine tree had grown to the same height as Jillian, Jax lifted her up to reach the highest branch to hang the last snowflake ornament. For the final adornment on the small tree, Jax held the red and white beads as Jillian walked around the tree.

Jillian sighed in contentment. "Daddy, it's so pretty."

"Yes, it is." Jax flashed her a broad grin. "Thank you princess, you helped Mommy and Daddy so much."

Her eyes widened as she questioned Jax. "Are you and Mommy still gonna be sad?"

Jax knelt down beside Jillian. "Yes, but just a little sad now since you helped us."

Jillian wrapped her arms around Jax's neck as she spoke. "We can hug Mommy like this so she is only a teeny bit sad."

Brenda stood on the terrace, wearing the coat John had brought upstairs for her. Her leg ached again from the cool outside air and her back was tightening up as well but she could not help but to smile at the sight of Jillian hugging Jax.

Jillian looked up to see Brenda and Jane waving at her from the terrace. "The tree is all done," Jillian exclaimed as she waved back at them.

"It's beautiful, Brenda called out. "You and Daddy did such a good job."

John then appeared in the yard with the camera. "Now, who wants their picture taken?"

"Me," Jillian squealed as she moved in front of the pine tree and stood next to the dog. "And Lady too."

As John was about to snap the photo, Jillian shrieked as she saw Snowflake flying toward her. "Wait Grandpa. Snowflake wants to be in the picture with me and Lady."

Simultaneously, Jax and Brenda smiled as Snowflake gracefully landed atop the tree. Jillian spun around and looked at the bird and then turned back to Jax. "Daddy, now we don't need to put the angel on top of the tree, Snowflake's there."

Jax murmured as he locked eyes with Brenda on the terrace above him. "Yes, Jillian, the tree already has its angel."

Forty-five minutes later, Jillian was reading to Brenda in bed before lunch. As Jillian giggled about Goofy's antics in the Mickey Mouse story, Brenda pulled the covers back and got into a sitting a position.

Something was wreaking havoc with her digestive system this morning. "Sweetie, I need to get up again."

"Again?" Jillian exhaled sharply. "Daddy should give you tiny glasses of milk, not the big ones."

"We'll tell him that," Brenda replied as she grimaced getting out of bed and then headed to the bathroom.

A few moments later, Brenda came out of the bathroom. She grasped the door frame and steadied herself against the wall. Everything inside her was telling her to panic but Brenda managed to speak calmly.

"Jillian, I need you to go and get Daddy for me. Then tell Grandpa that Mommy said you can watch Mary Poppins in the den until it is time for lunch." She took a deep breath. "Please find Daddy first and then go into the den and ask Grandpa to put in the tape."

Jillian scooted off the bed. "Oh boy, I'm gonna find Daddy and then watch the movie."

The panic began as soon as Jillian had taken her first step out of the master suite. Her legs were trembling so much that Brenda was afraid to take a step for fear of collapsing. Her lungs felt as though every ounce of oxygen had been removed from the air. This could not be happening. Not today.

Three minutes later, Jax entered the suite and his heart began racing immediately at the sight of her. "Brenda!" He crossed the room in a second and immediately put both arms around Brenda and moved her to the bed. "What is it, Brenda?"

"The babies," she stammered. "It's too soon."

Jax's eyes displayed the fear he had been able to suppress from his voice. "Are you having contractions?"

"Yes, my back..." She could not catch her breath. "I....can't....breathe."

"Take deep breaths." Jax lunged for the paper bag on the night stand and dumped the magazines onto the floor. "Here, sweetie, breathe into this." His voice became more urgent as he propped Brenda up further on her side. "Brenda, I need you to do this for me. Nice deep breaths for me."

At that moment Jane walked into the room and raced over to the bed. "Jax, what is it?"

He turned to Jane. "The emergency number for Dr. Meadows' service is on speed dial."

Jane grabbed the telephone and reached the answering service. Dr. Ronald Jacobs was on call for Dr. Meadows for the holiday and the answering service informed Jane that Dr. Jacobs would call back immediately.

As Jane hung up the phone, Brenda's breathing had become better. "Brenda, the service is paging Dr. Jacobs. He's on his way to the hospital for surgery this afternoon."

"That's it, sweetie, try to calm down." Jax squeezed Brenda's hand. "Tell me what happened."

Jane came out of the bathroom with a glass of water. "Dear, take a few, small sips of this."

"Please -- not today," Brenda murmured as big tears rolled down her cheeks. "Not again."

"Don't baby, please." Jax's eyes glistened with tears.

Jane caressed Brenda's cheek. "Brenda, I know how scared you are but it's not that early."

Jax took his hand and stroked Brenda's abdomen. "You remember what the radiologist said with the last ultrasound about our little ones not being that little anymore. They've been growing bigger and stronger every day."

The phone rang and Jax immediately picked it up to hear Dr. Jacobs' voice on the line. With Jax's arm securely around her, Brenda regained her composure long enough to answer Dr. Jacobs' preliminary questions. Jax then took the phone from her and Dr. Jacobs gave him instructions and told Jax that Dr. Stewart, the obstetrical resident, would be initially monitoring Brenda's condition.

Jax hung up the phone. "We need to get you to the hospital now. Dr. Jacobs wants to keep a close eye on you, just like Lynn said would happen when labor started."

Jane hurried toward the door. "I'll get your father ready with the car and I'll take care of Jillian."

Jax lifted Brenda's chin as her tears returned with a flourish. "Sweetie, I know how terrified you are, but you are so brave. That's what our angels need. We're going to get through this, Brenda, you'll see."

General Hospital -- 4:15pm

The obstetrical floor was a buzz with activity this late afternoon with the newest resident arriving an hour before and two other impending arrivals were anticipated within the next few hours. It was still undetermined whether or not Brenda would be added to the list of delivery suite guests for the day. Brenda had been fighting so hard to keep herself together when she had arrived at the hospital. The memories of the same ride to General Hospital two Christmas Eves before were torturing her. Jax had held her the entire twenty minute ride whispering, "I love you, my brave beautiful Brenda" over and over again to her.

When Brenda arrived in the emergency room, Dr. Stewart was waiting for her. Brenda's anxiety had been alleviated a bit when the electronic fetal monitors had begun steadily beeping as soon as they were secured to her abdomen. The nurse had immediately given her a reassuring smile and told her that Dr. Jacobs would be there after he finished surgery. Brenda had seen Dr. Jacobs a few times over the past six months when Lynn Meadows was on vacation or detained at the hospital but Brenda could not help lamenting that Lynn would not be there for them. Lynn had been so integral in helping to get Brenda, Jax and the twins this far and now it would be someone Brenda barely knew.

Dr. Stewart examined Brenda and ordered blood samples to be drawn and IVs to be inserted while nurses came in every fifteen minutes to check Brenda's vital signs. Her contractions continued but were not getting any more intense nor any more frequent. An ultrasound was ordered and Dr. Jacobs arrived from surgery as the technician was performing the procedure. The ultrasound showed no evidence of a problem with either placenta and Dr. Jacobs was pleased with the position and size of the twins. After Dr. Jacobs' examination, consultation with Dr. Stewart and review of the blood test results, he ordered a careful watch on Brenda's blood pressure and her admission onto the obstetrical floor. Dr. Jacobs told Jax and Brenda that it would be a waiting game to see how things progressed over the next few hours but everyone would be prepared if Brenda's labor led to delivery. In conjunction with that, he scheduled an amniocentesis to determine the maturity level of the babies' lungs so that everyone would have as many answers as possible should a treatment decision have to be made.

The news had provided both Jax and Brenda with some relief. The continual beeping of the monitors was reassuring music to their ears. Jax stroked Brenda's temples as she tried to get some rest. She asked that he check on Jillian and let know his parents how things were. When Brenda dozed off, Jax went out to find John to give him an update. Jane had arrived in the waiting area since the last time Jax had been there. Julia had gone to the house to take care of Jillian this afternoon so Jane could meet John at the hospital to wait. Jax gave his parents the latest news and asked Jane about Jillian. He knew how much of a comfort Jane could be to Brenda so he asked Jane to sit with Brenda until he returned.

Jax wanted to call Jillian to be sure that she was all right. Jillian had realized that Brenda had been crying when she saw her mother leave to go to the hospital. Jax had told Jillian that Brenda had to take some more tests and that he would call her later but Jillian was not completely reassured. Fortunately, Brenda had not looked back to see Jillian's bottom lip quivering when Jax and John helped Brenda into the car. It had been hard enough for Jax to see it. He had exchanged a look with Jillian and somehow she had understood that she needed to wait to cry until Brenda was out of sight and earshot. It was yet another reason that Jillian would always be her daddy's angel princess.

Jax pulled his phone from his pocket and called the house. Julia picked up on the first ring. "Hello."

He walked around the corner to get rid of some of his nervous energy. "Julia, it's Jax."

"Jax, how is she?" Julia's voice exemplified her obvious worry.

"She's holding on." Jax moved his head back and forth to stretch out his tight neck muscles. "The doctors don't know yet if they can stop the labor from proceeding any further."

Julia took a deep breath as she looked to ensure that Jillian was still upstairs getting her markers to draw Brenda a picture. "What about the twins?"

"They're holding on as well." Jax swallowed the lump in his throat. "But every extra hour they have, the better off they'll be."

She blinked back the tears from her eyes. "Brenda has taken such wonderful care of them and you of her, that has to mean something."

"That's all we can think now." Jax leaned against the alcove wall as he reached the end of the corridor. "Is Jillian all right?"

"She's a little scared but we are about to draw some pictures for Brenda." Julia saw Jillian coming down the steps with her art box. "She's right here if you want to speak with her."

Jax's lips curved into a smile. "I certainly would."

Julia held the phone out to Jillian. "Sweetheart, Daddy wants to speak to you."

Jillian scrambled over to the chair and Julia took the art box from her and handed Jillian the phone.

"Daddy!"

"Hello princess," Jax responded in a congenial voice. "Are you behaving for Aunt Julia?"

"Yes, Daddy." Jillian sat against Julia's legs as she spoke. "Where's Mommy?"

Jax moistened his suddenly dry lips. "Mommy's still at the hospital. The doctors want her to stay for awhile to get some medicine."

"When are you and Mommy coming home?" A frown appeared on Jillian's face. "Isn't Mommy gonna kiss me good night?"

"No, not tonight, princess." He fought to control the emotion in his voice. "Mommy can't come home right now and I need to stay with her but Grandma and Grandpa will be there to kiss you good night and Aunt Julia too. Remember tonight you have to be sure you are asleep when Santa Claus comes."

Jillian's voice was shaky. "Daddy, is Mommy gonna go to heaven with Jamie?" Julia cringed and then pulled Jillian into her lap.

Jax heard his heart being broken into pieces. "No, Jillian, Mommy is not going to heaven. She'll be home as soon as she is better. The doctors just need to take care of her now."

Jax then felt a solid weight on his shoulder as Jerry gripped it and then eased him down into the chair outside the alcove. Jerry took the phone from Jax and he heard Julia telling Jillian again that Brenda was not going to heaven and would be coming home.

Jerry spoke into the phone. "Hey Roo! Shouldn't you be in bed already waiting for the reindeer?"

"Uncle Jerry?" A puzzled look crossed Jillian's face. "Where's Daddy?"

As he responded to Jillian's question, Jerry's eyes never left Jax. "Daddy is right here but I'm stronger than him so I took the phone away."

