Sunday, October 29, 2000
J & B Stables -- Noon

Jax, Brenda and Jillian had arrived Friday afternoon to spend the weekend in Spring Meadows at their favorite country inn. J & B Stables was located just outside of town and Jax and Brenda had some arrangements to make for the upcoming show season. The trip had given them a chance to get some rest and relaxation and had allowed Brenda to spend some time with Dream. Robin had also joined them for the weekend. It was Robin's first trip to Spring Meadows and the stables.

Jax was watching some of the training runs for the top thoroughbreds as Steve Williams, the head trainer, brought him up to date about the latest training results. Steve and his wife, Abigail, oversaw the daily operations of the stables. Jillian was sitting on a blanket behind Jax as she enjoyed a tea party with Kayla, Steve's four year old daughter. Brenda and Robin were taking one last ride on the trails before everyone headed back to Port Charles.

Autumn was in full splendor as Brenda and Robin followed the trail back to the stables. The Autumn colors were still present even though many of the leaves had fallen from the trees. The air was cool and crisp but the sun was shining brightly. It had been a wonderful weekend for everyone.

Robin sighed contently. "This place is so beautiful."

Brenda smiled. "I am sorry that it has taken this long to get you here. Unfortunately, since you graduated and came back home five months ago, things have been a little turbulent."

"Brenda, you and Jax were trying to get your lives back and that is all that mattered. Why in the world are you concerned about me?"

Brenda took a deep breath as she maneuvered Dream down the path. "For starters, I love you. Beyond that, you were there for all of us when I was hanging on by a fingernail. There is no way that I will ever be able to thank you for that."

Robin shook her head and smiled. "Anything I did for you pales in comparison to what you have done for me and what you did for Stone. Without you, I could never have made it."

Brenda shook her head in wonder. "Robin, I can't believe it is going to be five years next month."

Robin dipped her head below a low-hanging tree branch on the trail. "I can't either. So much has changed, some of it even for the better." Robin turned her head to face Brenda. "Stone would be happy that you found someone like Jax."

Brenda sighed. "I hope so. I know how much Stone loved Sonny and how much Stone wanted us to be together. It was impossible though. We could not have ever been happy. What we had was never really love, at least not the kind that is necessary for two people to have in order to build a life together."

Robin nodded. "I understand that now and I also know that Stone understands that. The fact that you are happy is all that Stone would care about. And I know how happy you are, Brenda. Even with everything that has happened, I have never failed to see how much you and Jax love each other."

Brenda smiled brightly. "I love him so much and I know that he loves me the same way."

Robin grinned. "It is pretty obvious even to people who have just met you for the first time. I have spent more time with you and Jax over the past five months than I have since the two of you were married over four years ago and there is just something so special about the way you are with each other."

Brenda looked at Robin. "What do you mean?"

"I mean the way you look at each other from across the room. And the way that Jax takes your hand or caresses the back of your neck when he speaks to you. Or the way you stroke his face or thread your fingers through his hair when you are with him. It's as if you are making love to one another when you are just standing there talking. Sometimes I don't even think either of you realize you are doing it."

Brenda's cheeks blushed slightly. "I did not realize it was that obvious."

Robin nodded. "It is and it is so beautiful to watch. And I have seen so much of it this weekend between the two of you." Robin turned and looked straight at Brenda. "I am so glad that you two are working things out."

Brenda slowly exhaled. "We can't do this without each other."

Robin gave Brenda a lopsided grin. "That is how it is supposed to be when two people have committed to spend their lives together."

Brenda nodded. "I understand that now and I know how very lucky we are to have each other."

Robin smiled. "You certainly are."

Brenda looked over at Robin as the stable area came into view. "Robin, you are going to be just as lucky one day."

Robin sighed. "I hope so."

As Brenda and Robin approached the training area, Jillian and Kayla were running through the adjacent field blowing bubbles. The girls waved as Brenda and Robin neared the field.

"Mommy and Aunt Robin, look at the bubbles."

Brenda smiled as she took Jax's hand and stepped down from Dream. "I see them, sweetheart."

Steve helped Robin down from Cyclone. "Jillian, you and Kayla have made this look like a bubble factory."

Kayla giggled. "Jillian, let's make more bubbles."

Jillian squealed and the two girls ran around the field again with their bubble wands.

Jax smiled at the girls as he put his arm around Brenda. "How was the ride?"

Brenda smiled coyly. "It was wonderful. We met these two gorgeous studs on the trail. The horses they were riding were not bad either."

Jax flashed Brenda and Robin a huge grin. "Two studs?"

Robin nodded and smirked. "Yes. And I must say that they were quite enamored of us. I was trying to figure out a way to miss my study session tonight."

Brenda shrugged. "I know exactly what you mean. Unfortunately, I am tied up tonight as well with dinner at Jerry and Julia's house. Otherwise..."

Jax grabbed Brenda from behind and wrapped his arms tightly around her waist. "Otherwise what, Mrs. Jacks?"

Brenda turned her head toward Jax and raised her eyebrow. "Otherwise, Robin and I would have had quite a fulfilling afternoon. Oh well, at least Robin and I now have something to look forward to for the next trip. Poor Clint and Buck will just have to be patient."

Jax bit the side of his mouth to keep from laughing. "Clint and Buck?"

Brenda smiled. "The studs."

Steve covered his mouth to hide his mirth as Robin sighed in agreement. "That they sure were. Tall, dark and incredibly handsome. And so charming."

Brenda nodded. "Did you see how incredible Clint's hands were?"

Robin laughed giddily. "Yes. And what about those shoulders on Buck? And they were so disappointed about our prior commitments for this evening. At least you have their phone numbers to reach them when you come back in a few weeks. I think I will just have to join you."

Brenda shook her head in approval. "You must." Brenda then glanced over at Jax and whispered to Robin. "I will see to it that Jax stays in Port Charles with Jillian for the weekend."

The next thing Brenda knew she was hanging upside down over the back of Jax's shoulder. Jax was holding her by her boot and dangling her over the trough for the horses. She began laughing and Robin unsuccessfully tried to fight off her own hysterics. As they were blowing bubbles across the field, Jillian and Kayla heard the hilarity of the adults and ran over to them.

Jillian was giggling as Brenda was laughing and struggling over Jax's shoulder. "Daddy, what are you doing to Mommy?"

Jax stopped laughing for a moment. "Jillian, Mommy has been very bad so she is being punished. I think she needs to cool off."

Brenda continued to laugh. "Stop it, Jax." She then grabbed the back of Jax's legs and wrapped her arms around them.

Jax moved closer to the trough. "Are you going to refrain from talking about Clint's incredible hands?"

Brenda clutched the denim of his jeans. "Yes."

Jax grinned. "And Buck's broad shoulders?"

"I promise."

Jax leaned forward and grabbed Brenda's wrist with his free hand and lowered her in front of him. "Mrs. Jacks, I think I will just have to accompany you on all your rides from now on."

Brenda sighed. "The rides just won't be the same." She then looked at Robin. "Sorry, but I guess we will just have to have the third wheel with us the next time."

Robin laughed and Jax swatted Brenda on the butt. Steve shook his head and smiled as he watched them. He then walked over to Kayla and told her that it was time for them to go home for lunch. Kayla and Jillian both groaned.

Brenda put her hands on Jillian's shoulders. "Sweetheart, we have to go home too. You will see Kayla in a few weeks. She is going to come visit us sometime over the Thanksgiving holiday when she comes to Port Charles to see her grandmother and grandfather."

Jax shook Steve's hand. "We will see you and Abigail at the gala in two weeks."

Brenda hugged Steve. "Please tell Abby that I will be in touch about the entrance forms for the Saratoga Springs show and about the details for the gala."

Jillian and Kayla hugged and Steve and Kayla said good-bye to everyone. Robin lifted Jillian into her arms and Jillian waved as Steve and Kayla walked across the field toward the truck.

Dream neighed and Brenda rubbed his head. "It is time for you to go back to your stall."

Jax walked over to Cyclone and looked at Brenda. "I think I had better take him back with you in case you run into any more studs on your way to the stables."

Brenda slyly smiled at him and then spoke to Jillian. "Mommy and Daddy are going to take the horses back while you stay with Aunt Robin. Then we are going to head home so you can take a nap in the car before we go to Uncle Jerry and Aunt Julia's tonight. Come over here and say good-bye to Dream and Cyclone."

Robin walked Jillian over to the horses and Jillian patted Dream and Cyclone behind their ears.

Jax then helped Brenda onto Dream and then mounted Cyclone. "Princess, we will be right back."

Brenda waved at Jillian and then looked at Jax as she started toward the stables. "Jax, did I mention how extraordinary Clint's eyes were?"

Jax groaned. "Wait until I get my hands on you, Mrs. Jacks."

Brenda giggled and then quickly headed down the path toward the stables. "You have to catch me first, Mr. Jacks."

Robin shook her head and laughed at the two of them as Jax directed Cyclone into a fast gallop and followed Brenda. Robin kissed Jillian's cheek and hugged her. It felt so wonderful to see them all happy again.

The Barrett/Jacks Penthouse -- 7:30pm

Jillian was fidgeting as she sat next to Jax on the couch. "I can't wait to see Uncle Jerry."

Jax chuckled. "Neither can I."

Jillian climbed into Jax's lap. "Mommy says there are only two more days until Halloween."

Jax stroked her cheek. "That's right. Two more days."

Jax and Jillian heard footsteps coming down the stairs and looked up as Brenda appeared in the doorway to the living room.

Jillian smiled brightly. "Mommy, does Uncle Jerry like the costume you and Aunt Julia made for him?"

Brenda bit her lip and nodded. "Let's just say he had quite a few things to say to us."

Jax laughed as Brenda sat next to him on the couch. "I can imagine."

Brenda shook her head at Jax and mouthed to him. "Be nice."

Jillian heard Julia and Jerry's voices coming down the steps. "Uncle Jerry is coming."

Jillian scooted off the couch and ran to the center of the living room just as Julia dragged Jerry into the room. He stood there dressed in a dark olive green costume with matching tights on his legs and olive green felt slippers over his shoes. On his head, he wore a frog mask.

Jillian clapped her hands together. "Uncle Jerry, you look just like the frog in my story." She then turned to look at Jax and Brenda. "Mommy and Daddy, look at Uncle Jerry."

Jax choked back his laughter. "Let me hear you croak."

Brenda elbowed Jax who now was doubled over on the couch because of his hysterics. "Jerry, I think you look wonderful."

