Sunday, May 11, 2003
The Jacks Residence -- 11:30am

The magic brought about by the holiday season had not faded even though the cold and stormy weather of winter was now a distant memory. The first month of spring had been celebrated with the long, anticipated journey to Austria and the wondrous memories of the trip would never be forgotten. Today, the sights and sounds of mid spring were in full bloom in Port Charles as the family enjoyed the vibrant sunshine of this Mother's Day.

Jillian was propelling herself higher on the swings as Victoria sat on her lap. The doll was wearing the new alpine wardrobe that they had picked up in Salzburg and Brenda had braided the doll's blonde hair for the full effect. Jax and Brenda had just taken off in opposite directions in the yard as the twins had played their usual game of divide and conquer. Jessica's fascination with the gazebo was in full force this morning while Jonathan had taken off for the gardens in search of more irresistible soil. Ever since his sight of Lady's digging up a bone two weeks before, the toddler had decided that dirt was the greatest creation on earth.

"Jonathan Jacks, that is enough of that," Jax warned as he lifted his son from the flowerbed.

Jonathan chattered as he tightly held onto the fist of soil he had managed to grab before his father had interrupted his game.

"No digging in the flowers," Jax declared as he then looked down and saw the pink tulip on the ground. "Peanut, you dug up one of Mommy's tulips and that is a no-no."

His father's groan only brought a big smile from Jonathan as he waved his hands in the air. He then chattered as he unclenched his fist and the dirt fell onto the grass. "Mama, Mama."

A soft chuckle was expelled from Jax's chest. "You think you are something else, don't you?" He reached down and picked up the tulip and handed it to Jonathan. "Now, we had better find your mother and tell her that you picked this especially for her."

Jax put Jonathan down and took his hand as they headed in the direction of the gazebo. Jillian waved at them from the swings and then laughed as Lady raced past them in pursuit of a squirrel.

Inside the gazebo, Brenda was sitting on the bench as Jessica scurried around to the other side. In her new game, the toddler scampered to the corners of the gazebo where she could move behind the benches and talk to the red hearts in the octagon palace's glass panels.

"You like those pretty hearts, don't you," Brenda said in a lilting voice as she watched Jessica. "Pretty hearts."

Jessica squealed as she beamed at her mother. "Ppttyy," she babbled in her toddler version of the accolade.

"So pretty and so special." A smile covered Brenda's face as she spoke. "Your daddy gave this special place to me for my very first Mother's Day."

"Dada, Dada," Jessica jabbered as she flailed her arms in the air at the sight of Jax leading Jonathan toward the door.

"Hey there, pumpkin," Jax crooned as came through the door. "Is this a private mother/daughter moment or can the lowly men join you? We're bearing gifts," Jax chirped as he winked at Brenda.

Brenda laughed as she gave Jax a return wink. "Is that tulip for Mommy, peanut?"

Jonathan cooed as Jax guided him toward Brenda. "Mama."

"Thank you," Brenda replied as she took the tulip from Jonathan's grasp. "I see those fingernails and know exactly how you 'picked' this for me, you little digger."

"Searching for buried treasure like in Swiss Family Robinson he has heard read to Jillian, I'm sure," Jax suggested as he sat next to Brenda on the bench.

"Imitating the four legged furry member of this family is more like it," Brenda countered as she stroked the top of Jonathan's blonde tresses. "Young man, picking tulips is one thing but digging them up is quite another and it will put you and Lady both in the doghouse."

Jonathan shrieked as he clapped his hands together and giggled. Jax snickered as he looked down at his son. "That sounds like so much fun, doesn't it?"

"Almost as much fun as holing himself up in the closet to empty half of my shoes out of the shoe boxes this week," Brenda retorted with a shake of her head.

"Now, you have to admit that the shoe boxes made creative building blocks for him," Jax responded with a cheshire grin.

Brenda rolled her eyes as she watched Jessica amble to the next corner of the gazebo. "Yeah, yeah. Just like you say he has archaeological skills with this propensity to dig through every potted plant and flower garden."

"Exactly," Jax affirmed with a smirk. "Just like his cohort over there with her attraction to anything that shines or sparkles even if it means going through a fountain to get to it."

The memory of Jessica making a beeline for the fountain in the lobby of the hotel in Salzburg made Brenda smile. The gush of water had not been a hindrance to Jessica in her attempt to touch the golden lion heads from which the water streamed.

"They will keep us on our toes, that's for certain," Brenda acknowledged as Jessica moved between the benches to get closer to the heart designs. "You found more pretty hearts, didn't you, sweetheart?"

As the toddler chattered to the hearts, Jonathan walked over to join in on his sister's game. As they both flashed huge grins at their mother, Brenda drank in the enchanting sight.

As I look into your eyes
I see all the reasons why
My life's worth a thousand skies
You're the simplest love I've known
And the purest one I'll own
Know you'll never be alone

Jax looked over his shoulder to check on Jillian and saw her racing by the side of the gazebo as she followed Lady in the dog's pursuit of a monarch butterfly. He turned back toward Brenda and found her seemingly lost in thought as she gazed at the ceiling of the gazebo. Jax's right hand moved to the back of Brenda's neck as he gently massaged it.

The left corner of her mouth curved up into a smile as Brenda lowered her eyes to look at Jax. His fingers moved to caress the side of her face. "A Bentley for your thoughts."

"I was just remembering my first Mother's Day when you gave this to me and how incredible that day was," Brenda murmured as their gazes locked.

"I remember exactly how happy you were that day," he replied in a soft voice.

Brenda nodded her head as she exhaled slowly. "One of life's unforgettable moments."

"But...," Jax queried as he looked at her.

"But what," Brenda asked as a questioning expression covered her face.

"What is it, sweetie?" Jax moved his right index finger to slowly trace a path under her left eye. "That trace of sadness behind those beautiful eyes gave you away."

"Only to you," Brenda whispered as the light in her eyes suddenly beamed.

Jax shrugged his shoulders. "You know that sadness got me from the very start as it touched my soul like nothing ever had." As he continued, Jax flashed her a bright grin. "Now I know it's all part of the gift."

"No, you're the gift," Brenda corrected Jax as she shook her head. "One that I'm given every single day."

"It goes both ways, sweetie." Jax moved his arm around Brenda and cradled her against his shoulder as his lips caressed the top of her head. "And I still wish I could take all of the sadness away."

Brenda reached up and touched his cheek. "If only life were that simple so we could take away all the sadness felt by those we love."

Jax nodded his head in understanding as he spoke. "I know how much you feel Julia's suffering today and so does she."

"If things had worked out two months ago, today would have been so different for her," Brenda lamented. "She would be celebrating her first Mother's Day.....but instead......they're still waiting."

"Jerry and Julia are hoping and dreaming just like we did," Jax murmured as his eyes followed the scampering movements of the babbling twins. "And one day, they'll be celebrating just as we are."

Brenda snuggled her head deeper into Jax's neck as she beamed at Jessica and Jonathan's enthusiastic game. "You're right, one day all those dreams will come true."

Jessica then laughed aloud as Jillian and Lady both put their faces up to the glass from outside the gazebo. Jonathan tapped his hand against the glass panel as he jabbered. "Lin-Lin," he called out in the toddler's version of Jillian's name as his eldest sister blew kisses and tried in vain to get the twins to follow suite.

A moaning Jillian came around the corner and entered through the open door of the gazebo as the dog followed behind her. "Jessica and Jonathan saw me outside in the window but didn't listen."

"We saw you blowing kisses, princess," Jax told her with a beaming simper.

"I gotta finish teaching the babies to blow kisses," she exclaimed. "They gotta practice more for Mommy's present today."

"Come here, sweetheart," Brenda said as she held her arms out to Jillian. "Let me give my first baby a hug before you get any bigger."

Jillian scurried over to her and wrapped her arms around Brenda's neck. "You can still hug me even when I'm big. Grandma hugs Daddy and he's real big."

"Thank you for reminding me," Brenda murmured into Jillian's curls.

She trailed her hands along Brenda's arms. "Your arms are gettin' muscles," Jillian proclaimed excitedly. "You're gonna paddle real fast now in the boat....like Daddy."

"Mommy's been practicing for our trip," Jax remarked about their upcoming anniversary adventure. "She's going to be all ready to kayak in Hawaii."

"I wanna go in the kayak again," Jillian stated. "Can we practice more in the water where the cottage and horses are?"

"We'll practice more at the cottage when school is all over," Brenda pledged with a smile. "But the next few weeks, Mommy has to practice for Hawaii so I can go with Daddy and take pictures for you. Then you and I'll practice at the cottage."

Jillian rubbed her hands together. "Good. We can practice lots."

Jax then tapped Jillian on the shoulder and pointed toward the twins. "Princess, I think your practicing already helped a lot."

Jillian turned around and excitedly squealed as Jessica and Jonathan were puckering their lips and motioning their arms as if to blow their kisses. "See, Mommy. I teached Jessica and Jonathan for your present."

"Thank you for my favorite present of the day," Brenda gushed as she kissed Jillian on the cheek. With a radiant beam, Brenda then blew kisses at Jessica and Jonathan. "And thank you for my kisses."

My baby you
Are the reason I could fly
And 'cause of you
I don't have to wonder why
Baby you
There's no more just getting by
You're the reason I feel so alive

In their proud enthusiasm, the twins shrieked and cooed. Jax laughed at them both as he scooped the excited toddlers into his arms and carried them over to the bench. "Let's see those kisses up close."

Jillian smacked her lips together and blew the twins a kiss. "See, like that. Blow kisses."

Jessica and Jonathan followed their instructions and each blew another kiss. Their efforts were rewarded by applause from their attentive audience and the twins then began applauding themselves for their wondrous feat. As Jax laughter joined Jillian's giggles, Brenda kissed both of her youngest angels. Life had given them so much celebrate and in her heart, she knew that one day, Julia and Jerry would experience the same joy.

The Barrett/Jacks Penthouse -- 3:45pm

Julia stood inside the doorway as her eyes slowly surveyed every inch of the room. From the etching on the small chest of drawers, to the balloon design on the pad of the changing table, to the carving on the glider rocker, every detail had been memorized over the past three months. She then stepped onto the royal blue carpet and made her way over to the cradle. Julia's hand trembled slightly as she turned on the music of the mobile hanging over the balloon pattern of the sheet and blanket. She looked over at the matching balloon chair rail border on the bright yellow walls of the room. Everything had been prepared when life had brought them hopeful expectations of the gift they had been dreaming of but now they simply had a decorated room. It would never be a nursery until there was a baby to bring the room to life.

She sat down in the rocker and sighed as the chair glided back and forth. There were not any tears left to shed, even today when another Mother's Day had come that she could not share. The tears of joy had all fallen in mid-January after she and Jerry had received the call that there would be a child for them to adopt as their own. Then the tears had turned into sobs of despair seven weeks later when Lindsey had shown up at the door with the news that the birth mother had changed her mind and there would be no baby for them. Julia knew it could have been worse, they could have had the child for days, weeks or even months and then had to lose it but that knowledge was small consolation, especially today. For forty-eight days, Julia had experienced the closest thing she had ever felt to being a mother and then it had been all taken away with a piercing blow. Even today, it still felt as if part of her were missing, ripped away in a split second, and Julia was not sure when she would ever feel whole again.

The lullaby melody of the mobile ended and Julia took a deep breath as she opened the journal that sat on her lap. It may as well have been a novel for the voluminous thoughts she had scribed amidst its pages over the past few weeks. It had gotten her through the most difficult times as she tried to cling to something positive. Lindsey, Melanie, Brenda and Jane had all been there for her and of course, Jerry. Julia had thanked the heavens every day that she had not made the same mistakes she had two years earlier when she had shut him out. Somehow he had convinced her that they would get through this and they had. Giving up was not an option and Julia was grateful for Jerry's stubborn and, at times, obnoxious reminders of that fact. Somewhere inside her, she still believed they would have a family someday. That belief was getting Julia through this day, along with her heartfelt musings shared among the pages of her journal.

Mother's Day has arrived and we're waiting for you to fully comprehend the joy of the day. Each day gets a little harder because we have so much love we want to give to you but then we remember that the more difficult the journey, the more rewarding the gift will be. We had a small glimpse of what having you would be and I did not know that my heart could be so full. Even without seeing you, the love was overwhelming. Now, I know that when we finally hold you in our arms and call you our own, heaven will have found its way onto this earth.

Julia heard the ringing of the phone as she closed the journal. She looked at her watch and saw how late it had become. Julia rose from the rocking chair and to a step over to the cradle again. She delicately fingered the balloons of the mobile and then smoothed out the blanket in the cradle. As she turned around, Julia found Jerry standing against the doorway with the phone in his hand.

"I know how late it's getting so I was just about to start getting dressed for dinner," Julia declared as she walked toward the door.

"That was Mum on the phone and she offered again to stop over here and see us before dinner if we want to skip the restaurant food fight," Jerry said as he studied Julia's expression.

