Wednesday, October 1, 1997
The Jacks' Residence -- 6:00am

Jax awoke as the first rays of the sun began to appear on the horizon. It had been a long night. Jillian had awakened before 2:00am to eat but did not want to settle down. Brenda had fed her, walked her and rocked her until she finally had fallen back to sleep around 4:00am. For the next hour thereafter, Brenda had continued to get out of bed to make sure the baby was still breathing. Jax looked over at Brenda who was finally resting peacefully. He quietly got out of bed and walked over to the bassinet. Jillian was restless and began to fuss. Jax picked her up and put her over his shoulder. She immediately stopped fussing and Jax climbed back into bed with the baby. Jax laid Jillian between him and Brenda and leaned on his elbow as he offered the baby his finger and whispered to her.

"Hey Princess. Shhhh. Can we give Mommy a few more minutes? She needs to sleep. She took such good care of you and she loves you so much. When you get to know her, you will see how beautiful and giving she is. Mommy would do anything for you."

Jillian turned toward the sound of Jax's voice as she continued to grasp his finger. She then began to hiccup. Jax picked her up and placed her on his bare chest and he gently rubbed her back.

"Hiccups, huh? You're okay."

Brenda stirred and then rolled over toward Jax. She instinctively reached out for him and smiled as her hand found Jillian rather than his muscular chest. Brenda immediately opened her eyes.

"The picture before me is even more beautiful than the one in my dream."

"Dreaming again, Mrs. Jacks?"

"Yes, although I don't know why. Reality is even more spectacular than any dream could ever be."

Brenda moved closer to Jax and lifted her finger to gently stroke Jillian's cheek. "Good morning sunshine. How is Mommy's little girl today? Brenda then kissed Jax softly on the lips. "Good morning my darling. Are you enjoying your father/daughter time?"

"Yes, we were discussing the meaning of life. She has some incredible insight."

"She does, does she? You wouldn't be biased, would you?"

"Me? Of course not."

Jillian began fussing and Brenda took her from Jax. Brenda brought Jillian to her cheek and hugged her. Jillian then began sucking Brenda's cheek.

"Okay, okay. I get the message." Brenda unbuttoned her nightshirt and moved Jillian to her breast. The baby immediately began to nurse. "That's it, precious. We are slowly figuring this out."

"You two are doing great. Jillian has one extraordinary mother."

"Her father is not half bad either."

"I want you to try to get some rest today. Yesterday and last night were exhausting for you. You should stay up here all day. You don't need to be climbing the stairs. Mum will be around all day and Corrine will be available. If you want to come down for dinner, I'll carry you."

"Yes, sir. Jillian and I will spend the day together and have some quality time with Jane. The only visitor I expect is Lucy. She and Kevin came back last night from their trip to Bermuda and she wants to see the baby."

"When do you expect her?"

"She'll be here at 3:00pm."

Jax laughed. "I am going to have to talk to her about those visions of hers when I see her next. They could be of some assistance in some of my deals."

"I'll be sure to tell her."

J & J Jacks -- 1:00pm

Jax and Addie had been working at record pace this morning. Jax was trying to resolve a number of issues before the end of the week. He planned to be out of the office most of the next week to spend some time with Brenda and the baby. Next week, Julia would be traveling to the Atlantic Shipping regional offices and Jerry and his parents would be back in Alaska. Accordingly, it would just be Jax, Brenda and Jillian at the house. Jax wanted to take advantage of their time together. Jax was finishing up a call when Jerry burst into his office.

"I cannot work with that woman. She is completely impossible."

"What has Julia done now?"

"She took it upon herself to meet with Gary Trudeau to address the restrictive covenant issue."

"I know. Trudeau called me a few minutes ago to tell me how much he appreciates our position on the issue. Julia already has made more headway than either of us have in the past month."

"She overstepped her bounds. She is supposed to be consulting not taking over."

"Admit it, Jerry, you're just resentful that she was able to make some progress when we couldn't. This is not a contest. We are all working together for a common goal."

"That's ridiculous, Jax."

"Is it? Face it, she got us what we needed. That is what we are paying her for. I suggest you learn to live with it because I expect this to be the first of many instances when Julia Barrett gives you a run for your money. We should be grateful that she is working for us rather than against us."

"Run for my money? You must be joking. She got lucky and she sweet talked Trudeau. Everyone knows the man can't resist anything in a skirt."

"Jerry, that's enough."

There was then a knock at the door and Julia walked into the office.

"Jax, here is the press kit for Atlantic."

"Thanks Julia. I just heard from Gary Trudeau. Nice work on the covenant issue."

"Thank you. I am happy that someone around here appreciates my efforts."

Jerry glared at her. "I didn't realize that your self esteem was so fragile that we needed to fall over backwards and congratulate you for every step you make. Do you want us to pass out gold stars?"

"Jerry Jacks, you are unbelievable. Your ego can't take any competition, can it? Haven't you ever heard the old saying, 'If you can't stand the heat then get out of the kitchen?'"

"Competition? You think you are competition? What a laugh."

Julia smiled smugly. "Yes, and the laugh is on you."

Jerry walked toward the door. "I have better use of my time than to listen to your inane comments."

"Yes, you should visit a sauna. You need to practice withstanding the heat."

Jerry walked out of the office leaving behind a grinning Jax and Julia.

The Jacks' Residence -- 3:00pm

Corrine showed Lucy into the foyer where Jane met her.

"Lucy, it is nice to see you again."

"Thank you Jane. How is that granddaughter of yours?"

"We think she is the most beautiful baby in the world but we aren't exactly impartial."

"I can't wait to see both the baby and Brenda."

"Brenda is looking forward to seeing you as well. You have spoken to Jax I understand."

"Yes, I have my instructions."

"Great. "I'll take you to Brenda."

Jane and Lucy went upstairs and found Brenda sitting on the sofa in the master suite.

"Lucy, how are you? How was your trip?"

"Great on both counts. I want to know how you and the baby are. How are things going?"

"We have had some rough patches but we are muddling through. She finally seems to be soundly sleeping for the first time since early this morning. She's in the bassinet. Come over here and take a look."

Brenda and Lucy walked over to the bassinet. "Brenda, she is adorable. Look at all that dark hair. She looks like she is going to have your olive complexion."

"I hope she has Jax's eyes. She has his dimples already."

"She is beautiful. I still can't believe the circumstances surrounding her birth. Kevin almost choked when he heard Jax's message about what happened."

"I guess Kevin will be giving more credence to your visions now. I certainly know I will be."

"Since I am on such a roll right now, I want to send some time with Jillian and see if any images come to me."

"I certainly would be interested in hearing about anything you see about her."

Lucy looked at her watch. "Brenda, this always work best if I am alone. I have an idea. Why don't you take some time to yourself now and I will sit here with the baby?"

"Lucy, you did not come here to baby-sit."

"Nonsense. I bet you haven't even had time to take a shower today."

"As a matter of fact, I haven't."

"Perfect. You go take a shower and relax and I will sit here with the baby. If she wakes up, I am sure I can find something to occupy our time together."

"Lucy."

"Brenda, just do it. Make yourself gorgeous. Jax will come home and find his beautiful wife and daughter and he'll wish he never left you this morning."

"Okay, you win. Just call me if you need me. I'll be out in a few minutes."

"Brenda, relax. Take your time. You deserve a few moments to yourself."

Brenda gathered up her clothes and walked into the bathroom. Lucy breathed a sigh of relief and then walked to the french doors leading to the balcony. The delivery truck was just entering the main gate of the estate. Lucy sighed as she thought to herself, "Jax, I cut it close but mission accomplished."

The Jacks' Residence -- 7:00pm

The house was quiet as Jax returned from the office. John and Jane had just left to have dinner out while Julia and Jerry had separate business meetings downtown this evening. Jose was making a special dinner for Jax and Brenda. Brenda was upstairs and had just finished feeding Jillian who was now sleeping. Jax walked upstairs and stood in the doorway of the bedroom. He watched as Brenda gently rocked the baby as she stood next to the bassinet. Brenda softly kissed both of Jillian's cheeks before placing her in the bassinet.

