Jax stood in the dim light of the hallway, staring blankly at Brenda's apartment door that she had just slammed so unceremoniously in his face. He was dumbfounded by her outburst. What was she talking about - talking to his friend and getting his message clearly? What friend and what message? The only friend who even knew about her was Mike, and he certainly hadn't discussed much about Brenda with him, other than to let him know that Brenda had captured his heart so that he had to end things with Liz. So what was it that had her so angry?

Tightly gripping the wilting bouquet of tulips, he wracked his brain for some clue that would help him understand what exactly was going on with her, but he came up with nothing. Sighing with frustration, Jax ran a hand through his rumpled hair, trying to decide what his next course of action should be. She had expressed herself with perfect clarity - she wanted him as far away from her as possible. Certainly after witnessing firsthand Brenda's wrath, it probably would be prudent to simply leave and allow her time to cool down.

Turning away from her door, Jax took a few steps towards the exit of the building, but he hadn't gotten more than a few feet when he stopped. He wasn't leaving until she explained her abrupt change in attitude toward him, although he knew that was the last thing Brenda wanted. But Jax had never been the type to leave things unresolved, and no matter what it took, he was getting to the bottom of this, and he was going to do it now. Besides, this matter was simply too important to just let go.

Today he had broken off his engagement - he had seriously hurt Elizabeth, disappointed his parents, and possibly changed the course of the future he had always envisioned for himself. And he had done it all because of the woman now standing locked away from him behind a thin, wooden door. Of course, in all fairness, it wasn't as if she had asked him to do any of those things; he had ended the engagement because he wanted to. It was something he *had* to do. Because after meeting Brenda - after spending the most incredible night of his life in her arms - he couldn't imagine not being with her.

Simply put, after Brenda, no other woman would do for him. He had come too far now to let some sort of misunderstanding get in the way of being with the most intoxicating woman he'd ever met. The fact that he had made this decision after spending less than twelve hours with her hadn't escaped him; but the fact of the matter was that he knew, as surely as he knew the sun would rise tomorrow morning, that Brenda and he were meant for one another.

With a renewed sense of purpose, he walked confidently back to Brenda's door, raised his free hand, and knocked loudly - three sharp pounds - and waited for a response. When he was greeted with silence, he repeated his knocking, this time even louder, and called out, "Brenda! Will you please open the door and talk to me?"

He paused but was rewarded with only more silence. Controlling the urge to kick the door in his frustration, he rapped lightly this time, trying a different tactic. "Look, Brenda ... I don't know what happened today that has you so angry with me. Can't you at least fill me in on what has you so upset, so that I can try to explain?" His pleading voice echoed throughout the hallways of the tiny building.

From the opposite side of the thin door, Brenda hissed, "I already told you that I wasn't interested in your explanations - or anything else you have to say to me. Now *leave* before you bother everyone in the building!"

Thankful that she had relented and was at least talking to him now, Jax breathed a sigh of relief. Perhaps she wasn't interested in exchanging pleasantries with him just yet, but at least he wasn't receiving the silent treatment any longer. He was certain that as long as they were communicating, he could clear up any misunderstandings she had about him and his friend - whoever his so-called friend was.

"It's not my intention to bother anyone, but we do need to talk," he answered, and tiredly leaned his head against the door. "Now, we can do it with me standing outside of your door, where your neighbors will get a real earful, or you can allow me to come inside and we can discuss this like civilized adults. But regardless of your decision, I'm not going anywhere until you tell me what's going on."

A loud thump sounded against the door, dangerously close to where his head was resting, as Brenda hit the door in frustration. "Damn it, Jax! Didn't you hear me before? I don't want to talk to you, and I don't have anything to discuss with you - civilized or otherwise. As it is, I'm having enough trouble trying to figure out how to deal with the fallout from the short time I spent with you. Now *go away!*" The sound of her voice indicated that she was furious and speaking through clenched teeth, but Jax was preoccupied with something she had said, rather than the tone of her voice.

"Fallout? Wh- what fallout? For the love of God, Brenda," he pointlessly jiggled her doorknob, "I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about! At the very least, don't I deserve an explanation as to what I've done to make you dislike me so much?" The things that she was saying - about a friend of his giving her a recommendation, and fallout from being with him last night? None of it made any sense to him, and his head was beginning to ache from it all. It was rare for Jax to lose his temper, but that was getting dangerously close to happening very soon. He pounded on the door even harder. "I'm not going away until you tell me what the hell is going on!"

"As far as I'm concerned I don't owe you a damned thing. So either go away or I suggest you make yourself comfortable out there in the hallway," Brenda's grim voice came through the door, "because the chances of you *ever* entering my apartment again are slim to none!" To emphasize her point, she turned the deadbolt, slamming it into place.

"Fine," he answered, his tone equally determined.

He was leaving. She could feel herself begin to relax, and, rolling her head from side to side to ease the tension from her neck, she reached over to flick off the light and started towards her tiny kitchenette. I'll make some tea and snuggle up on the couch, she thought, as she grabbed the newspaper to scour the want ads for another job to pay for food and utilities for the next few weeks, until graduation. She had only moved a few feet when she heard his voice come through the door again. She had thought things were settled with him and he had gone, but apparently Jax had other ideas.