"That's not necessary as I told you and Jane and Brenda already," Julia reminded Jerry as she flashed him a small smile. "Seeing Jonathan throw peas at you may be just what I need today." Jerry rolled his eyes in mock disdain. "That porker is well over a year old now so he's going to get back anything he dishes out. Since Jax arranged for one of the small private rooms, no one will even hear the kid screeching when it's his turn to have mashed potatoes dumped on top of his head."

Julia shook her head at him. "Whatever you say, dear." The phone then rang again and Julia let out a deep sigh. "That will be Brenda making the same offer that your mother did."

"No doubt," Jerry affirmed as he put the receiver to his ear and clicked on the phone. "Hello. We will meet you all at The Grille at six o'clock just like we planned." His expression changed as he heard an unexpected voice on the other end. "Oh, I'm sorry. Obviously, I wasn't expecting it to be you. What can I do for you?"

Julia turned around and tried to read Jerry's face as he continued. "Where are you? Yes, we'll be here. Okay, we'll see you in thirty minutes. Good-bye."

"Who will be here in thirty minutes," Julia asked as Jerry clicked off the phone.

"Lindsey," he responded with an extended exhale. "She and the family are in town to see her mother and she says she has something she needs to discuss with us."

All the air went out of Julia's lungs before she spoke. "Did she say what it was about?"

"Kiddo, I don't have more of an idea than you do," Jerry replied in a soft tone.

"Okay," Julia whispered as she felt herself becoming overwhelmed. "I've got to go get dressed because otherwise I will drive myself crazy for the next thirty minutes."

He reached out and grabbed her hand. "Julia, I'll call Mum and tell her that we'll see her..."

Julia shook her head as she cut off his statement. "Please don't and can we please not even talk about anything until Lindsey gets here? I'm afraid I'm going to turn into a basketcase otherwise."

Jerry nodded his head as he squeezed her hand. "We can do that."

"Thank you," she murmured before turning and quickly walking down the hallway.

As he watched her disappear into the bedroom, Jerry leaned his head against the doorframe. His mind filled with images of the past two months and he sensed the breath catch in his throat. They had just gotten back onto their feet and now heaven knows what was coming at them again. It had taken Jerry three weeks to figure out what to do with his own anger after they had gotten the news. It was unfair not to be able to be furious with someone and yet being angry with a mother who had decided to keep the child she was about to bring into this world did not seem productive or just either.

Finally realizing that his angry needed to be unleashed, Jerry had used Jax as his substitute for a punching bag one afternoon in the office. Jax had played the role of supportive younger brother and let Jerry get in two right hooks before fighting back and nailing him with a left jab. Fortunately, Julia had already left for Boston for the night and Addie was well versed in keeping the infamous altercations quiet. The dedicated assistant had called Brenda in her office at the other end of floor and then contacted the custodial staff to clean up the accident in the conference room. With her own experience with dealing with the Jacks men in her life, Brenda had not said one disapproving word to either one of them after she had arrived. She had simply as given them each an ice pack and then handed Jerry her compact to help to cover up the bruises in the morning before Julia returned later that day. After that afternoon, at least Jerry felt as if he could breathe without the weight of the anger pressing against his chest. His only trouble breathing then came from his bruised ribs, courtesy of Jax's jabs.

Now it was almost two months later and Jerry suddenly felt his chest tighten again. Jerry exhaled sharply as he tried to shake the memories from his head. This whole endeavor involved a host of risks that they were aware of from day one but that did not make any of this any easier. It was still hard to fathom that he was not relishing a venture filled with gambles at every turn. Jerry had always prided himself on facing such challenges head on, without even a moment of doubt or hesitation, but this one was so different. The risks were so high and the pain so great as nothing had ever cut to the core of him so quickly as seeing Julia so shattered on that devastating day nine weeks ago. With a deep breath, Jerry took a final look at the nursery and then pulled the door shut. Suddenly, he needed a drink.

Fifteen minutes later, Julia came into the den and her voice shook slightly. "I can't seem to get my fingers to work well enough to fasten the hook on this dress."

"I'll get it," Jerry assured her as he walked over to Julia. He secured the hook and then massaged Julia's shoulders as he pulled her to him. "It's going to be okay, kiddo."

"Keep reminding me about that," Julia returned in a hushed tone while she rested her head against his shoulder. "Has it been thirty minutes yet?"

"Almost," Jerry acknowledged as he spoke against her ear. "Do you want a drink?"

Julia shook her head and stepped out of Jerry's embrace so that she could face him. "No, I'm shaky enough as it is."

The doorbell then chimed and Julia flinched at the din that suddenly seemed louder than that of a bell tower. Jerry grasped both of Julia's hands and flashed her a comforting smile. "We're in this together, remember?"

"I remember," Julia managed to squeak out as she mustered a weak simper for him. She then somehow succeeded to keep her legs underneath her as Jerry went to the answer the door.

A moment later, Jerry led Lindsey into the den. Julia found her voice and her balance as she walked over to greet her. "Hello Lindsey. Please come sit down."

"Thank you and I'm sorry for the very short notice on this visit," Lindsey said as she took a seat in the chair.

"It's not a problem," Jerry told her. "May I get you a drink?"

"No thanks," she responded with a reassuring smile. "Since I didn't give you any notice or information on this visit, I'm sure you're both wondering why I am here. Why don't you both sit down and I'll get right to the point."

Jerry took Julia's hand and guided her over to the sofa. "All right, shoot."

Now it was Lindsey's turn to take a deep breath as she began speaking. "Trust me, I know how devastating the past few months have been for you both."

"We know that," Julia affirmed in an emotional voice. "We honestly do and your own experience has helped us a great deal."

"That doesn't mean that it hurts you any less though," she countered in a comforting tone. "Believe me, I know that too." Lindsey then pulled a folder from her bag. "That's why I wanted to talk to you in person about this."

"Talk to us about what," Jerry asked as he eyed the folder sitting on Lindsey's lap.

Lindsey looked at both of them as she spoke. "I have another mother who wants her child placed and I need to know if it's too soon for you to think about this now."

Julia felt her stomach turn somersaults. "When?"

"She is due in seven weeks," Lindsey answered.

"Only seven weeks?" Julia felt the lump in her throat growing to the size of a golf ball.

Jerry finished the train of thought that Julia had begun. "Does this mean that she's been going back and forth with her decision for the past six months so we'll never be sure she'll be able to go through with it?"

Lindsey softly exhaled before she proceeded. "If you're asking me to tell you that seven weeks from now, I can guarantee she won't change her mind, I can't do that."

"We know that," Julia murmured in a quivering voice. "But are we looking at the same fact pattern here as before?"

"No," Lindsey confirmed with a shake of her head. "This is not another single mother with one child already who is unsure if she can raise a second one on her own."

"What is this situation," Jerry inquired as he put his arm around Julia.

"The mother turned eighteen three weeks ago, a high school senior living with her father and two younger siblings," Lindsey informed them. "She wanted to be able to handle the legal documents herself so she waited until she was no longer a minor before going to a lawyer. She and her father met with the lawyer the day after her eighteenth birthday. The baby's father had already signed over his rights and her lawyer contacted me the next day."

"So you have known about this for almost three weeks," Jerry asked as a curious expression appeared on his face.

Lindsey nodded her head. "Yes, I wanted to speak to her myself and then have the social worker meet with her as well as with her family before I even discussed this with you."

Julia wet her dry lips and then questioned her. "Did they agree to that?"

"Yes, they did and the social worker found nothing to suggest that she is wavering at this time in her decision," Lindsey stated as she watched Jerry and Julia exchange glances.

"What about her family? You did not mention a mother. They had no issues with this either," Julia nervously queried.

"Her mother has been deceased for two years. Her father has told her that he would be supportive of any decision she made. She planned to go to college and would need to work to help cover the cost and raising a child would put an end to that for now," Lindsey said as she leafed through the file.

"And the baby's father? I take it that he and the mother are not together now," Jerry speculated.

Lindsey shook her head. "No, they haven't been for months and the father plans to join the service next month which is why he has already signed over his paternal rights."

"She is barely an adult herself, do you think she understands all this? She doesn't even have a mother to help her with this decision." Julia brushed away the hair from her face as she continued.

"No, she doesn't but she has discussed this at length with her doctor and a counselor as well as to her family," Lindsey offered.

Jerry tried to digest all the information. "What did you think when you spoke to her, Lindsey? You saw the warning signs three months ago and warned us about them."

"I think she is a very strong young woman who has made her decisions very carefully," Lindsey replied. "Her lawyer is a law school colleague of mine and she has the same read on this but..."

Julia let out a shaky breath as she finished Lindsey's cautioning comments. "But there are no guarantees in any of this."

"No, there aren't so all we can do is to try to get the best gauge on the situation," she remarked. "I think we've done that and that's why I'm here to see if you're willing to try this again. I don't need an answer this minute and if you're not interested right now, I completely understand."

Jerry gave Lindsey an appreciative smile. "Thank you. We'll talk about it and..."

"Do we really need to do that," Julia asked as she interrupted his statement. She looked at Jerry and bit down on her bottom lip. "Do you need to think about this?"

His eyes met Julia's and Jerry saw the tears rimming the sapphire pools. "Are you sure you don't?"

"Yes," she exclaimed in a voice laden with emotion. "We can't give up on this and something just feels right at this minute to me."

"If you're really sure," he reiterated.

Julia nodded her head. "I am so if you're willing..."

"Okay, then we'll do it, kiddo," Jerry pledged as he squeezed her hand.

"Oh, thank you," Julia whispered as the tears rolled down her face and she hugged Jerry. Julia then turned to Lindsey and clutched her hand. "And thank you."

Lindsey patted Julia's hand and smiled. "You can thank me later." Her face then took on a more serious expression. "There is one more thing I do need to mention."

"What's that," Jerry asked as he felt Julia tense up slightly beside him.

"We spoke in the beginning about open versus closed adoptions. I know the last situation would have been completely closed but are you amenable to having some contact with the birth mother in this situation," Lindsey inquired.

Jerry stroked Julia's hand with his fingers as he spoke. "Does that mean this mother has requested that?"

"Not necessarily but she did broach the issue of possibly making contact with you at some point before she signs over the final documents," Lindsey answered as she flashed them a comforting smile.

Julia looked at Jerry and then turned to Lindsey. "We talked about being willing to discuss some degree of openness."

"Do you think that is what this mother will decide to do," Jerry asked as he looked at Lindsey. "You have the much better instincts here, as well as the experience."

"I think it is likely to happen for her reassurance level. If that happens, we will deal with it then," Lindsey counseled. "In the meantime, my advice is for us all to just take this one step at a time."

Jerry nodded his head. "Consider it taken." He then caught Julia's eyes. "One step at a time."

Julia bobbed her head in agreement and echoed his statement. "One step at a time." She then turned to Lindsey. "Thank you so much," Julia whispered in a lilting voice as she hugged Lindsey. "I can't tell you..."

"Shhh. You're very welcome," she returned with an embrace back to Julia. "I will send the paperwork tomorrow and we will just take this one day at a time," Lindsey declared as she patted Julia's hand. "Now, I'll leave you two alone and get back to my brood."

Jerry rose from his seat. "Lindsey, we..... we really appreciate you taking the time to come and see each us.........especially today."

"Don't even mention it," she remarked as they all walked toward the door. "Now you two just enjoy your evening. Good night."

"Good night," Julia and Jerry replied in return as he opened the door and Lindsey waved good-bye to them.

As he closed the door, Jerry saw Julia lift her trembling fingers to her mouth. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yes, ...... more than anything," Julia murmured as she bobbed her head. "Jerry, it's Mother's Day. That has to mean something."

Jerry wordlessly put his arms around her. "Yes, it does. It's going to be okay, kiddo."

"It has to be," Julia whispered while tears rimmed her eyes again.

"I'll call Mum and tell her that we will take her to dinner one night this week," Jerry said as he rubbed circles along her back.

Julia pulled away from him. "No, I don't want to sit here all night and drive you and myself crazy..... thinking about...... what if."

"If that is what you want to do, we'll go then," Jerry told her.

"I don't think we should say anything right now about this," Julia suggested in a trembling voice. "Can we just keep this between us for now?"

He sighed in relief. "I think that's the best idea for now."

Tears trickled down Julia's face as she looked into Jerry's eyes. "It will just be our secret and we can share the hope and joy just between the two us so it's even more special."

"That sounds perfect." A smirk then covered Jerry's face as he kissed away the tears for her cheeks. "Pure salt.........There are those blasted happy tears again."

Julia smiled through her tears as Jerry pulled her into his arms. Suddenly, a small part of her torn heart was mended as she felt love overflow from it. She was afraid to let the thought register but inside her heart, Julia knew it finally felt like Mother's Day.