"Hello, beautiful."

Brenda looked up and smiled. "Hey, handsome."

Jax walked in and put his arms around Brenda. "God, I missed you today. I missed both of you."

"I know the feeling."

"So she finally settled down this afternoon?"

"Yes, I just hope she will be more satisfied when my milk comes in. Otherwise, we are in for some very long days and nights."

"She'll be fine. How was your visit with Lucy?"

"Good. She spent some time with Jillian but no visions came to her."

"Thank God for small favors."

"Jax, you know how much I love Lucy. She's just a little eccentric. She was great today. She stayed with Jillian so I could take a shower and throw myself together."

"Throw yourself together, don't be ridiculous. You look incredible." Jax kissed Brenda on the forehead. "Jose has prepared dinner. Do you want to eat up here or head downstairs?"

"Let's go downstairs for a while. I want the baby close by though."

"Okay. I'll unhook the basket from the bassinet and carry it downstairs and then come back to get you."

"You don't have to carry me."

"I insist. My two favorite ladies will get the same treatment. Besides, I never resist the opportunity to have you in my arms."

Jax carried the basket downstairs into the living room and then went back upstairs to get Brenda. He carried her into the dining room. The candlelit table was set for two. There was a vase of pink tulips as a centerpiece.

"Jax, what is all this? Where is everyone else?"

"I kicked them all out so you and I could spend the evening together."

"Honey, you are so wonderful."

"Selfish is what I am. I want to be alone with my wife."

Jax pulled out the chair for Brenda and then placed the baby monitor on the server behind her. Jax and Brenda then enjoyed a quiet dinner for two. They held hands throughout the evening. Jillian continued to peacefully sleep during dinner. Once dinner was over, they walked into the foyer toward the den. Corrine met them before they reached the staircase.

"Mr. Jacks, your father asked that I tell you that he left a package for you in the den."

"Thank you Corrine."

"Brenda, I'll go get the package and I'll meet you in the living room."

Brenda headed into the living room as Jax quietly followed behind her. As she entered the room, Brenda turned on the lights. She gasped at the sight before her eyes. There in the corner of the room was a baby grand piano carved from rosewood. Its keys were made from solid ivory and its bench was covered with rose colored satin to coordinate with the colors of the room. Affixed next to the handle on the piano's lid cover was a small 24 karat gold plaque engraved with the following: September 28, 1997 -- The day all our dreams came true. On top of the piano was a huge spray of pink tulips.

Brenda stood frozen before the incredible sight. No words would come. Tears rolled down her cheeks. Jax entered the living room and walked over to her. He stood behind her as he put his hands on her shoulders.

"Don't cry, sweetie. I want you to be happy."

Brenda turned around and wrapped her arms around him. She buried her head into his shoulder as her tears now became sobs. After a moment, she gained control of her emotions. "There are no words for the way I feel right now. You have done it, Jasper Jacks. You have filled my heart with so much love that it is overflowing. You have given me more joy in the past eighteen months than ten people combined have in a lifetime. You have shown me what it is like to hope and dream and every hope and dream of mine has been answered. Our daughter symbolizes the love, hope and joy that we share. You are the best thing that ever happened to me. You are my life."

Jax took her face in his hands. "Then it's perfect because you have given the exact same to me. Brenda, you complete me. Loving you is like breathing. Without it, there would be no me."

Their lips met in a lingering, tender kiss which sent rays of sunshine into the hearts of both Jax and Brenda. As their lips parted, Jillian began to cry.

"It sounds likes somebody is feeling neglected." Jax walked over to the basket and picked up the baby. "Hey there. Daddy and Mommy are here, Princess." Jillian stopped crying as Jax sat down on the couch with her.

Brenda placed the basket on the floor and sat down next to them. She leaned on Jax's shoulder. "Yes, Jillian. We are both here. You are never going to be alone, none of us are."

Friday, October 3, 1997
The Jack's Residence -- Noon

Lois and Brooke had arrived this morning for the weekend. They were staying at the gate house while Ned moved back into the main house for the period of their visit. Lois and Brenda had spent the past hour comparing notes about dealing with newborns. Brooke was crawling on the floor of the den while Lois held Jillian.

"It seems like yesterday that Brooke was this small. Now, look at her. I can't believe she is going to celebrate her first birthday in a few weeks."

"I can't believe it either, Lois. How close is she to walking?"

"Very. She is pulling herself up on every table and sofa in the house. It is just a matter of time now."

"I can't imagine Jillian at Brooke's age. I know how fast time is going to fly. It is still hard for me to believe that Jax and I have been married for more than sixteen months now."

"How is the doting father?"

"As perfect as ever. You should see him with the baby. He is just so loving and gentle with her. He calls her his little princess."

"Is he enjoying taking care of her?"

"Yes. He was so adorable when he gave her a bath last night. Now that my milk has come in and I finally figured out how to use that ridiculous breast pump, he will be able to feed her."

"It's great that she has both of you around her all the time."

Brenda noticed Lois' sad expression. "What is the situation with Ned?"

"We totally agree on Brooke and her upbringing. It's the rest of life that causes us problems."

"Lois, he misses you so much and I know how much you love him. You haven't filed for divorce. That means something."

"Brenda, you sound like Ma."

"I take that as quite a compliment, Lois Marie. You two have been spending more time together over the past few months."

"I know. Sometimes I think maybe it could work and then I'm not sure. I can't put Brooke through that."

"Lois, I'm only going to say one more thing about this. Follow your heart."

"Okay, new subject. How has everything been having Julia and the entire Jacks clan under the same roof for this long? Any battle scars yet between Julia and Jerry?"

"No, but they have come close to war at times. I don't know. Sometimes I get this feeling about them."

"What feeling?"

"The feeling that there are romantic undertones in their attitudes toward each other."

"You have got to be kidding? I thought they couldn't stand each other."

"They can't but that does not mean anything."

"I think your change in hormones is playing havoc with your thinking."

"Jax thinks I am completely nuts about this. I'm telling you there is something there. They just don't know it yet. One of these days, everyone will see it. It's just like Jerry and his attitude around the baby."

"What attitude?"

"He pretends to pay her no attention but I see the way he looks at her and responds to her when he thinks no one is looking. He has even nicknamed her."

Lois shook her head. "This ought to be good, let's hear it."

"Well, first of all he refers to her as a joey rather than a baby since that is what baby kangaroos are called. Then he calls her 'Roo' as a nickname for kangaroo. Jane tells me he has had a thing for kangaroos since he was a toddler."

"Roo. He is really nuts."

"Actually I think it's cute. Of course, he also refuses to hold her. He claims he has no interest but in reality I think she completely intimidates him."

"Jillian intimidating Jerry? What a concept!"

"Yes, a 7 pound, 4 ounce baby with such power. Who would have ever thought?"

J & J Jacks -- 3:00pm

Jax, Jerry, Julia and Scott were in the conference room discussing the strategy for Canadian Timber. The seats around the conference table were high-backed leather chairs with reclining backs. The chairs were on wheels and easily swiveled from side to side and back to front. Jerry was sitting next to the phone and intercom and Scott was sitting beside him. Julia and Jax sat across the table. Jerry was continually leaning back in his chair and swiveling it around in circles.

"Well, I think that is the best approach. Jerry will meet with them next week and send you the paperwork, Scott."

"I agree, Jax. It is very fortunate that the restrictive covenant issues has been resolved thanks to Julia."

Jerry rolled his eyes at Scott's remark. Julia noticed his expression and merely started to grin. "Thank you Scott. I will be tied up all next week with Atlantic but when I return to Port Charles the week after next, we can concentrate on the plan."

The intercom buzzed and Addie announced that Scott had a call from the accountant. "I need those numbers for the offering statement. I'll take it in my office, Addie." Scott then left the conference room.

"Julia, do you have everything you need for your trip to the regional offices next week?"

"Yes, Jax. The meeting agendas have been sent out and I have the preliminary third quarter financial statements from each office. I am just waiting for one more thing from the Boston office. Scott and I are having dinner tonight to review the numbers."