Tears were flowing from Jax's eyes. "You look absolutely adorable. Those legs are going to be the talk of the party."

Jerry ripped the mask off his head. "That is it. I refuse to be seen in public like this."

Julia sighed. "Jerry, don't listen to Jax. I happen to love those legs of yours."

Jerry shook his head. "Forget it."

Jillian frowned. "Uncle Jerry, you have to be the frog just like in the story."

Jerry took a deep breath. "Roo, you and Daddy can be a prince and a princess."

Jillian shook her head. "No, we have to be the frog, prince and princess."

Jerry rubbed his temples. "Roo, I can't be the frog. But I will buy you another fish for the aquarium."

Jillian frowned again. "I want you to be the frog."

"I can't, sweetie."

Jillian walked over to Jerry and tugged on his costume. She looked up at him with puppy dog eyes. "Please Uncle Jerry. Please."

Jax suppressed his grin as he saw Jillian successfully working over Jerry like a pro. She was definitely her mother's daughter with those doe eyes.

Jerry groaned. Those damn Barrett eyes had done it to him again. Julia and Brenda used them to their full advantage and they had taught Jillian well. "I give up. Roo, you owe me big."

Brenda smiled as Jillian hugged Jerry. "We are going to have so much fun, Uncle Jerry."

Jerry groaned and rolled his eyes. "I can't wait. Wake me when this is over."

Julia kissed Jerry. "You are all going to look great."

A flash went off in his face and Jerry blinked. He opened his eyes to see Jax grinning with the camera in his hand. "That will be a great one to send to Mum and Dad."

Jerry glared at Jax. "You are asking for it, little brother."

Jax smirked at him. "Listen, Mr. Frog, I am the prince so it should be Your Highness."

Jerry shook his fist at Jax. "I will show you what it should be, Jasper."

Jillian giggled. "Jasper?"

Jerry smiled as he saw Jax grimace. "Yes, Jillian, that is your Daddy's real name. It is so funny, isn't it?"

Jillian covered her mouth and laughed again. "Jasper."

Jerry nodded his head and laughed. "Yes. Do you know what we used to call him?"

Jax glared at Jerry. "We don't need to renew that, Jerry."

Jerry flashed Jax a smug smile and then looked at Jillian. "We called him Sasparilla Jasperilla."

Brenda turned her head to hide her laughter. Jillian started giggling louder. "That is so funny."

Jax shook his head and groaned. Then he gave Jillian a lopsided grin. "Yes, Jillian, it is funny but do you what is funnier?"

Jillian shook her head. "What Daddy?"

Jax looked smugly at Jerry. "What we used to call Uncle Jeremiah."

"Uncle Jeremiah?" Jillian started giggling again as Jerry rubbed his temples.

"We used to call him -- Jeremiah Aunt Jemima."

Jillian started giggling so much that she began to hiccup. Julia choked and had to bury her head into the back of the chair to stop from laughing.

Jerry rolled his eyes at her and seethed at Jax. "That is it, Jasper. You are in for it now."

Jerry lunged at Jax and Brenda barely had time to jump from the couch before Jax and Jerry landed there. They began wrestling as Julia and Brenda shook their heads at them.

Julia sighed. "Jerry, you are going to rip those tights."

Jerry and Jax continued wrestling as Jillian shrieked and then ran over to the couch and grabbed onto Jerry's leg. "No. Don't hurt Daddy."

Julia and Brenda laughed as Jerry tried to get up from the couch with Jillian attached to his leg like a human suction cup. "I seem to have a munchkin affixed to me."

Jax laughed as Jillian remained attached like an octopus clutched onto Jerry's leg. "I see, but I am amazed. I figured with the tights on those legs of yours, she would slide right off. They are silk aren't they?"

Jerry lunged at Jax again. Jillian grabbed Jerry's leg tighter so that he lost his balance and fell onto the couch again. "Don't hurt my Daddy."

Jax could barely speak through his hysterics. "Jer, I told you that those legs would get you in trouble. Those tights just make them irresistible."

Jerry shook his head as Jax unlocked Jillian's arms from Jerry's leg and lifted her into his arms. Jax kissed both of her cheeks. "My little princess comes to the rescue again. Bad Uncle Jeremiah."

Jillian giggled. "Uncle Jeremiah Aunt Jemima."

Jerry grabbed Jillian from Jax and lifted her over his head. She squealed as he dangled her in the air. "Roo, you will never say that again."

Jillian giggled. "It is a funny name."

Jerry lifted her higher into the air. "Promise me you will not say that again. I am dressing up as a frog for you. You owe me, kid."

Jillian giddily laughed. "I promise. Can Roo-Roo say it?"

Brenda laughed at Jillian's request and Jerry shook his head again. "No, Roo-Roo can't say it either. There will be no eucalyptus leaves for him if he does."

Jillian sighed. "Okay. We promise."

Jerry lowered Jillian down and she wrapped her arms around his neck. She kissed his cheek. "I won't say it but you can't try to hurt my Daddy anymore."

Jerry nodded. "I promise unless he really deserves it."

Jerry passed Jillian to Jax. "I think it is time for me to get out of this get-up."

Jax grinned. "Please do. That green is killing me. You look like a cross between the jolly green giant and Peter Pan with those tights."

Jerry glared at Jax as he walked toward the door. "Ha, ha."

Jillian hugged Jax as Brenda sat down next to them on the couch. Julia whistled as Jerry walked out and he waved his hand in disgust at all of them. It was going to be a very long two days and somehow he knew that they would never allow him to forget it.

Tuesday, October 31, 2000
The Jacks Residence -- 6:15am

Jillian tiptoed down the hall with Roo-Roo in her arms. Halloween had finally arrived. She had to make sure that everyone knew. Tonight was the party and the candy and she was going to be the beautiful princess. Jillian walked over to the chair and table in the corner of the upstairs foyer. She placed Roo-Roo on the chair and picked up the receiver.

Jillian counted out loud and pointed to the buttons on the top of the phone. "One, two, three, four." She then pushed the fourth button.

On the third ring, a groggy voice answered. "Hello."

Jillian smiled and began speaking quickly. "It's Halloween. Are you all ready, Uncle Jerry? Do you have your costume on? Do you have your pumpkin basket to get your candy in?"

Jerry opened one eye and looked at the clock and groaned. "What?"

Jillian sighed. "Uncle Jerry, today is Halloween. Are you all ready?"

Jerry buried his head into the pillow. "Jillian, do you know what time it is?"

Jillian nodded into the phone and then spoke. "Halloween is now. Yeah!"

Jerry groaned again as Julia covered her head with the blanket. "Jillian, where are your mother and father?"

"Sleeping in their bed."

Jerry covered his face with his hand. "That is where you should be."

Jillian began her rapid, excited dialogue again. "No, I have to get ready for Halloween. You have to get into your costume too. Mommy is going to take pictures and we are going to get candy. Did you know that Grandma Lila is giving us caramel apples? It is going to be so much fun."

Jerry sighed. "Jillian, you go get ready and I will see you later. In fact, go jump on your parents' bed and tell them it is Halloween."

Jillian shook her head. "Mommy says I am not allowed to jump on the bed."

Jerry closed his eyes and sunk deeper into the pillow. "You have to jump on the bed on Halloween. It is a rule."

Jillian nodded. "Okay. Bye-Bye Uncle Jerry."

Jerry heard the click and then a dial tone in his ear. He groaned and hung up the phone as Julia stirred and opened her eyes. "Who was that on the phone?"

Jerry rolled over. "A munchkin who is going to get even shorter the next time I see her."

Meanwhile, Jillian and Roo-Roo skipped down the hall to Jax and Brenda's bedroom. Jillian knocked on the partially opened door. "Mommy and Daddy. It's Halloween."

Brenda lifted her head from the pillow. "Jillian."

Jillian ran into the room with Roo-Roo. "Mommy, it is Halloween. I have to get ready."

Brenda yawned. "Jillian, it is not even 6:30 in the morning yet. We still have quite a few hours til the party tonight. It is much too early to get into your costume."

Jax turned over to face Jillian. "Princess, you and Roo-Roo are up early."

Jillian pulled out the stool from underneath the foot of the bed and climbed up. "It is Halloween, Daddy."

Jax smiled. "Yes, it certainly is. But we have to wait until it gets dark to get ready for the party."

Jillian giggled. "Yeah! We are going to the party." Jillian held Roo-Roo in her arms and then began jumping on the end of the bed.

Brenda sat up. "Jillian Veronica Jacks, you stop jumping on this bed this minute."

Jillian frowned and collapsed onto the bed. "But it is Halloween."

Brenda shook her head. "Come here." Jillian crawled between Brenda and Jax. "Jillian, why are you jumping on this bed when Mommy and Daddy have told you that it is not allowed?"

Jillian was wide eyed. "But Mommy, it is Halloween and Uncle Jerry said it was a rule."

Jax rolled his eyes. "What rule, Jillian?"

"The rule that you have to jump on the bed on Halloween. Uncle Jerry just told me on the phone."

Brenda rubbed her eyes. "When did you talk to Uncle Jerry?"

Jillian patted Brenda on the hand. "When Roo-Roo and I woke up."

Jax gave Jillian a confused look. "Did you call Uncle Jerry?"

Jillian nodded. "Yes, Daddy."

Jax ran his hand through her curls. "Jillian, how did you call Uncle Jerry?"

Jillian looked up at Jax. "Mommy taught me about the buttons." Jillian then began to count on her fingers. "One is for Daddy at work, two is for Mommy at work, three is for Grandmom and Grandpa, four is for Aunt Julia and Uncle Jerry, and five is for Aunt Lois and Uncle Ned."

Brenda shook her head and turned to Jax. "The wonders of speed dial."

Jillian then stroked Jax's hand. "Oh, I forgot the important one. The button next to the red cross sticker is for emer.." Jillian hesitated.

Brenda helped her. "Emergencies."

Jillian smiled. "Emergencies. If there is no sticker, then I push 9-1-1, right Mommy?"

Brenda nodded. "Yes Jillian. 9-1-1."

Jillian looked up at Jax and held up four fingers. "Daddy, Aunt Julia and Uncle Jerry's number is four."

Jax took a deep breath. "What did you talk to Uncle Jerry about?"

Jillian clapped her hands together. "Halloween. I called to tell him to get ready and to get his pumpkin bucket for the candy."