Saturday, May 31, 2003
The Barrett/Jacks Penthouse -- 2:15pm

Jerry and Julia came through the door in their return from a late morning sail along the river. It had been a spur of the moment trip as it had provided a distraction from Julia staring at the nursery. It had been twenty days since Lindsey's visit, the initial documents had been signed and everyone was now holding their breaths. Four and a half months ago when they were at this stage, there had been so much to do. Between getting the nursery completed and handling all the other necessary details in anticipation of having a baby in the house, there was little time left for anything else. There were no such plans or preparations to manage this time so it was simply a waiting game. It felt more like Chinese water torture to Julia and Jerry had his own moments of feeling as if they were constantly living on the edge.

They had shared the prospective news the weekend before with John and Jane as well as Jax and Brenda. That was as far as the information would go until there was something to truly celebrate. Jerry and Julia were grateful for the support from the family and Jane's usual words of wisdom. Lindsey had been in contact once a week with updates from the birth mother's attorney. Sydney, the social worker, had reported that the birth mother had continued the counseling sessions that had been arranged through her doctor. With the anticipated delivery date now less than a month away, Lindsey remained positive about this case but she had continued to remind Julia and Jerry that there were no guarantees with any of this.

Julia understood Lindsey's precautions completely but that had not stopped her from learning to hate the term, "no guarantee," these days. The phrase popped back into her head immediately as Julia passed nursery on her way down the hall. As Julia ran her hand through her windblown hair, she wondered how they would get through the next several weeks. It was going to seem like an eternity.

Jerry followed Julia into the bedroom and he sat on the bed to take off his shoes. He watched Julia cross the room to the dressing table and then heard her groan. "Jerry, I specifically asked you if my nose was red and you said no."

"It's not red, it's pink and you didn't ask me that," Jerry retorted as he shrugged his shoulders at her.

"You are impossible," Julia muttered. "Now I look like Rudolph."

Jerry snapped his fingers as he looked at her. "Should we go get Jonathan's Rudy and have you switch noses with the reindeer. Oh no, I guess his nose is brown so that wouldn't work either."

The sun hat that Julia had taken with her on the sail suddenly flew across the room and hit Jerry in the chest. "You are just a menace to society."

"And Mum is so proud," Jerry teased as he got up from the bed and walked over to the dressing table. "Julia, you wore a hat and had half a bottle of suntan lotion on, it's windburn. Besides, I think it's kinda cute," he murmured as his fingers threaded through the back Julia's hair.

"Thank heavens one of us pays attention to the risks of the sun," she declared with a sigh. "If you think I'm taking the baby out there next year without covering him or her from head to..." Julia felt the breath catch in her throat at the sound of her own words.

Jerry's hands squeezed her shoulders as he spoke. "I have no doubt that you'll have him or her dressed completely like a mummy."

Julia quickly turned around and hugged Jerry in a death grip. "I try so hard not to get my hopes up but..."

"I know, kiddo. I do the same thing," Jerry confessed as he held her tightly.

"You do?" Julia asked in a low murmur as she released her grip.

"Of course I do," Jerry affirmed with a nod. "Just this afternoon, I was thinking about how I'd have to have Casey order toddler's life vests for all three of the sailboats and how he would need to change the railing on the Scoundrel's bow."

Julia let out an exhale of both anxiety and relief. "Do you ever wonder how we're going to get through the next few weeks? And then the six months after that while we wait for everything to be finalized?"

Jerry took Julia's hand and led her to the bed. "Yes, I think about that," he said as they both sat on the bed. "But anything we've ever really wanted in this life has taken a lot of work and effort to get so we have to do the same about this." A devilish smirk appeared on Jerry's face as he continued. "I mean, look at all the work and effort you had to apply to convince me that you were good enough for me."

"You have lost your mind," Julia rebutted. "I was the one who had to be brainwashed into thinking you were even human."

"What have I told you about that," Jerry inquired as he shook his head. "I'm a supreme being, not a human. Jasper is the lowly human."

"God help me," she mumbled. "Wanting to raise a child with you as an influence."

Jerry tipped his head toward her. "I know, how lucky can a kid get?"

Julia just shook her head as Jerry let out a hearty laugh at her expression. He was incorrigible and she was beyond grateful for that right now as it was keeping them both sane. His mirth continued and Julia pushed her hand against the center of Jerry's chest, knocking him against the mattress. As he went to grab her, the phone rang and Julia swatted away his arm as she reached for the phone on the nightstand.

"Hello," Julia spoke into the receiver.

"Julia, it's Lindsey."

"Lindsey," Julia uttered as she sensed a sudden tightness in her chest.

"Julia, is Jerry there?" Julia felt the bedroom closing in on her as Lindsey continued. "He might want to get on another extension."

"Oh God, she changed her mind," Julia exclaimed in anguish.

Jerry had immediately picked up the portable phone from the nightstand on the other side of the king size bed. "Lindsey, what's wrong?"

"Please, I need both of you to take a deep breath," Lindsey advised in a deliberate tone. "No one has changed their mind. You know I would never give you news like that over the phone."

Julia felt Jerry's arm around her just as the air was finally expelled from her lungs. "I'm sorry, Julia and I know that," Jerry responded with a deep exhale.

"There's no need to apologize," she explained, "But I need you both to calm down and listen to me. I just heard from the attorney and the birth mother would like to make contact with you."

Jerry saw the panic in Julia's eyes. "What kind of contact?"

"She would like to speak to Julia on the phone," Lindsey answered.

Julia felt her mouth go dry. "Why?"

"Julia, we talked about the possibility of this," Lindsey gently reminded her. "She brought this issue up at the first meeting with me and has spoken to Sydney about it as well."

"I know we did," she replied in a shaking voice. "Lindsey, it's just that right now..."

"It's just that right now you're terrified," Lindsey said to complete Julia's thoughts. "I know all about that."

Jerry continued to rub Julia's back as he questioned Lindsey. "Is this now a mandate from her, and just the start of them?"

"I understand that there are always questions about motives but this mother has spoken about making contact when she felt she was ready to do that," Lindsey counseled. "This is all a learning and acceptance process for everyone involved. There are no set rules here, everyone has to do what they feel with work for them."

Julia found some of her bearings. "You're right, we've talked about this so we should not be shocked now. But Lindsey, ..... what do you really think it means?"

Lindsey spoke in a comforting tone. "I can't tell you unequivocally what it means in this case but in general, I agree with Sydney's favorable beliefs on this particular issue."

"About it being a part of the 'letting go' process," Julia pronounced as she vividly remembered Sydney's words in their meetings at the start of this process.

"What if she does not want to let go but rather wants to become more entrenched in our lives after this baby is born," Jerry queried even as he saw Julia wince.

"There's only one way to find out the answer to that and that's to talk to her. There has been no indication of that at all but you need to get a feel of the situation," Lindsey returned. "You know I have to tell you this but if she wants something you can't give her, you need to know that now. Not a week from now, or a month, or God forbid, in five months before the adoption is finalized."

Suddenly something snapped in Julia's head and some of the overwhelming feelings seemed to lift. "I want to talk to her. ..........I need to talk to her."

Jerry caught Julia's eyes. "Are you sure this is what you want to do?"

"Yes, I have to know what she wants or doesn't want...whatever it is." Julia took a deep breath. "How can I sit here and wait for the floor to cave in otherwise," Julia asked rhetorically. "And how could I find fault with someone who wants to speak to the people to whom she is bestowing such a gift?"

Jerry wished that he could feel as secure in this as Julia seemed to suddenly be. There was still such a part of him that trusted so little about people. "When does she want to do this?"

"She wanted to do it today," Lindsey said as she heard Julia take a deep breath over the phone. 'I think there's a part of her that's as terrified as you are," she added in a reassuring voice.

"Great, two basketcases," Julia mumbled as she then wiped away the tear from her eye. "Now we just have to worry about being acceptable enough for her."

Lindsey smiled into the phone. "Don't worry, you have that covered in spades and she'll know that as well."

"How do you want to do this," Jerry asked. "Does she want us to call her or her attorney?"

"I'm here in the office and will be for a while so I'll call her attorney back and she can call here collect and I'll connect the call to you there," Lindsey advised. "For this call, we'll keep everything through the attorneys. We will play it by ear for what happens in the future if there is to be any further contact."

"Okay, let's do this before I lose my nerve," Julia suggested.

"I will call her attorney and then get back to you," Lindsey announced. "And Julia, she may need you more to listen than to talk or she may want you to set the lead so just do what feels right."

"Thanks Lindsey," Julia murmured. "Thanks for everything. Good-bye."

Jerry said good-bye and they hung up the phones. Julia then melted into Jerry's arms as he held them out to her. He kissed the top of Julia's head as he held her. "We'll get through all of this, kiddo, and I'm going to be right beside you."

"You'd better be," she echoed against Jerry's chest.

It was the longest forty minutes that had ever transpired, at least that was how it had seemed to Julia. Lindsey had telephoned to confirm that she and the birth mother's attorney had arranged for a 4:00pm call. Lindsey would connect the call to Julia's private office line at the house and then remain available in the Manhattan office for the next hour if there was anything needed to discuss with the other attorney. Lindsey had reminded Julia as to what specific information had been disclosed in her and Jerry's file and cautioned Julia against divulging additional details until she felt comfortable with the situation. Julia already sensed a change in how she felt, for now she had a name for the young woman who could be changing their lives forever. The young woman, who had been identified as merely "M" in the files for weeks, now was Megan.

When the phone did finally ring, Julia about jumped out of her skin. Jerry winked at her from across the room in the office. He had decided to be there for her while at the same time giving her some space. There were some things about all this, Jerry knew that he could never fully understand. John had told him as much and Jax had reinforced the fact. After all he and Julia had been through over the past two years, Jerry readily admitted that there were some things that the male chromosome could not fully grasp and this was one of those situations.

Lindsey gave Julia a few reassuring words and then put the call through. Julia took a deep breath at the sound of the voice on the other end. "Hello....this is...Megan."

"Hello Megan, my name's Julia," she returned without hesitation. Lindsey had told her that some clients chose to use fictitious names but Julia had immediately dismissed that. Withholding her actual name just was not compatible at all with the trust issues that both sides had to sense in this relationship.

"That's pretty," Megan replied. "I don't know anyone named Julia."

Julia felt herself relax just a bit at the sound of the lilt in Megan's voice. Lindsey had told them that they were dealing with Massachusetts as well as New York laws in this case and the New England accent was clearly evident in Megan's voice. "You know, I'm not sure I know another Megan. It's a pleasure to meet you, Megan. Thank you for giving me the chance."

"You're welcome," Megan replied with her own sigh of relief.

Julia recognized the young woman's nervousness and decided to take the lead until Megan was more comfortable. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Yes, most of the time," she said with a nod. "I went to the doctor last week and she says everything is fine with us...with both of us."

"You must be relieved," Julia remarked knowing how relieved she felt herself.

Megan quickly offered additional information. "I've been taking good care of myself and going to the doctor. I never smoked or did any drugs, I swear."

"I know from your doctor's report that you have been doing everything she has asked you to do," Julia stated as more of her uneasiness faded.

"I had two ultrasounds but I don't know about the sex," Megan declared quietly. "I didn't think ...... I didn't think I should find out....."

At the trace of sadness in Megan's voice, Julia felt her own heart ache. "I understand that."

"It doesn't matter to you what it is, does it," Megan then queried. "Or to your husband?"

"No, we just want a child to love," Julia answered in an emotional tone as she locked eyes with Jerry across the room. "That's all that matters."

Megan felt herself smile even as tears welled in her eyes. "Ms. Daniels and Mrs. Tate said you have a nursery all ready."

"Yes, it's finished," Julia affirmed as she fought to control the emotion in her voice. "We think it will be a very happy room."

Megan dabbed the tear from the corner of her eye. "What does it look like? I mean... if you don't mind telling me."

Jerry saw Julia smile as she spoke. "It's yellow with red, blue, green and yellow balloons as the pattern."

"A baby should be happy with balloons." Megan swallowed the lump in her throat before she proceeded. "I wanted ...... I wanted ..... to ask," she stammered over her words.

"Megan, you can ask me whatever you need to know," Julia offered.

Megan took a deep breath. "You'll love this baby with everything you have, won't you? You'll take care of it like it's the most precious thing in the world?"

Julia closed her eyes momentarily as she felt tears forming in her eyes. "Yes, more than I could ever say."

"And your husband too? He will be a good father, won't he," Megan asked in a soft voice.

Julia found Jerry intently watching as she looked over at him and smiled. "Yes, he'll be a wonderful father and love this baby with all of his heart."

"And there will be grandparents and an aunt and uncle and cousins as part of the family," Megan recited the information in the file from memory.

"Yes, there is a whole family waiting to love this baby," Julia replied with a reassuring beam to Jerry. "Especially a certain very special cousin."

"What about me," she finally found the nerve to ask Julia. Megan's voice quivered as she continued. "Will you ever tell the baby anything about me?"

Julia felt the tears stinging in her eyes now. "Yes, as soon as the time is right, this child will know just how much you loved him or her and how that love gave us the most precious gift anyone has ever received." She heard Megan's tears on the other end of the phone and Julia felt her own heartstrings be pulled. "Honey, it's okay. Is your father or your family there with you?"