If this was the way she wanted to deal with this, he was prepared to sit in front of her door until she came out again, sleeping there if necessary. "Just be warned," he yelled through the door, "- you can't stay in there forever. You're going to have to leave that apartment at some point, and when that time comes, make sure that you don't trip over me because I'll be the man planted directly in front of your door."

Rushing back to the door, Brenda stood on tiptoe and strained to see what he was doing through the peephole. True to his word, he set the flowers down on the floor and began unbuttoning his sleeves, rolling them up in an exaggerated fashion. Then he leaned over and dusted off the mat that lay in front of her door, then sat down and stretched his long legs out in front of him, crossing them comfortably.

Inside, Brenda covered her face with her hands and moaned with frustration. Why wouldn't he just leave her alone? Surely he didn't expect another fun night of rollicking sex? Wasn't it enough that he had gotten her to open up - to expose her true self to him - before offering him her body as well? He had taken all of her last night- her body and soul - what more could he possibly want from her? He had managed to take what little self-respect she still had when he had armed Mike with all the ammunition he needed to mortally wound her pride. As far as she was concerned, there was nothing left for him to take.

Frustrated that he seemed intent to remain there to scavenge what was left of her sanity since he had already plundered her body and her pride, she balled her hands into fists and kicked the door as hard as she could. "*Will-you-go-home*?!" she spat out, her voice shaking from the myriad of emotions she felt. Having the object of her frustration lurking just outside her door was not helping her maintain the slight grip she still had on her rapidly fraying nerves.

The door shook from her kick, and Jax felt the blow land near his lower back. He could hear the intense anger and frustration in her voice, and, despite not understanding why she was so upset with him, he felt guilty for being the apparent cause of her emotional upheaval. "Brenda..." he began, his voice placating, "I just want to see you ... so that we can talk… Please, open the door and tell me what's bothering you. And after we talk, I'll leave if you still want me to… I promise."

This was truly unbelievable, Brenda thought, as she threw her head back and laughed at the insanity of it all. This man certainly had gall, she'd give him that - to show up here after the things he had told Mike, and then to act like *he* was the injured party! If she weren't the victim here, she probably would've admired both his audacity and his persistence - but she was indeed the victim here, which made this whole, pathetic situation seem like a sick and twisted Shakespearean farce.

Last night Brenda had shared confidences with him that she had never shared with anyone else before. Initially she had written him off as the stereotypical, rich, college guy and assumed that his offer to walk her home was a calculated move, but then, to her surprise, she had thought that a startlingly different man had emerged. She had believed that he was truly interested in her and not just in her body; that he had actually cared that she was hurting and wanted to help her when she had broken down. She had felt that they had shared a real connection between them. That's is why she had made love with him.

To her, making love was something sacred and special; it was not an action to be taken lightly or done casually. Under normal circumstances, it would have taken an enormous amount of time for a man to gain her trust - to be allowed to get so close to her, emotionally and otherwise - but somehow Jax had accomplished that in just a matter of hours. And he had done that by using her momentary weakness against her. Despite the comfort, peace and intense pleasure she had felt in his arms - and no matter how much he might plead or beg - she wouldn't give him another chance to use her again.

"You can talk until you run out of breath, Jax; I'm not listening to any more of your lies," she said, finally breaking the silence. "So you can make it easy on yourself and leave, or waste the rest of the evening outside in my hallway; it's your choice. But think of all the other potentially vulnerable, young women out there that you'll be depriving of your sweet-talk - or are you too exhausted from last night to go slumming again?"

Her barb stung Jax, and he leapt up to pound on the door again. What kind of man did she think he was? Did she think he picked up women all the time - that he preyed on woman as some sort of a hobby? "Brenda -you're talking in riddles here! I have absolutely no idea what you're talking about - slumming? Will you please open this door and explain what the hell happened since you left this morning to turn you against me?" He accentuated his words with hard thumps from his fist.

Across the hall, a door cracked open, the safety chain clearly visible. "Brenda... is everything all right, dear?" a woman's voice asked. "Do you need me to call the police for you?"

"No, thank you, Mrs. Mayassi," Brenda assured her, talking loudly to be heard through the door. "Everything's fine. I'll take care of it." She didn't think tonight could turn out any worse, but somehow it was! Now he was disturbing the entire building! How did her dream night of passion turning into this unending nightmare? "Jax, don't you see that you're… Will you leave me…Oh, damn it!" she growled, roughly opening the locks and removing the safety chain. "Five minutes, Jax - that's it - and then you're *leaving!*" she glared as she jerked her door open.

Recognizing his one opportunity, Jax snatched up the tulips off the floor and quickly slipped inside the apartment before she changed her mind, moving just past where Brenda stood. Closing the door to allow them some privacy, but leaving it unlocked to let him know he was *not* staying for long, she turned to face him, her arms folded across her chest, an expectant look on her face.

"I brought these for you." Jax offered the now-wilted bouquet of flowers to her as a peace offering.

Brenda regarded them disdainfully, thinking that she should just grab the flowers and smack him over the head with them. "Before you get any ideas, the only reason I let you in here was to avoid bothering any more of my neighbors, not to accept a bunch of dying flowers from you. So I would really appreciate it if you would just say whatever it is you feel is so important, and then get the hell out! You have five minutes - not a minute more!" she told him harshly. "Now ... can we get this over with?"