"No, you're not," Jillian groaned. "Daddy can pick up me and Mommy." She then changed subjects. "I wanna talk to Mommy."

Jerry exhaled deeply. "I just saw your mother and she is taking a nap so we can't wake her up now." He decided to try to change subjects again. "I heard that maybe Santa is coming to your house tonight, that is if you have been good enough this year."

"I'm good," she answered. "So is Lady."

"The beast is definitely not good but I guess you are okay most of the time." Jerry continued. "I thought I'd come over and make sure you leave Santa the right kind of cookies and milk."

Jillian smiled. "Santa likes chocolate chips and lots of milk. After Daddy reads me a story, we put them on the table and Mommy turns out all the lights so Santa will come."

"Yes, that is the just how Santa likes it," Jerry replied into the phone. "How about me reading you a story and Aunt Julia helping you with the milk and cookies and then turning off the lights tonight for Santa?"

She looked up at Julia. "Can you help me pour the milk for Santa?"

"Yes," Julia said with a nod. "You can even pick out the glass for Santa's milk."

Jillian grinned as she talked into the phone. "Uncle Jerry, Aunt Julia will help. But you have to read all the pages, no skipping in the book."

Jerry rolled his eyes. "Fine, no skipping pages in the book."

Jax took a deep breath and smiled at what he surmised of Jillian's comment about Jerry's skipping of pages in her books. He patted Jerry's arm in gratitude as Jerry continued speaking to Jillian.

"All right, Roo, I'll come over soon and bring dinner. What do you want to eat?"

"Pizza," Jillian said immediately. "With little pepperoni."

"Yes, ma'am," Jerry muttered with a shake of his head. "Ask Aunt Julia if she wants the usual slugs on hers."

Jillian scrunched up her nose as she turned to Julia. "You eat slugs?"

"No, that is Uncle Jerry trying to be funny and failing miserably." Julia winked at Jillian. "Tell Uncle Jerry, yes, I want mushrooms."

Jillian giggled. "Uncle Jerry, mushrooms, not slugs."

"Same thing to me, Jillian." He saw Jax motioning for the phone. "Jillian, here is your daddy again. I'll see you in about an hour with the pizza."

Jax took the phone. "Jillian, it's Daddy. You be a good girl and get ready for Santa tonight. I'll be home as soon as I can."

Jillian questioned Jax. "How's Mommy gonna see my present?" I made it for her."

"We'll bring it to her tomorrow as a special surprise." Jax sighed again. "She'll like that."

"Okay, Daddy." Jillian blew kisses out of her hand. "I'm blowing you and Mommy kisses and I'll ask God to make her all better."

Jax smiled. "Thank you. I'll give Mommy the kiss for you. We love you, Jillian."

Her sweet voice touched his heart. "I love you, Daddy."

Jax began walking down the corridor. "I need to go see if Mommy is still sleeping. I'll call you to say good night. Bye princess."

Jillian echoed him. "Bye Daddy."

Jax turned off the phone and locked eyes with Jerry. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, little brother." Jerry flashed Jax a trademark grin. "You just worry about Brenda and those babies, Julia and I will take care of Jillian."

Jax went back to Brenda's room and found her awake talking to Jane. Jane kissed them both and went to sit with John in the waiting area. When Jax walked her to the door, Jane whispered to him that Brenda's contractions were getting more intense. He walked back to the bed, took Brenda's hand and kissed her palm. "That's from Jillian."

Worry gleamed through Brenda's eyes. "How is she?"

He moved her hand to his face and stroked his cheek against it. "She loves you and misses you but Jerry has her excited about Christmas."

"Christmas...," Brenda murmured. "You have to tell your parents where everything is...the cookies... the stocking stuffers... Lady's toys...and the ballerina music box in the drawer."

"Mum and Dad will take care of everything." Jax stroked his fingers through Brenda's hair. "Please don't worry."

Brenda felt tears burning her eyes. "I just wanted to make it special for her. Now, I don't know..."

"Sshh." He looked directly into her chocolate pools and whispered to her. "Sweetie, don't."

"The contractions..." Brenda could not finish her thought as she squeezed Jax's hand and grimaced.

"Breathe through it." The monitor reading caught Jax's eyes. "It's coming down....more...more...okay."

She collapsed against the pillow. "They're not going to stop."

"If they don't, Dr. Jacobs is ready." Jax kissed her forehead. "This whole unit will be ready to take care of these babies."

A tear spilled down Brenda's cheek. "We're supposed to take care of them."

Jax moved up the top of the bed and leaned down so that his face was level with Brenda's. "You have been for almost nine months, you have given our babies everything anyone could. They're going to be strong because of it and fighters and so brave, just like their mommy."

Dr. Jacobs came into the room and looked at the fetal and uterine monitor tapes. He examined Brenda again and then spoke to Brenda and Jax. "Brenda, you're up to four centimeters dilated and the contractions are increasing. These babies want to be delivered." He looked at both Jax and Brenda. "I know you were hoping for better news than that but the news is not all bad."

Jax held on tightly to Brenda's hand. "What's the not so bad part of it?"

Dr. Jacobs thumbed through his lab reports. "The levels of lung surfactant taken from both sacs during the amniocentesis were good. We expect both babies to be able to breathe on their own."

Brenda felt her heart racing in her chest as she sighed in relief but that was only one problem possibly overcome. "They're not due for another thirty days."

Dr. Jacobs nodded. "Yes, another week or two would be the much preferred but it does not appear we will have that luxury. The birth weight will not be the ideal but the ultrasounds suggest the low five pound range for each. At this point in a multiple pregnancy, that range is considered more than satisfactory."

Brenda sat up again as another contraction hit. Her nurse, Grace, dabbed the cool washcloth over Brenda's forehead. Dr. Jacobs watched the fetal monitors. The fetal heart rates had responded as desired during the contraction. "That's it, Brenda, go with it."

She moaned as the pain finally subsided and she wondered how Lois managed to survive two deliveries with back labor. It was excruciating. Brenda looked at Dr. Jacobs and her voice trembled. "They're really not going to stop tonight, are they?"

Dr. Jacobs shook his head. "I'm afraid not." He put down Brenda's chart. "After you have progressed a bit further, another ultrasound will be done to check the babies' positions again. They were in textbook vertex positions earlier and have been since your ultrasound four weeks ago."

Jax inquired of the doctor. "Does that mean no contemplated cesarean at this moment?"

"If there is no sign of fetal distress and the positions are both vertex when Brenda is ready to deliver, no." Dr. Jacobs further explained the situation. "But if any complication or change occurs before or during delivery, a cesarean could be performed for one or both of the babies. The situation will dictate that. Brenda's blood pressure will be watched very closely as well."

Dr. Jacobs continued to give Jax and Brenda information the precautions that would be taken in the delivery room. Dr. Ross, the neonatologist on call for the holiday, would be in the delivery room along with a pediatrician for each baby. Dr. Jacobs explained that Dr. Ross would come to see Jax and Brenda before delivery to answer questions as to the potential problems facing premature babies.

Brenda was terrified, anxious and overwhelmed by the time Dr. Jacobs left the room. "Jax, I'm so scared."

Jax nestled his head against hers. "I know, baby, I know."

Brenda had another contraction and Grace watched the monitors and held her hand while Jax massaged Brenda's back. When it was over, Grace suggested that Brenda close her eyes for a few minutes to rest before the next contraction came.

Jax looked up at the clock on the wall, it was just before six o'clock. It had only been about six hours since Brenda had been admitted but it already felt closer to six days. This day was going to be an eternity. He leaned down to kiss Brenda's forehead and murmured that he would be right back. "I love you, all three of you."

Jax went out to the waiting area to alert John and Jane to the news, there were going to be two babies delivered before the night was over and thoughts and prayers were needed by all. John's steady hand reached for Jax's trembling shoulder as the warm touch of Jane's comforting fingers met Jax's cold palm. It was then that Jax knew that they had all the thoughts and prayers they could ever hope for, the sound of the angels singing in his heart could not mean anything less.

General Hospital -- 10:45pm

The evening turned into night and Brenda's labor progressed. At various points, she was exhausted, anxious, terrified and in tremendous pain. Dr. Ross had spent some time with Jax and Brenda outlining the obstacles they could be facing once the twins were delivered. He knew the possibilities were difficult to hear but it was his standard practice to prepare parents for the worst case scenarios so that there would be no surprises. Grace had explained to Jax and Brenda what Dr. Ross' discussion would be like as had Dr. Joe Scanlon who was the obstetrical resident on duty for the night. Brenda was relieved to see a friendly face with Joe and then was given another bit of encouragement when Joe told her that Karen was on duty as the pediatric resident for the night and would likely be in the delivery room with them. After the problems of years ago between Brenda and Karen, they had become friends over the past few years due to Karen's treatment of a number of the patients that Kanga's Kradle helped.

In their discussions with Brenda, both Grace and Joe had sung high praises for Dr. Ross' talents. Although he was relatively new to General Hospital's staff, Brenda had also heard glowing reports from some of the residents of Kanga's Kradle. To alleviate some of Brenda's trepidation, Jax reminded her that Dr. Ross' skill was what they needed most. Personally, Jax was grateful for Dr. Ross' reputation for candidness, he had always respected anyone who pulled no punches when outlining the obstacles which had to be faced.

Brenda was quite apprehensive awaiting Dr. Ross' visit but once he arrived, she was surprised to feel more at ease. He did outline the typical problems associated with premature births and some were terrifying to think about, but in the end, Brenda realized that the more they knew, the better off they would be. In his final comments to Jax and Brenda, Dr. Ross explained that many of the obstacles he had discussed were not likely at the gestational age of the twins but since there were no set rules when it came to premature infants, he wanted Jax and Brenda prepared for anything. They were fortunate since the twins' age was considered on the top end of the prematurity scale and the fact that their lungs were mature was the best piece of news possible. If they were lucky, the twins would only be in the NICU for a short time after birth.

Now as the clock moved toward eleven o'clock, the contractions were coming one right on top of the other. Since her water had broken two hours before, Brenda's labor had progressed steadily. She had just been moved down the hall to the largest delivery room to allow for all the staff who would be present during delivery. It was also the closest room to the NICU. As each hour passed, more and more activity swarmed around her. Monitors seemed to be everywhere and there was some worry when Brenda's blood pressure had become more elevated but it had stabilized now and was being even more closely monitored. Jax had sent his parents back to the house several hours before so that they could be there for Jillian. Jerry and Julia had taken care of getting the gifts ready for Jillian's Christmas morning so everything was handled at the house for Brenda.

Another contraction came and Jax talked Brenda through it. "That's it, sweetie. Quick, short breaths." He caressed her cheek. "Okay, it's over."

Brenda mumbled as she laid back against the pillow. "I don't know if I can do this."

"I have no doubts," Jax whispered to her as he stroked her hair. "You can do anything, my brave one."

Brenda closed her eyes. "I'm so tired."

Jax kissed her eyelids. "That's it, rest your eyes."

"Tell me about Jillian," Brenda murmured as Jax held her hand. "What did Julia say?"

"After her bath, Jerry read Jillian her a story and then Jillian left cookies and milk for Santa and carrots for the reindeer." Jax laughed softly. "Those are from Lady."

Brenda's upper lip curved into a small smile. "Animals have to look out for each other." Another contraction came. "Another one."

Jax massaged her back. "Breathe through it, baby."