Megan blew her nose and then found her voice. "I'm okay. It's just...hard sometimes….but this is what's best."

"Are you sure about that?" Julia could not believe she had the strength to say the words coming from her mouth. "Is this really what is best for you?"

"It's the best for the baby and that's what matters," Megan retorted in a voice that exuded pure sincerity. "It wouldn't have a father to raise it and I don't want my dad to have to support us so I'd have to find a job. Then I'd be away from the baby too so it wouldn't have a father at all and only a part-time mother."

Julia just listened and held her breath as Megan continued. "I'm not ready for this. Maybe if my mother was still here, it would be different but she can't help me and my dad has so much he has to do for all of us now. My mom would want me to do what is best for the baby, I know she would. This baby deserves someone who is prepared to be a parent and who will love it and give it everything I can't give now. Julia, you and your husband will do that, won't you? Just like you wrote in your letters? You promise?"

Julia sniffed back her tears as she spoke. "Yes, I promise that we will do the best we know how. That will be the case until my very last breath and I swear this child will know just who first loved it into this world."

"I believe you," Megan confessed as tears spilled down her freckled cheeks again. "Everything the social worker and Mrs. Tate said about you and your husband matched what I could tell about you from your letters about wanting a family. I just had to hear your voice to be sure that this baby would be in the right place with you.....I just had to know….and you're what I want this baby to have for a family."

"Thank you, Megan," Julia managed to squeak out before she was overwhelmed by her own tears. Jerry crossed the room and handed her a wad of tissues as he stroked Julia's back. "My husband's here with me and we both thank you, more than you'll ever know."

Megan fought back her own emotions. "I'd better get off now, this long distance is going to cost you a lot of money from your lawyer."

Julia shook her head in amazement at the genuineness that emanated from the young woman. "Megan, you can call me anytime you want to talk. You call collect whenever you feel the need to ask anything." Julia gave her the number to the private cell phone number that Lindsey had recommended they get when they started this process.

"Okay, starting next week, I have to go to the doctor every week now," she explained. "I'll call you to tell you what she says on Wednesday."

"Thank you Megan," Julia said as she wept. "Do you know just how special you are?"

Megan wiped away her tears again. "My mom used to tell me that. You already sound like one. Good-bye Julia."

"Good-bye Megan," Julia echoed as her heart fluttered in her chest.

Jerry took the receiver from Julia's hand and replaced it in its cradle as he sat down beside her. "Hey, are you okay?"

Julia nodded as she put her arms around him. "She sounds like she is sure about this just like Lindsey and Sydney said."

"You were great with her," Jerry murmured against Julia's ear.

"She's so brave, Jerry," Julia whispered as more tears fell from her eyes. "She just wants to do the best for this baby and right now, she still thinks that's us."

"We'll keep everything crossed that it stays that way," Jerry told her.

Julia relished the fell of Jerry's arms around her and his words of support. "I love you, Jerry, and it feels like we're closer to that family we've dreamt about."

"I love you too, kiddo," Jerry crooned as he kissed her temple. "We'll have that family, you just keep dreaming."

Julia smiled against his chest as Jerry held her. Their love and their dreams were going to get them through all of this.

Hanalei Bay, Kauai -- 6:45pm

The sun was still glistening brightly off the bright blue water as Jax and Brenda began to make their way back to the beach. Strong currents were now coming into the bay, named for its perfect crescent shape, but the past hour had enabled Jax and Brenda to enjoy a swim and some frolicking water play. The water play was still in full swing as Brenda tried to catch up with Jax before he reached the shore. Nature's magnificence surrounded them on "The Garden Island" as the lushness of the flora and fauna made every sight more magnificent than the next. It had been an incredible four days as Jax and Brenda had arrived mid week on the island to get an early start to their seventh anniversary celebration. John and Jane had the home front covered in Port Charles so Jax and Brenda had spent the trip reveling in each other and the paradise around them. They would head home the next evening but it was a trip Jax and Brenda knew would always be special to them.

Jax swatted the water behind him, sending it to shower Brenda as she caught sight of a small piece of coral in the crystal blue water and avoided stepping on it. The soft pink hue made her think of the trip to Kee Beach two days before where she and Jax had spent the day snorkeling. The coral and colorful tropical fish they had seen had made Brenda feel as if she had been transported to a magical world that nature had bestowed as a special gift to the earth. The currents had been on their side and Jax and Brenda had been able to safely cross the reef from the protected cove into the open Pacific Ocean. She could not wait to see the underwater pictures that Jax had taken and knew that Jillian would love them. Jax was sure Jillian would, especially the shot of the giant sea turtle that had swum by them, much to the shock of Brenda, who had shrieked through her snorkel at her first sight of the creature. For the next ten minutes, Jax had laughed at her through his mask and snorkel.

But Jax had saved the best for last when, using one of his fins, he had imitated a manta ray and sneaked up to Brenda from behind, causing her to shriek again. All of the underwater antics had been captured perfectly on camera and Jax had immediately informed Brenda that he had a spot already picked out on the family photo wall in the angel room for the memories. Brenda had retaliated after they had finished snorkeling when they spent the evening at a luau on the beach with the Bali Hai cliff of the Na Pali Coast as their backdrop. She had insisted that Jax knew all the words to "Bali Hai" from South Pacific so the hula dancers and singers had been happy to use him as a "volunteer" to lead the group in the song. Brenda had plenty of photos from that entertainment and had promised Jax that the moments would live forever on the wall in the angel room.

The photos as well as a coconut shell from the luau would go along with the small piece of coral found on the beach and a Niihau shell lei as treats for Jillian when they returned home. Jillian had been disappointed that she and the twins had not accompanied Jax and Brenda on the trip but she was promised something special and a vacation at the Malibu beach after the school year had finished. A field trip to the new dolphin show at the aquarium had given Jillian a pleasant distraction while she had waited for Jax and Brenda to return from their trip. Jax and Brenda had visited a local market the day before and found island made baskets to bring home as gifts as well as a beautiful landscape painting of the Na Pali Coast that would be perfect for the Malibu house. Jax had spent hours in his new surf ski since they had arrived on the island and the day before, Brenda had completed only her second significant kayak trip when they had ventured along the Hanalei River for a trip to the wildlife refuge and then further into the Hanalei Valley. The waterfront was magnificent as it was canopied in places by lush overhanging trees. Jax had taken pictures during the morning venture while making sure that he stayed in close range of Brenda in case the currents became a problem. She had handled the river with little difficulty and Jax had stopped being surprised at Brenda's tenacity and strong will years before when it came to anything she set her mind to do. At the end of their return trip, the sunshine had yielded to a brief shower, typical for the climate. The trees had protected Jax and Brenda from getting much of the rain along their journey and the droplets falling upon the overhead leaves sounded like a peaceful serenade. As Jax and Brenda reached the clearing at the finishing point of their trip, the rain had become more of a mist and with the sun appearing again, a vibrant rainbow was painted majestically across the sky. Instantaneously, the breathtaking sight had caused Brenda to forget just how tired she was.

Later that afternoon, Brenda had been rewarded for her successful kayak adventure with a coconut oil massage, compliments of her talented kayak instructor and proudest fan. As every muscle had relaxed with Jax's kneading contact, simultaneously Brenda's nerve endings had become enflamed by his touch. The flames had become an inferno when Jax's mouth then caressed every inch of skin that his massaging hands had stroked. Sometime later, the flames were finally doused amidst moans of pleasure in the shower. The brilliant rainbow observed over the river that afternoon had been merely a dim shadow of the kaleidoscopic of vibrant colors that Jax and Brenda had seen as they had shared every ounce of love they felt for each other. That same depth of devotion had been bestowed this morning as Jax and Brenda's anniversary had begun with a delivered breakfast in bed, followed by slow, long and delicious lovemaking as dessert. The rest of the day had been spent "doing everything and nothing together" just as Brenda had told Jax she wanted to spend their life doing when she had first confessed her love for him that unforgettable evening, years before.

"Everything and nothing" now was defined as a chase to the towels on the beach as Brenda flung a handful of seaweed toward Jax. He had started the frolics by claiming that it would make a great addition to the protein shake he would make for her in the morning. Brenda now regretted her launch of the seaweed since her shoulder muscle immediately reminded her just how much it had been exerted while kayaking the day before. Jax saw her grimace as he reached the shoreline and he failed to stifle his laughter that only caused Brenda to ignore the pain and hurl more seaweed at him. At the sight of the glare on her face, a smirking Jax then went and sat on the towels.

"You are such a brat," Brenda expounded as she stood over him and wrung her hair out so that the water ran down Jax's face.

"And you are so stubborn," Jax retorted as he grabbed Brenda's ankle and pulled her into his lap before immediately easing her down onto the towel next to him.

Brenda closed her eyes as it was much easier to pretend to be irritated when she was not seeing his chiseled arms and sculpted chest over her. "I am not stubborn, I simply have taste buds and which have no desire to be subjected to chalk and disgusting seaweed."

Jax bit back a chuckle at the sight of Brenda's closed eyes as he propped himself up on his elbow beside her on the towel. As Jax spoke, his right index finger slowly caressed a path from the middle of Brenda's forehead, down her nose, to her lips. "Protein does wonder for those muscles aches."

"No thank you, I'll live," she countered in a deliberate tone. As Jax's finger then traced a path down her chest and headed for the valley between her breasts, Brenda then opened her right eyelid. "I'm not sure I can say the same thing about you continuing to live."

"But what a way to go," Jax responded with a devilish glint in his eyes.

Brenda sighed aloud and her right hand stroked Jax's chest. "What am I going to do with you?

"I have plenty of ideas," Jax growled as his hand moved to caress Brenda's right orb through the material of her bikini top.

She stopped his heavenly touch and quickly sat up. "First dinner and then dessert, Mr. Jacks." Brenda's right eyebrow lifted sexily over her eye as she flashed Jax an enticing grin. "Trust me, you'll need all your strength."

"I'm going to hold you to that, Mrs. Jacks," Jax vowed as he met her gaze and massaged her sore shoulders.

"I'm counting on it," Brenda acknowledged as her brown velvet pools shimmered with desire. Her sultry tone matched the look in her eyes.

Jax clasped Brenda's hand as he stood up. "Let's go, I'm starved."

Brenda giggled as she picked up her sandals from the sand and Jax grabbed the towels and his shoes. The giggles became musical laughter as they raced across the beach and covered the two hundred yards to the beach cottage in record time. It was going to be some evening.

The early evening rain had delayed their plans for dinner but now the setting was almost dream-like. The clouds began to dissipate to allow the final colors of the sunset to peak through before the full moon took center stage in the sky. Now, after both had showered and changed, Jax and Brenda walked hand in hand as they returned to the beach. As dusk fell around them, he carried a picnic basket and lantern while she toted a large beach bag. When they reached a spot on the beach where the sand seemed to glisten like gold, Jax and Brenda found the perfect spot for their evening. Brenda took the blanket from her bag and spread it out on the sand while Jax kicked off his shoes.

They sat on the blanket and Jax lit the lantern as Brenda began to unpack their picnic supper. Jax then took the radio from the beach bag and turned on the accompanying music for their special evening together. They had enjoyed their past anniversary dinners on the Isabella, in favorite restaurants and at home but this would be the first shared on a soon to be moonlit beach. Brenda stopped to take a moment to survey her surroundings and the setting was beyond spectacular. As the splashes of color from the sunset reflected off the bay, the wispy clouds that shrouded the view of Bali Hai lifted to reveal the cliffs. One had to wonder if even heaven could have been as beautiful.

Jax could not help but to smile as he watched Brenda's eyes canvass the setting. He was mesmerized by that "wide-eyed little girl" look radiating from her face. He suddenly was transported back to the first moment he had seen that look in Brenda's eyes. It had been in the cockpit of the plane during her first flying lesson and that day, Jax realized he had found a new benchmark for the definition of happiness. His mind then drifted to a few years later and Jax remembered feeling the tug of his heart the first time he had seen the same expression on Jillian's face. Sometimes he still wondered what he had done to be surrounded by so much.

"Simply beautiful," Brenda murmured with a soft sigh as she remained transfixed on the scenery surrounding them.

Brenda turned to Jax and realized he was speaking about her. "Jax..." She modestly lowered her eyes toward the blanket as a beam covered her face.

Jax's fingers lifted her chin so that Brenda's gaze met his eyes. "If the stars and the moon could do so, they would ever let you leave this spot."

"Why is that," Brenda asked with love gleaming from her eyes.

"Because only an enchantress could warrant being showcased by the sparkling radiance of the stars and the moon," Jax replied as his fingers entwined through a strand of Brenda's silky tresses. Brenda expelled an exhale as the skirt of her sundress fluttered in the breeze. "I love you, Jax. You're the only sparkling radiance I'll ever need."

I don't need a lot of things, I can get by with nothing
But all the blessings life can bring, I've always needed something
But I've got all I want when it comes to loving you
You're my only reason, you're my only truth

The last of their picnic supper was being enjoyed as Brenda fed Jax a piece of the succulent papaya they had bought this morning from the nearby Sunshine market.