Jax turned his head to hide his mirth. "What did Uncle Jerry say to you?"

"Uncle Jerry told me to come jump on the bed and tell you and Mommy that it was Halloween. It is a rule."

Brenda sighed. "Jillian, Uncle Jerry was teasing you. It is not a rule. Jumping on the bed is never allowed. You could hurt yourself and Mommy and Daddy do not want that to happen. Do you understand what Mommy is telling you?"

Jillian nodded. "Yes. No jumping." Jillian then looked down at Roo-Roo who was sitting in her arms. "Roo-Roo, no jumping is allowed."

Jax smiled and caressed Jillian's cheek. "That is right, princess. Daddy will talk to Uncle Jerry about this tonight."

Jillian folded her arms in front of her. "Uncle Jerry teased me."

Brenda rubbed Jillian's back. "Uncle Jerry teased you because you woke him up. That was not a good thing to do. Jillian, Mommy showed you the numbers on the phone but we had a rule about that. Do you remember?"

Jillian nodded. "Yes, but I had to tell Uncle Jerry it was Halloween."

Brenda lifted Jillian's chin so that Jillian was looking up at her. "Jillian, unless there is an emergency, you are not to call anyone unless you get permission from Mommy or Daddy or Maggie. It was not right for you to call Uncle Jerry."

Jax spoke to Jillian. "That is the rule Jillian and that means no calls unless you ask Mommy, Daddy or Maggie first. None. Even if it is Halloween or any other special day. That is not an emergency. Is that clear?"

Jillian nodded. "Yes, Daddy."

"Good."

Jillian lowered her chin and looked down at the bed. "Can I still be the princess for Halloween?"

Brenda lifted Jillian's chin again. "Yes, you can still be the princess for Halloween."

Jillian's eyes were as big saucers. "And can Roo-Roo and I still go to the party?"

Jax pulled Jillian into his arms. "Yes. We are all going to go to the party. You just remember to follow the rules or next time, you will be punished."

Jillian smiled brightly. "I promise and so does Roo-Roo."

Brenda moved closer to Jax and Jillian. "Then Mommy and Daddy will be very happy."

Jillian kissed both Jax and Brenda on the cheek and Jax put his arm around Brenda as Jillian pulled the covers up over all of them. The prince and his princesses were together where they belonged.

The Quartermaine Estate -- 7:00pm

The party was in full swing when Jax, Brenda and Jillian arrived. The event was actually a fundraising effort for the AIDS research project being undertaken by General Hospital and the PCU Medical School. The press was in attendance as well as all the members of the hospital board and the leaders of Port Charles business and society.

Lila greeted the Jacks family as it arrived. "Don't you all look wonderful."

Jillian beamed. "I am a princess, Grandma Lila."

Lila smiled. "You certainly are, Jillian."

Jax kissed Lila's hand. "Lila, you look as beautiful as ever this evening."

"Thank you Jax. I think I have the easiest costume of all being the grandmother to Brooke's Little Red Riding Hood."

Brenda kissed Lila on the cheek. "You do look lovely."

Lila took Brenda's hand. "Brenda, red is definitely your color. You look exactly like a 1920's flapper. I said the same thing to Lois when she arrived a few minutes ago. Something tells me that your husbands are going to have to keep close tabs on the two of you this evening."

Jax nodded. "I agree completely, Lila."

Ned walked into the main foyer. "As do I, Grandmother. But this is Lois and Brenda we are talking about, so what else is new?"

Brenda twirled her long strands of beads and hit Ned on the arm with them. "You would not have it any other way, so stop complaining."

Jax laughed and Ned spoke to him. "I see how far from reality you ventured with that costume. You, a prince? I guess that is what this holiday is for. We can all live our fantasies."

Jax smugly smiled. "I guess you could have a point, Ned. Or should I call you Elvis this evening? I guess we are all living in a fantasy world tonight."

Brenda shook her head. "Okay, that is enough for this evening. The contest can resume tomorrow."

Jillian spoke up. "I want to see the party and go find Brooke."

Brenda took Jillian's hand. "We are all going to do that now."

Jax smiled. "Yes, since your mother has taken all the enjoyment out of the evening for Uncle Ned and I, we will all go inside now."

Brenda brushed her lips against Jax's cheek and whispered to him. "I don't know about Ned's enjoyment later this evening but if you play your cards right, I will see to it that you most certainly enjoy yours, my sweet prince."

Jax grinned as Brenda nonchalantly walked into the ballroom with Jillian. Jillian saw Brooke in her Little Red Riding Hood cape standing with Lois, Justus and Edward. Lois waved and Brenda, Jillian, Jax and Ned walked over to her.

Lois was dressed in a bright blue 1920's style flapper dress. The dress had long sparkling fringe and was similar to the red dress that Brenda wore. Like Brenda, Lois also had on a sequined hat to match the dress and multiple strands of beads hung from her neck. Lois held Anthony in her arms and the baby was dressed in a Tigger outfit. Lois was in an intense discussion with Edward as Ned and the Jacks family approached.

Lois rolled her eyes. "Edward, it will not kill you."

Edward shook his head. "Easy for you to say."

Brooke sighed. "You promised, Grandfather. You have to be the Big Bad Wolf."

Edward frowned. "You never said I had to wear a wolf head."

Jax laughed as he saw the wolf head that Justus was holding in his arms behind Edward. As soon as Jax starting laughing, Justus and Ned joined in on the hysterics.

Brooke shook her head in confusion. "But you have to wear the wolf mask so that you look like a wolf."

Edward waved his hands in frustration. "I am not putting that thing on and that is final. I am not going to be the laughing stock of this party."

As he took Anthony from Lois, Ned looked up at the entrance to the ballroom and saw Julia dragging a reluctant frog into the room. "I think there will be a contest to decide who is the bigger laughing stock of this party."

Ned started laughing again and then everyone turned to the doorway and saw Julia and her frog. Jillian squealed. "Uncle Jerry is here. Now we have the prince and the frog and I am the princess."

Edward was incredulous. "Good Lord. Is he wearing pantyhose?"

Justus choked on his laughter. "Look at those legs. Yahoo!"

With Justus' comment, Jax and Edward started laughing as did Kevin, Lucy and Robin who had just entered the ballroom as well. Julia, dressed as Marilyn Monroe, pulled Jerry toward the group.

Lois then took the wolf's head from Justus' arms and looked at Edward. "I think we have a genuine contest for the laughing stock award and I know how much you like a challenge, Edward."

Before Edward could utter a sound, Lois placed the wolf head on top of his head. Lois clapped her hands together. "May the best man win."

Jax was in hysterics. "Lois, I think you mean may the best beast win."

Everyone laughed again as Julia and Jerry reached the group. Lila followed behind them. "Edward, you look wonderful."

Brooke nodded. "Grandfather, you look just like the Big Bad Wolf."

AJ walked up to them. "Brooke, he is the Big Bad Wolf. He just has been pretending to be Grandfather all these years."

Edward tried to pull the wolf head off but it seemed to be stuck. "I can't even breath in here. Get this atrocity off my head at once."

Ned rolled his eyes. "You are obviously still breathing if you can talk. You promised Brooke, so wear it."

Edward tried again in vain to get the head off. "I am telling you right now, get this thing off of me at once."

Lila shook her head. "Edward, stop being a crotchety old coot. You promised Brooke so you will wear it, and I mean all evening."

Edward groaned. "Lila, you ..."

Lila had reached her limit with Edward's shenanigans. "That is enough. You are wearing it. Now, live with it. You see Jerry here. He is secure enough to be seen dressed as a frog so you can be seen dressed as a wolf."

Ned chuckled. "And you are not even wearing pantyhose, Grandfather."

Jerry glared at Ned through his frog mask. "They are not pantyhose."

Ned feigned regret. "Forgive me, I am so sorry. I guess they are tights."

At that moment, two photographers came over and snapped numerous photos. Jax then spoke to the photographers. "The frog is Jerry Jacks and the wolf is Edward Quartermaine. I can give you the correct spelling if you need it."

As soon as the photographers moved to the other side of the room, Jerry hit Jax upside the head. "Thank you so much, brother."

Jax grinned. "I was just looking out for you. I knew that you would not want to be mis-identified in the morning paper."

Jerry shook his head. "And to think I paid $500 a plate to be publicly humiliated at this affair."

Edward nodded. "And to think it has happened to me in my own home."

Ned shrugged. "Grandfather, it is not as if it is the first time."

AJ piped in. "Nor will it be the last. We have so much more enjoyment to look forward to."

Edward threw out his hands and stomped off toward the bar.

Justus laughed and called after him. "Edward, be sure to get a straw so you can drink the scotch through the mouth of the wolf's head."

AJ patted Justus on the back. "I knew this would be an entertaining evening."

Justus then turned to Jerry. "Can I get you a straw as well? One croak for yes and two for no."

Jax started to laugh again and Jerry waved his arm in disgust and walked over to the bar. The rest of the men in the group followed him to the bar.

Lila moved her wheelchair over to Brooke and Jillian. "Ladies, remember I have something special for you take home."

Brooke smiled. "Caramel apples."

Lila nodded. "Yes, and the apples are from the trees in the orchard."

Jillian rubbed her tummy. "Yummy. Caramel."

Brenda put her hands on Jillian's shoulders. "We have to eat dinner first so let's go get some food for you and Brooke."

Jillian bobbed her head up and down. "Okay, Mommy."

Robin walked up to them. "Jillian and Brooke, you both look so beautiful."

Jillian smiled brightly. "Thank you. You are a pretty witch."

"Thank you. Can I come with you and Mommy and Brooke to get some food?"

Jillian nodded. "Yes. We are going to eat caramel apples after dinner."

Robin grinned. "You are so lucky." Robin then looked across the room and saw Alan speaking to a group of people at the entrance into the ballroom.

Brenda saw Robin smile and looked over in the direction of the doorway. She saw Alan speaking to a few board members and she watched as he seemed to be introducing them to a very handsome man standing next to him. The man then looked over in their direction and smiled.

Brenda looked at Robin who returned the smile. Brenda cleared her throat. "Who is that?"

Robin looked at Brenda. "That is Matthew Perry. He is the new doctor that Alan hired for the research program."

Lois walked over to them as Brenda looked over at Matthew again and watched as he periodically glanced over in their direction. Lois noticed him immediately. "Who is that gorgeous man over there talking to Alan?"

Brenda smiled. "Dr. Matthew Perry. Robin tells me that he is working on the AIDS research program."