"Good. Once the final numbers are available we have got to move quickly. The next few weeks are going to be crucial."

"You are right. Once I get back, all the fun will start."

"Jerry, is there anything you need Julia to handle on Canadian Timber before she leaves?"

"No, I think she has done quite enough for now."

Julia was glaring at Jerry when the intercom again buzzed. Addie announced it was John for Jax. "I'll be right there, Addie." Jax got up from the table. "I have one more thing to discuss about Atlantic but I need to talk to Dad for a second about the reconstruction and the plans are in my office. I will be right back."

Jax walked out of the office as Jerry continued to spin his chair in circles. "Why do you insist on doing that? It is something a six year old would do."

"Does it bother you?"

"Yes, it does."

"Good!" Jerry then proceeded to spin the chair even faster. After a few moments, he was getting dizzy so he had to stop. He then leaned the chair back as far as it would go and put his feet on top the table.

"I know your mother taught you manners. Get your feet off this table."

"Did anyone ever tell you that you sound like an old school marm? I have a substantial interest in the company that owns this table so I will do whatever I want to it."

"My God. Now you really sound like a six year old."

"Better than you who sounds like a sixty year old."

The intercom then again buzzed and Jerry hit the speaker button. Addie informed Julia that the Boston regional office of Atlantic had the missing information for her when she was available to return the call. "Thanks Addie, I'll call Boston now since we are waiting for Jax."

"Jerry, would you pass me the phone?"

Jerry folded his arms. "Sorry but my six year old arms can't reach that far."

"You are such a barbarian."

Julia quickly got out of her chair and walked over to the other side of the table to reach the phone. The heel of her shoe caught the cord to the telephone line and she lost her balance. She fell forward right into Jerry's lap. Since Jerry was leaning back in the chair when Julia catapulted into his lap, the chair completely flipped over. They landed completely on top of one another. Jerry felt his heart beating faster as the scent of her perfume overtook his senses. Julia could not help but notice the muscles in his chest as she lay on top of him.

"Ms. Barrett, do you always throw yourself at men?"

"Shut up and let go of me."

Jax was walking back toward the conference room when he heard the crash. When he opened the door, he found Julia and Jerry sprawled on the floor together.

"Pardon me if I am interrupting something."

Julia got up and nervously ran her hands over her skirt and through her hair. "Don't be ridiculous, Jax."

Jerry stood up and put the chair back in its upright position. "Come on, Jax. Do you really think that I am that desperate?"

Julia stormed out of the conference room trying to regain her composure while at the same time trying to figure out why she was having hot flashes from her encounter.

The Jacks' Residence -- 8:00pm

John, Jane, Jax and Brenda had just finished dinner. Julia was still at her dinner meeting with Scott and Jerry was playing a game of racquetball with A.J. John and Jane were now upstairs while Brenda was in the den with a sleeping Jillian. Jax was on the phone in his private office with the Los Angeles division. Brenda checked on Jillian and then left the den to get something from the kitchen. Jerry came through the front door and then walked toward the back of the house. He entered the den and heard something from the bassinet. He walked over to it and saw Jillian starting to fuss.

"Hey Roo." Jillian then began to cry. "What's the problem? Stock market down today?" Jillian then began to scream at the top of her lungs. "Okay, that's enough of that."

Jillian continued to scream. Jerry was now completely uncomfortable with the situation. He looked into the hall and there was no one in sight. "Brenda..... Jax..... Mum." Still no relief from any of the troops and Jillian was still screaming. Jerry could not take it any longer and picked her up. He began nervously bouncing her up and down. "Okay, you're out of bassinet jail." Jillian's screams were now mere fussing. "Okay we'll walk like your Mommy does with you." Jerry walked back and forth across the room and Jillian stopped fussing.

Brenda heard the fussing and Jerry's voice as she entered the foyer. She tip-toed to the door of the den and silently watched the scene. Once Jillian stopped fussing, Jerry stopped and pulled the baby away from his shoulder so that he could see her face. Her eyes were now wide open. "Roo, you look like a mummy. What has your mother done to you? No wonder you were screaming. I don't get what this swaddling is all about."

Jax walked into the foyer and saw Brenda standing outside the door to the den. She put her finger in front of her lips to keep him quiet. They now were both listening to Jerry. "Are you okay now? You definitely inherited the Barrett big mouth. Geez. All that noise from such a little sheila. I pity your father when you get older and you and your mother corner him. He will never have a minute's peace. You will be fortunate if you inherit the beauty of the Barrett women though."

Jax and Brenda were having a hard time containing their laughter as they continued to listen. "I am your Uncle Jerry. I know I sound like your daddy but I am much better looking. You can see that I'm sure. Actually, I don't even know how much you can actually see now but anyway. When you get older, you and I will have to sit down to talk. There are some things that I, as your uncle, am obligated to tell you. The big issue is about men. Believe me, you can't trust most of them. If any man ever comes up to you and asks for your autograph because you must be a model, run the other way because he is a cad. Trust me, I know."

Jax couldn't take it any longer so he backed down the hall. Brenda followed him and then loudly spoke so that Jerry was aware of their impending entrance. Jerry quickly put Jillian back into the bassinet before Jax and Brenda entered the room.

"Jerry, I did not know you were home. Is Jillian awake?"

"I don't know, Brenda. You know that joeys and I don't mix."

"Of course, how could I forget?." Brenda walked over to the bassinet and smiled at Jillian.

"I have to go up and change. I will see you all later."

Brenda picked up the baby. "Okay Jerry. Jillian says good-bye."

Jerry left the room as Brenda sat on the couch. She and Jax started to laugh as soon as they knew Jerry is out of ear shot. "How long do you think he is going to try to keep up this charade?"

"Knowing my brother, quite some time."

Jillian then began to fuss again. "I know it's dinnertime, isn't it? I am going to give you to Daddy for a second and be right back."

Brenda handed the baby to Jax and walked out of the room. She returned a few minutes later with her hands behind her back. "Okay Jillian, are you ready to surprise Daddy now?"

"What are my two angels plotting?"

Brenda brought her hands in front of her and passed Jax a bottle. "Jillian wants her Daddy to feed her tonight."

Jax looked up at Brenda who smiled at him. "Yes, I finally figured out how to use that milking machine."

Jax took the bottle and then cradled Jillian in his arms. She immediately began screaming and sucking even before the nipple of the bottle met her mouth. "She is not very patient, is she?"

"That is an understatement. She also has quite a temper. You should have heard her this afternoon when I had to stop her from nursing to switch her from one breast to the other. She screamed bloody murder. Impatient and quick tempered -- there is certainly no denying that she is my daughter."

Jax held Jillian close and lovingly watched her. "Jillian Veronica, we would not trade you for anything in this world. Something tells me that you will have Daddy wrapped around your little finger just like your mother does."

Brenda snuggled up next to Jax. "I wouldn't expect anything less from my daughter."

Sunday, October 5, 1997
The Jacks' Residence -- 11:00am

John, Jane and Jerry were heading back to Alaska this afternoon while Julia was traveling to Boston this evening. Lois and Brooke were also leaving Port Charles today to return to Bensonhurst. Lois had called Brenda the night before to tell her that Brooke had taken her first step. It had been perfect since Ned was at the gate house when it happened so he was able to share it with Lois. Brenda could hear the joy in Lois' voice when Lois told her of Ned's reaction.

Jose was preparing an elaborate lunch for everyone so Brenda had invited Lois. Brenda decided to throw caution to the wind and told Lois that she and Jax wanted to include Ned in the invitation. Lois had not balked so Brenda quickly finished her call with Lois and then called Ned at the main house to extend the invitation. Brenda was pleased that he had accepted without hesitation.

Brenda looked down at the cradle in the nursery as she watched a sleeping Jillian. It had been one week since she had entered their lives. Brenda turned on the baby monitor and went into the master bedroom to express her milk so that Jax could give Jillian her evening feeding. Brenda was thrilled that Jax and Jillian were so comfortable with each other. They were all looking forward to next week when Jax was taking time away from the office so that they could all spend a few days together. After Brenda had filled the bottle, she went downstairs to the kitchen. Jane and Julia was sitting at the table drinking coffee as she entered the room.