He dropped his hand that held the wilted flowers to his side as he stood staring at her, a puzzled look on his face. "I appreciate you letting me inside, Brenda, but I have no idea what to say to you. I was hoping that you could explain things to *me,*" he gazed at her, his eyes showing genuine confusion. "I'm completely in the dark about what apparently happened while I was in New York today, and I-" The snort of disbelief from Brenda stopped him from continuing.

Uncrossing her arms, she walked over to the couch and sat down, curling her denim-clad legs beneath her. She was still angry with him, but suddenly she felt too tired to remain standing. He looked as confused as she felt, she thought. And the contrite look on his face made her wonder if perhaps she should give him a chance to explain his side of the story. But then she remembered the note that Mike had and Mike telling her about Jax's jaunt to New York; it was all the confirmation she needed that everything Mike had said was true.

"Well, at least you admit that you were in New York," she said bitterly. "I'd expected that you'd deny everything Mike had said - especially since you had the nerve to come back here, hoping for a repeat performance of last night. But just so there is no misunderstanding about this, there will *NEVER,**EVER* be another night like last night between us." Though her words were strong, the truth was that simply being so near to him was already weakening her resolve. The man had a way of causing her to melt under his gaze, to lose herself in the soft words that came from his mouth.

Whatever he made her feel didn't matter, though, because Brenda had no intention of being lured back into his web of deceit, no matter how skillfully he spun it. Letting him in to try to explain something that was already crystal clear was even pointless - there was no way Mike could have known such personal things about last night had Jax not described them to him, and she would never forgive Jax for that. She reminded herself that it was imperative that she kept her defenses up and her heart shielded from him.

The moment Brenda mentioned Mike's name, bits and pieces of all of this began falling into place, and Jax slowly understood the root cause of Brenda's fury. Mike must have spoken to her at some point today, after he'd gone to Long Island. Mike was the friend she kept referring to, Jax thought. Now it all was beginning to make sense! Mike had been the only person who knew about his sudden trip to Long Island today ... and Mike had tried so vehemently to dissuade him from breaking his engagement. Add all of that to the fact that Mike had been the one who was initially interested in Brenda, and Jax wondered if Mike had deliberately tried to sabotage his budding relationship with Brenda? But why would one of his best friends in the entire world do something like this? There had to be some misunderstanding, he decided. There was no way he could understand how his best friend would do something to deliberately hurt him like this. And how did Mike know where to find Brenda? She'd been working all day and had just recently finished her shift, so when and where would Mike have talked with her?

Jax set the bundle of flowers on a small table next to the couch and sat down on the couch with Brenda, who immediately moved as far away as possible from him, curling her small body into the cushions at the far end of the couch. "I said five minutes, and it looks like you've only got about two left, Jax. So don't make yourself comfortable, because you're not staying," she said emphatically, and made a point of checking the time on her wristwatch. "I mean it, Jax. I'm planning on chalking this whole episode up as a one big mistake - a sort of disastrous learning experience for me - and forcing your way in here isn't making things any easier for me."

It hurt Jax to see her withdrawing from him after what they had shared, but it also increased his resolve to straighten the situation out. "I always keep my promises, Brenda - As soon as we talk, and I find out what happened between you and Mike today, I *will* leave - if you still want me to - but…" he gazed down at his hands, which were gripping his knees tightly to keep from reaching over to touch her, "…I'm still clueless about what Mike said that made you so angry. Even without knowing any of the details, I can assure you that I didn't betray your trust, and I didn't divulge any details of what went on between us last night. I would never do that, Brenda." He raised his eyes to meet hers, and the ocean-blue color of the orbs held her mesmerized. "Can you please just tell me what happened?"

By now Brenda was curled into a ball in a corner of the couch, her knees on the couch, with her hands wrapped around them in a protective manner. Fear coursed through her - not fear that Jax would physically harm her, because she instinctively knew that would never hurt her physically - but fear that reliving her experience with Mike would expose that pain once again, and she wanted to keep those feelings buried. "I don't want to talk about it, Jax," she said firmly. "If you really want to know ... ask your friend what happened."

His brows furrowed, Jax moved closer to her, worried at how vulnerable she appeared. "Why can't you just tell me? I really need to know what he said, because he obviously insulted you - and if he did that, then he's offended me as well."

Shaking her head vigorously, Brenda kept her forehead resting against her knees. "Some ... There are just some things you don't want to repeat, Jax," she said sadly, trying vainly to keep her voice strong. "I just want to forget the things he said to me. I wish that I could forget that I had ever met you. In fact, I wish that we had never met in the first place, then none of this would have happened."

The words Brenda was saying cut like a knife through his heart: she wished she had never met him? It was the most painful thing he had ever heard, because, as far as he was concerned, their spontaneous encounter in Malarkey's had been the best thing that had ever happened to him. She had been so stubborn and feisty - full of fire and spirit - when they had met, but now she just seemed tired and defeated. If he was the reason for her misery, then he was the one who also needed to fix whatever had gone wrong for her - for them. Reaching out, he lightly covered her cold, trembling hands with his own warm ones. "The last thing in the world that I ever wanted was to see you feeling this way. I have no idea what happened between you and Mike today, but you have to know that whatever Mike said or did, I had absolutely nothing to do with it." He hesitated only slightly, not wanting to break the tenuous hold he had on her attention, "Brenda, in order for me to straighten this situation out, I need to know what exactly happened - what Mike said or did. Even if it hurts you to tell it ... please tell me, so that I can try to make things right again."