Lois raised her eyebrow and laughed. "Robin, it must be terrible to have to work with someone that looks like that."

Robin shrugged. "He is very nice."

Brenda rolled her eyes. "Very nice? That is all that you can say?"

Robin shrugged again. "I think we should get some food now."

Brenda laughed. "I knew it. What aren't you telling me?"

Robin shook her head. "Stop. There is nothing to tell. Like I said, he is very nice."

Lois folded her arms in front of her. "Why don't I believe you?"

Brenda nodded. "Because she is holding out on us. Spill it, Robin."

Robin rubbed her temple. "You two are like dogs with a bone. Fine, he asked me out to dinner. Are you satisfied?"

Brenda shook her head. "No. When? Where? You said yes, didn't you?"

Robin sighed in defeat. "Saturday, at the new Italian restaurant by the marina and I said yes."

Brenda hugged her. "Good for you. Now, I want you to introduce us to him."

Lois nodded in agreement. "Yes, I want to see that face up close and personal."

Robin took a deep breath. "You two are both crazy."

Brenda shrugged. "We know that. Now let's go meet him and see if he wants to join us at a table for dinner."

Robin laughed as Brenda and Lois motioned to Jax and Ned that they were taking the girls to get some food. Brenda then grabbed Jillian's hand and then Robin's and walked toward the door.

Robin and Matt exchanged smiles as she approached him. "Matt, I want you to meet my best friends and their daughters. This is Brenda and Jillian Jacks and Lois and Brooke Ashton."

Matt extended his hand to each of them. "It is a pleasure. Robin has spoken about all of you." Matt then looked down at Jillian. "Robin told me about her trip to see the horses with you last weekend."

Jillian nodded. "We saw Dream and Cyclone and all the other horses. Aunt Robin went for a ride but I am too little unless Daddy holds me."

Matt smiled. "You will get bigger soon and then you can ride."

Jillian shook her head and held up three fingers. "I am three."

Matt then looked at Brooke. "And you just had a birthday last week, didn't you?"

Brooke grinned. "Yes, I am four now."

Lois and Brenda exchanged glances and Robin shook her head at the two of them. Brenda spoke up. "Well, we have to get these lovely ladies some food. Would you care to join us?"

Matt nodded. "Thank you. I would love to join all of you."

Brenda smiled and ignored Robin's stare. Brenda and Lois turned back and smiled at Jax and Ned as they walked to the other ballroom to get some food.

Jax shook his head and Ned looked over at him. "What was that look our wives just gave us. And why were they just walking out with Matthew Perry, the new doctor at General Hospital."

Jax chuckled. "I will lay odds that my wife is matchmaking again and I am sure Lois is joining in as well."

Ned rolled his eyes. "Here we go again. What is it with women and matchmaking?"

"Ned, I have no idea but I suggest you give up and accept it. I learned a long time ago that it is a winless battle so there is no reason to fight it."

Ned raised his glass. "You are right. Score another one for the women in this world."

Jax clicked Ned's glass with his. "And God help Matthew Perry. He is not even going to know what hit him."

Saturday, November 11, 2000
The Jacks Residence -- 12:30pm

Jillian and Brooke were sitting at the kitchen table while Brenda was putting the grilled cheese sandwiches on plates.

Brenda walked over to the table. "Brooke, here is yours with the crusts cut off and Jillian here is yours with the crusts left on."

Jillian took a sip of her milk. "When is Daddy coming back?"

"Shortly. You will see him before you take your nap."

Brooke took a bite out of her sandwich. "Then after our naps, you are spending the night at my house."

Jillian nodded. "Yes. Mommy and Daddy are going to a party for the horses."

Brenda sat down at the table with the girls. "Not exactly. Mommy and Daddy are going to a party with all the people who have horses that compete in the shows."

Jillian took a bite of her carrot sticks. "Okay. Aunt Lois says we can watch Cinderella."

Brenda smiled. "That will be very nice." Brenda then looked at Brooke. "I put your story books in your bag so that you would not forget them."

Jillian heard the front door open. "Daddy's home."

Jax walked into the kitchen. "Yes, I am."

Jillian held up a quarter of her sandwich. "We are eating lunch."

Jax walked over to Jillian and rubbed her back. "I see. Is it good?"

Both Jillian and Brooke nodded and Jax took off his jacket and hung it on the back of the chair next to Brenda. He kissed Brenda softly on the mouth and then sat down next to her at the table.

Brenda smiled. "How was the racquetball game?"

Jax gave her a thumbs up sign. "Still champion."

Brenda leaned over and kissed him. "My hero."

Jax looked over at Jillian and Brooke. "How were the two little princesses?"

Brenda smiled at the girls. "They were both on their best behavior just like they promised last night when we let them stay up to finish watching Beauty and the Beast."

Jax grinned at Jillian and Brooke. "I am very proud of both of you. I expect to hear the same thing tomorrow morning when we come to pick up Jillian."

Brooke finished her sandwich. "We made birthday cards for Grandmother. I colored mine with a magic marker. I even wrote my name."

Jillian pointed at herself. "Me too but Mommy had to write my name. But I wrote the "X" and "O" for hugs and kisses."

Jax chuckled. "I am sure Grandma Lila will love both of them."

Jillian looked up at Jax. "Are you and Mommy coming home after the party?"

Jax nodded. "Yes, but it will be very late. Virgil is going to drive us home because we have Grandma Lila's birthday brunch tomorrow morning."

Brenda looked up at Jax. "I spoke to Abby and Steve and told them that we would pick them up at 7:00."

"Perfect. I told Virgil we would be ready at 5:00."

Brenda started clearing the table. "Okay, girls, since you are both finished, it is time to go upstairs for your naps."

Jillian wiped her mouth with the napkin Jax handed her. "Can we have a popsicle when we get up?"

Brenda nodded. "Yes, and then Daddy is going to take you to Aunt Lois' for the night so Mommy can get ready for the party."

Jax stood up from the table. "I will take the girls upstairs."

Brenda smiled. "Thank you honey."

Jillian and Brooke each hugged Brenda and then Jax took the girls up to Jillian's room. Brenda finished clearing the table and then took Jax's leather jacket from the back of the chair. As she lifted the jacket, a gift wrapped box fell from the inside breast pocket and hit the floor. Brenda hung the jacket over the back of the chair and bent down to pick up the box. As she looked at the box and smiled, Jax walked back into the kitchen.

Jax shook his head as he stood in the doorway. "Brenda Barrett Jacks, you are the biggest snoop that ever lived."

Brenda's mouth opened widely. "I was not snooping. It fell out of your jacket pocket."

"Why did you pick up the jacket in the first place?"

Brenda sighed. "To put it away where it belongs. How would I have known there was a gift for me inside of the pocket?"

Jax walked over to her. "How do you even know it is for you? Maybe I bought it in case I meet some special lady at the gala? Kindly give it back to me."

Jax tried to take the box from her hand but Brenda held onto it. "If it is not for me, then you will be losing more than this box."

He laughed out loud. "First you are a snoop and now you are threatening me?"

Brenda folded her arms in front of her chest as she held onto the box. "Believe me, it is promise, not a threat."

Jax laughed harder and Brenda swatted him on the arm. "Jax, that is enough from you."

Jax shook his head in confusion. "From me? You are the one that ruined my surprise."

Brenda's eyes widened in amazement. "This is not my fault. If you had put your own jacket away, this would have never happened."

Jax nodded. "You are right. So give me back the box and I will keep it until later this afternoon when I planned to give it to you. You can just forget that you ever saw it."

Brenda looked at him as if he were crazy. "I am not going to forget that I ever saw it. Jax, this is me we are talking about. You remember -- the woman you married, the woman who has no patience or self control."

Jax could not keep from grinning at her. He walked over and kissed her. "Yes, I remember you and you are impossible. Go ahead and open it."

Brenda smiled brightly and sat down at the table. She tore off the white ribbon and gold gift wrap and opened up the velvet covered box. She gasped softly as she saw its contents. Brenda's eyes shined brightly as looked up at him. "Jax, they are so beautiful."

He smiled. "So are you."

Brenda took his hand. "Thank you. What is the occasion?"

Jax gazed at her. "I love you and it has been some time since I have given you a gift from my heart. We have not exactly celebrated anything over the past eleven months and I thought today would be a good day to start."

Brenda took a deep breath. "I love you."

Jax lifted the two diamond hair combs from the box. "I thought they would look beautiful with your dress for this evening."

Brenda reverently fingered the combs and rose from her seat. "They will be perfect." She put her arms around him and brushed her lips against his. "I love you so much. Please don't ever forget that for one second."

Jax put the combs back in the box and took her face in his hands. He dropped feather kisses on her forehead, eyelids and nose before his lips covered hers. "I know how much you love me and I know how much I love you. Neither of us are ever going to forget that."

Brenda smiled radiantly and she looked deeply into his beautiful blue eyes. "Diamonds are forever. I am going to hold you to that."

Jax grinned. "I am counting on that."

Brenda rested her head against his chest and wrapped her arms tightly around him. She closed her eyes as she felt his heart beating steadily in his chest. Jax kissed the top of her head and sighed. They were actually living again.

The Jacks Limo -- 11:45pm

Brenda leaned her head against Jax's shoulder as the limousine made its way back to the main thoroughfare. Steve and Abigail had been dropped off ten minutes before and Jax and Brenda were beginning their two hour trip back to Port Charles. They had all had a wonderful evening and the gala had been a tremendous success for the breeder's association. Virgil was driving Jax and Brenda home and they had turned on the overhead lights so that they could see each other.

Jax pushed the loose strand of hair from Brenda's face. Her hair was swept into a french twist and secured by the two diamond hair combs he had given her this afternoon. He did not remember when she had ever looked so beautiful. She had worn her new black evening gown which featured a diagonal black satin panel which wrapped around the dress. The dress had a plunging neckline and criss-cross straps in the back. It also had a slit up the side which allowed a full view of her leg. She wore diamond earrings and a diamond pendant which fully complemented the diamond hair combs. The outfit was completed with the long black satin cape she wore as her coat.

Brenda looked up at Jax and smiled. "Why are you staring at me?"

Jax chuckled. "Don't try that naive, innocent act. You know very well why I am staring at you. It is the same reason that every man in that ballroom was staring at you this evening."

Brenda rolled her eyes. "I am not the one that had the loyal following of Ashley Madison and Courtney Rogers. I thought I was going to have to get Virgil to bring me a crowbar to pry them away from you."