"Did Jillian go down okay?"

"Yes, Jane. She is sleeping soundly."

Brenda put the breast pump on the counter while she put the bottle into the refrigerator. Jerry then walked into the kitchen.

"Mum, where's Dad?"

"He's taking a walk around the grounds. It is such a beautiful day and Alaska will be much colder when we return this evening."

Jerry walked over to the counter and picked up the breast pump. "What the hell is this? It looks like a combination circus horn and suction cup."

Brenda shook her head. "It's a breast pump, Jerry."

"You have got to be kidding?" So this is how you have become a dairy queen." Jerry looked at the pump and then at Brenda. "Brenda, there is no way that this thing could fit on your breasts."

Julia choked on her coffee as Jane gave Jerry a look of complete exasperation. "Jeremiah Jacks, what has gotten into you."

"Mum, I mean nothing insulting to Brenda. In fact, the opposite is true. Her new figure is most attractive. I just don't understand how this thing is adequate for her new assets."

Brenda thought this whole conversation was quite ridiculous. Typical Jerry. She took the breast pump from Jerry. "Trust me Jerry, this works just fine."

Julia was aghast at Jerry's remarks. "I don't believe you just said those things to Brenda. She is your sister-in-law for heaven's sake. Her figure is not your concern."

"No one said it was. Yes, she is my sister-in-law but I am not blind or dead. I do notice beautiful women and your sister happens to fall into that category, so sue me."

"I'd like to do more than that you, pig. You have got to be the most insolent man I know."

"You haven't lived yet then. No wonder you are such a pain in the ass."

Brenda decided to put an end to all of this. "Okay that's enough, everyone return to their corners. This subject is now off limits. Ned and Lois are going to be here soon. Let's try to spend our last few hours together in some semblance of a family unit."

Jane stood up. "My sentiments exactly. Brenda, why don't we go up and check on Jillian?"

"Jane, what a good idea." She then looked at Jerry and Julia. "We will be back and we don't expect to hear another civil war down here once we leave."

One Brenda and Jane left the kitchen, Julia and Jerry glared at one another before eventually leaving the kitchen through separate doors.

The Jacks' Residence -- 2:00pm

Lunch was now over and Brenda and Lois were in the nursery changing Jillian while Jane and Julia were in their rooms completing their packing. Jerry and John were on the terrace while Jax and Ned were in the den with Brooke. She was walking around the coffee table now.

Jax watched Brooke in amazement. "I can't believe what she is doing today as compared to yesterday. It is amazing."

"I know. I am so happy that I was around to watch her take her first steps." Ned paused for a moment as Brooke clapped her hands together and laughed. "Jax, do you know how fortunate you are to have your daughter with you all the time?"

Jax looked over at Ned. His heart broke for him. Even though he and Ned were bitter business rivals, Jax could not imagine what he was going through being separated from his daughter. Jax knew he would be empty without Brenda and Jillian. "Ned, believe me when I say that I realize how fortunate I am. I honestly hope that you and Lois and Brooke can be together again soon."

"Jax, thank you. Hell, if you have any advice on how I can accomplish that, I would be willing to consider it."

"All I can tell you is that it is all worth fighting for. Don't give up whatever you do. Patience may be your best ally."

"Thanks. I will try to keep that in mind."

Meanwhile, Brenda had just finished changing Jillian. "Lo, tell me what is going on?"

"I don't know. It is so hard to leave. It is so difficult to take Brooke away from her father."

"You don't have to do it."

"Yes, I do. I'm afraid it would be even more difficult to stay."

"Lois, you are the most courageous woman I know. I think it is time to prove that yourself again."

"Brenda, I can't stay."

"I'm not saying that you should. All I want you to do is not shut Ned out. Don't close off your heart. It would be totally unfair to Brooke, to Ned and especially to you. Take all the time you need. The answer will come."

"When did you get so insightful?"

"It's a side effect of being loved and feeling worthy of it."

"Thanks for the advice. Before I head back to Brooklyn, I just want to tell you that I am so happy for you. I am overjoyed that you have found everything you always wanted. No one deserves it more than you do. Treasure it, girlfriend. Treasure it always."

Lois hugged Brenda as tears ran down both women's cheeks. "I will, Lois. I promise I will."

A little while later, Lois and Ned said their good-byes to everyone. Lois and Brooke would be back in town at the end of the month for Brooke's first birthday. Jax and Brenda had planned Jillian's christening for the same weekend. After the Ashtons departed, Jax and Brenda were in the den talking.

"Brenda, are you sure you want to do this?"

"Positive."

"Do you think they will even get through the christening without an incident? I can just see the headlines now."

"I am not going to change my mind. It will all work out."

"Famous last words. All right, I will go get them."

Brenda picked up a fussy Jillian from the bassinet and was rocking her in the rocking chair when Jax returned with Julia and Jerry. Jax stood next to Brenda as Julia and Jerry sat on the sofa.

Brenda spoke. "Jax asked you both to come in here because we have a request of both of you. We would be honored as would Jillian if you would agree to be her godparents."

Both Julia and Jerry sat there in stunned silence. Julia finally spoke. "Brenda and Jax, I don't know what to say."

"All you have to do is say yes, Julia."

"Yes, of course. I would be honored."

Jax spoke up. "That leaves you, brother. What do you have to say about this?"

"I think you two are out of your bloomin' minds but I would consider it a privilege."

Brenda grinned. "Glad to see you have so much confidence in our judgment, Jerry."

"Don't mention it. We will just have to see what Roo says about this when she is old enough to realize what you have done to her."

Brenda looked down at Jillian. "Great. Do you hear that Jillian? You have godparents. Everybody mark October 26th on their calendars."

Julia stood up and hugged Jax and Brenda. "Thank you both."

Jerry then stood up. "I concur."

"You are both very welcome."

The Jacks' Residence -- 9:00pm

Earlier that evening, John, Jane and Jerry had left on one of the Jacks' jets for Alaska while Julia had taken the shuttle to Boston. Jane was very sad to be leaving Jillian but knew that they would all return in three weeks for the christening. She asked Jillian not to grow too much before she returned from Alaska. Brenda promised to send pictures each week. Brenda was very pleased that Jerry seemed so happy at the prospect of being Jillian's godfather. Julia was also very pleased.

The house was quiet for the first time in weeks. Lois had called to tell Brenda that she and Brooke had arrived safely back in Bensonhurst. Lois joined in Brenda's happiness about Julia and Jerry's reaction to the godparent news.

Brenda was just finishing her shower as Jax fed Jillian. As Jax was feeding the baby, he could not help but think back to his conversation with Ned. Jax hugged Jillian tightly in his arms and whispered to her as Brenda silently appeared at the bathroom door.

"Daddy's here and he always will be. Daddy loves you and your mommy so much and we all are going to have such a wonderful life together. I promise that whatever happens we will always be a family."

Brenda leaned against the door and raised her eyes to the heavens in total appreciation of the miracles that had been bestowed upon her and her daughter. Jax was a true gift to both of them.

Jax put Jillian in the bassinet and Brenda walked out of the bathroom.

"She's asleep. I suggest you get in bed and try to get to sleep yourself."

Jax helped Brenda into bed and then quickly got undressed before joining her.

Brenda noticed how quiet Jax was. "Are you okay?"

"Yes. I was just thinking about Ned and Lois and how difficult this is for both of them."

"It really makes you realize how much we have."

"Brenda, believe me, I know how much I have. I treasure every moment with you and our daughter."

"I know darling. We are going to have such a wonderful life together."

Friday, October 10, 1997
The Jacks' Residence -- Noon

The past few days had flown by. Jax had spent every day but Wednesday at home with Brenda and the baby. On Wednesday while Jax attended some union negotiation meetings, Brenda had enjoyed a visit from Laura and Lesley Lu. Lesley Lu was enthralled with Jillian but Laura told her that a little sister or brother was not in the cards for her, the Spencer family was complete.