Make things right again? Brenda thought, as she wrapped her arms more tightly around her knees. If only things *could* be made right again… If she could make one wish right this very minute, it would be to return to last night at Malarkey's - no, she would never have gone to the bar in the first place. If she hadn't gone there, she wouldn't have had that incident with Mike, never walked home with Jax, and never fallen into his arms. She would never have experienced those moments of pure happiness with him - but now those memories of that happiness were irrevocably tainted. She should have known that any happiness she would have would be short-lived; true joy was something she had rarely experienced in her young life.

Gathering what little strength she still had, she pushed his hand away from hers and turned to face him with sad eyes. "Don't you see? You *can't* make things right. You ruined the time that we spent together, and nothing you do or say can ever change that. How can you expect me to trust you again after the hateful things you said about me to your friend?" Her stubborn gaze held his, challenging him to provide an explanation.

Jax refused to be put off; not when he was finally beginning to piece together the puzzle. "From what I've gathered so far, you ran into Mike at some point today and he said something to you - something that caused you to think that I didn't regard last night as special. What you need to know is that I didn't share any of the details of our time together with him - *none* of it. I don't know what lies he came up with to make you suddenly hate me, but trust me, they *are* lies." As he tried to make Brenda understand that Mike had to have lied to her, Jax's mind struggled with the realization that one of the closest people to him in the world had blatantly gone after Brenda, maliciously destroying what he and Brenda had found together. But he no longer wondered why Mike had done this unforgivable thing. It was pure and simple jealousy - Mike had seen and wanted Brenda first, but she had shot him down; then she had made love with Jax.

"Bravo, Jax," Brenda said sarcastically. "You are quite the actor - perhaps you should consider changing your career choice. Of course, I guess one has to do a lot of pretending as a lawyer, too, though…" Uncurling her legs from beneath her, she turned to face him. "Mike wasn't lying. He knew, Jax! He knew that I ... that we ... he knew that we slept together! He told me the whole story about us - and a lot about you, as well," she said bitterly. "About your penchant for enjoying the occasional fling… about your recommendation that he 'sample a certain dish' that you experienced last night - that although your tastes were more refined, perhaps *he* would enjoy me more than you had. Apparently your *fiancée* is more to your taste than someone who wasn't born with a silver spoon in her mouth," she finished, her entire body shaking from the humiliation and rage that filled her.

"He said *what?*" Jax roared, leaping up from the couch, his fists clenched. He knew Mike, knew what he was capable of. He knew him better than almost anyone, but he would never have thought that even Mike could sink so low as to do this. "Brenda, my God! No wonder you refused to speak to me!"

He paced the length of the tiny apartment a few times before coming to kneel in front of Brenda, his eyes searching hers for a small bit of understanding. Reaching for her hands, he held onto them tightly as she tried to pull them away. "I swear to you: I never said *any* of those things to him. The only reason Mike knew that we spent any time together was because I needed him to pick me up. Remember, I left my car at the bar last night?"

"I imagine you were in a big hurry," was her scathing reply, "since you were rushing to meet your fiancée." Jax sounded like he was telling the truth - she doubted that anyone could feign such desperation - but she was just too scared to fall into the trap again.

Jax stroked her hands in a soothing motion, his gaze silently pleading with her to believe him. "You don't know much about me Brenda, I'll concede that point. But I don't kiss and tell to anyone, especially to Mike. I never have, and I never will. I want to tell you about the exchange between him and me - the *short* exchange, I might add.

"When I called Mike, he immediately picked up on the fact that I had spent the evening with you - not because I told him, but because he knew that I had left the bar to catch up with you, to apologize for his rude actions. And the only reason I called was for him to pick me up so that I could get home. He drove me home and tried his best to wheedle details from me, which I didn't provide. I told him that I was going to Long Island - yes - but not for the reason that you think." Lifting his hands from hers, he cradled her face gently and forced her to look him squarely in the eye. "I told Mike that I was going to Long Island to break my engagement with Elizabeth."

Brenda couldn't control the look of shock that flashed across her face, but it was quickly replaced with skepticism. "After spending one night with me, you decided to break your engagement? That doesn't speak well of your character, Jax. And I'm insulted that you couldn't have come up with a better excuse than that!"

Pausing for a moment, she reached into the pocket of her jeans, pulling out a crumpled piece of paper and tossing it at Jax. "It seems to me that you're the one lying here, while Mike was the one telling the truth. You even gave him this note so he'd know exactly where to find me!"

The note bounced off Jax's chest, landing on the floor next to him; he quickly snatched it up. After skimming its contents, he crumpled it back up, dismissing it. "Mike must have found this in my room, while I was showering. He was alone in my room then," he explained, thinking back to that morning.

Brenda regarded him quietly. "Maybe he did pick up the note on his own, as you say, but why would he go out of his way to come to my job and say those things to me? You said yourself that he's one of your closest friends - Why would someone you trust do something to deliberately hurt me and to sabotage you? If what you say is true - I mean, that what happened last night had changed things... that we..." Feeling her voice beginning to shake and the tears once again welling up in her eyes, she stopped talking before she began sobbing.