Jax gave her a lopsided grin. "They are from Atlanta and that was just their Southern hospitality and charm."

Brenda laughed. "Hospitality and charm, my foot. They were practically drooling all over you. They spent half the evening trying to figure out how to convince you to allow them to give you a full body massage."

Jax shook his head in a amazement. "As opposed to Pierce Brockington and Lawrence English whose tongues were hanging out every time you walked by them."

Brenda sat up. "You are exaggerating."

Jax sighed. "No, I am not. They would each have given their right arms to see you out of that dress."

Brenda's eyes widened. "Do you really think so? Oh, I need the phone so I can have Virgil turn the car around."

Jax grabbed Brenda's hands. "I don't think so."

Brenda gave him a mock pout. "Why not?"

Jax sighed. "Because I am the only one who has been provided that punishment...I mean privilege."

Brenda grabbed the lapels of Jax's tuxedo jacket. "Excuse me. What did you just say, Mr. Jacks?"

Jax smiled as he cradled the back of her head with his hands. "Seeing you out of that dress is my absolute pleasure and I fully intend to keep a complete monopoly on that honor."

Brenda slowly exhaled. "You do?"

Jax stroked the back of her neck with his thumbs. "Yes. I am very fond of quite a few parts of that beautiful body of yours and I am terrible at sharing."

Brenda moaned. "What parts?"

Jax left a trail of baby kisses along her jawline. "Here." Next, he kissed the outside of her right ear before gently sucking on her earlobe. "And here." Then his right hand moved slowly and sensually down the middle of her neck to her chest where it rested in the valley between her breasts before gently squeezing her left breast. "And definitely here."

Brenda trembled at the feel of his touch and her nipple immediately hardened. "I see."

Jax smugly smiled at the effect he was having on her. "But my favorite is right here." His finger gingerly traced the outline of her lips. "So full and so supple. So soft and so sweet. So warm and so intoxicating." He overtook her lips with his own and kissed her hungrily. He drank in her sweetness as his lips showered hers with scintillating kisses.

Brenda managed to somehow regain her wits as Jax released her lips. Jax then threaded his fingers through her thick hair, pulling it loose from the combs. "I love the way your hair feels when I run my fingers through it."

Brenda pulled the combs from her hair and then gave him a look of mock disgust. "All that time to put it up and now look what you have done."

Jax grinned as he ran both of his hands through her curls. He fanned her hair so that it spilled down her shoulders. "You look so damn sexy."

Brenda decided that Jax was not the only one that was going to play this game. She moved over into his lap. She then began kissing him behind his left ear. She murmured to him between kisses. "One of my favorite spots."

Jax cleared his throat and swallowed hard. "Where else?"

Brenda lifted her head from his neck and smiled. "You know. I told you shortly after I first met you that I loved strong hands." She then pushed the tuxedo jacket off of his shoulders and removed the diamond studded cufflinks from the cuffs of his shirt. Brenda pushed up the right sleeve of the shirt and took his right hand in hers.

Brenda tenderly stroked the outside of his right hand with her fingers. "So powerful, yet so gentle. So strong, yet so loving."

Brenda smiled to herself as Jax closed his eyes and gasped. She then took her thumb and slowly traced small circles in the center of his palm. He groaned from the pleasure it was giving him. Brenda coyly smiled as she watched him struggle to keep his wits about him.

Brenda then took his hand and brought it to her cheek. "And these fingers." She then began gently sucking on each, one at a time. Brenda moaned and Jax realized that his breath was becoming labored.

Brenda took both of his hands and kissed each finger and then each knuckle. "But do you know what I love most of all about these hands?"

Jax's voice was a hoarse whisper which could not hide the desire he felt for her. "No. What?"

Brenda smiled. "How they make me feel when they touch me?"

Brenda watched him as he leaned further back against the plush seat of the limo. She smiled as he closed his eyes and moaned as she began nibbling at his neck. She kissed the base of his throat and her tongue tickled his skin.

Jax gasped again. "Brenda." His hands moved to her face and he lifted her head and captured her lips. His tongue begged to gain entrance and she quickly complied. He tasted her fully as she moaned into his mouth. His right hand moved from her face to her leg. His fingers moved inside the side slit of the dress and caressed the soft skin beneath the silk stockings covering her thigh. His hand moved up her leg and finally reached her warm skin at the top of her thigh where her thigh-high silk stockings ended.

Jax groaned and released her lips. "You have on my favorite stockings."

Brenda ran her hand through the back of his wavy hair. "Yes, and I always need so much help taking them off. We have such a long ride home and I would do almost anything to be out of them."

Jax's eyes were filled with desire. He wrapped his arms around Brenda and kissed her again. It was a long, intense drugging kiss. He then lifted her off his lap and sat her down beside him so that her legs rested on his lap. Jax removed the black satin pump from her right foot and massaged the ball of her foot. He then sensually ran his hand up and down the stockings covering her right leg. Jax lifted her leg and kissed her calf before his fingers moved to the elastic band of the stockings. As he slowly pushed the stocking down her leg, his lips followed the path of his fingers. He repeated the same sweet torment with her left leg.

Brenda heard herself panting. She sat up and scooted back onto his lap. She kissed him and then unfastened his bow tie. Brenda slowly unbuttoned each button of his dress shirt. Her lips followed the path of her fingers as she dropped baby kisses on his chest. She pushed the shirt off his shoulders as her mouth engaged in a full fledged assault on his muscular chest.

Brenda whispered as she gently sucked on his right nipple. "I want to make love to every inch of you."

Jax wrapped his arms around her. "Perfect because that is all I want to do to you. I am going to show you just how much I love you."

Jax nibbled at her ear and caressed her back as his fingers eased down the zipper in the back of her dress. He unhooked the clasp at her neck which secured the straps and the dress fell from her shoulders. She kissed him hungrily and Jax lifted her up so that she could pull the dress down her legs. Jax then laid her down on the seat and quickly unfastened his trousers and slid them from his legs. His boxers quickly joined his pants on the floor.

Brenda held her arms out to him. "Jax, I love you."

Jax moved over her. Brenda trembled and moaned as the passion within her was in overdrive. She pulled Jax's face down to hers and kissed him with deliberate fervor. Her tongue initiated a duel of passion with his as her hands trailed down his back and then cupped his buttocks.

Jax groaned and he lowered himself on top of her. He gazed into her eyes and whispered his love for her. It felt as if he were touching her soul as they moved in perfect rhythm together. No man had ever made her feel like he did. She felt his love seeping inside her from the top of her head to the tip of her toes.

Brenda moaned in ecstasy and closed her eyes. She was at the gates of enchantment and she would soon be in heaven. Jax lifted her arms over her head and held them against the side of the seat. She murmured words of love to Jax just as he cried out her name. Brenda whimpered and Jax whispered his love for her.

Jax collapsed into her arms and buried his head into her neck. They were both breathless. A primal moan was emitted from deep within him. No woman had ever responded to him like Brenda. Every caress, stroke, and movement sent shock waves straight to his heart. He had never felt anything as fulfilling and as complete as he did when they made love. It was truly paradise.

Later, as they neared the city limits to Port Charles, Jax zipped her dress back up and Brenda laid back in his arms. He covered her with his tuxedo jacket and then finished buttoning his own shirt. She rested her head against his shoulder and Jax kissed her tenderly on the forehead. Brenda ran her hands through her hair and then picked up the hair combs from her lap.

She watched the diamonds sparkle in the glow from the lights inside the limo. "These are so beautiful."

Jax stroked her cheek. "A gift for the love of my life."

Brenda turned her head into his hand and kissed the inside of his palm. "I love you, Jax."

Jax smiled brightly and his eyes glimmered. "And I love you."

Brenda looked down again at the diamond combs in her hand. She then looked at Jax as her eyes glowed with love. "Like I said before, I am holding you to a lifetime commitment. Diamonds are forever."

Jax nodded. "Yes, they are, just like my love for you. Til the end of time and beyond."

Jax felt Brenda tremble and he wrapped his arms more tightly around her. "Sweetie, are you cold?"

Brenda shook her head. "No. I am just hopelessly in love."

Jax smiled. "I know. The feeling seems to be contagious."

Jax leaned his head against hers and sighed contently. Brenda took his hands in hers and his fingers covered hers as she clutched the diamond hair combs. They were joined together in love and that love sparkled just as brilliantly as the diamonds and was just as strong. It would also be forever.

Thursday, November 23, 2000
The Jacks Residence -- 10:30am

Brenda closed her eyes as the warm water pulsated from the shower head. It had started out as her usual hot shower but after forty minutes, the water was now only tepid. In fact, the water was no warmer than the tears that were running down her cheeks. The walls felt as if they were closing in on her again and she hated it.

She was hiding. Yesterday, it had been in bed and today, it was in the shower. John and Jane had arrived in town two days ago for the Thanksgiving holiday. Their presence in the house had made things easier for Jillian yesterday when a migraine headache had forced Brenda to spend most of the day in bed. Jane had taken Jillian out for the afternoon while John spent the afternoon at J & J Jacks. Jillian had collected leaves and Jane had helped her glue them to construction paper to make Jax and Brenda a surprise Thanksgiving card.

Brenda leaned against the green marble tile on the wall and ran her hands through her hair. She was as angry as she was upset. The memories were causing her to be afraid of another holiday. Last Thanksgiving was so clear in her mind. There had been such happy moments on that day. It had been the first major holiday after Jerry and Julia's wedding so it was their first holiday as a family together. They had so much to be thankful for then. They were planning for Jamie's arrival which was less than three months away and getting ready to start the Christmas season. There were no signs then of what was to come a month later.

The trepidation about the holiday had not hit her until the week before. It was not as much about Thanksgiving as it was about the approach of Christmas Eve. Once Thanksgiving passed, the torture of Christmas Eve and its memories would be right there. She wanted time to stop, she wanted the calendar to skip the month of December but that was impossible. It was coming and she could not stop it.