Dr. Meadows had warned her and Laura and Felicia had confirmed to Brenda that she would probably feel worse before she felt better. Yesterday had been one of those days. Since Jax had been home for the day, at least the timing was perfect. Jax had spent most of the day with Jillian. Since the weather was mild for early October, he had taken her for her first stroll through the gardens. Fortunately, Brenda was feeling better today. She and Jax were in the nursery with Jillian. Brenda had just finished dressing Jillian while Jax snapped a few photos of the baby.

"Sweetie, how are you feeling this morning?"

"Much better. You were incredible with her yesterday."

"She is so amazing. I love the way she curls her toes around your fingers when you tickle the bottom of her feet."

Brenda looked down at Jillian who was lying on the changing table. "I still can't believe that we created something this special."

"The power of love is quite phenomenal."

"It sure is." Brenda picked Jillian up and put the baby over her shoulder.

"Mrs. Jacks, do you think you are up for a ride in the car?"

"You mean as in actually venturing outside this house? What do you have in mind?"

"It is such a beautiful day, I thought we could introduce Jillian to Port Charles and get you some fresh air."

"That sounds perfect."

Brenda handed Jillian to Jax and packed the diaper bag. She grabbed an extra blanket and the carrier to the car seat. Jax then fastened Jillian into the carrier and took it downstairs as Brenda went to the bedroom to quickly change her shirt. She went into the kitchen and grabbed a bottle from the refrigerator and then met Jax in the foyer.

"Are we ready?"

"Yes, the stroller is in the car." Jax picked up the car seat carrier with one hand and took Brenda's hand in the other. "Shall we go, my Lady?"

"Lead the way, sweet prince."

Corrine opened the door for them and they walked out into the October sunshine and their adventure.

Port Charles Park -- 2:00pm

It was a gorgeous, warm sunny afternoon. The leaves were at their peak Autumn colors and the birds were singing as if it were springtime. The sound of children's laughter could be heard as Jax and Brenda strolled Jillian through the park.

Brenda stepped in front of the stroller to check on Jillian. "She's asleep."

"There is a free bench. Sit down and I'll get us something to eat."

Brenda pushed the stroller over to the bench and sat down. Jax went to the vendor and bought hot dogs and drinks and then walked back to the bench.

"Lunch is served." Jax passed Brenda a hot dog with mustard as he began to eat his chili dog.

"You are tormenting me with that chili dog."

"I'm sorry. Do you want to share?"

"No. As much as I'd love it, Jillian wouldn't."

Jax's face registered a huge grin and then he kissed Brenda softly on the cheek.

"What was that for?"

"For once again putting the needs of our daughter ahead of your own. I love you so much."

"I love you too."

Jax and Brenda finished their lunch as Jillian continued to sleep. Jax got up to throw the trash away as Emily rounded the corner on her roller blades. An unleashed dog darted out in front of her causing her to lose control. Emily screamed as she zoomed toward Jax who grabbed her before she lost her balance.

"Whoa! Emily, nice of you to stop by. Do you know what the speed limit is in this area?"

Brenda got up from the bench as she saw the collision. "Emily, are you okay?"

Emily was blushing as Jax continued to hold her in his arms. "Brenda, I am fine. I am so sorry about this, Jax."

Jax smiled down at Emily as he released her from his arms. "There is nothing to be sorry about. I am just glad I could catch you before you and the pavement did battle. Unfortunately, the pavement generally is victorious."

"Thank you again, Jax." Emily was trying to calm her racing heart. "How is Jillian?"

"Come see for yourself." Jax took Emily's hand and walked over to the stroller. "Here she is. What do you think?"

"She is beautiful."

"Thank you. That means a lot coming from such a beautiful lady like yourself."

Brenda watched as Emily blushed and looked down at the ground. "Well, I had better get home. I will see you all later."

Jax gave Emily a big grin. "Be careful Emily. Take care."

Jax sat back down on the bench as Brenda smiled and shook her head. "What are you grinning about, Mrs. Jacks?"

"You. What a heart breaker. I see that no female is immune from your charm."

"What are you saying?"

"Come on Jax. Didn't you notice how Emily was looking at you? Didn't you hear that nervous laughter? I first noticed her behavior around you when we were at Quartermaines a few weeks ago. She has obviously developed quite a crush on you."

"Are you jealous, Mrs. Jacks?"

"I think I can handle it. I mean who could blame her? She has great taste in men."

The Jacks' Residence -- 9:00pm

Jax was undressing Jillian as Brenda filled the plastic tub with water. She tested the water and then Jax unwrapped Jillian from the towel and put her into the water. Jax supported Jillian in the tub and talked to her as Brenda washed her. Jillian began thrashing her arms and legs splashing water everywhere.

"Hey, what do you think you are doing? Mommy is going to take her own bath."

Jillian began to splash the water more vigorously. Now Jax was also in the splash zone. "Young lady, are you going to be a troublemaker?"

Jillian splashed some more as Brenda laughed. "I guess that answers that question."

"Great. You would have to be just like your mother in that regard."

"Hey. That's enough."

"Brenda, the truth hurts."

"Jillian, let's get Daddy." Brenda began splashing Jax as Jillian continue to thrash around.

"Ganging up on me already."

"Well, at least you know where you stand."

Brenda finished bathing the baby and Jax dressed her for bed. Jax then gave Jillian her bottle as Brenda relaxed in the bathtub. Jillian finished her bottle and fell asleep. Jax put her in the bassinet and then got dressed for bed. Brenda came out of the bathroom and walked over the bassinet.

"Sweet dreams, angel." Brenda kissed her finger and lowered it to lightly touch Jillian's forehead. She then got into bed. Jax, wearing black silk pajama bottoms, joined her. He pulled her into his arms and she laid her head on his chest.

"Are you tired after our little excursion?"

"Yes, but it was worth it."

"How was the bath?"

"Very relaxing. Of course it could have been better if you had shared it with me."

"Sorry, but my willpower is not that strong. I am but a mere mortal."

"I know the feeling. I miss you. I miss us."

"So do I. This won't last forever. In the meantime, I will have to tolerate cold showers."

Brenda looked up at Jax. "Just don't get too used to them."

Jax laughed. "Not a chance." He kissed Brenda softly on the lips.

Brenda laid her head back on Jax's chest as he stroked her hair. They fell asleep to the sound of each other's heartbeats.

Saturday, October 18, 1997
The Jacks' Residence -- 11:00am

The past week had been strained, hectic and difficult. Everything was happening at once for Jax, Scott and Julia in connection with both the Atlantic and Canadian Timber deals. They had suffered through a entire week of twelve hour days at the office. Julia still had to find the time to look for a place to live in Port Charles. She did not want to impose on Jax and Brenda any longer than necessary. On the homefront, any semblance of a sleeping/eating pattern that Jillian had once had was now out the window. Two days during the week, she refused to sleep at all during the day. Brenda was trying to organize the christening party for next weekend but Jillian was not being very cooperative. Between both of their schedules and Jillian's lack of one, Jax and Brenda felt as if they had been two ships passing in the night. Now the weekend was here and everyone was trying to recover from their exhausting week. Jillian had actually slept for five hours during the night so they had been able to get some rest last night. Jillian was now in her cradle taking her morning nap.

Brenda made a final check of her list and put the note pad on the coffee table. She kicked off her sandals, laid down on the couch and closed her eyes as Jax came into the den. He lifted up her legs and sat at the other end of the couch with her feet in his lap. He began to massage her feet.

Brenda opened her eyes. "Do I know you?"

"I'm not sure. You do look vaguely familiar to me."

"I'm sorry your week was so stressful. I know how much effort you all have put into this deal."

"It's all part of the game. I am just sorry that it has forced me to be away from you and the baby so much. I know you did not have an easy week yourself."

"We all got through it. She seems to be back on somewhat of a schedule again so I am keeping my fingers crossed."

"What can I do to help you with the arrangements for the party?"

"I think we have everything under control. Ruby came over yesterday and we finished the lists. Take a look and see if anything is missing. The invitations are all out."

Jax looked over the lists. "It looks like you have covered all the bases. Do you think we will have a full house?"