The anguish in Brenda's voice actually sent a shock of pain through his chest, and Jax tightly grasped her hands again, his voice filled with desperation, "Last night we had only just met. The moment I saw you, bellowing to the entire campus at your rally, I was inexplicably drawn to you. But I dismissed any thoughts of pursuing you because I was engaged - promised to someone else - and I have always considered myself to be an honorable man in that I take my commitments very seriously. But then, later that evening as I was jogging, I found myself consumed with thoughts of you. Still, I pushed them aside - told myself that you were simply an attractive woman, that spring was here and that you were merely a beautiful and momentary distraction, and that there was nothing more than that to my attraction to you. After my run I still felt restless, so I headed over to Malarkey's to meet my friends. I had told myself that I was going only to occupy my time, but truthfully, I needed to do something to get that loud, young woman, who was full of fire and determination and who had somehow bewitched me, out of my mind."

Though she was still fighting back her tears, Brenda couldn't help but smile at his description of her. Her head told her not to believe him, but her heart told her to listen carefully, and her heart seemed to be winning - What he was saying was touching her deeply, and she was beginning to believe him.

Sniffling, she raised her eyes, and Jax thought he saw the gates that were locking him out of her heart opening just a tiny bit. That tiny glimmer of hope gave him enough courage to continue.

"And suddenly ... there you were... so tiny, so fragile, standing up to a drunken lout without a hint of fear. I was mesmerized, Brenda ... You reminded me of one those mythical warriors from ancient times, prepared to defend your honor, needing no help from anyone else. I can't say that I fell in love with you at that moment, but I knew that I *had* to meet you properly. I had to learn all about you - what drives you, what makes you everything that you are."

He suddenly realized that his death grip on her hands was no longer necessary, as she had relaxed her hands in his. Lifting one of her tiny hands, he placed it on top of his and covered it with his free hand. "When you let me into your home, and told me your story of all of your struggles, it filled me with admiration for your courage and your strength. And when you let go of all your emotions and allowed me to see who you really are and then you allowed me to hold you and to comfort you, I was overwhelmed by the fierce emotions that swept through me."

He lifted his hand from over hers to lightly graze her cheek, and gazed deeply into her eyes, showing her the truth of his words and the depth of his feelings for her. "And then I touched your soft, warm skin and then we kissed…" His voice caught in his throat, unsure if he could possibly convey in words all that his heart felt for her, "And then, when we made love, we shared the most beautiful, most perfect connection I have ever felt in my life. When we made love, the world seemed at once to stand still, yet spin wildly out of control, both at the same time. I knew then that I never wanted to be apart from you, and everything that you've revealed to me about yourself since then has only drawn me to you more."

Brenda was torn. He had just said the very things that she had always yearned to hear, though she hadn't even known it herself until just now. It all sounded too good to be true, yet it felt so right. When she looked into his eyes, she knew he was being truthful with her. She had felt a strong pull toward him from the moment he had followed her out of the bar - strong enough to feel safe walking the streets of Georgetown with him, even though he was a virtual stranger then. It was odd, but simply walking with him like that - sometimes talking, sometimes not - felt familiar in a way that she couldn't explain. Even her initial resistance to allowing him inside her home had quickly disappeared, even with very little persistence on his part. He had been just charming enough to allow him into her sanctuary.

Brenda's home was a place that she kept extremely private, and she rarely had visitors. She cherished her own space as much as she cherished her privacy. Her apartment wasn't much, but she had decorated it to suit her own tastes, and sometimes having others invade that space made her feel claustrophobic and uncomfortable. To her surprise, Jax had seemed at home the moment he stepped through the door. She had watched him closely as his eyes had swept over the interior of the tiny place, and she had waited for a hint of scorn or pity to come into his eyes, since these certainly weren't the luxurious surroundings he was most likely accustomed to. But instead, he had surprised her yet again when she had called him on his furtive glances, by acknowledging that, even though it was not a penthouse, it was warm and inviting, and his comments had actually made her blush with pride.

And somehow, after being invited in for a brief rest before she sent him on his way, he had managed to gain a foothold in her heart. And now as she looked at him kneeling before her, despite all the thoughts that had run through her head about him today after her confrontation with Mike, she found that she believed him. Incredibly - despite the strong instinct of self-preservation that rested inside of her - she believed that he really had no idea what had happened or why she was so upset. Still, even though she believed him and she acknowledged that perhaps she was experiencing the same feelings that he was, she was unsure how to proceed - what to say next. She simply wasn't used to opening herself up.

As the back of his hand lightly grazed her cheek, she swallowed hard, hoping her voice wouldn't betray the conflicting emotions she was having. "I... I don't know what to say, Jax, or what to believe. When I look..." she paused and took a deep breath, closing her eyes tightly before she continued, "When I look into your eyes and listen to what you're saying, there's a part of me that believes you would never do such a horrible thing. But just the same..." she reached down and picked up the crumpled note on the floor, "that doesn't fully explain everything…"

Jax's heart beat erratically in his chest; she was slowly lowering the walls she had built tightly around her heart since last night. She had let his foot slip inside the door, and he had to make sure she didn't slam it shut again. "I can't explain everything for you right now, Brenda," Jax said quickly, keeping his voice low and soothing. "But I can promise you that I will find out what went on and why. Although I'd venture a guess that I know why Mike came to see you today," he finished, as he gazed away into space, his normally placid eyes cold and icy.