Jillian was already talking about Santa Claus and the stores had begun advertising for the holiday season sales. The signs of the upcoming season were everywhere. Each time Jillian mentioned Christmas and Santa Claus, Brenda felt sick to her stomach. She did not know how she was going to get through it. Brenda realized she was beginning to shut down again and she knew that was no answer. She had talked to Melanie about it last week and again during her joint session with Jax on Tuesday but the sessions had not stopped the memories or the feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Brenda closed her eyes as the images of last Thanksgiving morning flooded her mind. Jillian had awakened early and Jax had brought her into the master suite. Brenda had held Jillian in her arms until Jillian had eventually fallen back to sleep. Jax had silently watched them as Brenda stroked their little angel's brunette locks until Jillian had drifted off to sleep. He had then edged closer to Brenda and pulled her into his arms. Jax's right hand had stroked Brenda's fingers as she caressed Jillian's back. His left hand rested on Brenda's swollen stomach and he gently traced small circles on her stomach as if to rub Jamie's back. Jax had whispered to both Jillian and Jamie that he loved them before kissing Brenda's forehead and whispering words of love to her.

Tears fell from her eyes as she remembered thinking that she had everything anyone could have ever wanted that day. They all had so much to be thankful for. A shiver shot through her as Brenda shook her head to stop the memories. She opened her eyes and looked down at her skin which was beginning to shrivel up like a prune from her prolonged time under the water. Somehow she had forced herself out of bed this morning and joined everyone for breakfast. She had not eaten in two days but she had forced down a piece of toast this morning. Brenda had even managed to plaster the semblance of a smile on her face. She knew it probably did not fool John or Jane. It certainly could not fool Jax who Brenda knew could read her like a book but she knew she had to make the effort. Locking herself up in the bedroom was not the answer. Brenda spoke out loud. "Neither is hiding in the shower."

Brenda wiped the tears from her eyes. She did not know how, but they all had to get through this day and through the next several weeks. She turned off the water and leaned against the wall. She took a deep breath and swallowed to clear the lump in her throat. Brenda opened the shower door and reached for her robe. Instead of finding terrycloth material, her fingers were met by the feel of a familiar touch.

Jax firmly grasped her hand as he led her out of the shower stall. He held out her robe for her and helped Brenda slide it over her arms. Jax took a towel from the rack and began to dry her hair. His hands gently massaged her scalp as the towel absorbed the excess water. Jax saw her trembling and he dropped the towel to the floor. He put his arms around Brenda's waist and pulled her closely to him.

Jax rested his forehead against hers. "I'm right here, Brenda. I love you."

Brenda's hands tightly clutched at Jax's shirt. "Please don't stop. Don't ever stop."

Jax rubbed her back. "Baby, I'm yours, remember? Don't hold it in."

Brenda buried her head into his chest. "I don't know how to do this."

Jax kissed the top of her head. "You are being way too hard on yourself. You are doing this."

Brenda stepped back from his embrace. "I don't think so. I am dreading a holiday because of what follows it. I am not ready for this. Jax, there is still so much I can't face. A month from now, it is going to be a year."

Jax lifted her chin so that she was looking up at him. "You are putting way too much pressure on yourself."

Brenda exhaled slowly. "Jax, I still can't hold Anthony and I can't even open the door to the nursery."

Jax sighed. "Who says that you have any deadlines? There are no timetables here. Melanie has told us that we will face things when we are ready. We are taking this one day at a time. Trust yourself, Brenda."

Brenda rested her head against his chest. "I do understand that somewhere inside me. It's just that it is so hard right now."

Jax rubbed her back again. "I know, sweetie.

Brenda wrapped her arms around Jax's neck. "I need you so much today."

Jax rested his cheek on top of her head. "I need you too, Brenda. We are all going to get through this together. I promise you that."

Brenda tried to swallow to rid the lump that was caught in her throat. "I just wish I knew how."

Brenda held onto him tightly for a few more minutes before finally stepping away from the warmth and security of his embrace. Jax watched her as she quickly blew dry her hair before they left the master bath. They walked into the bedroom area and she changed into a pair of jeans and a cashmere sweater. Brenda then sat down on the bed as Jax brushed her hair. A few moments later, they heard the sound of rapid little footsteps approaching.

"Mommy and Daddy, can I come in?"

Jax smiled. "Princess, come in."

Jillian ran into the room with her hands behind her back. "Hi Mommy and Daddy."

Brenda could not help from smiling at the joyful look on Jillian's face. "Hello angel. Where is Grandmom?"

Jillian excitedly spoke. "She is in her room. Grandmom said I could give you and Daddy your surprise now."

Jax sat down on the bed next to Brenda. "Surprise? What surprise?"

Jillian moved her hands in front of her. "This! It's a card."

Brenda took the card from Jillian's hand. It was made from yellow construction paper. Inside was a drawing of a turkey's head and orange, red and brown leaves had been glued around it to represent its tail feathers. The turkey's head had been colored with red crayon. There were red "X's" and "O's" at the bottom for Jillian's hugs and kisses.

Brenda smiled brightly at Jillian. "Jillian, this is so beautiful. Thank you so much."

Jax took Jillian's hand and lifted her into his lap. "Princess, it is a wonderful surprise. You did such a good job."

Jillian shuddered in excitement. "Grandmom and I found the leaves and she helped me. We hid the card in her suitcase. I colored the head and Grandmom used the glue for the leaves. It is a turkey. Do you see my hugs and kisses? Grandmom did not even have to help me with them. They are from Roo-Roo too but he is sleeping now."

Brenda kissed both of Jillian's cheeks. "We see and they are beautiful."

Jillian sighed contently. "Grandpa says today is a special day and that we are having a big turkey dinner."

Jax nodded. "It is a very special day. Today is Thanksgiving and on this day we thank everyone that helps us and everyone that makes us happy."

Jillian shook her head. "That is what Grandmom said. That is why she helped me make this surprise for you."

Brenda caressed her cheek. "Thank you so much, sweetheart, and we will thank Roo-Roo when he wakes up."

Jillian hugged her. "Thank you Mommy for helping me." Jillian then hugged Jax. "Thank you too, Daddy. Roo-Roo and I are so happy." Jillian's smile lit up the entire room.

As she heard Jillian's words, Brenda trembled slightly and two tears rolled down her cheek. Immediately a portion of the pain in her heart was overtaken with a feeling of immense joy. The words were like a gift. No, she was their gift. Jax put his arm around Brenda. He had been just as moved as Brenda had been at the sound of Jillian's words.

Jillian looked up at Brenda. "Mommy, why are you crying?"

Brenda smiled. "Because you make Daddy and I so happy and you help us so much. Thank you Jillian. Happy Thanksgiving, my angel. We love you very much."

Brenda hugged Jillian and Jax put his arms around both of them. Jax kissed both of their foreheads as Brenda closed her eyes and took a deep breath. They all still had so much to be thankful for and Brenda had her answer about making it through this day. Jillian was going to get all of them through it.

The Jacks Residence -- 6:00pm

John, Jerry and Jax were watching the football game on television in the den as Jillian played on the floor with her Beauty and the Beast doll set. Jane, Julia and Brenda were in the kitchen finalizing dinner. As had been the custom on holidays, Jose had come in early and prepared most of the food and then gone home to join her own family for dinner. Brenda just had to get everything into the oven and then serve it.

Julia walked in from the dining room. "Okay, how are we doing?"

Brenda looked up from the turkey that she had just taken out of the oven fifteen minutes before. "I just put the rolls into the oven and the sweet potato casserole has another five minutes and then I think we will be set."

Jane put the lid on the garlic and butter mashed potatoes she had just finished preparing. "The potatoes are done."

Julia nodded. "They smell wonderful. Jerry would not think it was Thanksgiving if you did not make the potatoes."

Jane rolled her eyes. "Yes, he has made his position clear about that on numerous occasions."

Brenda laughed. "Jax is the same way about oyster stuffing."

Jane shook her head. "For John, it is creamed onions and he is the only one that will even eat them."

Julia poured some of the creamed onions into a serving bowl. "John can have them all."

Jax walked into the kitchen. "Well, ladies, what can I do to help?"

Brenda looked up as she spooned stuffing into a serving dish. "The wine needs to be brought up from the wine cellar."

Jax kissed her on the cheek. "I can handle that." He then grabbed a spoonful of oyster stuffing.

Brenda swatted him with the serving spoon. "Patience. Dinner will be ready in ten minutes."

Jax gave her a puppy dog look. "I just wanted to make sure it was not too hot for Jillian."

Brenda rolled her eyes at him as Jax headed for the door into the wine cellar.

Jane and Julia laughed as they took the mashed potatoes and creamed onions into the dining room. Brenda took the sweet potato casserole out of the oven as Jane and Julia walked back into the kitchen. Jillian the came into the kitchen carrying Roo-Roo.

"Mommy, I am hungry."

Brenda turned around and looked at Jillian. "I know, sweetie. When the bell rings, the rolls will be done. Then we can eat."

Jillian put Roo-Roo on the kitchen table. "I want to help you."

Brenda grabbed the bowl of croutons Jose had seasoned earlier in the day. "Do you want to put the croutons on the salad?"

Jillian smiled. "Yeah!"

Brenda grabbed the salad bowl and put it on the kitchen table. She then lifted Jillian into the chair and handed her the bowl of crouton. "You can pour them all over the salad."

Jillian dumped them into the bowl. "I am done."

Jane walked over to Jillian. "You are a very good helper."

Jax walked up the steps into the kitchen from the wine cellar. Jillian saw him and beamed. "Daddy, I helped with the salad."

Jax flashed her a huge grin. "You are going to be a great cook when you get older."

The sound of glass lids being opened was then heard from the direction of the dining room. Jane muttered under her breath and walked to the doorway. Jane opened the door and John and Jerry were standing by the dining room table. Jerry stood with the lid to the mashed potatoes in his hand and John held the lid to the creamed onions.

Jane folded her arms in front of her. "John and Jeremiah Jacks. You will eat when we all do."

Jax chuckled as he walked to the entrance into the dining room with the two wine bottles. "For shame. Can't either of you be patient?"

Brenda opened her mouth to chastise him when the timer went off for the rolls. She smirked at Jax. "That is what I call being saved by the bell."

Jillian grabbed Roo-Roo. "The bell rang. Dinner!"

Jillian scooted by everyone and skipped into the dining room. Everyone laughed and the rest of the food was brought into the dining room. Jillian sat at the head of the table and Jax and Brenda sat beside her. Jax poured the wine as Brenda filled Jillian's cup with milk. All the food, except for the turkey, was passed around the table. The room then became quiet as John, Jerry and Jax eyed each other.

Jane rubbed her forehead. "I can't believe you have not figured this out already."

Brenda shook her head. "Jillian is starving. Just decide."

Julia nodded. "Yes, we would like to eat before breakfast."