"I think that is a good possibility. Besides our families and friends from here, Robin will be here as will the entire Cerrullo family. Have you heard from the European contingent?"

"Yes, everyone is planning to attend. Addie has booked a block of rooms at the Port Charles Hotel."

"Jillian Veronica is in for quite a day. Actually it will be quite a weekend with Brooke's birthday party at the Quartermaines on Saturday."

Julia and Jax were going to spend a few hours this afternoon working on the Atlantic transaction. She walked through the hallway to look for him and heard Jax and Brenda's voices.

"I'm sure next week will be as hectic as this one was and then next weekend will be bedlam. I guess one of these days you and I can get some time to ourselves."

Brenda laughed. "Yes, according to Laura, maybe in about three months. At least we have photos of each other to remember what we look like."

"Small comfort. Well, I have to look over some financials before Julia and I review the business plan for Atlantic this afternoon."

Brenda sat up. "I know. I have to call Father Baccio. Jillian should be awake at any minute so I had better get to it. The caterer will be here this afternoon to review the details for Sunday. Give me a kiss so I will have something to get me through today."

Jax grinned at her. "It's a dirty job but somebody has to do it."

As Jax and Brenda shared a tender kiss, Julia stood outside the door to the den and thought for a moment. She turned around and went upstairs to make two phone calls.

The Jacks' Residence -- 4:30pm

Brenda had finished meeting with the caterer. Lila was using the same caterer for Brooke's party. Since many of the guests would be attending both events, the menus were coordinated so that they did not duplicate each other. The guest list for the christening party was large so the party was to be held outdoors. A tent would be set up to protect against any potential weather problems.

Jax and Brenda were thrilled that Father Baccio from St. Vincent's had agreed to travel from Bensonhurst to perform the ceremony. It only seemed appropriate since he had performed the wedding ceremony on the day that they had found out that Jillian was on the way. Even though both Jax and Brenda knew that their actual wedding ceremony had taken place on the yacht, the renewal of their vows in Bensonhurst would always hold a special place in their hearts.

The baptism was taking place at St. Cecilia's in Port Charles. Fortunately, Father Baccio was a friend of the pastor there so it was not a problem for him to get use of the church for the ceremony. Augustin was going to sing at the ceremony. When Julia returned from her business trip, she had arranged for a trunk from the old Barrett house to be sent to J & J Jacks hoping that it contained what she hoped. The trunk had arrived yesterday and her hopes were answered when she found the christening gown that Brenda had worn. Julia had only told Brenda that as part of her gift to Jillian, she would be obtaining a christening gown for the baby.

Jax and Julia had finished their review of the Atlantic business plan. They walked upstairs to check on Brenda and Jillian. Brenda was coming out the nursery as they entered the hallway.

"Is she sleeping?"

"Yes, she ate about an hour ago so if we are lucky she will sleep for about two hours before she wakes up to eat again."

"That's perfect. It will give you enough to time to get ready before you feed her."

Brenda gave Julia a confused look. "Get ready for what?"

"Your night out."

Brenda looked at Jax who seemed just as confused as she did. "You have lost me here."

Jax looked at Julia. "You have lost me as well."

"It is high time that the two of you spend some time alone together. Tonight you will."

"Julia, what are saying?"

"You have reservations at Luke's tonight for 8:00pm with front row seats for the Kenny G performance there later this evening."

"We can't go out."

"Don't worry about Jillian. I am going to spend the evening with my niece. Before you start to panic, I have spoken to Ruby and she will be on call to come over if I need reinforcements."

"I don't know, Julia. It is a very generous offer but..."

Jax interrupted her. "We would not dream of turning you down. We really appreciate this."

"You are most welcome. I will leave you two alone now."

Jax led Brenda into the bedroom. "Jax, she's only three weeks old."

"I know, sweetie, but Julia will be with her. You will only be away from her for a few hours."

"You're right. I'm sorry. It will be wonderful to have some time for just us."

"I'll have my phone and we can be back her in minutes if Julia needs us. Now why don't you go relax and take a long hot bath and start of get ready. You can feed Jillian before we leave and hopefully she will sleep while Julia is in charge."

Brenda kissed Jax on the nose. "Okay, I will go get beautiful for you. It will be a special evening for us."

"Any time we are together is special."

Luke's Club -- 8:00pm

Jillian had cooperated and awakened in time for Brenda to feed her before they had to leave for the Club. Jillian had not fallen back to sleep after being fed but Brenda hoped Julia would be able to get her to sleep shortly. When Brenda kissed Jillian good-bye, tears welled up in the corners of her eyes but she was able to compose herself before Jax noticed. She didn't want him to worry about her this evening.

The Club was bustling with activity as they arrived. Mike had been able to make some last minute seating adjustments after Julia's call for reservations so that Jax and Brenda had a prime seating location for the show. Brenda looked beautiful in a black dress with cris-cross straps in the back and a plunging neckline in the front. The dress flared out at the waist which concealed the last remnants of Brenda's weight gain from the pregnancy. It was almost impossible to tell that Brenda had just given birth less than three weeks before.

Luke met them at the door. "Welcome! You two picked a great night to join us. We are promising a great evening of entertainment."

"We are looking forward to it."

"Here is the best seat in the house for the parents of Port Charles' newest resident. Congratulations! Lulu can't stop talking about the baby -- or "beebee" as she calls her. Enjoy the show."

"Thank you Luke."

Mike took a break from behind the bar and walked over to the table. "Hey, it is great to see you."

"Hi Mike. Now, I should be upset with you for not coming to see us at the house yet. When you saw us in the hospital, you promised to come visit."

"I'm sorry. Things have been crazy. I will be there next Sunday for the party. In the meantime, I don't suppose you have any recent photos?"

Jax took out his wallet. "Funny you should mention that. I do have a few." Jax passed Mike the photos.

"She is even more gorgeous than she was when I saw her at the hospital. This one is definitely going to have to be locked up away from the boys."

Brenda laughed. "Jax has already said that she won't be able to date until she is thirty."

Mike returned to the bar and Kevin and Lucy walked over to the table.

"It is great to see you two. How is Jillian?"

"She is good. Aunt Julia is with her now."

"Brenda, you look fabulous. I don't believe you had a baby a few weeks ago."

"Thank you Lucy. She did not seem to believe me when I told her the same thing."

"Thank you both for the compliment. Kevin, how are you? How is the book coming along?"

"I am fine Brenda and the book is slowly coming along."

Jax grinned. "It wouldn't happen to be a book on visions would it?"

"Very funny. Lucy is never going to let me hear the end of it about her prediction concerning Jillian's birth. I am going to have to have a talk with your daughter about her entrance into the world one of these days."

"Doc, stop it. You did not have faith and you are now paying the price. You can't blame that on Jillian."

Lucy and Kevin went back to their table and Jax and Brenda ordered dinner. As they were waiting for their food to arrive, Jax noticed Brenda checking her watch. He pulled the phone out of his jacket pocket.

"Here, call Julia and check on the baby."

Brenda smiled at him. "Why do you have to be so smart, mister?"

Brenda called home and spoke to Julia. She turned off the phone and handed it back to Jax. "She's asleep. Julia was able to rock her to sleep a few minutes ago."

"Do you feel better?"

Brenda covered Jax's hand with hers. "Yes, thank you. Now I can spend the rest of the evening savoring this time with my handsome husband."

"I think I can live with that."

Brenda went to the ladies room and Justus went over to talk to Jax at the table. At the same time Sonny came into the Club.

"Luke, sorry I am late. How is everything?"

"Don't sweat it. The evening has not even started yet. As you can see, the place is jumpin' already."

"Let me just throw some things into the office and I'll be right out."

Sonny walked back into the office and threw his keys on the desk and hung up his coat. As he left the office, Brenda walked out of the ladies room and met him in the hallway.

"Hi Sonny."

"Brenda. I didn't realize you were going to be here tonight."

"It wasn't planned but Julia decided to surprise us with a night out. She is taking care of the baby."

"That was very nice of her. How is Jillian?"

"Adorable but what else would you expect me to say?"

Sonny smiled. "Not much. I got your invitation for the christening party."