"What *do* you think happened?" Brenda asked, noticing the change in Jax immediately. It was as if he were suddenly two different people: one, the warm, charming, caring and sensual man she'd seen last night; the other, this calculating, ruthless stranger, whom she'd never met before. Strangely though, the change in Jax didn't frighten her one bit; as she'd realized before, she had no fear that he would ever harm her in any way. "And why did it happen?"

When she asked the latter, Jax's eyes softened as he turned back to look deeply into her eyes once again; the safe and warm eyes that she recognized had returned. "Why?" he chuckled, as he rose from his kneeling position to sit next to her on the couch, albeit with a decent amount of space between the two of them. "The answer is fairly obvious. You really don't know?" Brenda shook her head, growing more frustrated by the minute and anxious for him to share his conclusion. "It's you, Brenda. He wanted you - Hell, he probably *still* wants you."

Jax sank back further into the cushions of the sofa and let his arms fall to his sides, his right hand resting closely to Brenda's left thigh. She instantly felt the heat emanating from him, from his body being so close to hers, but Jax was oblivious - he was lost in thoughts of Mike. "You know, Brenda, Mike and I have been best friends for as long as I can remember. Mike was always the one getting the three of us into trouble; Eric was the one trying to talk me into whatever crazy scheme Mike had dreamed up; and me - I was the one who worked on getting Mike's plans down to something that wasn't considered illegal. It's funny," he mused, as his mind traveled back in time to his childhood, "as different as we have always been, we've stuck together no matter what the consequences. All for one and one for all, that sort of nonsense. But no matter how silly those oaths we used to take were, I always stuck to them - stuck by my friends. Sure, sometimes Mike would step a bit over the line, but Eric or I could always get him to come around. But tonight when you turned him down, it embarrassed him, and that made him angry."

Because she was so engrossed in his story, or perhaps because things felt so easy with him, she resumed her earlier position with her legs curled beneath her. She leaned her head back against the sofa, her cheek resting against the cushion, as she gave Jax a look that clearly showed how happy she was for Mike's embarrassment. "Because someone like *him* isn't used to getting turned down?" she smiled, a wicked curl of her lips that caused Jax's eyes to linger on them a little longer than he intended. Jax didn't want to spoil the mood by turning it into something physical - not yet, anyway.

He leaned his head back against the cushions as well, and smiled at her. "Mike is most definitely not used to getting turned down. No, let me amend that: he's been turned down, but has always seemed to be able to change his target's mind with a little use of flattery and charm. For him to be turned down - most emphatically, as you did, and in front of a group of his friends - would be the ultimate affront to him. Add to that the slap you gave him - which was well deserved, I might add - and that might cause him to lose his cool."

Brenda bristled. "But he brought that slap on himself. He had no right to -"

Jax cut in, anticipating what she was going to say. "You're right. And I told him that in no uncertain terms before I went looking for you. I figured that you deserved an apology; if not from him, then at least from me. I felt responsible for what happened to you. I considered it reprehensible, and although I didn't know you at the time, it was important for me to let you know that I don't condone that sort of behavior under any circumstances."

"Responsible?" Brenda squinted at him in confusion. "Why would you feel responsible? You were in the bar, Jax; you weren't standing next to him, egging him on. I didn't hold anyone but Mike accountable for his manhandling me. You did everything that you could - when you saw the situation escalating, you at least stepped in to help," she told him, only now fully realizing what had occurred. "Just the fact that you took the time to chase me down and apologize was above and beyond the call of duty as the friend of a creep." She was able to smile a little, beginning to regain some of her spirit.

Jax wasn't able to return her smile; he was still in shock at the idea that one of his closest, lifelong friends had tried to destroy something good that was happening to him. Had he done it simply for sport? To add a little entertainment to an otherwise bland day? Jax knew better than anyone how Mike enjoyed causing trouble, only to stand back and watch the fallout. Fallout - Hadn't Brenda used that exact word earlier? "Tell me something," he looked her squarely in the eye again, "what did you mean when you said you were 'having enough trouble dealing with the fallout' from the incident? What were you referring to?"

Her face clouded over again, as her troubles resurfaced. "It's nothing," she said quietly, averting her eyes from his. Brenda was accustomed to dealing with problems on her own - She didn't want or need anyone else to help her out. In the long run, that would only leave her let down and alone once again - right where she had begun.

Jax reached over and tilted her chin, so that he could see her face. The expression alone told him that whatever was bothering her wasn't 'nothing.' "No, it's not," he contradicted her. "And you still haven't explained to me exactly what he did. You saw Mike today - Was it at the restaurant you work at? What's it called…McGinty's?"

Brenda nodded reluctantly, but she knew that he'd eventually find out the events of the day anyway.

"Yes. He came there, and asked specifically to be seated at one of my tables. He told me that you had referred him to me as a 'dish' he might like to 'sample.'" Jax's face turned red with anger, but he let her finish detailing the events. "I didn't believe him at first, though; I just tried to blow him off and treat him as if he were any other customer. But then he..." Her voice trailed off, as those horrible feelings the pit of her stomach came back. "…He showed me the note that I had left for you, implying that you really had directed him to me."