John laughed. "It is the lads' contest. The tax problems with the Compuserve merger killed my chances."

Jerry shrugged. "There is no contest. I am in the top position. Net profits from my deals over the first three quarters surpassed his by two million. Baby brother here just won't admit it."

Jax shook his head. "You wish. I am the winner. Those exchange rates you are using for the profit in the Toshiba deal are inflated."

Jerry rolled his eyes. "They are valid. The deal took six weeks to complete and I can use any rate during that period."

Jax choked on his laughter. "Those were never the rules. You lost, Jerry. Face it."

Brenda got up from the table and went into the kitchen. Julia sighed at the antics and Jane cleared her throat and spoke up. "That is enough. Decide and I mean now."

Jerry looked at Jane. "Mum, this is tradition we are fighting for."

Jax chuckled. "No, it is your bruised ego. You have lost three years running and you are bending the rules so that it is not a fourth."

Brenda walked out of the kitchen. "That is it, gentlemen. You have two minutes or I am taking over and it won't be pretty."

Gasps were heard from Jerry and Jax as Brenda placed the electric carving knife on the table. Jane and John had to fight off their own hysterics at the scene before them.

Jerry's eyes bugged out of his head. "An electric knife? That is sacrilege. You can't carve a turkey with an electric knife."

Brenda raised both of her eyebrows at him. "Just watch me."

Jax shook his head. "You play dirty pool, Brenda Barrett Jacks."

Brenda sat down in her chair. "Mr. Jacks, I play to win."

John, who was sitting next to Brenda, put his arm around her. "My dear, you are a true Jacks. If I did not know better than I would think you were my daughter."

Jerry laughed. "That would certainly add a new twist to Jax and Brenda's relationship. It would be like that soap opera that Francesca and one of the other secretaries used to talk about where a brother and sister became involved. I think it was General Hospital and she referred to the characters as Kat and Bat. Francesca called him Bat because he lived in some gothic haunted house and wore black all the time. He sounds more like a vampire to me but the whole thing seems pretty ludicrous."

Julia rolled her eyes. "Jerry, we are about to eat. Why are you talking about that garbage? Do you want us all to lose our appetites?"

Brenda looked at her watch. "You have thirty seconds or this knife gets plugged in."

Jax stood up and took a quarter from his pocket. "Fine. Because we have a difference of opinion on the interpretation of the rules, I will flip you for it."

Jerry glared at Brenda. "Since we have been left with no choice by a certain someone, I will go along with that. I am calling it."

Jax shook his head. "I came up with the idea so I am calling it."

Brenda took a sip of her water. "You have fifteen seconds."

Jax sighed. "All right. Jerry, you can call it. Since you are approaching senility, you don't have too many years left where you will even be able to hold the knife so I will give you a break."

Jerry stood up. "Ha, ha. Heads."

Jax flipped the coin and smiled as he caught it. He held it up to Jerry. "Tails. You lose. Where is the carving knife?"

Jerry shook his head and handed Jax the carving knife before collapsing into the chair in disgust. Jax then moved the platter holding the turkey from the buffet and put it onto the table in front of him and then smugly smiled at Jerry. Jerry let out an exasperated sigh.

Julia rolled her eyes. "I cannot believe that you went through all of this just to decide who was going to carve the turkey."

Jerry waved his hand at her. "You just don't understand, Julia."

Julia nodded. "Obviously not. And I really don't think I want to."

Jax laughed as he carved the turkey and separated the white and dark meat on the platter. "Okay, who wants white meat?"

Jillian raised her hand. "Daddy, I do. Then I can have pumpkin pie for dessert. With lots of whipped cream. Yum-yum."

Everyone laughed and the platter with the carved turkey was passed around. Everyone was finally ready to eat. It was time for the toast and everyone raised their wine glasses. Jillian giggled as Jax helped her lift her plastic cup.

John cleared his throat. "To all of us. May we continue to be thankful for the love and joy we bring to each other. And may we all remember that the strength of that love and this family will carry us through any adversity that we may face. Happy Thanksgiving everyone and may God bless us all."

Jax looked at Brenda as the glasses were clinked. She smiled at him and they clinked their glasses against Jillian's plastic cup. Love and family was going to get them through all of this.

Sunday, November 26, 2000
The Barrett/Jacks Penthouse -- 9:00am

Jerry walked into the bedroom and saw that Julia was still asleep under the covers in bed. He had the newspaper under his arm and a glass of orange juice in this hand as he approached the bed. He put the glass on the nightstand and slid into bed next to Julia. Julia was sleeping on her side and facing the opposite direction. The rain was pounding against the windows and the dreary and dismal weather cast darkness into the bedroom.

Jerry took the last sip of orange juice from the glass and edged closer to her. He wrapped his arms around her waist as his body spooned hers. He kissed the back of her neck and she stirred slightly but did not wake up. Jerry kissed her again but she still failed to open her eyes. He rolled away from Julia to the night stand where he lifted an ice cube from his glass. He moved back toward her and spooned her again. He ran the ice cube down the side of her neck.

A shiver ran through her and she yelled. "What the hell are you doing?"

Jerry sat up next to her. "Awakening the dead. I think it worked."

Julia elbowed him in his side. "Stop it."

Jerry shook his head and dropped the ice cube back into the glass. "What the hell has set you off over the past three days?"

Julia turned away from him and pulled the blankets over her shoulders. "There is nothing wrong with me. I don't appreciate being turned into an icicle in the morning, thank you."

Jerry pulled the covers back from her shoulders. "Woman, I don't believe you. You have been in a foul mood since Friday. What is the problem?"

Julia buried her head under the pillow. "Leave me alone. I am trying to sleep."

Jerry lifted the pillow from her head. "I mean it, Julia, what is wrong? I know you and something is bothering you. What is it?"

Julia tried to move away from him but Jerry grabbed her. She began swatting him on the arms and on his bare chest. "Let me go."

Jerry's eyes registered a look of confusion. "Sweetheart, talk to me."

Julia sighed in exasperation and stopped fighting him. "Do you want to know what is wrong with me? I am feeling sorry for myself, that is what is wrong with me. Can't I just do that in peace?"

Jerry pulled her into his arms. "Yes, you can do that in peace. I am sorry."

Julia closed her eyes as Jerry held her to his chest. "No, I am sorry."

Jerry rubbed the back of her neck. "It's okay."

Julia lifted her head. "No, it is not. Another month has gone by Jerry and nothing is happening."

Jerry ran his hand through his hair. "It is one month, Julia."

Julia took a deep breath. "Jerry, it has been a year now and I am still not pregnant."

Jerry looked over at her. "I understand that but that does not mean that you won't be next month or the month after that."

Julia shook her head. "I am going to be thirty-seven years old in a few months. This is not going to get any easier."

He lifted her chin so that she was looking at him. "You are making yourself miserable with this stress. I hate what this is doing to you."

Julia rubbed her temple. "I know the stress is not helping matters. At this point, nothing seems to be helping me."

Jerry put his arms around her. "None of the tests have shown any problems thus far. Dr. Meadows said that she would run more extensive tests after the first of the year if nothing has happened. Until then, you need to find a way to take this self-imposed pressure off yourself."

Julia sighed. "Every month I feel like another door closes and I am never going to be able to open them. And then the rest of world is out there with their children or getting ready to have their children."

Jerry nodded. "As in Friday at the Outback, when you saw a glowing and pregnant Lucy. Or when you see Brenda and Lois with the kids."

Julia slowly exhaled. "I hate myself for feeling like this. It is not that I begrudge them. I don't for one second but sometimes it is just hard to see them all with their families."

"I think part of this stress is the fact that you are keeping this all bottled up inside you. Don't you think it is about time you talked to Brenda about this? She would want to know."

Julia shook her head. "No, she is going through too much right now to be concerned about us. I do not want anyone to know right now. Jax and Brenda are still dealing with their own pain and everyone is worried about them especially with Christmas being four weeks away. Your parents do not need to worry about us as well."

Jerry stroked her cheek. "Then at least talk to me. I don't understand why you are trying to take this on all by yourself. I am your husband and you need to trust me with your feelings and fears."

"Yes, but I am the one with the problem here. You are fine."

Jerry exhaled slowly. "We don't even have any proof that there is a problem. Even if there is, it is our problem, Julia. I am married to you. That is how it works. We have to trust each other in the good and the bad. That is what this marriage thing is all about."

Julia turned away from him. "Well, maybe marrying me is something you will regret in the end. Maybe you should have married someone who could give you a family."

Jerry grabbed Julia's hands and pushed her onto the pillows. "I don't ever want to hear you say that again. You are not to think that for one moment. I love you and I married you and whatever happens to either of us happens to both of us. Do you understand me?"

Tears brimmed Julia's eyes as she nodded. "Yes. I just want your baby so much. I never thought that having a family would become my main focus in life, but now it is the only thing that I want. And I am afraid that it will never happen."

Jerry laid down beside her and pulled her into his arms. "We will just take this one day at a time. If nothing happens in the next few weeks, we will undergo the tests and see the specialist that Dr. Meadows recommends. We will do whatever we have to do."

Julia rested her head on Jerry's chest. "I love you and as much as I hate to admit it, you are right."

"And I love you." Jerry looked around the bedroom. "I would have to love you to sleep in this victorian frill motif. One day I am really going to wake up screaming."

Julia looked up at him. "Forget it. Just because I said you are right does not mean you are getting those dead animal heads back here. Talk about waking up screaming."

Jerry rolled his eyes. "Don't call them dead animal heads. They are prized mounts. Do you have any idea the danger and struggle that I went through to nab them?"

Julia sighed. "Yes, and please do not tell me again. It was bad enough hearing it the first fifteen times."

Jerry sat up. "Woman, you are treading on thin ice with comments like that."

Julia rolled her eyes. "I really think you should look into this obsession you have with oversized stuffed animals. You do have more than Jillian you know."

Jerry shrugged. "I have finally figured this out. You are jealous of my furry friends and you are too insecure to have them in the house."

Julia laughed. "You are even crazier than I ever imagined."

Jerry nodded and cradled her cheek with his palm. "I am crazy. I'm crazy about you."

Julia's eyes shined with love. "I know the feeling. I love you so much and that is why I want to give you our baby."

Jerry stroked her cheek. "When the time is right, we are going to have that baby. Until then, I think we just need to make sure we take advantage of every opportunity we can to ensure that it happens."

Julia slyly smiled. "Oh, you do?"