"I hope we can expect you."

"I'm not sure about my schedule."

"Please stop by if it is at all possible. I have to get back to Jax."

"Enjoy your evening."

"Thanks, we plan to."

Brenda joined Jax back at the table and dinner was served. Shortly thereafter, Luke announced Kenny G's entrance and the performance began. Ninety minutes later amidst a sea of cheers and to a standing ovation, Kenny G ended the show with "Havana."

The Jacks' Residence -- 11:30pm

Jax and Brenda returned home to find Julia rocking Jillian in the rocking chair in the den.

"Here's Mommy and Daddy. I told you they would be back."

Brenda almost ran over to the rocking chair and Julia handed Jillian to her. "Hey, precious. Mommy's here."

Jillian stared into Brenda's face and then lowered her head into Brenda's neck and snuggled there as if the world was now perfect. As Brenda's face lit up, Jax heard his heart sing.

Jax walked over to Brenda and put his arm on her shoulder. "Julia, thank you for everything."

"My pleasure. She really was an angel."

Jax and Brenda took the baby upstairs. Brenda quickly got dressed for bed as Jax played with Jillian. Brenda then got into bed and began nursing the baby as Jax got changed. Jillian fell asleep and Brenda whispered to her. "Mommy and Daddy missed you tonight. We're here with you now though. Night-night, angel. We love you so much."

Brenda handed Jillian to Jax to put into the bassinet. Jax held the baby in his arms for a few moments. "I am sorry that Daddy missed his time with you tonight. I know Aunt Julia took good care of you. Good night, princess. Sweet dreams."

As he placed Jillian in the bassinet, Jax looked over at Brenda and saw that she was asleep. "Sweet dreams for all of us."

Saturday, October 25, 1997
The Jacks' Residence -- Noon

Brenda had finished dressing Jillian for Brooke's birthday party. The baby was wearing a pink two piece lace outfit that Lila had given her. Brenda was dressed in a bright red pantsuit with an ivory silk sleeveless top. She had been exercising over the few two weeks and was finally beginning to fit back into her pre-pregnancy wardrobe. Her hair was pulled back with mother-of-pearl combs.

John and Jane were due into town later this afternoon. Jerry had arrived at the house a few minutes ago. Jerry and Jax walked into the master bedroom as Brenda was fixing her make-up. Jillian was in the infant seat which was sitting on the bed. Jerry walked over to the baby.

"Hey Roo! Look at all that pink lace. Brenda, everyone knows she is a girl. You don't have to dress her up like a ballerina."

Brenda turned around and gave Jerry a look of disgust. "Listen, mister. Your duties of godfather do not include acting as the fashion police."

Jax chuckled. "Thank heavens. Look at what he is wearing now."

"This happens to be the latest fashion craze in Bangkok."

Jax slapped Jerry on the back. "I guess that would be of significance if we were in Bangkok but since we are not ..."

Brenda finished the sentence. "...you look like a camel herder."

Brenda and Jax laughed as Jerry shook his head and spoke to Jillian. "I pity you having to tolerate these two as parents. They obviously have no sense of style."

Jax was amused. "Style? Oh, that's what you call it."

Brenda decided to change the subject. "Jerry, are you joining us at the Quartermaines for Brooke's party?"

"Yes. Jax and I never pass up an opportunity to get under Grandpa Eddie's skin."

Jax added. "Especially in his own backyard."

Brenda watched as both Jax brothers were smirking. "You two boys enjoy your fun. Just don't create a scene which disrupts the entire party."

Jerry put his hand to his heart and tries to look wounded. "Would we ever do anything like that?"

Brenda rolled her eyes as she finished putting on her make-up.

"I haven't heard any cackling since I arrived. I guess the wicked witch isn't here."

Brenda turned around again and looked at Jax. "What do you think about asking Scott or Ned to be Jillian's godfather?"

"I am sure either one would do an admirable job."

At that moment, Jillian starting crying and Jerry looked at both Jax and Brenda. "Look what you two are doing to the joey with all this talk of another godfather. You have upset her."

Brenda walked over and picked up the baby. "Those cries were choruses of support for our judgment." Brenda looked at Jillian. "What do you think? Should we go with our original choice? Do you think Uncle Jerry can learn how to behave himself?"

"I will behave myself around Julia from now on." Brenda looked at him suspiciously. "Okay, I will behave myself until after the ceremony."

Brenda and Jax both laughed. "All right. Jillian, I guess we will take our chance on Uncle Jerry."

Jax took the baby from Brenda. "Brenda, where is Julia?"

"She is shopping and is going to meet us directly at the party. She is picking up Jillian's gown for tomorrow. I have no idea what the big secret is about this. I am just relieved that we will have the dress today, I was starting to worry about it."

"You know Julia. I am sure she just had to ensure that everything was perfect."

"You're right. What time are your parents due to arrive?"

"They should be in town before dinner. The European contingent is also due to arrive this evening. They are going straight to the hotel and won't see us until tomorrow at the brunch."

"It will be so wonderful to see everyone again."

"It most certainly will." Jax glanced down at his watch. "Are you two lovely ladies ready to be escorted to the soiree?"

"Yes, we are. It's party time, Jillian."

The Quartermaine Residence -- 2:00pm

The party was in full swing. There were balloons and streamers everywhere and Chuckles the Clown was mingling among the guests making balloons into animal shapes. Tommy and Maxie were taking Georgie around while Lucky was leading Lulu through the crowd. Chuckles had stopped to speak with Serena and Lucy. He was trying to make a balloon to resemble Sigmund but was having quite a time with it. Lucy kept telling him that the beak was wrong.

Lois and Brenda were talking while Ned gave Brooke airplane rides. Julia was showing off Jillian to Lila. Robin and Jason arrived and Robin made a quick beeline to Brenda and Lois.

"It is so good to see you both. Lois, I can't believe that Brooke is a year old already. Brenda, I don't believe how great you look. You look just as thin as you did before the pregnancy."

"Doesn't she? This woman is really too much."

"You both are too kind."

"I saw Jillian with Julia. She is so cute. I can't wait to see her tomorrow. Is everything all set for the christening?"

"Yes, I hope so. The weather is supposed to be beautiful so that is a plus."

"It is great that both of your parties were the same weekend. A two-for-one deal."

Jax and Jerry were standing in the corner of the room talking when Edward walked by. Jerry began loudly whispering to set off Edward's paranoia.

"Now, wait one blasted minute you, Jacks vultures. You think you are clever but you are sorely mistaken. I know you are just waiting with bated breath before you make a run at ELQ. Whatever your plan is, it will fail."

Jax chuckled. "Edward, why would you think we would want ELQ?"

"I guess I am supposed to forget the first attempt at it. You are priceless, Jax."

"Thanks for the compliment. My wife says the same thing about me all the time."

"That wife of yours, I thought she had some common sense. I can't believe she chose to be saddled with a traitor like you."

"It's my dimples. I understand they are irresistible."

Jerry decided it was his turn to join the ruckus. "Come on, Grandpa Eddie. Why would we want a nothing company like ELQ?"

"Listen here you. ravager, I am on to you."

"Oh, I am shaking here. Do you want to feel my trembling hands?"

"Get away from me."

"Grandpa Eddie, if I didn't know better I would think that you disliked me."

"I can't believe I even permitted you two to be in my house. I am going to have to speak to Lois Marie about her choice in guests. I will have to have Reginald check your pockets before you vacate the premises."

"That won't be necessary, Grandpa Eddie." Jerry winked at him. "We only want ELQ remember."

Edward threw up his hands. "Get out of my way both of you."

Brenda looked over her shoulder as Edward bellowed. She slyly smiled to herself as she saw the exchange of satisfied nods between Jax and Jerry.

Jax joined Brenda as Gloria walked over to them with Jillian in her arms. "Now that Brooke is no longer a baby, I think I will just have to take this little one back with me to Brooklyn."

"Sorry Gloria, but she is not available."

Gloria handed the baby to Brenda. "I figured as much. She is even more darling than the photos you sent us."

"Let's just hope she behaves like a little darling tomorrow."