"Mmmmm, you smell like anise," Jax said in a rumbling voice as his lips nuzzled against her neck.

"I knew rubbing those berries behind my ears would work wonders, I see," Brenda purred in return. "We will have to figure out how to get a mokihana tree to bloom outside of Kauai."

Jax fingered the fragrant maile leaves and the mokihana berries twisted into an adornment in Brenda's hair. "For you, I think it would defy nature and the climate and grow anywhere you wanted."

"Your poetry will definitely make a girl's head spin," Brenda crooned as she picked up a piece of passion fruit.

Brenda then teased his lips with the juicy morsel and tested Jax's willpower as she took a bite of the fruit. The tip of her tongue sensually trailed along the front of her teeth before Brenda brought the delectable fruit to Jax's mouth again. Brenda traced Jax's lips with the passion fruit before her mouth covered his and they enjoyed the taste of the savory treat and each other. Jax pulled Brenda into his lap as their kisses became like quenching rain on a sultry summer afternoon.

When their lips finally separated, Jax gazed into her eyes and took a deep breath at the golden flecks of fire blazing within them. "You're still the sexiest and most passionate woman I've ever met."

"I'm doing my best to keep up with you," Brenda returned with a smile that lit up her face even more.

"You're not going to have any trouble, Mrs. Jacks," he declared with a sexy grin. "Not now or thirty years from now."

"That's the plan since we promised we'd still be surprising each other years from now." Brenda then cast him a teasing wink. "I wouldn't want you looking at any new and improved models."

Jax trailed his fingers tenderly along Brenda's jawbone as he spoke. "Not a chance. You're the only one I love, you're the only one I want. Brenda, I only need you."

I need you like water, like breath, like rain
I need you like mercy from heaven's gate
There's a freedom in your arms that carries me through
I need you

The clouds and the moon shared the sky as the music from the radio wafted along with the sounds of the waves breaking against the shore. Jax and Brenda danced in their bare feet on the golden sand.

Brenda unbuttoned Jax's shirt and kissed each patch of skin she revealed. "This still feels like a dream."

Jax tilted Brenda's head up so that her eyes met a loving gaze that reached the very depths of her soul. "It's no dream, baby. There is nothing more real than this."

The breath caught in Brenda's throat at the feel of the love sweeping through her. "Seven years…seven years and that look still makes my knees go weak."

"What look," Jax asked as his hands cradled her face.

"That look that says I'm treasured like no one has ever been," Brenda murmured in a voice laden with emotion.

"You are, Brenda," he whispered in return. "More than the ocean, or the air or any wonder in this universe."

Brenda's eyes emanated nothing but pure love as she spoke. "Jax, I treasure you and every moment that we've had together. All of them, whether full of joy or pain, because they were all part of this incredible 'us' we are and make our love even stronger. As each day passes, I learn just how powerful that love is. You changed my life with your love and your faith in me. You fill me up and you're the only solace, brightness and touch I'll ever need."

You're the hope that moves me to courage again, oh, yeah
You're the love that rescues me when the cold winter rages
And it's so amazing 'cause that's just how you are
And I can't turn back now 'cause you've brought me too far

The quickly moving clouds had gone unnoticed by Jax and Brenda as their lips and bodies melded together while they stood there. A fine rain fell from the sky began as Jax and Brenda drank in each other's kisses. The moon, which had been temporarily concealed by the clouds, started to peak through as the mist took on a glittery appearance. It was as if silver fairy dust surrounded them and as the moon's presence in the sky became more evident, the night seemed to glisten even more.

Jax kissed the corners of Brenda's mouth and then the tip of her nose as they finally came up for air. Her eyes were sparkling like crystals and the mist had made her dark tresses shimmer like diamond dust. "I love you, Brenda."

"I love you more," Brenda replied in a hushed tone as the moonlight fully gleamed on them again. She looked up into the heavens and was mesmerized by the sight. "Jax, look."

Jax lifted his eyes to the night sky and saw the magnificent luster. When he then looked at Brenda, her exuberance took his breath away. "That's a moonbow, sweetie."

"A moonbow...," Brenda murmured as she could not move her eyes from nature's masterpiece. "It's the most incredible thing I've ever seen."

Jax wrapped his arms around her waist as they looked up at the moonbow shining over the water. "I saw one years ago but it was nothing like this. I told you the moon knew what an enchantress it had to shimmer on tonight."

"You've shown me so much," she said in awe. "Things I never knew existed and things I never realized could be truly experienced until they were felt deep within your soul."

"It was you who changed me," Jax confessed in a voice as smooth as silk. "You taught me so much as I saw the world through your eyes. Sunrises, sunsets, rainbows and now moonbows, none of them had really touched me until I truly saw them for the first time with you. I never knew pure peace or joy until I shared them with you. I never believed in fairytales until you walked into my life. You changed that too, Brenda. It was you I needed for all of it."

I need you like water, like breath, like rain
I need you like mercy from heaven's gate
There's a freedom in your arms that carries me through
I need you
Oh, yes, I do

The moonlight continued to shimmer through the bedroom window as Jax and Brenda shared the love brimming from their hearts. With whispers of love and murmured pledges of eternal devotion, their bodies became one in a fit as perfect and complete as that of a velvet glove. Their mouths and hands explored each other as their passion deepened. Each stroke, caress and touch was bestowed with tenderness and unwavering love as Jax and Brenda soared closer to paradise.

When sweet release finally came, moans of pleasure resonated through the night air as sunlight filled their souls. Their glistening bodies continued in a tight embrace as Jax and Brenda remained joined in body as well as heart and soul. Brenda basked in the sound of Jax's steadying heartbeat as her head rested on his chest. Jax reveled in the feel of her soft breasts against his strong chest. His fingers gently stroked her soft hair as Brenda placed a kiss over his heart.

"I love you so much, Jax, " Brenda told him as she kissed his chest again. "More every day, as impossible as that is to comprehend at times."

"I love you too, sweetie," Jax echoed as his lips nuzzled her forehead. "And the magic makes everything possible."

Brenda lifted her head and looked directly at him. "Of course,...that has to be it. What we have is nothing short of magic."

"Truly magic," Jax murmured as he met Brenda's eyes. "Some people live for decades and never feel it at all. Some aren't even convinced that magic truly exists. It does and we've had it forever."

"Lucky us," she replied with a bright smile. "All I needed was to find you."

Jax gave her a grin of his own. "And all I needed was you. Magic didn't stand a chance against us."

Their mouths met again in a torrent of sweet kisses as the magical night continued.

I need you like water, like breath, like rain
I need you like mercy from heaven's gate
There's a freedom in your arms that carries me through
I need you
Oh, yes, I do
I need you
I need you

Saturday, June 28, 2003
The Barrett/Jacks Penthouse -- 1:45pm

Jerry steered his way around the curves as he accelerated the car around the track before entering the obstacle course portion of the virtual reality game. He zigzagged through the course as other cars became disappearing sights in his rear view mirror. Jerry accelerated again as the car raced down the steep drop in the path. He had to stay focused to get around the lead group as the road narrowed. Increasing the speed again, Jerry closed the distance between his car and the leader. Then without warning once again, his mind betrayed him as the images struck once more. His focus was lost and as the course came upon the hairpin turn, the car crashed into the guardrail. While the reverberation of the collision and its resulting explosion erupted, Jerry only heard the sound of Julia pacing the floors at two o'clock this morning. As the sight before him was nothing but a fireball, Jerry only saw the look of anguish on Julia's face.

Jerry slammed down his hand as reality intruded again and warded off all attempts to escape it. He leaned back into the chair and closed his eyes tightly shut in an effort to stop the images but Jerry knew how futile that was. He had tried it since last night and it was pointless. The past four weeks had been filled with nothing but hope and more joy than Jerry had ever felt but suddenly the fear and dread were back. Every Wednesday evening since Megan had first made contact with Julia, there had been a telephone call with a report from the doctor's visit. She and Julia had continued their easy rapport with one another as tears and even some laughter had been shared during those communications. Then this Wednesday had come and gone with no call. When the call had not come that evening, it had been easy to come up with reasons why and then suggest it would come the next evening. When the call had not come then either, Julia had become distressed and when no call had come again last night, Jerry had found himself in the same worried state.

The fact that today was Megan's due date was another cause for alarm and Julia had been unable to close her eyes all night. Jerry had tried to reinforce what Lindsey had said to them the day before, that it was not time to panic yet. Neither she nor Megan's attorney had heard anything from Megan about a plan to revoke the agreement. Sydney had also reported that Megan had continued to attend the counseling sessions and had told Julia how some birth mothers needed to take a step back before they prepared for the last step in the process. Even with all of the helpful advice, however, it was difficult not to panic right now. He had never seen Julia so happy and the thought of seeing her devastated again made Jerry's heartache even more.

They had allowed their hopes and dreams to grow more every day and Jerry feared the dread that was imposing on the dreams now. Jerry looked up to make sure that he was alone and then shook his head -- he knew that Julia was in the nursery where she had spent most of the past several hours. Jerry then opened the drawer to the desk and pulled out the small soccer ball he had bought two weeks before. It had been the day before Father's Day and Jerry had dreamt that morning of teaching his son or daughter how to kick their first soccer ball. In his dream, Jerry did not know if that child was the next Manu Petit or Mia Hamm in the making, but he knew how his heart had soared at the sight. The same afternoon, Jerry had gone out and bought the ball as a Father's Day gift from the toddler in his dreams.

Jerry squeezed the ball as it fit perfectly into the large palm of his right hand. His gape became fixed on the alternating black and white pattern of the ball as Jerry sat there and let the images from the dream fill his head. He was caught up in the joy of the moment and did not realize that Julia had entered the den. Julia silently exhaled as she watched him. She felt the pain in her chest as she saw the happiness in Jerry's eyes. Juxtaposed against that joy in his eyes was the worry line between Jerry's eyebrows. They were walking such a tightrope now and there did not seem to be even a trace of a net beneath them.

Jerry came back to the present and found Julia standing there. He opened the drawer to return the ball to its place of safekeeping as he heard Julia's voice.

"I'm so sorry."

Jerry looked up from the desk as he questioned her. "What do you have to be sorry about?"

"You did this because of me," Julia murmured as she approached the desk. "I was the one who was so sure..."

"Hey," Jerry said as he reached out to grab her. "You stop that this instant."

Julia spoke as Jerry pulled her onto his lap. "I made you think this was going to happen and if I read Megan wrong, your hopes were raised due to that."

"They were our hopes, kiddo," he reminded Julia. "They ARE our hopes and you have to nothing to apologize for. Besides any of that, we don't know that anything has changed at all."

"Something's happened, I can feel it," Julia declared in a trembling voice. "It's been ten days since I've talked to her. What if she changed her mind?"

"What if she hasn't? Maybe she just needs a little time and space," Jerry said while he laced his fingers through hers. "Whatever happens, we're going to get through this.... just like we promised."

Julia looked directly at Jerry as she responded. "I know we will, but some days I wonder how anyone ever does this."

"Well, no one ever said it was going to be easy," he replied with a sigh.

"No, they didn't," Julia whispered as she rested her head against Jerry's chest.

Jerry stroked Julia's hair as he spoke in a hushed tone. "Why don't you try to get some sleep? You were up all night and...."

"Did you just hear that," Julia asked as she quickly sat up. "That's the cell phone."

Before Jerry had a chance to make a sound, Julia had already bolted from the chair and was halfway through the door. Jerry got up from the chair and it was only then that he heard the quiet sound of the phone. Julia was already through the nursery door to get to the cell phone she had left there.

She picked up the phone and hit the power button "Hello."

"Hello. I'm trying to reach Julia," came a male voice from the other end.

"This is Julia," she said in a winded utterance.

"This is Megan's father, Sean. She asked....she asked that I call you."

Julia turned to face Jerry as he came into the nursery. "Is Megan all right?"

"Yes, she's okay...they're both okay," he replied. "Megan's in the hospital. The baby came late last night."

Julia heard all the air expel from her lungs and her voice shook. "She and the baby are both really okay?"

"Yes, the doctor said everything went fine for them both," Sean affirmed. "Megan's resting but she ... she says she needs to see you....you and your husband."

Julia fought to find her voice as Jerry puts his hands on her shoulders. "When?

"Can you get here later today," he asked. "The nurse said she should be up to visitors then."

"Would you hold a moment," Julia queried as she wet her suddenly dry lips.

"Certainly," Sean answered in a sympathetic tone at the obvious anxiety in Julia's tone.

She hit the hold button on the phone. "She's had the baby .... but she wants us to see us....today." Julia tried to calm her shaky nerves. "We never talked about that."

"We've come this far on hope and your intuition," Jerry reminded her. "What do you think?"

"We have to know what her decision is," Julia said with a deep exhale. "Let's go."