Between pants, Brenda spoke. "What else about Jillian?"

"She helped Julia turn out all the lights downstairs except for the Christmas tree so that Santa could see his way in the dark," Jax replied as he watched the monitors. "It's almost over."

"I want to push," Brenda exclaimed through clenched teeth.

"No, sweetie, not yet. Just breathe." Jax supported her back. "That's it, it's over."

"It won't be much longer," the nurse said as she wiped Brenda's brow with a cool cloth. "I'm going to go see if Dr. Jacobs has finished upstairs yet."

Jax fed Brenda a spoonful of ice chips. "I'm so proud of you."

"I'm scared." Brenda's voice cracked as she spoke. "What if they're not strong enough?"

Jax cradled Brenda's face with his hands. "They're going to be as strong as you are, I can just feel it." He kissed her softly on the mouth. "I love you so much."

"I love you." Brenda murmured back to him as tears clung to her eyelashes.

A moment later two nurses came into the room with Lynn Meadows walking behind them. "I hear we have some babies anxious to be born."

"Lynn," Brenda uttered in surprise. "You're here?"

She nodded. "Dr. Jacobs has to take his patient from this afternoon back into emergency surgery and he is going to have to miss the big event."

Dr. Jacobs walked into the room. "Lynn, you're here." He smiled at Brenda. "I see you have the news, I figured you would not mind the replacement."

"Thank you for everything," Brenda replied as another contraction hit.

"You're welcome, you're in great hands." Dr. Jacobs waved good-bye to Jax. "I'll see all four of you tomorrow."

Jax nodded to him as Brenda squeezed his hand. "Thank you Dr. Jacobs."

"Let me hear those quick breaths, Brenda," Dr. Meadows asked as she examined Brenda.

"I want to push," Brenda muttered in reply.

"Brenda, just breathe for me. Nice and easy." Dr. Meadows motioned to the nurses that it was time to get everyone ready.

Within minutes, the personnel in the delivery room had doubled in numbers and as Joe had predicted Karen Scanlon was there with the pediatric staff. Brenda looked up and it was like Grand Central Station. Jax felt her body tense up and he clutched her hand even tighter and whispered to her. Another tear rolled down her cheek and then she caught the sight of Dr. Ross out of the corner of her eye. He winked at her and gave her a thumbs up sign and her jaw muscle unclenched.

Lynn Meadows stood beside her. "I know it's a three ring circus in here but you just concentrate on those babies and listen to Jax's voice." She squeezed Brenda's hand. "Deb is going to be right beside you and Jax will be on the other side. When the next contraction comes, I want you to push."

They didn't have to wait long as the next contraction came a minute later. Brenda squeezed both Jax and Deb's hands as Jax counted her down through the contraction. "....4,3,2,1, okay."

"That's it, Brenda. Good." Dr. Meadows watched the fetal monitors. "Okay, I need another push."

Brenda pushed for another twenty-five minutes and exhaustion was taking over. "This is too hard."

"You're doing fine, sweetie." Jax kissed her damp forehead. "I need another push."

Dr. Meadows saw the first glimpse of the top of the baby's head. "That's it Brenda, you're crowning. Another big push." The head was delivered and Dr. Meadows called out to Brenda. "I need two more big pushes."

"Come on, sweetie," Jax said as he squeezed Brenda's hand. "Two more."

Brenda moaned as she pushed, delivering the baby's shoulders. She gasped for air and then heard a chorus of voices imploring her for one more push. Jax kissed her palm and Brenda pushed one more time and angel number one was born. Brenda was not even sure whose voice she heard first but she knew from the announcement that Jillian had a baby sister. She did recognize that it was Joe Scanlon's voice when she heard, "It's 12:04, Merry Christmas and Happy Birthday to you."

The room was bedlam but it was still too quiet for Brenda, she had heard no cries. "Is she breathing?" Brenda's voice shook. "What's the matter? She's not crying."

A moment later, a small cry was heard as the baby voiced her displeasure at being suctioned. Jax squeezed Brenda's hand and smiled. "There she is, our Christmas angel."

Tonight the stars shine for the children
And light the way for dreams to fly
Tonight our love comes wrapped in ribbons
The world is right and hopes are high
And from a dark and frosted window
A child appears to search the sky
Because it's Christmas
Because it's Christmas

Jax cut the cord and he and Brenda got a quick look at their daughter before Dr. Ross and his staff stepped in and swept the baby away. Her cries became louder as the nurse took her to the neonatal nursery down the hall. Jax moved next to Brenda again and kissed her hand. "She's beautiful and she has your nose, just like Jillian."

Tears flowed down Brenda's face. "Is she all right?"

Jax brushed her tears away. "Did you hear that temper she has? She sure sounds like a fighter to me." Jax looked at Dr. Meadows and then turned back to Brenda. "Now, we need to get her playmate born."

One of the nurses came back into the delivery room to tell Jax and Brenda that their daughter had weighed in at an even five pounds and was seventeen inches long. The nurse also told them what tests were being administered and that someone would keep them as informed as possible. As a last bit of information, the nurse referred to the baby as "Miss Feisty" since she was already protesting every effort to examine her."

Jax shook his head as a grin covered his face. "Another feisty Barrett woman. It figures."

Dr. Meadows winked at Jax and then looked up at Brenda. "Feisty, are you ready for the second half of the job?"

Brenda felt another contraction coming. "I guess I have to be," she said with a grimace. "Here's another one."

"Just breathe through this one," Dr. Meadows instructed as she got the sign from the anesthesiologist. "I'm going to make the initial incision a little bigger to ease the stress on you and the baby."

Jax and Deb held Brenda's hand as she took quick breaths. "That's it, sweetie, don't fight it."

"It's over," Brenda's exhaustion was evident in the sound of her voice.

Dr. Meadows extended the incision. "Okay, let's get this baby out. Give me a big push with the next contraction."

With two pushes, the baby's head emerged. Dr. Meadows felt the umbilical cord and Joe held the baby's head while Dr. Meadows quickly moved it from around the baby's neck. "Don't push, Brenda. Just breathe."

"Just breathe, sweetie," Jax's voice was calm but his eyes were glued to the activity centering around the baby's head.

Brenda became instantly fearful. "What's the matter with my baby?"

"Everything's fine, I just need to clear the cord from the baby's path." Dr. Meadows checked the baby's neck again to ensure that the cord had to slipped back down. "Okay, break's over. I need a strong push."

Jax counted down for Brenda again. "..4,3,2,1. That's my girl."

"Okay, that's the shoulder." Dr. Meadows prodded her. "Give me one more."

Brenda squeezed both Jax's and Deb's hands and cried out as she pushed. The second angel entered this world just twenty minutes after his sister's birth and his arrival was announced with his immediate wailing. The sound caused Brenda to instantaneously weep for joy.

Tears brimmed Jax's eyes as he kissed Brenda. "You did it, sweetie. You did it."

Brenda's weeping quickly became sobbing as Dr. Meadows announced that she had given birth to a beautiful little boy. Jax cut the cord and the nurse took the baby away but not before giving Jax and Brenda a quick look at their son. The glimpse was long enough for Brenda to see the dimple in the center of his chin and a fresh set of tears fell from her eyes. It was the same dimple that Brenda saw every morning when she awoke to Jax's face and the same dimple Brenda saw in her visions when she dreamt about holding Jamie. Brenda had always considered it a kiss from an angel and now she was sure of that fact.

Tonight belongs to all the children
Tonight their joy rings through the air
And so we send our tender blessings
To all the children everywhere
To see the smiles and hear the laughter
A time to give, a time to share
Because it's Christmas for now and forever
For all of the children
And for the children in our song

As the delivery was completed, Jax whispered sweet words of love to Brenda. A nurse smiled as she watched them and she then quietly interrupted their tender moment to tell Jax and Brenda that their son weighed in at five pounds, six ounces and was eighteen inches long. Brenda asked Jax to go to the NICU to see the babies so he could come back and tell her exactly what was happening with them.

Dr. Ross spoke to Jax while Brenda was in recovery and told him that the initial examinations brought hopeful news as neither twin appeared to be suffering from any respiratory problem. The morning would provide more definitive news as additional tests results would be available and the babies' ability to maintain body temperature and efficiently be fed would be better gauged. Those results would help to determine when the twins could be moved to a regular nursery and what further treatment would be necessary, if any.

As the early morning hours passed, Brenda was moved to her room. She was beyond exhausted but fought to stay alert to hear everything Jax had been told by the nurses and by Dr. Ross. The good news just added more tears to the steady stream running from Brenda's eyes. Brenda's emotions were running the gamut as they moved from joy about the twins' birth to anxiety about their health to anguish over memories of Jamie to despondency over not being with Jillian for Christmas nor being able to spend any time with the twins right now. She missed all her children so much right now it hurt.

Jax tried to get her to relax. "I know how hard it is, but we'll be able to feed them and spend time with the twins later today." He kissed away Brenda's tears. "Before that, Jillian will be here in all her glory to see you and hear all about her new brother and sister."

Brenda exhaled sharply. "She won't get to see what they look like."

"Not in person, but she'll see them." Jax pulled two polaroid pictures from his pocket. "These are for you from our little angels."

Brenda's hands trembled as she held the photos. "Look at them, they're so beautiful."

"Just like their mommy," Jax lovingly whispered as he caressed her cheek. "Thank you for giving them to me."

She turned her cheek into the softness of Jax's palm. "Thank you for giving them to me." Brenda looked at the photos again. "I know I never could talk about names until an hour ago but the names fit, don't they?"

"Perfectly," Jax responded with a nod. "Our Christmas angels, Jessica Noelle and Jonathan Christopher."

"I know we used Christopher with Jamie but it just seems right with Christmas and with Jamie in our hearts." Brenda stammered a bit. "I just feel him so much now."

Jax kissed her hand. "It's right, Brenda, and he's always with us."

Brenda took a deep breath. "Jamie's really watching over the them, isn't he?"

"He's watching over all of us." A reassuring smile covered Jax's face. "Now you need to get some rest before you see all our angels later today."

Jax sat in a chair beside the bed and stroked his fingers through her hair as she began to drift off to sleep. Brenda asked Jax to go home to be with Jillian for Christmas morning and to videotape every moment with her. He promised he would be there when Jillian awoke, but until then, he was staying with the bravest of his angels.

He kissed the side of Brenda's face as sleep was about to overtake her. "Merry Christmas, my love."

Brenda murmured as she fought sleep. "Merry Christmas Jax." A smile appeared on her face as she nodded off with the polaroids of Jessica and Jonathan beside her. "Christmas angels, just like it's supposed to be."

Tonight belongs to all the children
Tonight their joy rings through the air
And so we send our tender blessings
To all the children everywhere
To see the smiles and hear the laughter
A time to give, a time to share
Because it's Christmas for now and forever
For all of the children
And for the children in our song

Tuesday, December 25, 2001
The Jacks Residence -- 7:00am

Jax had arrived twenty minutes before and had been greeted at the door with hugs from Jane and Julia. Julia had spent the night to be an extra distraction for Jillian in case Jax had been unable to be home for Christmas morning. Jax had filled them in about his discussion with Dr. Ross and told them that Brenda had finally gotten to sleep. Jax told them that he was going to wait to tell Jillian about the babies until they went to the hospital so that he and Brenda could tell her about her new baby brother and sister together.