Running his fingers through his hair, Jax ground his teeth together to hold back the curses threatening to erupt from his mouth. What the hell was wrong with him? How could he have misjudged someone for all of these years? Considered him to be almost a brother?

Brenda continued with her story, relaying the interaction between her boss and Mike, the lie about the possible party plans Mike had fed Mr. McGinty, and finally ending with the surprise shower she had graced Mike with, causing Jax to let out a shout of laughter.

"You did that? In a restaurant filled with customers?" he roared, picturing a furious Mike sitting drenched with a milkshake in front of a gawking crowd. How he wished he could've witnessed *that* scene!

"You bet I did! I didn't give a damn who he was or what kind of business he could bring to the restaurant - he can't treat me like that and not expect to be dealt with accordingly," Brenda told him defiantly. "The only problem with my actions was ... I received a strong reaction from Mr. McGinty."

Jax raised his brows questioningly.

"I was fired," Brenda said simply, keeping her tone flat and emotionless. "On the spot. Well, I actually wasn't fired, but only because I didn't give Mr. McGinty the chance to do it; I quit before he could fire me," she shrugged off the importance of what she had just shared.

"And there you have it - the fallout I was talking about… finding another job that will get me through the next few weeks of school. McGinty's didn't pay much, but the tips were good. Thank God I already paid rent through the end of the semester; now I just need to find a way to eat and pay my utilities until graduation." Reaching over to the small coffee table, she picked up a folded newspaper. "And that is how I plan on spending the rest of tonight and tomorrow doing: looking for another job to pay the bills." She slapped the paper onto her lap and gave Jax a rueful smile. "So now you have the full story of my day."

Jax sat quietly for a moment; at last digesting all that had taken place that day. He had come to terms with the fact that he could no longer count Mike as a friends as soon as he'd heard what Mike had done to Brenda. It seemed impossible, even to himself, that he was able to cut Mike out of his life at such short notice, but it was done. As far as he was concerned, they had shared a past - a fun past, where they had experienced many adventures and bonded in many ways - but those days where over. His behavior had made Jax's decision for him. It had been one of the most difficult decisions Jax would ever have to make, but his mind was already made up.

Jax had even been willing to overlook Mike's brazen outburst at the bar, but today - today he had set out to purposely hurt Brenda merely to get back at Jax for managing to gain her confidence, and obviously sharing her bed. Seeing Jax so cheerful that morning, after obviously having spent the night with Brenda, must have poured salt into Mike's wounds. Jax knew that his time with Brenda was what had caused this debacle, and that proved beyond question that Mike was not the true friend he had always thought him to be.

To make matters even worse, his jealous, childish prank had cost Brenda her job - a job that she clearly needed to survive. Luckily, money had never been a concern to Jax. He had always known how fortunate he was to be born into a family that was more than financially secure, wealthy in fact. And he had always recognized that there were others who needed to work, and he really respected the people that were able to live without the help of a trust fund or a wealthy family. He felt responsible for the entire situation, so he needed to somehow repair some of the damage Mike had done - starting with Brenda's job.

He knew, without daring to mention it, that offering her money to tide her over would anger her, so he dismissed that idea right away. But what else could he do to help her out, at least until she graduated? "I don't suppose you have any savings?" he hedged, fully aware what her answer would be.

Glancing sideways at him from out of the corners of her eyes, Brenda gave him a knowing look. "What do *you* think?" she asked. She made a sweeping movement, encompassing the small apartment. "I live from paycheck to paycheck, Jax. Saving is something that other people do - a luxury that I could never afford." She sighed, and shook her head so that her hair swirled around her shoulders. "I should've figured that you wouldn't understand something like financial troubles.

"Once again, I have to give you credit for forcing me to listen to you. I don't blame you for any of this, although I have to admit that I wouldn't be in this predicament if I had never let you inside here last night. But that's water under the bridge. Right now, I just want to look at the want ads and get another job as soon as possible - a job that doesn't require references," she added sadly. "Mr. McGinty would probably describe me to any prospective employer as an incompetent, rude fool." Standing, she held the newspaper in her hand and gestured towards the front door. "But despite all that has happened, I appreciate that you stopped by… But right now, I'd like you to leave so I can try to salvage what little there is left of my life..."

She had asked him to leave, but that was the last thing that she really wanted. She wanted to cling to him; to have him hold her in his arms again and make all of her troubles disappear. She wanted him to carry her into her bedroom again, and make love to her as he had done last night; to make her feel as if they were the only two people on earth. She knew he felt the connection as well - kissing him had been as natural as inhaling; making love as easy as exhaling. But Brenda was a realist, and she knew that the two of them were like oil and water. If he had ended his relationship with some poor girl - his fiancée, no less! - he had made a horrible mistake. Because she and Jax were not going to happen… were not meant to be.

Jax stood as well, towering over her as he leaned in close. "I'm going to leave, Brenda - don't worry. There are some things that need to be settled between me and Mike," he said grimly, as he made a fist and thrust it into the palm of his other hand.

"Don't waste your time, Jax," Brenda advised, and she lay her small hand on his shoulder and sensed the tension there. She needed to defuse the situation before Jax rushed headfirst into a confrontation to defend her honor. He didn't even *know* her, whereas he had known Mike his entire life. She didn't want to be the catalyst for him to make decisions that he would surely grow to regret later.