"I'll call the hanger and get the jet, you find out exactly where we need to be in Massachusetts," Jerry told her as he went out into the hall to get the other phone.

"I'm sorry," she said into the phone. "I just need all the information and you tell Megan that we'll be there."

Sean gave Julia the address and phone number to the hospital outside of Worcester and then Jerry gave her the estimate arrival time for the short flight. Sean then spoke again. "As far as any information about the baby, if you want that...."

Julia stopped him as her voice wavered again. "I think it's better if we wait....if we wait until after we speak with Megan…"

"I understand," he admitted. "Megan will be waiting. Good-bye Julia."

Thank you and good-bye," Julia stated and then turned off the phone.

Jerry immediately wrapped his arms around her as Julia allowed herself to give into the emotions of the moment. In a few hours they were going to have some answers that could change their lives forever. As her eyes surveyed the room, her heart fluttered at the possibility that it could finally come to life as a nursery. Then they could all be living with the family that now, only their dreams allowed them to enjoy.

The Barrett/Jacks Penthouse -- 9:30pm

The lullaby from the balloon mobile played as Julia sat in the rocking chair. Her right hand held the pen to her journal while the fingers of her left hand, gripped the wad of tissue. She knew she had used an entire box of kleenex since they had stepped into the small room at St. Ann's Hospital earlier this afternoon. It had only been a few hours since then but life had changed forever when a face had been put to the name and they had met the freckled faced and button nosed Megan. The natural blonde highlights in her light brown hair had shined almost as brightly as the crystal blue color of her eyes. Megan had looked so small and fragile in the hospital bed but her inner strength and spirit were as unmistakable as her outward beauty from that very first moment. The musical lilt in her voice was even more evident in person than it had been in their conversations on the telephone. Within five minutes of meeting her, Julia had been convinced that all the harps in heaven had served as the accompaniment to Megan's melodious words. There could have been nothing less than that to complement the promises of an angel on earth.

We met the mother who give you life today and then she gave us life by giving you to us. She is beautiful, even more on the inside than out. She is also the strongest person I have ever met and loves you more than words could ever convey. She will be in our hearts always because she loved you enough to allow your father and I to love you and take care of you forever. God and the angels brought us all together for now all our prayers, hopes and dreams have been answered as you now belong to us. You were given to our loving care and we vow to be there for you always. The most precious gift anyone could ever give was bestowed on us today and it feels as if all the voices in heaven are in this room as we await your homecoming.

With the phone to his ear, Jerry stood at the window in the den and looked out at the stars in the night sky. It was impossible to believe they had ever been as brilliant or had twinkled so brightly. He shook his head and smiled as Jane became composed and resumed speaking.

"Jerry, I just can't say how happy I am for the two of you. I know ....this is all you've been waiting for and .....and everyone's prayers have been answered," Jane said as her voice shook.

"Sometimes I wondered if we would ever get to this point but it's here," he murmured softly. "Mum, I never thought anything could feel like this."

Her tears started again. "The two of you held on and now you have everything you ever wanted. We will never be able.... to thank God enough.... for sending Megan... to you and Julia."

"We know, Mum," Jerry affirmed as he felt his own eyes well up with tears again.

"Your old mum is a blubbering mess, I'll get your father," she told him. "I love all three of you and you're already a family."

He blinked back the tears. "Thanks Mum. We love you too."

Jerry was never going to be able to say another word about "happy tears" ever again. The tears had started to brim his eyes as soon as Megan had spoken about all she wanted for her child and how she just had to meet them to know that he and Julia could provide that. The tears had rolled down his cheeks after that when Megan had handed Julia the consent to adoption documents fully signed and witnessed. Then when the nurse wheeled the isolette into the room and Megan introduced them to their son, the tears had turned into a steady stream. He was beautiful and perfect and theirs and life had never felt so good.

Julia wiped away her tears as she felt her heart flutter in her chest again. There was not one solitary moment of this day that she would ever forget. She picked up the pen again and began to inscribe the memories in her journal.

Your father cried for joy the first moment he laid eyes on you. It was the most beautiful sight I have ever seen. You looked like a sleeping angel as you laid there, swaddled in your bed. Your father simply was mesmerized at all eight pounds of you and he was powerless to the tears. When you are old enough to understand, you will realize just how much love he has in his heart. He will spend the rest of his life protecting you, while at the same time, teaching you to be strong, courageous and to never give up on what you want from life. As he does that, your father will learn about the rapture found in tears of joy. Today, you gave him his first lesson.

"Son, your mother and I could not be happier," John exclaimed in a robust voice. "I can't wait to see my newest grandson. There's lots to tell the boy."

Jerry laughed at his father's enthusiasm. "Dad, Julia already warned you about safari gear for a homecoming present for him."

"We've got to work on that sheila about that," John returned with a hearty chuckle. "Julia has to be taught that speaking about big game the way she does is pure sacrilege in this family. The newest Jacks has to know all about the rewards of battle."

"He will, Dad," Jerry pledged with a smile. "Let's just give Julia a few months before you bring out the safari hat and snake bite kit."

A grin covered John's face as he spoke. "She sounded like she was literally walking on the clouds when you called from the plane earlier."

The tears stung Jerry's eyes again at the memory. "Dad, if you could have seen her.... if you could have seen her when she held him. It was as if the room was suddenly bathed in more light than the Sahara has ever seen."

"I know, son. Those are moments you will never forget," John replied in a comforting tone. "And you'll be thankful every day for that." John cleared his throat of his own emotions. "Brenda wants to talk to you so I'll get her but just remember, you and Julia are going to make that grandson of mine very proud."

"Thanks Dad," he gratefully responded.

Jerry knew how much truth was in his father's words. He was never going to forget the vision of Julia holding their son. It was as if time had stood still for a moment to allow the memory to be etched into his heart forever. He had felt his own heart stop momentarily at the sight and it was at that moment that he knew that heaven and God had to exist somewhere. Whatever or whoever He or She was -- not that he would EVER admit to Julia the possibility that God was a She -- only God and heaven could have brought such a miracle into life and given them such a moment for their hearts to hold forever.

Julia smiled as the moonlight shimmered through the window. Today, even the moon seemed to be rejoicing around them. A beam covered Julia's face as she let her heart speak among the pages.

It's been five hours since I held you and I can still feel you in my arms. It was the most incredible moment of my life. As soon as I saw you, I knew I was your mother but the first moment I held you, I knew you knew it too. It was at that moment that you immediately opened your eyes. It was not a long gaze, those bright blue beacons were barely exposed for an entire second but they met my eyes. Then you peacefully sighed and then closed your eyes and returned to your blissful sleep in my arms. It was as if you were ensuring that your mother's arms were holding you. I knew at that moment that I belonged to you as much as you belonged to me and my heart has never felt such pure joy.

"Hey, how are the nerves of the new father," Brenda asked in an excited tone.

"I'm fine. You're the one who was running around and screaming like a banshee," he teased. "Then my brother wonders why Roo climbs the walls."

"Just wait until we see what that poor child picks up from you," Brenda goaded in retort. "Thank heavens Julia will be there to retrain him as well as his doting aunt and uncle."

A smirk appeared in Jerry's face as he spoke. "I've seen what you've done with that zoo over there, so you're not coming near my son."

"It feels more incredible to say that than you ever imagined, doesn't it? Just like it did when you held him in your arms," Brenda declared as the corner of her mouth curved into a smile. "Don't even try to deny it since I've seen through you since day one, Jerry Jacks."

Jerry rolled his eyes at Brenda's smugness even though she had spoken nothing but the truth. "I have no intention of denying it. It was… it was like nothing I've ever known."

"I'm so glad," she crooned in a dulcet tone. "You're going to love him more with every passing day and he will amaze you more than you could ever know."

"I'm not sure how," Jerry countered proudly. "He's already the most perfect and precious thing on this earth."

Brenda grinned into the phone. "Of course, that is what all parents say about their children. Welcome to the club, Jerry, or should I say Daddy."

"Thanks," Jerry told her as Brenda then went to get Jax.

She was right, Jerry thought as he sat there. He had felt like a "daddy" from the first moment of seeing his son. There had finally been a face to put to the image in his head and a child to become the "Jeremy Thomas" of their dreams. When Julia had placed their son in his arms, suddenly Jerry felt that he had everything he could have ever wanted. When Jerry finally was able to let Jeremy out of his arms, Julia had unswaddled him and they had counted each of Jeremy's ten toes and ten fingers. Jeremy had dutifully acquiesced to his parents’ inspection for a few moments before loudly registering his complaint. The roar had immediately provided Jerry the chance to bestow the nickname, "Tiger," on his son. The din had brought a beam to Jerry's face as had Julia's kiss of Jeremy's cheeks as she swaddled the baby and then rocked him back to sleep. Jeremy was perfect and he was theirs and it was all extraordinary.

Julia stood over the cradle and picked up the koala from the corner. She walked over to the rocking chair and sat in the glider again. Julia held the soft stuffed toy in her lap and penned her thoughts in the journal.

We had chosen your name months ago and had just been waiting for your arrival to finally have our Jeremy Thomas. We have you in our hearts now and in less than forty-eight hours, we will have you in this room that has been waiting to be your home. Tonight is the first time it has felt like a nursery and on Monday when you are finally with us, it will feel like our own piece of heaven. Until then, this special koala is here in your place. Your daddy bought it right after we left the hospital as a special gift for you. He will teach you all about koalas and kangaroos and everything else that you need to know. Then when you meet your Uncle Jax, he will tell you a Jacks family story about your daddy and a koala. Your grandparents will have plenty of stories about your daddy, as will Aunt Brenda and your three cousins. Jillian will probably start warning you about his teasing but it is one of the reasons we love him so much. We never admit that to him so that will be Mommy's first lesson to you. You'll love him as much as I do and he'll love us even more than that. We're all so lucky and we're all going to be a family, thanks to you.

Jax took the phone from Brenda and immediately baited his brother. "Thank God Julia did not let you talk her into naming the poor child, Jeremiah, after you."

"It is a lot better than Jasper or should I say Jasparilla," Jerry bantered in retort.

"Still jealous since the girls only had eyes for the distinguished and charming Jacks brother," Jax needled Jerry. "I hope that boy has better luck than you do. Never fear, Uncle Jax will teach him how to be suave and debonair."

"Bloody hell," Jerry groaned. "You would not know suave and debonair if you fell on your @#$%*& ass."

"Tsk, Tsk," Jax said as his tongue clicked against the roof of his mouth. "Remember that little pitchers have big ears and that language is a no-no now, Daddy."

A big simper covered Jerry's face. "I guess it is…although you'll always be a pain in the @#$%*& ass brother."

"I'm really going to have to teach Jeremy that all Jackses are not the poor losers that you are," Jax countered as he snickered. "Of course, Jeremy will just be another Jacks to add to the list of those who will defeat you."

Jerry shook his head as he sat there. "I warned you that the sun would fry your feeble brain even more with all that kayaking and surfing but you did not listen to your elder. Don't worry, I'll make sure neither Jonathan nor the sheilas follow suite. They'll have a hard enough time keeping up with their cousin as it is."

Jax smiled broadly as he spoke. "Julia said he had some real meat on him."

"Completely solid. He's going to be a bruiser so that porker of yours will have some competition very soon," Jerry proudly boasted.

"I'll warn Jonathan in the morning so he can start stocking up on protein shakes," Jax replied as his grin broadened.

"And Jasper, he has real hair. He's not a cue ball like a certain peanut was for the first eight months of his life," Jerry added in pure delight.

"Good, that will make up for you since you're losing yours, unlike a certain younger brother who isn't," Jax quipped before becoming serious. "When do I get to meet this boy wonder of yours?"

The excitement was apparent in Jerry's response. "We meet on Monday morning in her lawyer's office and the social worker turns him over to us there. We'll drive back and be home by mid afternoon."

Jax sighed in contentment at the sound of Jerry's voice. "That's great. Even if you do look like a cue ball before Jeremy is six year old, he's still one very lucky joey to have both you and Julia as parents. Congratulations, big brother and get some sleep while you still can."

"Thank you, little brother," Jerry echoed in return. "Good night."

Jerry hung up the phone and opened the drawer to the desk one more time. He took out the soccer ball and smiled as he juggled it between his hands. "One day, Jeremy. One day soon," he murmured before returning the ball to the drawer. Jerry then rose from the chair and turned off the lamp before going to find Julia.

As he reached the doorway to the nursery, only the small balloon lamp and the moonlight provided the illumination in the room. Julia was standing over the cradle as she put the koala inside the bed. The way the moonlight surrounded her, it was as if she was framed in radiance. When Julia turned toward the door, the joy on her face glowed even more brightly than the moonbeams around her.

Julia flashed him a huge smile. "In just two more days, we'll have him here."

"I know, kiddo," Jerry affirmed with his own smile. "In two more days, Jeremy will be home with us."

"Then we'll be a real family," Julia said as she reached Jerry at the door. "Then we'll have everything we ever wanted."

Jerry put his arms around her. "Thank you for coming into my life and helping me to understand what I really wanted."