Jax knew that Jillian would be awake very shortly so he went into the living room and pulled a few packages from under the Christmas tree. He put the gifts into the closet and then took the camcorder off the top shelf. John came downstairs to take his morning walk and said he would be the official cameraman. Jane and Julia were going to make a big breakfast after Jillian opened her gifts and Jane informed Jax that she was going to see to it that he ate everything she put on his plate. Julia told Jax that over the next few days, she and Jane would start to get some things ready in anticipation for the babies' homecoming since Brenda had wanted everything to remain in the cedar chests in the attic until the babies had been born. Jax kissed them both and went upstairs to Jillian's room.

Lady heard Jax approaching and met him in the hallway. Jax petted her and then sent the dog downstairs to join John on his walk. He quietly entered Jillian's room and she was still sleeping. He could see that Jillian was wearing her Christmas pajamas that Brenda had bought prior to Thanksgiving when she and Jillian had taken their last shopping trip. Tucked in her arms was Roo-Roo and he was already dressed for the holiday festivities as he wore a small Santa cap on his head. Brenda had made it for the stuffed kangaroo the week before as something special for Jillian and also to occupy her time in bed. As always, Jillian looked like a sleeping angel and Jax pulled the chair next to the bed and sat down to simply watch her. She was smiling and Jax had no doubt that she had been dreaming of sugarplums all night long.

A few minutes later, as the sun began to peek through the shades, Jillian started to stir. Jillian's eyes fluttered opened and a radiant beam covered her face when she saw Jax sitting there. "Daddy, it's Christmas!"

Jax reached down and scooped Jillian into his arms. "Merry Christmas princess."

Jillian nuzzled her cheek against Jax's. "Santa and the reindeer came, I heard them."

"Where did you hear them?" Jax's eyes twinkled like sapphires as he looked at her.

"The roof," Jillian cheerfully replied. "The reindeer's paws went click, click."

Jax flashed her a big smile. "Then Santa was here."

"My presents are here," Jillian said with a smile. "Is Mommy better so she can see me open them?"

Jax reached out and touched Jillian's face. "Mommy is feeling better but she has to stay at the hospital for a few more days. We'll go see her later today."

"Mommy likes to see me open," Jillian exclaimed with a slight frown on her face.

Jax hugged her tightly. "Yes, she does but Grandpa is going to use the video camera so Mommy can see you open all your presents." He fingered one of Jillian's curls. "We'll make sure you look so pretty for Mommy."

Jillian touched the top of her pajamas. "I have my special pajamas Mommy got for me."

"They're beautiful." Jax winked at her. "We'll brush your hair and then you'll be perfect."

"I have to get my slippers so Mommy sees them in the movie," Jillian added. "Mommy says I'm a big girl `cause I don't forget now."

Jax's entire face lit up. "You are such a big girl now." He kissed the top of her head. "Mommy and I love you so much."

Jillian rested her head against Jax's chest. "Love you, Daddy."

Jax looked down at her. "Do you think it's time to check the Christmas tree to see what Santa brought?"

"Yeah presents!" Jillian climbed off of Jax's lap and scurried to the dresser to get her hair brush. "Here's my brush to make my hair pretty."

Jax brushed Jillian's curls while Jillian put on her slippers. "Okay, you're all ready."

Jillian reached across the bed and picked up Roo-Roo. "Roo-Roo is all ready too, he has his Santa hat."

"Then let's go find Grandma, Grandpa and Aunt Julia and open some presents," Jax said as he took Jillian's hand and they walked out of the bedroom.

Jane, Julia and Lady were waiting in the foyer while John was in the living room with the video camera waiting for Jillian to open the doors. Jillian clapped her hands together in excitement when Jax asked if she was ready. "Open the door and go see what Santa Claus left for you under the tree."

Jillian pushed the doors opened and squealed as she scampered across the living room carpet. "It's the big kitchen. Santa brought it to me."

Jane smiled at her. "Show us what's in your kitchen."

At that moment, there was a knock on the outside of the living room window. Jillian looked up and pointed. "Uncle Jerry's in the bushes."

John shook his head as he moved the camera around the room. "I had hoped that boy's peeping tom days were over."

"I guess I have to let him in since it's Christmas," Jax teased as he unlocked and opened the french doors.

Jerry walked in with a huge mug of coffee. "Roo, since you can't read yet, I'll tell you that there is a rule that you have to wait until after nine o'clock to open presents."

Jillian shook her head. "You're teasing me."

"Yes, he is and that is why Santa Claus brings him nothing." Jane winked at Jillian. "Show us your kitchen."

"See, there's the stove and the dishwasher to clean all my dishes." Jillian pushed the lever on the refrigerator door. "Look, the door has water just like the big refrigerator in the kitchen."

Jax knelt beside the large kitchen set. "Look at these pots and pans and all this food. You can cook us all dinner some night." He looked behind Jillian. "What else did Santa Claus bring?"

Jillian turned around and shrieked as she saw the keyboard. "A baby piano like Mommy's."

"Now you and Mommy can play music together." Julia flashed Jillian a smile. "Mommy can teach you."

A radiant beam covered Jillian's face. "Mommy teached me to play `Do, Re, Mi' just like in the movie."

"Why don't you show Mommy how you play it on the keyboard now?" John held the camera on his shoulder. "Mommy would like that."

Jax checked to make sure Santa Claus had remembered to put in the batteries and then turned it on. "It's all ready for you, princess."

"Okay, listen." Jillian's fingers touched the three keys and she sung "Do, Re, Mi" as the notes were played.

Loud applause followed and Jerry called out "Bravo!" Jillian giggled and Jax moved the keyboard away from her so that she could get to her other gifts. "That was beautiful, Jillian. Mommy will love it."

Julia sat on the floor next to Jillian. "What other surprises did Santa bring?"

"A Peter Rabbit puzzle," Jillian responded as she picked up the puzzle box. "Oh, more books." She shifted through the pile of Golden Books. "Look Aunt Julia, lots of books to read." Jillian saw the Shirley Temple movie tape at the bottom. "A Shirley movie."

Julia brushed her fingers under Jillian's chin. "We can read one after breakfast." She looked under the tree at the stack of wrapped gifts. "I see some presents with a special name on them."

"Which ones?" Jillian rubbed her hands together.

Julia handed Jillian a box wrapped with red foil. "Whose name is that?"

Jillian looked at the candy cane tag and recognized her name. "Jillian. It's for me."

"That's from Mommy and Daddy," Jax said as he sat down on the chair.

Jillian ripped off the paper and grinned at the sight of the red dress. "My pretty Christmas dress."

"You can wear it when we go to see Mommy today," Jax replied as he handed her a small box from the pile.

John looked down at Jillian. "I'll take your picture in front of the tree for Mommy when you put the dress on."

"Good, Mommy will like it." Jillian opened up the lid to find a Christmas tree charm for her bracelet. "A little Christmas tree, just like Jamie's."

Jane looked at the charm and smiled. "Yes, it's just like Jamie's tree and now you can wear it on your bracelet."

Jillian grinned at Jax and then opened up a few other boxes to find a dress for school, some art supplies and some new doll clothes for her baby dolls. There was one large box left in the corner and Jerry got up from his chair and helped Julia give it to Jillian.

"I'll help you open this one," Jerry offered as he took the army knife out of his pocket and opened up the top of the cardboard box.

John looked down from the camera. "What is it, Jillian?"

"Ballerina lamps," she replied excitedly. "I saw them in the store with Mommy."

Jax smiled at her enthusiasm. "We'll put them in your room tonight."

"What beautiful gifts from Santa Claus and Mommy and Daddy." Jane patted Jillian's shoulder. "You must have been a very good girl."

"Me and Lady are good," Jillian answered with a nod.

Jax caught the sight of Lady moving under the tree. "Someone is about to lose that label."

Jerry grabbed the dog as she dipped her head under the lowest branch of the tree. "What are you doing, beast?"

Jillian crawled under the tree and found the rawhide bone with a red bow tied around it. "Uncle Jerry, she wants her present from Santa." Julia helped Jillian untie the bow and Jillian handed the bone to the dog. "Here Lady, it's from Santa Claus but remember Mommy says you have to eat it outside."

Jax opened the terrace door and the dog's Christmas bell collar jingled as she trotted outside with her bone and Jerry muttered aloud. "Oh, for pete's sake." Julia softly laughed and Jerry nudged her with his elbow. "What are you laughing at?"

"You." Julia stopped laughing long enough to answer him. "You're still holding a grudge against that dog for knocking you into the pool last spring."

Jerry gave her an incredulous look. "And the problem with that is?"

Julia gave him a bewildered look in return. "You were tormenting the poor animal, what else would you expect her to do?"

"That beast is not to be pitied." Jerry waved his hand in the air. "She's the devil in disguise."

Julia started laughing again while Jillian shook her head vehemently at Jerry. "Lady's a good dog, she's not the devil."

"Jillian, you need a real pet -- a kangaroo." He looked at Roo-Roo who was sitting beside her and rolled his eyes at the Santa hat on the stuffed animal. "But no Santa Claus hats or jingle bell collars, kangaroos don't wear them."

"Roo-Roo likes his hat." Jillian said in an authoritative tone. "It makes him look cute."

"It certainly does," Julia said as she leaned down to Jillian. "Don't listen to Uncle Jerry, he is no fun."

Jerry rolled his eyes again. "This from the woman who considers a goldfish, a pet."

Julia shrugged. "It's more of one than those stuffed mounts you consider as such."

"No, Julia, those were his friends." A smug smile crossed Jax's face. "But you see he had to kill them first before they would even agree to that."

Jerry glared at Jax. "Jasper, your attempts at comedy fall as flat as the Sahara Desert."

"I don't know," Julia said amid her mirth. "I thought it was funny."

"Me too," Jillian exclaimed with a bob of her head as she moved over to Julia's lap.

Jerry sighed loudly. "Great, Thelma and Louise have joined up again."

John chuckled deeply while Jane smiled to herself at the interaction between Jerry and Julia. It was their customary bantering which had been anything but routine over the past several months. The sight of them together was Jane's gift for the day.

Jax cleared his throat to end round seven hundred and forty-three of the Jacks family ribbing for the year. "Jillian, Grandma and Aunt Julia are going to make breakfast and then we're going to go to see Mommy later. When we come back, we'll have dinner and you can give everyone their gifts."

Jane smiled at Jillian. "Yes, and then you can open the gifts from all of us. This way you can open all day."

"Good, I like to open." Jillian then remembered something and looked up at Jax. "My stocking, I forgot to look."

Jax stood up. "Well, let's go see what Santa put in there."

Jillian got up from Julia's lap and quickly disappeared from the living room with Jax, John and Jane behind her. Julia rubbed her leg which had fallen asleep sitting on the floor. She then found Jerry in front of her as he extended his hand to help her up.

Julia took his hand and she rose to her feet. "Thank you."

His hand did not surrender its hold of Julia's hand. "I know she misses Brenda but Roo seems all right to me this morning."

"Yes, she does," Julia replied with a nod. "You were great with her last night."

"So were you." Jerry's eyes met hers. "I'm glad you were here for her."

Julia exhaled softly. "I'm glad we both were."

Jerry was caught up in the blue of her eyes. "Me too."

They stood there as the twinkling lights of the Christmas tree danced along their faces. Their eyes locked in an intense gaze and, without words, the distance between their bodies quickly evaporated as their heads moved together. When there was but the width of an eyelash between Jerry and Julia's lips, the sound of Jillian's voice echoed through the hallway as she called out for them. Jerry let go of Julia's hand and they took a step back from each other. With everyone else following behind her, Jillian came back into the living room. She showed Jerry and Julia the stickers, magic markers, mittens, new toothbrush and Santa lollipop from her stocking.