"I don't think Mike is the sort of person who can change or be made to regret something that he's done. My impression of him is that he does what he wants, and leaves someone else to deal with the consequences. It's not your problem," she said quietly. The last twenty-four hours had been turbulent, and all Brenda wanted now was peace.

These were not the types of men she should've gotten involved with in the first place, she told herself. Although there was a part of her that wished that that she and Jax could have started off in a normal way…could have had a chance to see where last night could lead. Maybe one day they could have - it if hadn't been for Mike… But it was no use Dreaming, and she was too tired to deal with any more of this. "Just go home, Jax. Go back to your fiancée and the way your life was. I'm sure she'll understand your temporary insanity - chalk it up to pre-graduation jitters combined with a case of cold feet. Go lead the life you were meant to, and I'll lead mine."

"Is that what you really want?" Jax's voice was soft, as he lifted her hand from his shoulder and clasped it into his and he removed the newspaper from her other hand and claimed it in the same way. His hands, slightly rough from years of playing rough and tumble sports with his buddies, held hers softly yet firmly. "Because it's not what I want. I don't want to 'go back' to my old life. My life before was wonderful - yes - but there was something missing. I found it last night, and I'm not going to let it go." He lowered his head so that their noses touched, and Brenda felt her defenses slipping away as his eyes captured hers. "I *won't* let you go."

Foreheads touching, eyes locked, an unmistakable sizzle passed between them, as Brenda acknowledged that there was in fact an unspoken ... *thing* ... between them. But as exciting and wonderful as that thing might be, it wasn't worth all the trouble it was turning out to be. This man had broken his engagement for her after only one night together! How could he - how could *they* - be sure that this thing between them was the real thing and something worth pursuing?

"Jax..." she whispered, unwilling to break contact with him, her breath whispering across his cheeks, "I ... this is too much… too fast. I don't know what's going on here between us ... I just think it would be better for both of us to return to the things we know. We don't *know* each other, Jax."

He moved his head to rest his cheek against hers and cradled her in his arms. "Yes, this is fast. And no, I'm not sure what is going on between us. But I don't think it would be better to try to forget, sweetheart. Why should we forget something that feels so spectacular, so wonderful, and so right? I don't know everything about you, I will grant you that, but I *do* know that whatever this is - whatever we have here - we have to give it a try. Give yourself a chance to get to know me, Brenda, and let me know you. And I know that we'll both like what we discover about each other." Kissing her softly behind her ear, he leaned back and looked in her eyes. "Can you honestly look me in the eye at this moment and tell me that you don't want - not even the slightest bit - to try this? If you can, then I'll go away."

Still tight in his embrace, with her arms now wrapped around his waist, Brenda sighed in confusion. She didn't know ... things were already so crazy... The smartest thing to do would be to close the door behind him and resume her empty existence. She didn't realize how deeply engrossed she was in her quiet debate, until Jax whispered again, "Because if you don't try, I guarantee you'll remember the chance you didn't take for a long, long time. And perhaps regret it."

Face to face again, Jax tilted his head so that their lips were mere inches apart. "Let me in, Brenda ... I can make you so happy..."

After a moment's hesitation, Brenda leaned forward and met his lips with her own, touching them reverently with her own. She pressed her lips against his in a sweet, innocent kiss. "How do you know?" she whispered, running her hands up and down his broad back. "How do you know you can make me happy?" She wondered idly to herself why she bothered asking, when she already knew that being in his arms was more breathtaking than spotting a shooting star. When he held her, it was like she was dancing barefoot in a moonlit meadow, in a long, flowing white dress, as the stars twinkled just for them and the creatures of the night played a symphony written just for the two of them.

Jax didn't answer her - at least not with words. As he had been yearning to do all evening, he gathered her into his arms and sat down on the couch and kissed her. He kissed her eyelids, her eyelashes, the tip of her nose, the planes of her cheekbones, her earlobes, the nape of her neck, her chin, her irresistible beauty mark, and finally captured his prize. By the time his lips touched hers, Brenda was trembling with passion and wanting, full of desire and wonder, and she wholeheartedly gave herself to him. Their tongues dueled a romantic dance, then Jax retreated to nibble on her bottom lip, then the top, then claimed her mouth again for another searing kiss that left them both breathless.

"I hope that answers your question," he said, his lips still hovering over hers, brushing them as he spoke. "If you felt even a fraction of what I did, then you must know that I'm right."

Still wound up in the rapturous feelings Jax had just stirred in her, Brenda only gazed at him and nodded. She was surprised, then, when he stood and gently placed her back down onto the sofa.

"Wh- Where are you going?" she asked, only just regaining her senses.

"I have something I need to do," Jax told her. At her look of reproach, he added, "Brenda, please. This is someone I trusted. He has to be dealt with and I need to do it now. But as soon as I do, I'm coming back here to you, and we're going to figure out what to do next, OK?" he told her, and stood with one hand on the doorknob, gazing at her. ""I'm coming *right* back here to you," he repeated.

"All right, Jax," she gave in. "But please - don't make this a bigger deal than it is. I don't want that jerk to have the satisfaction of thinking he hurt me. And I don't want you to get hurt, either," she added. "Promise me you'll be careful?"

Jax winked at her. "I have something much too important waiting for me to do anything foolish," he replied, as he opened the door and left, shutting it quietly behind him.