"Thank you for letting me to discover what being a family really means," Julia echoed in return. "Jerry, I love you so much."

"I love you right back," Jerry said as he kissed her.

Jerry continued to hold her as they watched the moonlight reflect off the brass to illuminate the cradle in the center of the room. The feel of life and love in the nursery was what they had dreamed about for years now. In less than two days, the magic in the room would be from their Jeremy and their family life would truly start.

Monday, July 30, 2003
Port Charles -- 2:45pm

Jerry looked in the rearview mirror into the back seat for what had to be the one-hundredth time in the past two hours of the trip from Springfield. His gape had seen the identical sight each time as Julia had never taken her eyes off Jeremy. Julia was constantly checking to ensure that he was still breathing and when not doing that, she had plagued Jerry with questions as to how fast he was driving. Their son had been much less worried than his parents had been as the baby had slept through the entire journey. It had been a little over three-hour trip thus far but the car had just crossed over the Port Charles city limits. In a few minutes, Jeremy would be home and their life together as a family would truly start.

Julia's elbow was positioned against the side of the car seat as she watched the consistent rise and fall of the baby's chest. She could not keep her eyes off of him and her face glowed at the way Jeremy's upper lip curled up as he slept. Between that and his cute button nose, she did not know which was more adorable. Julia could not stop herself from reaching out to brush her fingertip against the soft skin of the baby's hand. She lifted her eyes for a moment and caught Jerry's gaze in the mirror.

"I'm afraid if I look away, he'll disappear," she confessed in a hushed tone.

"Jeremy's not going to disappear," Jerry assured her. "We're going home and that is where we will all be."

Her voice shook with emotion as Julia continued to stare at the baby. "He's already ours and we love him so much."

"I know," Jerry answered in a comforting tone. "And Jeremy knows that too."

"Do you hear that, Jeremy Thomas," Julia exclaimed with a whisper as she smiled. "Daddy and Mommy love you."

Maybe it's intuition
Some things you just don't question
Like in your eyes
I see my future in an instant and there it goes
I think I've found my best friend
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

As the car neared the condominium building, Jeremy's eyes fluttered open and his face contorted into a frown as Julia stroked his cheek. "We're almost home, sweetheart."

The baby fussed a bit as Jerry looked into the mirror again. "Is he hungry again already?"

"He's probably tired of sitting in this seat," Julia responded as she took the pacifier from the diaper bag. "Here sweetie and we'll have Daddy drive faster so we'll be home in just a few minutes."

"Now you want me to drive faster," Jerry muttered in mock retort with a roll of his eyes.

Julia groaned as she shook her head. "Jerry, mothers are allowed to change their mind, especially new mothers with about four hours of experience. Just drive the speed limit."

"Jeremy, sometimes your mother has no clue what she wants so you'll have to get used to that," Jerry bantered as he caught Julia's eyes in the mirror.

"And you'll learn how to ignore your father just like the rest of us do," Julia countered as she held the pacifier against Jeremy's mouth.

A few minutes later, Jerry pulled the car into the parking space in the garage and Julia cooed to Jeremy who had begun to fret again. "It's okay, Jeremy, we're going to be out in just a few minutes and then we'll have a bottle."

"Hey, what's up, tiger," Jerry said as opened the car door and unhooked the carrier from the car seat. "You're about to take your first real elevator ride all the way to the top."

Julia grabbed the diaper bags while Jerry carried the seat. "We're almost there and Grandma and Grandpa are waiting to meet you."

Jerry rocked the seat back and forth as the baby quieted down. "There, you just wanted to move, didn't you?"

They entered the elevator and Julia hit the button for the penthouse level. She smiled at Jeremy and then lifted her eyes to Jerry. "This is really happening, isn't it? I'm not dreaming, am I? He's really ours."

"No, kiddo, you're not dreaming," Jerry replied with a bright grin. "We're all here and he's ours."

Tears crept into Julia's eyes once again. It had been a day for that and there were still several hours remaining for the tears to continue. She had cried when Lindsey had met them at the lawyer's office earlier this morning and those tears had become joyful sobs when the social worker had arrived with Jeremy a few minutes later. All the necessary documents had been signed and he was theirs to bring home. There was a six-month waiting period before the adoption would be finalized by the courts but today was not a day for those worries. Today was only for celebration.

The celebration was evident as were more of her tears as the doors opened and Jerry and Julia stepped off the elevator. A teddy bear 'Congratulations!' banner was attached to the outside of the penthouse door, announcing the new addition. Before Jerry and Julia could even reach the front door, it came open with John and Jane standing there as they had been waiting to hear the elevator doors open.

"Sweetie, this is your very special Grandma and Grandpa we told you all about," Julia chirped as John stood there with the video camera.

"Let me see my new grandson," Jane implored as she took a peak into the infant seat. "Oh, look at this handsome boy."

Jeremy stretched and his right hand came out of the blanket. "Look at the size of those mitts on him," John boasted as he kept the camcorder running. "He'll be able to handle the large bow before you know it."

Julia grinned through her tears as they walked into the penthouse. "Yes, he's beautiful and I'll forget I heard any reference to what those mitts could be used for."

"We'll make sure she comes around, my boy," John murmured to the baby.

Julia exhaled a sigh of joy at the sight of the balloons, flowers and huge teddy bear positioned around the foyer. "Look at this place."

"They've been arriving all morning," Jane informed Julia. "Ned and Lois, Scott and Francesca, Matt and Robin and Edward and Lila all sent something. The teddy bear is from Jillian and the twins."

Jerry put the carrier down beside the large chocolate teddy bear and grabbed the camera from the diaper bag. "Hey there, Jeremy, give me one of those handsome looks again."

"Precious, this is from your special cousins," Julia crooned as she knelt down in front of the baby. "They'll be here later to meet you."

Jerry snapped a picture and Julia then took Jeremy out of his seat. "Here we are, Jeremy. This is home."

"What do you think, tiger," Jerry asked as the baby then began to fuss. "Oh, you're not a fan of Georgia O'Keefe either."

"You need to eat but first let's go change you," Julia murmured as she kissed Jeremy's cheek.

"I'll get a bottle for him," Jane announced as she headed toward the kitchen.

"Thanks Jane," Julia said with a smile before kissing the baby again. "Do you want to see your new room?"

Jerry rubbed Jeremy's back as they moved toward the nursery. "There's that roaring again, you don't always have to live up to your nickname, tiger."

Julia put the baby down on the changing table and Jeremy wailed loudly. "Sorry sweetheart, but we need to change you."

"We're new at this too so we're all going to have to muddle through this," Jerry stated as he turned on the mobile. "Is that any better? I guess not," he then remarked as Jeremy fretted.

"Just a few more seconds, Mommy is still getting used to this," Julia declared as she fastened the snaps of his outfit. "There we go and here's Grandma with your bottle," Julia announced as she lifted Jeremy from the changing table and saw Jane enter the nursery.

"I bet this does the trick," Jane said with a lilting voice. "Master Jeremy, you have some lungs on you. You're definitely in the right place with this family."

Julia laughed softly as she took the bottle from Jane and then sat in the glider. She brought the bottle to Jeremy's lips and he immediately began drinking. Jane flashed Jerry a huge smile before leaving the new family for some special time together. Julia rocked slowly back and forth as the baby eagerly ate, periodically looking up at her as he did. She felt the breath catch in her throat as Jerry stood behind the chair and placed his hand on her shoulder.

"Jeremy, we love you so much," she whispered to the baby. "Daddy and I are going to take such good care of you."

"We sure are," Jerry echoed in return. "We've been waiting just to have the chance to do that."

There's just no rhyme or reason
Only this sense of completion
And in your eyes
I see the missing pieces
I'm searching for
I think I've found my way home
I know that it might sound more than a little crazy
But I believe
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

After he had drained his bottle, Julia gently patted Jeremy's back until she was rewarded with a burp. The baby sighed aloud and yawned as Julia hugged him against her chest. "Here's Daddy and your koala."

Jerry took him from Julia and held the baby against his shoulder. "Do you remember your koala," Jerry queried as he brushed the soft fur against Jeremy's cheek.

A beam covered Julia's face as Jerry continued his zoology lessons. "They're not actually bears or mammals, they're part of the marsupial family. They eat eucalyptus leaves and have very sharp claws to climb trees so be forewarned about that."

Jeremy's eyes fluttered a few times before they heard an extended sigh and the baby succumbed to sleep against Jerry's shoulder. "He's out," Julia murmured to Jerry.

"Bored by koalas already," Jerry muttered in a teasing voice. "We'll cure you of that real fast because I'm not into reciting fairytales."

"Daddy's going to put you into your cradle," Julia whispered as she kissed the baby's cheek. "Mommy and Daddy will be here when you wake up."

Jerry laid him down as Julia patted Jeremy's back. "Yes, tiger, we'll be here. We'll be here always for you."

Jeremy sighed deeply and then nuzzled his hand against his face as he drifted into blissful slumber. Julia brought her trembling fingers to her mouth as her eyes surveyed the room. "It's really a nursery now. Can't you feel how much love is here?"

"Yes, we can all feel it," Jerry affirmed as he put his arm around Julia. As he looked down at Jeremy again, Jerry felt his own emotions getting the best of him. He simply shook his head in awe as he silently pledged his gratitude to the heavens and remembered Jillian's lessons about talking to the angels. Right now, Jerry had no doubt of their existence as only angels in heaven could have shared one of their own to be an angel on this earth.

A thousand angels dance around you
I am complete now that I've found you
I knew I loved you before I met you
I think I dreamed you into life
I knew I loved you before I met you
I have been waiting all my life

The Barrett/Jacks Penthouse -- 6:15pm

Julia watched Jeremy stirring in the cradle as she sat in the rocking chair with her journal. After almost nine months of penning her thoughts, there was a child who, one day, would read them and know exactly how much he was loved and wanted from the very start.

You're finally here with us. It was the longest two days of my life, but this morning finally came and there you were. I don't know how I restrained myself long enough to not jump out of the chair and rush over to Sydney to grab you and then never let go. You already feel like you've been ours forever and it's been barely forty-eight hours since we first saw you. Daddy and I have been dreaming about you for so long but having you here with us is even more incredible than either one of us ever imagined. It's incomprehensible how much love a heart can hold and we love you more with every passing minute. We're going to spend the rest of our lives showing you just how much and making this the happiest family possible for you. I know the courts won't officially make you ours for another six months but in our hearts, you already belong to us and that is all that matters. We chose you and you found us and we're going to be the family all of us need. We love you, Jeremy, and that love will last forever.

The baby awoke from his nap and Julia reached into the cradle and picked him up. "Hello sweetheart, Mommy's right here. Your Aunt Brenda, Uncle Jax and your cousins will be here soon so let's get even more handsome."

Jerry stood in the hallway and smiled as he watched Julia. At the sound of a knock at the door, he then moved into the foyer. He opened the front door and found Brenda carrying two shopping bags full of wrapped gifts.

She literally threw the bags at Jerry. "Where is he? Is he sleeping?"

Jerry chuckled at the look on Brenda's face. "What, you didn't come to see me?"

Brenda patted Jerry's cheek as she spoke. "Sorry, Jer, you've lost your number one male ranking in this house now."

"I gathered that already, I don't think Lady Jane has even looked at me all afternoon," he retorted with a dramatic sigh.

"Complaining already, Jeremiah," came Jane's voice from the hallway. "Do we need sharing lessons again?"

Brenda laughed as Jerry rolled his eyes at her. "Where is the rest of your group? Did you finally wise up and ditch the lowly Jasper? And I was expecting Roo to be climbing the walls already like the usual chip off the old maternal block."

"They're on the way. They stopped to feed the ducks and Jillian needed to finish her snowcone from our picnic dinner in the park," Brenda informed him. "And we want you and Julia to tell Jillian about her cousin. We could have never kept her across the street for dinner if we had said one word," she said with a laugh.

"But you couldn't wait...as usual," Jerry teased. "Some day the Energizer Bunny is going to come look for those batteries."

"It's an aunt's prerogative. Now, are you going to introduce me to your son or not," Brenda queried in a determined voice.

Jerry exhaled in mock distress. "I guess I'll have to before those batteries short out and cause a fire here."

Jane called to John in the den and then turned to Brenda. "Pa and I will go downstairs for a few minutes with the children and send Jax up."

"Thanks Jane," Brenda said with a smile. "This group can be a bit overwhelming now."

"No joke," Jerry muttered with a shake of his head. "I've seen typhoons wreak less havoc than those munchkins of yours."

Brenda swatted Jerry's arm as he snickered and then she dragged him toward the sound of a fussing Jeremy. They moved down the hallway and followed the din into the nursery where Julia had just finished changing the baby into a new outfit to meet his next admirers.

"Here's your Aunt Brenda," Julia crooned as she lifted Jeremy from the changing table. "Can you say hello?"

"Ooh, look at this adorable little boy," Brenda murmured in an emotional voice as she met Julia's eyes. "He is so beautiful."