Julia wondered if her face was red from the warmth her body had felt while in Jerry's arms. "Jillian, Santa left you great gifts in your stocking."

"You're going to need that toothbrush after eating that lollipop," Jerry teased as he walked toward Jillian.

"Speaking of food, I think it is time to get breakfast started." Jane questioned Jillian. "I bet you're hungry?"

Jillian bobbed her head up and down. "I'm hungry."

"You can help us then," Julia stated as she took Jillian's hand.

"I wanna help." Jillian smiled. "Mommy says I'm a good helper."

John put the video camera down. "We'll all help."

"That's a good idea." Jane looked at Jax and read his thoughts. "We'll go into the kitchen and you can join us after you check in with the hospital."

Jax grinned as he winked at Jane. "I will see you in a few minutes."

Jillian took Julia's hand in one and Jerry's in the other and walked between them toward the kitchen. John put his arm around Jane and shared her smile as they followed behind. Jax reached for the phone on the table and dialed the number he had for the nurses' station on the obstetrical floor. After informing Jax that Brenda was resting comfortably, the nurse transferred the call to the neonatal nursery where Jax found out that the twins were stable and both sleeping. Jax clicked off the phone as he stood at the terrace doors and saw the sun rising in the sky. His head then turned to catch a glimpse of Jamie's tree in the side yard and Jax smiled as he saw Snowflake still sitting atop the tree. As Jax walked toward the door to join the rest of the family in the kitchen, he peacefully sighed. Christmas had never been so joyous.

General Hospital -- 12:30pm

Brenda tried to get comfortable in bed and then grimaced as she was reminded of the several stitches her body now possessed. She took a deep breath and picked up the polaroids of Jessica and Jonathan again. The twins were twelve hours old now and Brenda's arms ached to hold them. The emptiness that her arms had felt over the past few hours had renewed memories of the devastation of losing Jamie. Although Brenda's mind knew that the two situations were completely disparate, the suffering in her heart felt the same. Brenda's shoulders shook as a cascade of tears streamed down her face. Between her exhaustion, hormones, memories and the holiday, Brenda's emotions were overwhelming her.

Jax entered the room put down the bag he was carrying. He quickly moved to Brenda's bed and his arms enveloped her in a tender embrace. "Sweetie, what is it?"

"I'm just falling apart," Brenda murmured as she rested her head against Jax's chest.

"All those emotions are just jumbled now, you're going to be fine." His hands massaged Brenda's back.

Her voice was barely audible. "I want to feed our babies not a breast pump."

"I know how hard it is, but it will be just a little while longer until you're with them." Jax rested his chin atop Brenda's head. "I just talked to Paige in the nursery and she says the next feeding is yours."

Brenda's hands gripped the back of Jax's shoulders tightly. "I just want to tell Jessica and Jonathan that we love them."

"Our angels know that, sweetie," Jax whispered as he rocked her in his arms. "They felt that from the first moment."

"I hope so." Her voice wavered with emotion. "I love them so much."

"They love you too and you're going to feel better the moment you see them." Jax kissed the top of her head. "In the meantime, I think another little visitor will do wonders for you."

Brenda pulled away from his grasp. "Jillian's here?'

"She's with Mum and Dad and they had a stop to make before coming up," Jax replied as he brushed back Brenda's hair from her face. "I promised I would let her tell you everything about Santa Claus."

A smile came to Brenda's face as she wiped away her tears. "I'm a mess."

Jax lifted up Brenda's chin so that she was looking directly into his eyes. "You're beautiful, so beautiful."

"Honey, you're so sweet but now I need you to help me look presentable." Brenda gritted her teeth as she tried to pull herself up in bed.

"Easy, sweetie," Jax said as he helped Brenda sit up against the pillows. "Rest for a minute and I'll get what you need."

Jax brought out a wet washcloth from the bathroom and opened up Brenda's suitcase and removed the hairbrush. She washed her tear-stained face while Jax brushed her hair so that Brenda could pull it up into a ponytail. Brenda did and then Jax helped her into her robe.

Brenda coated her chapped lips with lip balm. "Will I scare the poor child?"

The corner of Jax's mouth curled up into a smile. "Just a little, but she is relatively fearless like her mother."

She swatted Jax's arm and then cocked her head at the sound of small, clicking heels approaching. "I know those clicks," Brenda exclaimed with a radiant beam.

Jax got up and walked into the hall to meet Jane and Jillian. "Mommy's waiting for you, princess."

"Grandma helped me get the flowers," Jillian uttered as she tightly held the small basket of flowers. "And she has my backpack hiding Mommy's present."

Jane handed him the backpack. "Your father and I will be back in a little while." She exchanged a look with Jax. "We'll check the other end of the floor to see what's happening there."

"Thanks Mum." Jax winked at Jane and then knelt down beside Jillian. "Are you ready to see Mommy?"

Jillian bobbed her head up down. "Yes, Daddy, I want to see Mommy now."

"Then let's go," Jax replied as he took Jillian's hand.

They walked into the room and Brenda wondered why she had even bothered to wash her face since she felt the tears stinging her eyes again. "Jillian, come see me!"

"Mommy!" Jillian immediately moved beside the bed. "Here's pretty flowers for you."

"Thank you, they are so pretty." Brenda sniffed back her tears as she took the basket. "Merry Christmas Jillian! Look at how beautiful you look in that dress."

Jillian twirled around. "My dress spins and Daddy said I could wear my new tights."

Jax took the flowers from Brenda and put them on the table and then lifted Jillian up so that Brenda could kiss her cheeks. "I missed you so much, sweetheart."

Jillian grinned broadly. "Mommy, Santa Claus came."

Brenda kissed Jillian's cheek again. "Come sit here beside me so you can tell me all about Christmas and what Santa Claus brought for you."

Jax smiled at Jillian as he gingerly positioned her beside Brenda. "Just be careful, princess. Remember that Mommy is not all better yet so we have to be gentle."

"That's perfect," Brenda said as she took Jillian's hand in hers. "Now tell me everything about what you did last night with Aunt Julia and then what you did today."

"My cards," Jillian's eyes widened as she looked at Jax. "They're in my backpack."

Jax unzipped the backpack and handed Jillian the cards as he sat at the end of Brenda's bed. "Here you go, princess."

Jillian gave Brenda the two cards. "These are your cards, Mommy. Aunt Julia helped me."

"Let's see," Brenda murmured as she opened up the first card. "Look at the pretty picture and I see that you wrote your name perfectly."

Jillian smiled and then picked up the other card. "Here is the other one."

Brenda looked at the Christmas tree in the center of the card. "Look at the tree."

Jillian nodded. "Aunt Julia drawed it and I colored the decorations."

"The decorations are the best part," Brenda said as she stroked Jillian's cheek.

"It's just like Jamie's tree," Jillian explained as she pointed to the red blobs on the paper. "See the red hearts. She looked up at Brenda. "That's Lady and Snowflake's card."

Brenda looked at the bottom of the card and saw the Jillian had printed Lady's name at the bottom and below it, in Julia's handwriting, was Snowflake's name. "Thank you for helping Lady and Snowflake with the card."

A glow resonated from Jillian's face. "Aunt Julia helped too, Snowflake's name is sooo many letters."

"I love my cards." Brenda ignored the pain of her stitches to hug Jillian. "Now what else did you and Aunt Julia do?"

"Aunt Julia watched the Rudolph movie with me and then Uncle Jerry came and we had pizza." Jillian took a deep breath. "And we ate cookies and put some on a plate for Santa and carrots for the reindeer. Aunt Julia poured the milk for Santa and then she cooked hot chocolate. I put the baby marshmallows in the cups."

"You had such a busy night." Brenda flashed her a smile. "Did you have fun?"

Jillian bobbed her head up and down. "Lots but Uncle Jerry teased me and Roo-Roo."

Brenda bit her bottom lip to suppress her mirth. "What did Uncle Jerry tease you and Roo-Roo about?"

"Roo-Roo's hat," Jillian responded as she put her hands on her hips. "He says Roo-Roo's Goofy."

Brenda exchanged a grin with Jax as she ran her hand through Jillian's curls. "What did you tell Uncle Jerry about that?"

"He's Roo-Roo, not Goofy." Jillian sighed loudly. "Roo-Roo is a kangaroo not a dog like Goofy is. Uncle Jerry is sooo silly."

"He certainly is," Jax quipped as he winked at Jillian. "I think we need to let Uncle Jerry borrow your animal book so that he can learn the difference between a dog and a kangaroo."

"Aunt Julia said Uncle Jerry only knows about mules." Jillian put her hand in front of her mouth as she giggled. "Uncle Jerry told her she was in trouble."

A curious grin appeared on Brenda's face. "What else did Uncle Jerry say to Aunt Julia?"

Jillian giggled again. "He said Aunt Julia liked slugs on her pizza."

Brenda nodded her head. "Did Uncle Jerry and Aunt Julia have fun taking care of you for Mommy and Daddy?"

Jax shook his finger at Brenda as he mouthed to her, "You are too much."

"Yes," Jillian answered with a bob of her head. "They weren't sad anymore."

Brenda's eyes gleamed as she tweaked Jillian's nose. "I'm so glad you helped them not be sad."

Jillian's mouth curved into a proud smile. "Uncle Jerry came to see me open presents."

Brenda prodded her. "Tell me everything you found under the tree."

"Santa gave me the big kitchen just like I asked him to." Jillian rubbed her hands together excitedly. "And my baby piano, Mommy, just like yours."

"I'm so happy that Santa brought what you wanted." Brenda flashed her an ecstatic smile. "I can't wait to see them."

"I got books and a Shirley move and some puzzles." Jillian rattled off more gifts. "Santa gave me a jump rope and a new toothbrush too."

Brenda looked at Jax. "Well, Daddy, I guess Santa must have known what a good girl Jillian has been."

Jax nodded his head. "Yes, Santa was a hit today." He turned to Jillian. "Princess, what about the other gifts you opened?"

"Mommy, I got pretty ballerina lamps in a box and a new school dress." Jillian sighed contentedly. "And stickers."

"I'm glad you liked them, sweetheart." Brenda kissed the top of her head. "When I come home we'll watch the tape from the video camera so I can see you open everything."

She patted Brenda's hand. "I gave Lady her bone from Santa, she liked it." Jillian smiled at Brenda. "And me and Daddy gave Snowflake toast for his present."

"You did?" Brenda felt her heart flutter. "Did he like your present?"

Jillian held out her hand. "Snowflake ate all the pieces in my hand." She looked up at Brenda and smiled. "He gave me a present for you."

"A present for me?" Brenda felt her breath catch in her throat.

Jillian's eyes twinkled as she reached into the pocket of her dress. "Here it is, Snowflake's feather."

Brenda took the soft feather from Jillian's hand. "Thank you, it's perfect."

"I made you a present, Mommy." Jillian spoke in an enthusiastic tone. "It's in my backpack."

Jax held the backpack out to Jillian and she took out the gift and handed it to Brenda. "It's for you and Daddy."

Brenda looked at the box which had been covered with what appeared to be half of a roll of aluminum foil. There were stickers and a few feet of masking tape wrapped all around it to give it some semblance of a rectangular shape. "Oh, what a beautiful box."