Jerry ran his hand slowly down her arm. "You know what they say. Practice makes perfect."

Julia nodded. "I have heard that."

Jerry kissed Julia at the base of her throat. "It is such a stormy and miserable day outside. I really don't know why we would even think about getting out of bed today."

Julia ran her hands up and down Jerry's back. "I love the way you think."

Jerry raised his eyebrow at her. "You love a lot of things about me."

Julia laughed as Jerry eased on top of her. Their lips met and their passions quickly overtook them. Their love was going to make everything perfect.

The Jacks Residence -- 3:00pm

The Thanksgiving holiday weekend was quickly coming to an end. John and Jane were on their way back to Alaska and Steve, Abigail and Kayla Williams had returned to Spring Meadows. Jax, Brenda and Jane had spent some time yesterday discussing the spring schedule for the stables with Steve and Abby while Jillian and Kayla played games and watched a movie. Steve and Abby had been in town visiting Abby's parents for the holiday. Lois and Ned had returned from Bensonhurst last night after spending Thanksgiving with the Cerrullos.

Lois and the children had stopped by Jax and Brenda's an hour earlier for a visit. Lois had also brought Brenda some publicity photos and other materials from Miguel. Lois and Ned had gone into Manhattan on Friday evening to once again see Miguel perform in Les Miserables. Once Miguel's limited engagement on Broadway ended, he was going back on tour and Brenda was getting the publicity package together. Since Brooke and Jillian were busy playing tea party and Ned was with Edward and Justus about some ELQ problem, Brenda and Lois decided to spend some time going over some of the publicity materials. Anthony had fallen asleep in his infant seat so Lois had carried the infant seat upstairs and put it in one of the guest rooms and then she and Brenda went into the office to look over the press kit.

An hour later, Brenda and Lois had finished reviewing the materials and had discussed ideas for the next press release concerning Miguel's tour schedule. Brooke and Jillian were in the den with Jax. He was watching the end of the Giants vs. Redskins football game and the girls were acting as cheerleaders for the Giants. Earlier, Brooke and Jillian had ventured into the office and Lois asked Brooke to check on Anthony. Brooke and Jillian had tiptoed upstairs and informed Lois that the baby was still sleeping.

Lois closed up her notebook and looked over at Brenda. "Are you all right?"

Brenda sighed. "It depends on what minute of the day it is."

Lois slowly exhaled. "How was the weekend? Honestly."

"It had its moments -- both good and bad. Jillian really pulled us through Thanksgiving Day itself but then I was a basket case the next day again." Brenda rubbed her temple. "I saw the Happy Holidays from Budweiser commercial with the clydesdales pulling the sleigh and it went down hill from there." Brenda shook her head. "Do you know that it used to be my favorite commercial? Now it gives me a migraine headache."

Lois rubbed Brenda's shoulder. "I'm sorry, honey. I am so sorry."

Brenda gently squeezed Lois' hand. "I know and I appreciate it."

"I wish there was something I could do for you and for Jax."

Brenda took a deep breath. "Unfortunately there is not anything anyone can do. I am just so worried about Jax. I know how worried he is about me. The past few days have not been easy for him either."

Lois looked directly at Brenda. "He loves you so much."

"I know and I love him even more than that. I am just so afraid that I am going to get so caught up in my own grief that I will not be able to help him through his own."

Lois shook her head. "Honey, you are both going to be there for each other. You have overcome so much already. I don't think you are giving yourself enough credit."

Brenda gave Lois half a smile. "You sound just like Jax. Did he give you little cue cards that you are hiding in your sleeves?"

Lois laughed. "No, but if he shares my views on the subject then he is brilliant."

Brenda rolled her eyes. "I will be sure to tell him." A clap of thunder then roared in the sky and Brenda looked out the window as the heavy rain fell against the glass. "Look at that wind and rain."

Lois turned her head to face the window just as hail began to hit the glass. "Great, now it is hailing. The forecast said it could be bad this afternoon."

Brenda nodded. "I think the forecasters were right for a change."

Lois looked at her watch. "Once this storm calms down a bit, I have got to get my gang home so we can get ready for the belated Thanksgiving dinner at the Q's this evening."

Brenda stood up. "That reminds me that I want to give you Emily's bracelet that she left here the other day. I am going to go upstairs to get it before I forget to give it to you."

Brenda left the office to head upstairs and Lois piled up the publicity photos. Jax walked into the office with the portable phone in his hand.

Jax smiled. "Lois, Nedley just called and wanted to make sure you stay put until the storm passes."

Lois shook her head. "Thanks for the message. I will tell Nedley that you passed it on to me."

Jax sat down in the chair next to Lois. "Where is Brenda?"

"She went upstairs to get Emily's bracelet so I can return it to her tonight when we have dinner at the Q's."

Jax looked at Lois intently. "How does she seem to you?"

Lois smiled at Jax. "She is shaky but I really think she is handling this as well as anyone could right now. I know she does not realize that all the time."

Jax took a deep breath. "Lois, I truly believe that is the case and so does Melanie. Brenda is so much stronger than she gives herself credit for at times. The progress she has made over the past five months is incredible. I am so damned proud of her."

Lois patted Jax's hand. "Brenda loves you so much and she knows how you feel about her. I know you two are facing a lot now but I know you can get through it."

Jax agreed. "We can and we will. We have to. The next few weeks are going to be very difficult for all of us and right now that fact is scaring Brenda to death. Her fears about getting past Christmas are overshadowing everything else. She is putting so much pressure on herself to be strong that she does not realize she already is."

Lois nodded. "I agree completely and I told her as much. She accused me of getting cue cards from you."

Jax smiled. "Why does that not surprise me?"

Lois laughed. "Because that is vintage Brenda."

Jax sighed. "It most certainly is and once she realizes that she is over thinking every thought and feeling she is having now, she will be vintage Brenda all the time. I hate that she is second guessing herself now and being so tough on herself."

Lois spoke quietly. "Like she does with Anthony?"

Jax nodded. "Yes. I know what she is doing and I understand it completely but I think she is hurting herself more than she has to."

Lois sighed. "We have not openly discussed this subject a great deal but I know that she is afraid of how much holding him will remind her of losing Jamie."

"Yes, and three months ago, I believe that would have been the case. But now, I am not so sure."

Lois looked up at Jax. "Why?"

Jax took a deep breath. "She is so distressed over the fact that she can't bring herself to pick him up and just love him like she does Brooke. I honestly think that is causing her more pain than holding him ever would. I think she knows that somewhere inside her but she is not trusting those feelings now because of her fears about getting through the next month."

Lois shook her head in agreement. "I think there is something to that. Sometimes I watch her when she is around Anthony and you can almost see the conflict going on in her head."

"I worry about her but I also know that Brenda will address the conflicting feelings one day and decide what is best for her right now."

Lois smiled. "Yes, she will. And in the meantime, her friends and family will be there for her. We will be there for both of you."

Jax grinned. "I know you will and we are going to get through this."

Meanwhile, Brenda had finally retrieved Emily's bracelet after helping Brooke and Jillian find a missing baby bottle for one of Jillian's dolls. The girls had gone to play in the den and Brenda had just walked out of the master suite to go back downstairs to join Lois. At that moment, a very loud clap of thunder echoed through the air. The french doors leading to the balcony of the master suite along with the upstairs windows rattled and then the moan of a huge wind gust filtered through the house. Brenda heard a loud ripping noise and then the sound of breaking glass and a crashing thud. At that very moment, she also heard Anthony's cries coming from the guest room.

Brenda did not even feel herself breathing as she ran into the guest room. Anthony was screaming in the infant seat. Brenda raced over to the bed and unhooked the safety strap securing Anthony into the seat. He was in her arms within seconds.

Brenda massaged his back with her hand. "It's okay, sweetheart. Aunt Brenda is here. You are okay."

Anthony's screams were now sobs. Brenda walked back and forth across the guest room floor. "I am right here. Everything is going to be okay. I am so sorry that you were scared."

Brenda kissed the baby's cheek and held him as close to her as she possibly could. "Aunt Brenda is here, Anthony. I am not going to let anything happen to you."

Brenda stopped shaking and closed her eyes as she held Anthony's face against her cheek. His hair was so soft and his skin felt like silk. He felt so good in her arms and Brenda's heart leapt inside her chest. Her arms did not feel empty anymore. They no longer ached from loss.

Brenda whispered to him. "You are okay. Aunt Brenda loves you so much. I am not going to let you go."

Jax and Lois had raced up the back staircase when they heard the sound of breaking glass. Jax called out for Brenda as he and Lois ran down the hall. Lois reached the guest room just ahead of Jax, who had quickly glanced at the damage caused in the bathroom next to the guest room when the tree limb had fallen against the window and shattered it.

Brenda turned around at the realization of their presence in the doorway. There were tears rolling down her cheeks but the smile on her face was as bright as the summer sun. Jax felt his heart perform a complete somersault when he saw her. The sight of her had taken his breath away. Lois had stopped dead in her tracks at the door and was smiling as brightly as Brenda.

Anthony had calmed down and smiled when he saw Lois. Brenda kissed his cheek again. "There is Mommy and Uncle Jax, sweetheart. Can you tell them that you are all right?"

Jax nodded and swallowed to remove the lump from his throat. "I see that you both are all right. In fact, you both look perfect."

Brenda beamed and swallowed back her tears. She looked down at Anthony. "I am sure your Mommy wants to hold you now just to be sure."

Lois smiled and shook her head. "He is fine right where he is. He is in very good hands." Lois looked at the eye contact being made between Jax and Brenda. "I think I will go check on the girls."

Lois smiled and patted Jax on the arm as she left the guest room. Jax then walked into the center of the room where Brenda was standing. He smiled brightly at her as he put his arm around her. "I love you."

Brenda looked up at him as tears continued to brim her eyes. "I love you too." She then kissed Anthony again and held him against her chest. "Jax, it does not hurt."

Jax nodded. "I am so glad."

"You were right. I just needed to trust my own feelings."

Jax stroked her cheek. "I don't trust anyone in this world more than I trust you so I just wanted you to give yourself the same credit. Now, you have."

Brenda smiled and rested her head against Jax's shoulder. It was another hurdle that had been overcome and her heart was rejoicing. It was also confirming that she could trust herself and her feelings again. Now, she could face the next test which would soon be before her. Christmas Eve was coming and it was going to take everything they had to get through it. Today, Brenda realized she trusted herself enough to try.