Julia flashed her a beaming smile as tears formed at the corner of her eyes. "Thank you. Would you like to hold him?"

"I thought you'd never ask," Brenda exclaimed as she held her arms out.

"Jeremy, show Aunt Brenda what a good boy you are," Julia stated as she placed the baby in Brenda's arms.

"Hello sweetheart," Brenda cooed as tears rimmed her eyes. "You are so handsome."

Jerry took a deep breath at the sight of the Barrett happy tears. They were really infectious. He then grinned as he reached out and touched Jeremy's face. "Hey tiger, another compliment from a female. That charm's already showing."

"Well, at least one male in this house has some charm," Jax announced as he walked into the nursery.

Jerry leaned down and mumbled to Jeremy. "This is that Uncle Jasper I warned you about. A total geek."

Jax walked over to Brenda and took the baby's hand. "Hey there, Jeremy. You've got a grip, don't you?" He then smirked as he glanced at Jerry before looking back at Jeremy. "Don't worry, we'll play ball when your old man is in his wheelchair."

Brenda snuggled Jeremy against her cheek. "You'll get used to their bantering, sweetheart, and ignore it just like your mother and I do." As Jeremy nuzzled his face against Brenda's face, she smiled. "Oh, you're a cuddler. Your Mommy's going to love that."

"You'd better get that baby away from her, Jasper," Jerry declared with a smug grin. "Otherwise, you'll be going out again on those 2am runs to get hot peppers and french fries for a craving lunatic."

"No, you and Julia can handle the new additions to the Jacks family now," Brenda retorted as she handed Jeremy to Julia.

Julia put the baby over her shoulder as he began to fret. "I think this new addition needs some dinner."

Julia and Brenda went into the kitchen while Jerry and Jax headed to the den. Jerry poured drinks for everyone and when Julia and Brenda returned, Jax proposed a toast. "To the newest member of the family, Jeremy Thomas. May your mother's influence prevail and may your sense of humor be abounding to tolerate your father. Salud."

Jerry glared at Jax as everyone clinked glasses and then tapped their glasses against Jeremy's bottle. Julia sat down on the couch next to Jerry and began to feed the baby.

The front door then opened and Jillian's voice was immediately heard. "Look at the balloons and the teddy bear. Is it a party? That balloon says 'boy' on it."

A grin covered Jax's face as he muttered to Jerry. "She reads better than you do."

"Come on in, Jillian, we're in the den," Brenda called out.

Jillian scampered into the den and stopped short at the sight of Julia. "Aunt Julia,.....you have a baby."

"Yes. Do you want to come take a closer look," she asked with a smile.

Jillian hurried over to the couch as John pushed the double stroller into the den. Brenda got up from the chair and helped John unbuckle the twins.

"Is he a boy like the balloons say," Jillian asked as she looked down at the baby.

"Yes, he's a boy," Jerry responded. "His name is Jeremy and he's been waiting to meet you, Roo."

Jillian looked at Jerry as she spoke. "Did he need a mommy and daddy?"

Jerry nodded his head. "Yes, Jeremy found us and we found him."

"And you're gonna be his mommy and daddy all the time," she questioned. "And he's gonna live here and you're gonna take care of him?"

"Yes, we're going to love and take care of Jeremy forever just like your mommy and daddy will do for you and Jessica and Jonathan." Julia held Jillian's hand as she continued. "We're all a family now."

Jillian's entire face lit up. "Now I have a cousin....just like Brooke," She excitedly turned to face Jax and Brenda who were sitting with the twins. "And Jessica and Jonathan have a cousin too."

Jerry chuckled at her. "Yes, Roo, you have a cousin."

Julia lifted the baby onto her shoulder to burp him. "Jeremy, this is your cousin, Jillian. "She's been waiting for you almost as long as we have."

Jeremy burped loudly and Jillian giggled at him. "He's loud like Jonathan when he burps."

"Look at his hair though, Roo," Jerry said as he stroked the back of Jeremy's head. "He has a lot more hair than your brother had."

"Beee," squealed Jonathan as he tried to get away from Brenda.

"Yes, that's a baby," Brenda affirmed. "That's your baby cousin."

Jillian reached out and touched Jeremy's cheek as Julia held him. "He's so soft and his eyes are really blue."

Jessica babbled at the sight of Jillian with Jeremy. Jax lifted the toddler onto his lap. "You see the baby, don't you?"

John took out the video camera as Brenda then walked Jonathan over to the couch. "Can you say baby?"

"Here comes the brute. Watch out, Jeremy," Jerry teased.

"Easy," Brenda warned as she held onto Jonathan's hand. "Be sweet. Can you say hi to Jeremy?"

"He's a boy like you," Jillian told her brother.

Jonathan squealed again and Brenda guided his hand to touch the baby's foot. "Okay, you saw your cousin, let's go back and look at your book."

Jessica shrieked to voice her protest at not being part of the fun and Jax shook his head. "Okay, we wouldn't dream of leaving you out of the action, pumpkin. We'll go say hi."

"This one is the rebel so be wary of her too," Jerry muttered to the baby.

Jax walked across the rug with Jessica who was waving the entire time at Julia. "Look sweetheart, Jessica is waving at you," Julia said as she lifted Jeremy so that Jessica could see him.

"Jessica likes to hug babies so she won't hurt him," Jillian declared to Julia.

True to form, Jessica laid her head against Jeremy's legs in her version of a hug. Jax patted his hand against her back. "That's Daddy's sweet little girl. Okay, let's wave bye to Jeremy and go see Jonathan."

"Can I hold Jeremy," Jillian then asked Julia. "I'll hold him real, real tight."

"Princess, Jeremy is still very small," Brenda said in an attempt to curtail Jillian's wishes.

Julia then motioned to Brenda and shook her head. "Jillian, I think Jeremy would like you to hold him so come sit right next to me and we'll put him on your lap.

Jillian excitedly sat down between Julia and Jerry and he handed her a throw pillow for her lap. "Here you go, Roo"

Julia patted Jeremy's back and then paid him down on the pillow across Jillian's lap. "Here we are, sweetheart. Now, Jillian has you."

"What a beautiful pair," Jane announced from the other side of the room.

Jillian grinned and then put her next to Jeremy's face. "Do we look like good cousins?"

"You look like perfect cousins," Jerry acknowledged with a sigh of contentment.

"Just like you said, Mommy," Jillian exclaimed as she looked up. "The angels did bring Aunt Julia and Uncle Jerry a baby so they're a family too."

Brenda nodded her head. "Yes, now we all have Jeremy to love."

"Jamie brought a boy for us, just like him," Jillian said automatically as she faced Jax. "That's special, isn't it Daddy?"

"Yes, Jillian, that's very special," Jax returned with a simper. "Thank you for reminding us."

Jillian flashed him a smile and Jax felt his heart melt at her radiant beam. As he felt Brenda's hand squeeze his, Jax understood once again how it felt to truly be alive.

Though these words I sing are true
They still fail to capture you
As mere words can only do
How do I explain that smile
And how it turns my world around
Keeping my feet on the ground
My baby you
Are the reason I could fly
And 'cause of you
I don't have to wonder why
Baby you
There's no more just getting by
You're the reason I feel so alive

Tuesday, December 30, 2003
The Barrett/Jacks Penthouse -- 6:45pm

As dusk fell on the early winter evening, the lights twinkled from the Christmas tree in the corner of the living room. With a little support from the sofa behind him, Jeremy was sitting on the rug as Jerry sat a few feet away from him. The baby babbled as Jerry showed him the soccer ball.

"Okay, let's see how much you remember from yesterday," Jerry commented as he rolled the soccer ball against his son's feet.

Julia sat with her journal in her lap as she watched them. "It seemed to me that he thought it was another drool toy yesterday."

"Tell your mother you know it is not a drool toy," Jerry groaned. "You know what to do."

Jeremy cooed at the ball and in trying to reach it with his hand, proceeded to fall forward and knock the ball a few inches forward in hitting it with the top of his head.

Jerry clapped his hands together and then looked over at Julia. "What did I tell you, he already understands how to head the ball."

Julia shook her head at Jerry as he picked up Jeremy who now was squealing and clapping for himself. They were both incorrigible and made such a pair and their beaming smiles made Julia's heart leap in her chest. As Julia began to pen her thoughts, she did not know how she could have lived without either one of the men in her life. Thanks to a judge's signature and her genuine congratulations to them this afternoon, today was a celebration of all of that.

You officially became Jeremy Thomas Jacks today. You have been truly ours from the first moment we laid eyes on you but now the law acknowledges that as well. No one can ever take you from us or deny that you are our son in every way. You have given your daddy and I more love and joy in the past six months than we have ever felt and it is just the beginning. We wished on so many stars for you that it had to be destined that this day came in the midst of the holiday season. That gold star at the top of the tree has never glimmered so brightly as it does now. You have brought such light into our lives and love into our hearts. Jeremy, you made us a family and not one day will ever go by that we are not grateful for that.

Jeremy babbled again as she closed the journal. Julia looked up at the clock on the mantel as she got down on the floor with Jerry and the baby. "Everyone will be here to see you in a few minutes, Jeremy Jacks."

Jerry put his arm around Julia. "We all got through it, kiddo. I can't even remember when we didn't have him."

"Neither can I," Julia said as she took a deep breath. "He's everything I ever wanted...and..."

"And more," Jerry voiced in completion of Julia's thoughts. "It's the same for me."

"I love you both so much," Julia murmured as she laid her head against Jerry's shoulder.

Jerry rested his head against hers as he lifted Jeremy into his lap. "We love you too."

I will soothe you if you fall
I'll be right there if you call
You're my greatest love of all
My baby you
Are the reason I could fly
And 'cause of you
I don't have to wonder why
Baby you
There's no more just getting by
You're the reason I feel so alive

The doorbell then rang and Jerry scooped Jeremy into his arms as Julia rose to her feet. "Here they are. Let's go get the door."

They all went to the foyer and opened the door to find John, Jane and the rest of the family in the hallway. Jillian was holding balloons and a wrapped gift, Jane had a cake and John carried a bottle of champagne and bottle of apple juice. Jax and Brenda were curtailing the twins from their new found antics as members of the 'terrible two's society.'

"Time for Jeremy's party," Jillian announced as she came into the foyer.

"He's ready," Jerry exclaimed as he winked at Jillian.

"Look at this smiling boy," Jane crooned as she beamed at her youngest grandson. "What a wonderful day this is."

Julia took the cake from Jane and kissed her cheek. "The best. Now why you don't take your grandson."

Jerry handed Jeremy to Jane and then took the cake from Julia. He and John went into the kitchen while Jax and Brenda came inside with the twins. Brenda hugged Julia. "I'm so happy for you all."

"He's really ours," Julia whispered in return as she sniffed back her tears.

Jillian looked up at Jax and grinned. "Mommy's gonna cry cause she's happy again."

Jax flashed her a smile. "That's okay, we like it when Mommy's happy."

"Today is a very happy day," Brenda said as she kissed Jeremy's cheek and then picked up Jessica to see her cousin.

"Is it time for cake," Jillian asked in a hopeful tone.

Julia laughed softly as she brushed away a tear from her eye. "Yes, we'd better get in the kitchen before Uncle Jerry eats the whole thing."

The moved into the kitchen where Jerry put Jeremy into his high chair and tied the balloons in the corner for him to watch. Jessica and Jonathan sat around the table and Jane cut the cake while Jillian gave Julia the gift.

Julia opened it to find a framed picture of her, Jerry and Jeremy from Christmas. "Thank you, what a beautiful picture."

Jillian pointed to the Christmas tree in the background. "See, there's the star on top that Jeremy likes."

Julia beamed at Jillian as she stroked her cheek. "Yes, the star is perfect. Thank you so much."

"Jeremy will love to look at this, Roo," Jerry remarked as he took the photo from Julia. "We'll find a very special place for it."

"You can have a picture wall just like us for pictures of the whole family," Jillian excitedly suggested.

"For the whole family," Julia echoed as she smiled again at Jillian. "That sounds perfect."

"I think this calls for a family toast," John declared as he lifted a glass of champagne.

"My sentiments exactly," Jane said as Jax handed out glasses of champagne. Brenda passed around cups of apple juice to Jillian, Jessica and Jonathan while Jeremy's was poured into his bottle.

"Mum and Dad, you do the honors," Jerry suggested as everyone held their glasses.

John lifted his glass again. "To the Jacks family. May we forever be surrounded by all the love and happiness we have today."

Jane completed the salute. "And may we never forget that the most important thing in this life is that we all have each other. That is the only thing that matters in the end. To all of us."

"To all of us," was chanted throughout the room as glasses clinked together and smiles abounded. It was just another day of celebration for the Jacks family. There would be many more to come as well as days of adversity but the love and support of the family would forever be a constant.

SONG CREDITS: My Baby You by Marc Anthony and Walter Afanasieff
                              I Need You by Leann Rimes
                              I Knew I Loved You by Darren Hayes and Daniel Jones