Jax put his hand on Jillian's foot. "Yes, look how shiny it is."

Brenda finally found an end to the masking tape and unwound it so that the foil broke free from the box. It was an old white shoe box from the summer sandals that Jillian had outgrown and Jillian had put stickers and colored with magic markers on the top of the box. "Look at the pretty colors you drew." Brenda opened the box to find nothing but the tissue paper which had been originally to wrap around the sandals.

Jillian chewed on her lip as she trembled a bit with excitement. "Do you like it, Mommy and Daddy?"

Jax cleared his throat. "Of course we like it, princess. Look at the beautiful picture on top of the box."

"The present's inside," Jillian announced. She lifted the lid off again. "There's kisses in there."

"Kisses?" Brenda's voice was soft as she questioned Jillian. "Kisses for Daddy and me?"

Jillian's face was aglow as she nodded. "I blowed kisses in there so you and Daddy can have them when I'm at school."

The tears came again as Brenda hugged her. "That's about the best gift I've ever had. Thank you so much, my sweet angel."

Jax stood up and gently eased her from Brenda's arms. He held Jillian tightly in his embrace and kissed the sides of her face. "Princess, it's perfect. Thank you."

Brenda wiped away her tears. "I think there is something here for you too, Jillian."

"Another present?" Jillian's face lit up.

Jax put Jillian back on the bed and then pulled a wrapped box from the bag he had brought from home. "This is from Mommy and Daddy too."

Jillian tore open the wrapping paper and found a small diaper bag. When she unzipped it, she found baby bottles, diapers, rattles, bibs and other paraphernalia for her baby dolls. "It's for my baby dolls."

Brenda nodded. "That's right and Mommy will have a big one for the babies with bottles and rattles and bibs so the two of us will match."

"I wanna help with the babies too," Jillian declared. "I carried Bryndie's bottle for Aunt Lucy."

"Yes, you did, so you can help." Brenda touched Jillian's face. "Mommy and Daddy have another present for you."

"Another one?" Jillian was almost giddy. "I love presents."

Jax moved up closer to Brenda on the bed and sat Jillian in his lap. "This one is very, very special."

Brenda exhaled softly and then began speaking. "Jillian, I had to come to the hospital because it was time for the babies to be born. They're not in my tummy anymore."

Jax's face brightened. "Jillian, you have a little brother and a little sister and they were born when you were sleeping."

She touched Brenda's stomach. "Mommy, the babies aren't in here?"

"No, they were born so they are in the hospital now." Brenda tucked a curl behind Jillian's ear. "The twins are in a special place where they take their naps."

A delighted beam instantly was displayed on Jillian's face. "I wanna see them."

"Princess, you can't see them today." Jax turned Jillian's face so she could see him. "The doctors are taking care of them now but soon, they will be able to come home."

"But we can show you their pictures." Brenda reached under the pillow and pulled out the polaroids. "This is your sister, Jessica, and this is your brother, Jonathan."

Jillian looked between the two pictures. "They have hats like Snoopy."

Jax chuckled. "Those are to keep their heads warm since they are just little babies."

Jillian smiled as she touched both of the twins' faces in the photographs. "They look pretty, just like my baby dolls."

"They are pretty, just like you were." Brenda kissed Jillian's cheek. "And they love you already."

Jax pulled out the last of the boxes from the bag. "This gift is very special too, it's from Jessica and Jonathan to their big sister for all the help you gave Mommy when they were in her tummy."

Jillian's hands shook as she turned to Brenda. "Mommy, Jessica and Jonathan got me a present."

"I told you that the babies love you already." Brenda sighed in happiness. "Why don't you open the box?"

She peeled away the paper and then opened the lid to the box. "Mommy, look." Jillian's voice was euphoric as she pulled out the music box. "The ballerina box."

"A special present for a special big sister." Brenda's heart leapt at the joy on Jillian's face.

"It's so beautiful, Jillian." Jax squeezed her shoulder and then wound the knob on the bottom of the box.

Music began playing and Jillian was mesmerized as she watched the tiny pink ballerina pirouette to the sound of the music. When the melodious tune finally stopped, Jillian turned to Jax and Brenda and smiled. "I love the babies and my present." She then picked up the photos and blew kisses at both of them. "Now Jessica and Jonathan have kisses too."

"We all have kisses," Jax murmured as he strengthened his grasp of Brenda's left hand.

"We all have just about everything," Brenda whispered while she wrapped her right arm around Jillian and spied both the kisses box and the soft feather next to her. It suddenly truly felt like Christmas.

General Hospital -- 3:30pm

Dr. Jacobs had been into examine Brenda a half hour before and had been pleased that her blood pressure had lowered from the morning numbers. He discontinued her IV and approved her trip to the nursery as soon as Dr. Ross gave the approval. That approval had just arrived with Dr. Ross' visit as he gave Jax and Brenda the latest update on the twins' progress. Jonathan's body temperature had remained stable so he was no longer in a warming bed while Jessica's temperature was still not completely stable so she had remained in hers. Jonathan was anemic but was being given iron and he was feeding well from a bottle. Jessica was still learning and Dr. Ross wanted Brenda to nurse her on this trip to the nursery to see how Jessica responded to that.

Now that the wait was finally about over, Brenda's patience was non-existent. She was dressed in her robe and slippers and was fidgeting in bed as she waited for a wheelchair.

Jax flashed her a lopsided grin. "Should we practice some breathing exercises?"

"Do something useful," she said in mock indignation, "Go hijack a wheelchair."

"No hijacking will be necessary, your transportation is here, Mrs. Jacks." The orderly pushed the wheelchair into the room.

Brenda let out a little squeal and grimaced as she moved her legs over the side of the bed. "Take it easy, sweetie," Jax murmured as he stopped her from catapulting from the bed. "Jessica and Jonathan want to see you smile, not suffer in pain."

Jax helped ease Brenda off the bed and into the wheelchair and then persuaded the orderly to let him chauffeur Brenda to the nursery. When they arrived, Paige was standing next to Jessica's warming bed, making notations on her chart. Paige turned around and introduced herself to Brenda and said hello again to Jax. "Jessica and Jonathan have been waiting to see you."

"They're really here." Brenda's voice was filled with emotion.

Jax caressed the back of Brenda's neck. "They're here and they're beautiful."

Brenda's hands trembled as she looked at Jessica fussing in the warming bed while Jonathan was sleeping peacefully in a regular isolette beside her. "Jessica, what's the matter?"

"Jessica just had a blood test and she is still voicing her dissension about it." Paige's mouth curved up into a smile. "She is quick to let us know exactly how she thinks."

Jax chuckled. "She will fit right in with her sister then."

"Now Jonathan is much more even-tempered thus far except when it is time to be fed." Paige looked down at Jonathan. "When he is ready to eat, the whole floor knows it."

A soft laugh fell from Brenda's lips. "Well, he will fit right in with his father then."

Jessica continued to fuss and Brenda moved her index finger to the baby's cheek and gently stroked it. "It's okay, sweetheart, it's okay."

"We have a rocking chair ready for you so you can hold her and feed her." Paige looked down at Brenda with a comforting smile. "I know that will make you both feel much better."

Jax pushed the wheelchair over to the pair of rockers and helped Brenda stand up and sit down again. Paige then lifted Jessica from her bed and handed her to Brenda. "Here she is."

Two huge tears slowly rolled down Brenda's cheeks as he looked down at the baby's sweet face. "Hello Jessica, it's Mommy and I've been waiting so long to see you." She kissed the baby's forehead and her voice shook. "I love you so much and so does Daddy. He's right here too."

Jax stroked the baby's cheek. "Hey there, pumpkin. You were sleeping when I saw you earlier."

Jessica yawned and tried to stretch her arms. Brenda lifted her up. "No sleeping, Mommy has to feed you."

At that moment, the sound of a cry was heard behind them as Jonathan made his presence known. A huge grin appeared on Jax's face. "It sounds like someone is unhappy that he has not been invited for dinner."

Paige walked over to the isolette and picked up Jonathan. "What did I tell you about the this little one's penchant for feeding time?"

"Let me take Jess for a minute so you can hold him." Jax reached over and took his daughter into his arms. "Hello beautiful."

Paige placed Jonathan in Brenda's arms as more tears fell from Brenda's eyes. "Hello my sweet baby." His skin was red but you could see already that Jonathan's coloring was going to be the duplicate of his father's and that dimple was there in all of its glory. Brenda blinked back her tears as she looked over at Jax. "Jax.... he looks ....."

"I know, baby." Jax's eyes glistened with their own tears. "Maybe Jamie had something to do with that too?"

Brenda's face lit up even more. "Maybe he did." Jonathan began to cry again and Brenda kissed his cheek as she whispered to him. "Mommy has you, it's all right, sweetheart."

Jessica's eyes opened wide at the sound of her fussing brother beside her. She looked up into Jax's eyes and he felt his heart lurch in his chest. Jessica's eyes were huge and looked like expressive, round saucers. They were so dark in hue that they almost looked violet in the light. At this moment the color was different, but they were Brenda's eyes in every other fashion and Jax instantly drowned in the dancing pools. One day, someone was going to be looking right into their own soul when they looked into Jessica's eyes just like Jax felt when he looked at Brenda.

Through her tears, Brenda saw the expression on Jax's face. "What is it?"

"Her eyes...," Jax's tone was barely above a whisper, "It's like looking at you."

Brenda smiled. "You father told me the same thing but I see your mother with those cheekbones and her coloring."

"You've got your Mommy and sister's nose." Jax brushed his finger against Jessica's nose. "You are so beautiful."

Jonathan's screaming hit a higher decibel and Brenda hugged him. "Daddy's going to feed you this time." She looked at Jax. "But first let me see both my angels in their daddy's arms."

Brenda placed Jonathan in the crook of Jax's arm while Jax positioned Jessica against his other elbow. Her shaking fingers lightly touched her lips as she choked back a sob. "I've never seen anything more beautiful."

Jax's felt his heart melt at the pure joy covering Brenda's face. "If you had a mirror, you would."

Brenda reached out and touched Jax's face and whispered, "I love you," and Jax mouthed the same to her.

As the twins both made their presence known, Paige brought a bottle for Jax to feed Jonathan and helped Brenda position Jessica to nurse her. They spent the next half hour in the nursery and then Brenda was forced to say good-bye to her tiny angels again. She brushed away her tears as Jax wheeled her back to the room and then helped her back into bed.

Jax cupped her cheek with his palm. "It's okay, sweetie. You'll be back to see them soon."

"You should go home and spend some time with Jillian," Brenda declared. "I am sure Jane is exhausted."

"Mum loves it." Jax flashed her a smile. "She is still reveling in the news of her new grandchildren."

Brenda returned his smile. "She was happy and I'm so glad she and John liked the names."

"They loved them," Jax murmured as he caressed her cheek. "Naming Jessica and Jonathan after my grandparents was perfect. Thank you."

"Besides Julia, your family is the only one I've ever had." Brenda sighed in contentment as she rested her head against the pillow. "I want our children to know all about their family."

Jax leaned down and kissed her lightly on the mouth. "I love you."

Brenda touched his face. "I love you too."

"I have something for you," Jax said as he reached into his pocket. "It is Christmas after all and you have been quite busy."

She sighed deeply. "Honey, I don't have anything here...."

Jax interrupted her. "You have just given me the two most beautiful and perfect gifts that anyone ever could."

"Well, then if you put it that way," Brenda responded with a soft laugh.

Jax handed Brenda the small box and she unwrapped the gold foil. When she opened the velvet box inside, she gasped out loud. "Oh my..."

Jax removed the pendant from the box. It was three interlocking diamond hearts which formed a much smaller heart in the center. The center heart was made from a perfect ruby. "For the mother of my children and the woman I love with every ounce of my heart." He fastened the necklace around her neck. "Three hearts for Jillian, Jessica and Jonathan and then in the center of it all, there's Jamie."

"Oh, Jax." More tears fell and Brenda decided she had just better get used to them. "It's the most beautiful thing I've ever seen."

"Ricardo said you had better say that since I had him open up the store so I could pick it up this morning. Jax laughed. "He had finished it last week but thought he had time to deliver it. He says the babies don't know the calendar."

Brenda laughed and then hugged Jax. "Thank you my darling."

Jax hugged her in return. "Thank you my love."

Monday, December 31, 2001
The Jacks Residence -- 4:00pm

It had been a long and hectic week but the twins were finally being discharged late this afternoon. There had been some ups and downs along the way but Jessica and Jonathan were finally coming home where they belonged. Jessica had finally mastered the reflex of sucking and Jonathan's jaundice had reached a level which would allow him to go home. Brenda had been discharged from the hospital four days ago but she had not come back to the house. Instead, she and Jax had been staying in the penthouse suite at The Port Charles Hotel so that they would be only a few blocks from the hospital. Jillian had spent the first night with them at the hotel but then had spent the past two with Lois and Ned. John and Jane had remained at the house to oversee the remodeling of the two guest rooms next to the master suite.

Part of the wall was knocked down to make the area one large two room suite. Once Brenda felt comfortable enough to have the twins out of the master suite, the newly renovated guest suite would become the nursery with a separate sleeping area and living area. When the twins became older, the partially removed wall could be replaced to give each child a separate room. Although Brenda had never been able to discuss or make plans for the twins' homecoming until she was certain that there would be, she knew Jax had plans in place with the architect. Jane had taken care of ordering an additional cradle, dresser, rocking chair and other necessities to match the existing nursery furniture that Jillian had used. After Jessica and Jonathan had safely arrived, Brenda had picked out the paint and wallpaper and the room had been completed the day before.

Now it was time for the festivities to celebrate Jessica and Jonathan's homecoming. Jillian had considered the party comparable to a birthday party and had termed it a "homeday party" since the twins were coming home. She had insisted on two cakes, one for each of the twins. Josee had baked them in the morning before she had left for the holiday. Jerry had been telling Jillian all afternoon that she just wanted two cakes from which to snitch the icing herself and John had told her that she was a smart big sister if that were true. Jillian was finishing the last homecoming pictures for the party while Julia was arranging the balloons and flowers. Jane and Julia had prepared an informal meal and it all seemed ideal as the twins' homecoming provided the perfect way to ring in the new year.

The phone rang and Jane picked it up in the kitchen as she checked on dinner. It was Jax alerting everyone that the crew was on their way home. Jane announced the impending arrival and Julia helped Jillian hang the last picture. Winter seemed to have finally arrived this afternoon as a stiff wind and falling temperatures joined the gray skies so Jerry built a fire in the fireplace. Lastly, Jane went upstairs to ensure that everything was just as it should be in the master suite and in the new nursery for Brenda to see. The living room area of the master suite had been rearranged to provide room for the rocking chair and changing table and two bassinets had been placed in the bedroom area for the twins first few weeks at home. Jax had ordered bouquets of flowers to adorn the master suite since Brenda would be spending a significant amount of time there over the next several days.

Lady began to bark in the kitchen at the sound of a car in the driveway. Jillian recognized the dog's proclamation of Jax and Brenda's arrival. She scurried out of the den just as Jane was descending the stairs and Julia was coming out of the kitchen. "Mommy and the babies are here."

Jane took Jillian's hand. "Yes, they are but we have to give them a lot of room to come inside."

Jerry and John went outside to help while Jane and Julia waited with Jillian in the foyer. Julia watched through the window as Jax helped Brenda get out of the car. He unfastened the car seat carrier and Brenda covered the baby with a blanket and headed for the door. Julia opened the front door as Brenda came up the steps.

Jillian wiggled in the corner as Brenda entered the house. "Mommy!"

"Hello sweetheart," Brenda responded with a huge smile. "Look at these beautiful pictures and balloons."

A beam covered Jillian's face. "It's the party."

"Thank you so much for the party." Brenda motioned toward the living room. "Come sit on the couch with me and meet your baby sister."

Jillian followed behind Brenda while Julia opened the door again for John as he toted a suitcase and numerous other bags into the house. Jax then walked inside carrying Jonathan's car seat carrier while Jerry put the last of the bags onto the sidewalk and then moved the car into the garage.

Brenda had removed the blanket from covering Jessica and Jillian was sitting on the couch looking at the baby. Brenda unzipped the snuggler and Jessica yawned as Brenda pushed the hood off her head. "Jillian, this is Jessica."

"Jessica yawned at me," Jillian said with a giggle.

"She sure did," Brenda said as she put her hand on Jillian's shoulder. "Jessica's tired, she just had her first car ride."

"So did your brother." Jax walked into the living room and put the carrier next to Jessica's. Jonathan fussed while Jax took off his hood. "This little peanut is your brother, Jonathan."

Jillian laughed. "Like at the circus with the elephants."

Jax nodded his head. "Just like that."

Jonathan squirmed and his eyes fluttered open for a moment as Jillian gazed at him. "Jonathan's eyes look like me."

"Jessica's eyes do too." She brushed her fingers under Jillian's chin. "You'll see how pretty they are when she is awake."

"Can I touch the babies?" Jillian held up her hands. "I washed my hands with lots of bubbles."

Brenda laughed softly as she nodded her head. "Just remember, not the top of their heads."

Jillian traced her finger along Jessica's cheekbone and then Jonathan's. "It's soft like Lady's ears."

"Yes, the baby's skin is very soft." Brenda touched Jillian's cheek. "Yours is soft too."

A realization came into Jillian's head. "We need to show the babies to Lady."

Brenda bobbed her head. "We'll do that tomorrow as a surprise for Lady when the babies aren't so tired."

Jillian turned to Julia who was standing beside the couch. "Aunt Julia, come feel the babies. They're so soft."

"The babies are very beautiful." Julia smiled at Jillian as she leaned down and caressed the cheeks of the twins. "They are also very soft."

Brenda flashed Julia a big smile. "Would you like to set your niece free from her car seat jail and hold her?"

Julia surprised herself a bit as she automatically reached down and unlocked the seat and lifted the swaddled infant into her arms. "It's wonderful to meet you, Jessica Noelle."

"Grandpa, it's your turn as well," Jax announced as he took Jonathan out of the seat and placed the baby into John's arms.

John's trademark chuckle echoed in the room. "My boy, do we have some stories to tell you."

Jillian saw Jerry come into the den after putting the bags upstairs. "Uncle Jerry, that's my new sister and brother."

"Well, Roo, I see you have munchkins to pick on." Jerry smiled at Jillian but his eyes were fixated on Julia as he walked over to the couch. "I can give you some pointers about being the oldest in the family."

A smirk appeared on Jax's face. "Jillian, do the opposite of whatever Uncle Jerry says. You're going to be a wonderful older sister for the peanut and the pumpkin."

Jillian grinned. "Jessica's a pumpkin and Jonathan's a peanut."

"We'll have to keep Jonathan away from the elephants for awhile," Jerry replied with a wink. "We don't want the elephants to accidentally eat him for a snack."

"Nobody's eating the babies," Jillian said in a matter of fact tone. "Me and Mommy and Daddy and Lady are taking care of 'em."

Brenda pulled Jillian into her arms. "That's right, we're all going to take good care of them."

Jonathan began fussing again and Jillian leaned over him and kissed him on the cheek as John held the baby. "Now, you're all better."

"That was very nice, sweetie, but he's hungry too." Brenda put her arm around Jillian's waist. "It's time for me to take Jessica and Jonathan upstairs so they can eat and take a nap."

"I wanna come too," Jillian declared as Jax went into the kitchen to warm up a bottle of Brenda's milk for the impending feeding.

Brenda nodded. "You can come and you can help Mommy by asking Grandmom if she also wants to come and give Jessica a bottle while I feed Jonathan."

Jillian scrambled over to Jane. "Grandma, you wanna come with us?"

"I would love to come with you," Jane replied as her eyes gleamed.

Jonathan's cries became louder and Jax came back into the living room with the bottle. "Peanut, you have made your point. Dinner is coming."

Jerry walked over to John and looked down at Jonathan. "You can stop that ruckus, your mother's going to feed you and from the looks of her, that dairy ain't closing anytime soon." He winked at Brenda and then addressed Jonathan again. "I think we ought to start calling her the dairy queen."

"Jerry, you always have had such a way with words," Brenda responded with a shake of her head.

"Yes, he also had the stitches and broken bones to prove it." Jax asserted as he gave Jillian the bottle. "Princess, you can hold this for Grandmom to feed Jessica. Hold on tight to the bottle." Jax then took Jonathan into his arms.

"Here's Grandmom and she's going to feed you," Julia whispered as she kissed Jessica and then handed her to Jane.

"It's time to confront those stairs," Brenda said with a sigh.

Jerry helped Brenda get up from the couch as Jax put Jonathan over his shoulder. Jax placed his arm on Brenda's back and he guided her out of the living room. Jillian, carrying Jessica's bottle as if it were hand-blown glass, walked in front of Jane up the steps. Jax supported Brenda's back as she slowly ascended the stairs.

When they reached the top of the stairs, Brenda moved down the hallway and stopped in the doorway to the Angel room. Her eyes surveyed the perimeter and a contented sigh fell from Brenda's lips as she saw only brightness and love in the room. There had been so many times over the past several months that Brenda's fears about the pregnancy had caused her to worry that once again, she would only feel grief and heartache in the room but that had not happened. Today, it seemed even brighter and more joyful than before. Suddenly the faint sound of the familiar melody reverberated through the air. Brenda walked inside the room and stood in front of the window as the darkness of the evening was about to descend upon Port Charles. There was still enough daylight to see Snowflake sitting atop Jamie's tree and Brenda's face gleamed at the sight. Her heart was brimming with love at the understanding of just how much Jamie and the angels had been watching over them all.

With a glance back at the wall of family photos where pictures of the two newest members would soon be, Brenda ambled out of the Angel room and walked down the hall into the new nursery. She sighed with delight at the sight of the beautiful room. It was warm and bright and instinctively Brenda knew that the twins would enjoy their new home.

Jax put his hand on her shoulder. "Is it what you wanted?"

Brenda nodded her head as she wrapped her arms around herself. "Yes, it hugs you like you would hug a trusted friend or a tattered teddy bear." Her voice wavered a bit. "It's perfect."

The sound of Jonathan's impatient fussing ended the tour and Brenda went into the master suite next door. Jax put Jonathan on the bed for a moment while he helped Brenda get comfortable in bed. Jillian proudly gave Jane the bottle for Jessica once Jane was settled in the rocking chair beside the bed. Jax kissed Jonathan and then gave him to Brenda. Jillian crawled up into Brenda's bed and sat beside her and watched her nurse Jonathan. Jax walked into the living room of the suite but turned around to silently watch the scene before him.

Jillian smiled when she looked up at Brenda. "He's all quiet."

Brenda bobbed her head. "When your brother gets hungry, he tells everyone in the room."

Jane smiled as she remembered moments like these from thirty years before. "Jax was the same way from the first day he was born."

"He's like Daddy," Jillian said with a little laugh.

"Just like Daddy," Brenda replied with an echoing laugh.

There was something so special about the moment that Jax wondered if his heart would burst. After they had lost Jamie, Jax had wondered if the house would ever be so filled with joy again and today he had his answer. The joy had returned in double magnitude and now they knew just how precious the jubilation was and every second of it would be cherished as if it were their last. As the sound of Snowflake's singing continued, Jax knew it was just another gift that Jamie had given them all.

Downstairs, Julia had hung up Jax and Brenda's coats and she walked back into the living room. It was quiet and the Christmas tree lights provided a glistening sparkle to the room. Julia looked down at the car seat carriers and saw the blue and pink snugglers which had cloaked the twins from the winter air. Her fingers brushed against the soft material of Jonathan's snuggler. She reached down and picked it up and then brought the snuggler to her face. It already possessed the intoxicating smell of a baby and Julia felt the pain in her heart grow.

She was startled at the sound of Jerry's murmur behind her. "Are you all right?"

"Sometimes, yes, and sometimes, no." Julia did not turn around to face Jerry as the whispered response fell from her lips. Her suddenly shaking hands placed the snuggler back into the car seat. "It depends on how unfair life seems at any given moment. How's that for an answer?"

"An honest one," Jerry replied as he moved directly behind her. "You couldn't have said that four months ago."

Julia turned around. "I couldn't have said a lot of things four months ago. So much has happened..."

A ragged sigh fell from Jerry's lips. "Maybe you just needed to get away from me?"

"No," Julia felt his heart in her throat. "I needed to get away from me and I didn't know any other way to do it." Tears were burning her eyes as she continued. "I've made so many mistakes, I've hurt you so much."

"If you've been able to sort some things out, I truly am happy for you." Jerry took a deep breath and his voice wavered a bit as he spoke. "I just wish I could have been there. It hurts that I couldn't be."

"You were with me more than you'll ever know." The tears now spilled down Julia's cheeks. "I told you that you weren't and told myself the same thing but you were with me all the time. I thought I was running away from you but Melanie has since shown me that all of this way an attempt to run toward you."

"Melanie?" Jerry moistened his parched lips. "You went to see her?"

Julia nodded her head as she sniffed back her tears. "You were right, I should have gone to talk to her months before." She exhaled sharply. "I was just so entrenched in my own self pity, I wasn't ready to give it up. You always did curse my intractable thinking and this time, it cost me so much."

"Intractability." Involuntarily, the corner of Jerry's mouth curved up into a smile. "Didn't I tell you to lose that word when I met you? Then there is also..."

Julia put up her hand to stop him. "You were right, but about ONLY that," Julia said as she cleared her throat. "Let's not get carried away here."

"Here we go again." Jerry's heart fluttered at the realization that Julia could still agitate him and make him smile at the same time more than anyone he had ever met.

Julia brushed back a loose strand of hair from her face. "I didn't mean for any of this to come out today but it has now."

"We do need to talk but this isn't the time or the place." Jerry's eyes met hers. "We could talk tomorrow. You could come to the house."

"I'd like that." Julia flashed him a small smile as she wiped away the last remnants of her tears. "I should check on dinner so Brenda can eat."

"That's a good idea." Jerry finally pulled his gaze away from her. "I'm going to get Dad a drink and then I'll check to see if Brenda and Mum need anything."

Jerry watched as Julia left the living room and he took a sharp intake of air as she disappeared from sight. He could not help but to hope tomorrow would answer some of the questions of his heart.

The late afternoon became the early evening and a quiet dinner was enjoyed while the twins slept. Jerry and then Julia said their good-byes and Brenda and Jane shared a hopeful smile at the recent closeness that the pair seemed to have found again. After being fed again, Jessica and Jonathan were adapting to their new surroundings as they were now peacefully sleeping in their bassinets while Jillian laid in bed beside Brenda. Jane had given her a bath and Jillian was dressed for bed in her candy cane pajamas again so that Brenda could see them on her. Brenda was reading Jillian one of her new books from Christmas while Jax sat beside them on the bed.

Jillian grinned as Brenda reached the last page of the book. "The end."

"Yes, but that was such a nice story." Brenda smiled as she look down at Jillian. "Molly was such a good helper when her baby brother came home from the hospital."

"I'm gonna help too," Jillian quickly announced. "Daddy says when the babies get bigger, I can give them a bottle."

Brenda wrapped her arm around Jillian. "Of course you can. Mommy and Daddy are really going to need a helper and Jessica and Jonathan will love for you to help feed them when they get bigger."

Jax rose from the bed. "How about helping Daddy now with something?"

"Okay, Daddy," Jillian replied as she scooted toward him. "What?"

Jax pulled Jillian toward him and whispered into her ear. "Remember?"

Jillian covered her mouth and giggled. "Oh, yes, let's go."

"We'll be right back," Jax murmured to Brenda as he helped Jillian off the bed.

Brenda shook her head at the two of them as they walked out of the room. Jessica started fussing and Brenda eased off the bed to check on her. She rocked the bassinet gently and the baby drifted back to sleep. The balcony was illuminated with the twinkling lights around the trees and shrubs and Brenda first heard and then saw Snowflake perched on the ledge of the window looking inside.

Brenda found herself whispering to the winged angel. "The babies are home and they're beautiful. Thank you.... In my heart, I know you took care of all of us."

Snowflake continued his singing as Brenda dabbed the corner of her eye and climbed back into bed. A minute later Jillian and Jax came back into the master suite and Jax was carrying a tray of drinks while Jillian was hiding something behind her back. Brenda sat back up. "What do we have here?"

"A surprise." Jillian scurried to the bed and pulled out the small bakery box from behind her back. "Daddy got you a canolli and me too."

"Our favorite," Brenda purred. "Daddy, you are so good to us."

Jax flashed her a lopsided grin. "I figured you had suffered the past four months without one so a little indulgence was in order."

Brenda could feel her mouth watering before the box was even opened. "This is why I love you."

A chuckle escaped from his lips as Jax opened the box and put the sweet treat on a plate for Brenda. "I knew you only were interested in my ability to provide dessert."

Brenda moaned in delight at the first bite of the confection. "Well, you do have the best smorgasbord in town."

"That's what my customers say," Jax retorted with a devilish glint flickered in Jax's eyes.

Brenda lifted her eyebrow as she smacked her lips together to savor every morsel of the delectable treat. "Well, the restaurant is closed so they can eat their hearts out elsewhere."

Jax laughed again as he put the mini cannoli on Jillian's' plate. "Here is yours, princess."

"A baby one for me," Jillian excitedly uttered. "Yummy."

Jax watched as the two princesses enjoyed every bite of the dessert. Brenda and Jillian finished their milk and both kissed Jax in thanks for the sweet treat. Jax looked at his watch and saw the lateness of the hour. "Jillian, it's time to brush your teeth and then say good night to everyone."

She smiled brightly. "I like my new toothbrush, it's purple."

"Good, now you can brush your teeth and get ready for bed," Brenda said as she stroked Jillian's curls.

"You can show me how well you brush your teeth with the new toothbrush," Jax stated as he helped Jillian off the bed. "We'll be back in a few minutes to say good night to Mommy and Jessica and Jonathan."

Brenda waved as they left the suite to go to Jillian's bathroom. The loudness of Snowflake's signing made Brenda turn toward the window again. When she did, Brenda saw that the balcony lights now provided a spotlight for the first snow of the season which was steadily falling from the sky. Snowflake's lilting became even more resounding and Brenda looked at the bassinets and suddenly felt a lump in her throat. She got up from the bed and stood directly in front of Snowflake at the window.

The images from her dream filled her mind as Brenda uttered aloud. "On the wings of an angel, they'll be home for the first snow." Her hand moved to cover her mouth as tears brimmed her eyes. "It's just like the dream."

Snowflake continued to sing and then gently fluttered his wings so that the tips of them brushed against the window pane.

The tears were now flowing down Brenda's cheeks. "You're leaving, aren't you?"

The bird stopped singing and pressed his beak against the glass and Brenda shook her head. "No, please.."

Snowflake fluttered his wings and began singing again just as Brenda turned at the sound of both Jessica and Jonathan stirring in their bassinets. It all made sense now and Brenda felt her heart flutter.

Brenda smiled as she looked back at the bird. "I know you have to go, it's time. You took care of us but now the twins are home and you have to leave." She wiped away her warm tears. "I'm never going to forget you, my sweet angel, not for one second. There is not going to be one day that your daddy and I don't think about you."

Every night in my dreams, I see you, I feel you
That is how I know you go on
Far across the distance and spaces between us
You have come to show you go on

Brenda could see Jamie's smile through the bird's soulful eyes. It went straight to her soul and her heart sung. "I feel you in my heart more than ever and so does your Daddy. I see you every time I look at him and now we have Jonathan and Jessica as your gifts."

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more, you open the door
And you're here in my heart and my heart will go on and on

Brenda heard Jillian's squeal about the sight of the snow and then heard her little feet rapidly approaching. "Mommy, there's snow."

Jax shushed Jillian as they came into the master suite and he stopped at the sight of the tears running down Brenda's face.

"I see the snow," Brenda spoke through her tears. "Come here, sweetheart."

Brenda gave Jax a reassuring smile and held her hand out to him as Jillian stood beside her. "Jillian, Snowflake's right here and he came to say good-bye to us."

Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime
And never let go till we're gone
Love was when I loved you
One true time I hold you
In my life we'll always go on

Visions of the dream quickly raced through Jax's head and he heard the words in his heart. "On the wings of an angel, they'll be home for the first snow."

"Snowflake has to go?" Jillian looked up at Brenda. "Where is he going?"

Jax wrapped his arms around Brenda as he stood behind her. "Snowflake has to go home, he was here to watch over us until the first snow came and now he has to go back."

Jillian smiled. "I forgot, he told me."

"He told you, Jillian?" Brenda hugged Jax's arms more tightly around her.

"Yeah," she replied with a bob of her head. "He talked to me when I was sleeping just like the angels do."

Brenda closed her eyes as she sighed softly. "I'm so glad."

Jillian pressed her nose against the glass and Snowflake did the same with his beak. "Bye-bye Snowflake."

Near, far, wherever you are
I believe that the heart does go on
Once more you open the door
And you're here in my heart and my heart will go on and on

Jax looked down at the awakened twins and then at the bird in the window and the love and joy in his heart raced through his body. "Good-bye Snowflake. We love you more than you'll ever know."

"Bye angel," Brenda murmured. "Please keep looking out for all of us."

With a final flutter of his wings, the bird disappeared from the window ledge. As the winged angel soared to the sky, Jax lifted their tiniest angels into his arms. It was time to see their first snowflakes. Brenda held Jillian's left hand as Jillian waved to Snowflake with the other. Brenda felt a sense of peace and joy in her heart that she did not think would ever be possible again. As she locked gazes with Jax, they both knew that their hearts would go on.

You're here, there's nothing I fear
And I know that my heart will go on
We'll stand, forever this way
You are safe in my heart and my heart will go and on

SONG CREDITS: "Because It's Christmas (For All The Children) by Barry Manilow and "My Heart Will Go On" by Celine Dion