"Don't worry about it. Tomorrow is her day. Father Baccio has a way with babies so I am sure she will be a perfect angel."

"We are so happy that he is available for the ceremony. We will never forget how wonderful he was when we renewed our vows."

"He says he feels privileged to have witnessed such an event. He saw how much you meant to one another. You married yourselves, he was there just as a bystander."

Brenda looked over at Ned and Lois who were standing with Brooke as Chuckles performed a balloon trick for her. "I just wish that all couples that were meant to be were actually still together."

"I know how much you want them back together but Lois Marie is scared to death. She won't let herself risk the chance of being hurt."

"I'm just afraid she is completely shutting herself off."

"No. Even if she wanted to, she could not. Ned means way too much to her. I am hoping that one day soon she will be ready to open up her heart again."

"I can only hope."

It was time for the birthday cake and everyone sang as Ned and Lois helped Brooke blow out the candle. Brooke clapped for herself as the song ended and everyone laughed. The rest of the afternoon was filled with more fun and games as well as a plethora of gifts. Brooke definitely reaped the rewards of the afternoon. She garnered enough new toys to open a toy shop. As the party ended, everyone said good-bye until tomorrow when they would again be together, this time for Jillian's christening.

The Jacks' Residence -- 7:00pm

Brenda heard the limousine pull into the driveway as she finished dressing Jillian.

"Angel, Grandma and Grandpa are here. Let me take a look at you to be sure that you look perfect."

Jillian gurgled and opened her mouth as Brenda inspects her. "Perfect. Okay, are we ready?"

Jax greeted John and Jane at the door as Virgil brought in their bags. "Hello Mum, and Dad."

"Hello, dear. Where is my granddaughter?"

Jerry walked into the foyer as Brenda appeared at the top of the stairs. "Here she is."

Jane met Brenda half way up the stairs. "Come here, darling. Look how much you have grown. Grandma missed you so much."

Jerry looked at Jax. "I see how low we rank now in Mum's eyes."

John shook his head at Jerry. "You are wrong, Jerry. Jax was responsible for giving your mother Jillian so it is only you that ranks so low in your mother's eyes."

Jane and Brenda walked down the steps "Pa, that's enough."

John walked over to Brenda. "My dear, you are too lovely for words."

"Thank you. Well, what do you think of your granddaughter?"

Jane handed the baby to John who brought her face to his. "Hello, little Jillian. How has life been treating you? It won't be too long now before I can start to teach you the finer points of playing Jacks' Hit."

"Dad, let's give her a few months before that happens."

"She is so beautiful and she seems so happy."

"She is Mum. She is like a ray of sunshine."

John and Jane went upstairs to freshen up and then dinner was served. As Jerry had promised, he was on his best behavior around Julia. After dinner, Jillian started to fuss. Brenda went into the kitchen to get the bottle from the refrigerator. Jax decided to give up his nightly routine with Jillian in order to allow Jane to share this time with the baby.

Jane was in the den talking to John and Julia when Jax and Brenda walked in with a fussing Jillian.

"What's the matter, love? Is it past your dinnertime?"

"Yes, but you are going to fix that little problem, Mum."

Brenda handed Jane the baby and then Jax gave her the bottle. "We thought Grandma should do the honors this evening."

Jax and Brenda smiled as Jane's face showed a look of pure joy as she held Jillian in her arms. After a few minutes, Brenda and Jax decided to go upstairs to prepare for Jillian's bath. Julia followed them upstairs as she decided that this was an appropriate time to give Brenda her surprise. Julia walked into the master bedroom with the wrapped gift.

"Brenda, here is the first part of my gift for Jillian. I know you have been anxious to see it. I just hope you are pleased as I expect."

"I'm sure it is beautiful. I just want to make sure it fits her."

"I understand but I am sure it will fit. This way you can try it on her before she takes her bath."

Brenda sat on the bed, unwrapped the box and opened it. She pulled out the various pieces to the ensemble and her breath caught in her throat. There was a satin under-slip, slippers and bonnet. The short-sleeved gown itself was made from chantilly lace and was embroidered with a delicate floral pattern. There was a matching lace coat which ties closed with a satin ribbon. The slippers and bonnet were trimmed with the same lace pattern.

Jax walked over to the bed and sat next to Brenda. "This is beautiful."

Brenda was completely overwhelmed. "Julia, this is the most gorgeous gown I have ever seen. I can't thank you enough. I will always treasure this."

"I wish I could take the credit for choosing the outfit, but I can't."

"If you didn't pick this out, who did?"

"Look just above the inside of the hem on the gown."

Brenda looked on the inside of the gown and found a satin panel sewn into it. The initials BAB. and the date April 24, 1974 were embroidered on the panel. "BAB and April 24, 1974. I don't understand what it means."

"Brenda Ann Barrett, you wore this gown on your christening day, April 24, 1974."

"You mean..."

"Yes, this was your gown. Veronica selected it for you to wear on your christening day."

Jax looked at the tears spilling from Brenda's eyes. He took her hand in his. "Now, our daughter will wear it."

Brenda stood up as her emotions continued to overpower her. "Julia, I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything. I hoped you would be happy and obviously you are. That's all I want."

Brenda hugged Julia and both women laughed amidst the deluge of tears. Jax sat back and enjoyed the scene. Jane then walked in with Jillian. Jax took the baby as Jane walked over to the bed to see the gown.

"My word. This is so lovely."

Brenda finally composed herself. "It was the gown I wore on my christening day."

"How wonderful! Speaking of family traditions, I have something which I hope will be of use. I will be right back with it."

Brenda sat down on the bed and Jax sat down next to her. "I don't think I can take anymore of this today."

Jax smiled at her and put his arm around her.

Jane walked back into the room with a box and handed it to Brenda. Brenda lifted the lid and pulled out a beautiful silk woven white blanket. "Jane, this is gorgeous."

"As you know, John and I started out with nothing. When the boys came along, there was no money for anything but the bare essentials. My dearest friend gave me that blanket when Jerry was born. I used it on the christening days for both Jerry and Jax. I hope you will consider using it tomorrow and on the christening days of your future children."

Tears were again spilling from Brenda's eyes. "Jane, we would be honored. Jillian will be surrounded by her family and friends and their traditions."

The tears became sobs as Jane and Brenda hugged. Julia stood nearby as her eyes also brimmed with tears. Jerry then walked into the room and observed the emotions of the three women.

"What is going on in here? You women have all turned into blubbering saps."

Jane cleared her throat and looked at Jerry and then at Brenda. "I made the mention of future children because you and Jax seem to be my only chance for grandchildren. I have given up hope that Mr. Insensitive over there will ever find a woman who will put up with him."

Julia smirked at Jerry. "Jane, all hope may not be lost. There still could be a cave woman out there that could put up with a neandrathal. Oh, on second thought, you're right. He is hopeless."

Jerry walked over to Julia. "Listen here, you..." He looked at Jax and Brenda who had raised their eyebrows at him reminding him of his promise of earlier today. "We will finish this conversation after the ceremony." Jerry then walked out of the bedroom.

"He gets more exasperating every day." Julia then left the bedroom.

"I am going to go pull myself together and get Jillian's bath ready." Brenda then walked into the master bathroom.

"Mum, thank you. You have made her so happy."

"Son, I have nothing to do with her happiness. She has you and Jillian for that. I can't tell you what it means to me to see you all so happy. As I said when you first brought Brenda home, marriage will be the most rewarding experience of your life if you have chosen the right partner. You both obviously have."

Sunday, October 26, 1997
The Jacks' Residence -- Noon

The baptism ceremony was scheduled for 2:00pm at St. Cecilia's. Several people were attending both the ceremony and the party afterward while others were just coming to the party later this afternoon. Jax and Brenda had invited the Cerrullos, Augustin, Thao, Paolo and the Contessa over for brunch before the baptism this afternoon. Father Baccio had to finish his Sunday duties at St. Vincent's before traveling to Port Charles for the ceremony.

The weather was sunny and mild for the end of October. The caterers were completing their work before the festivities. Jillian had made quite an impression. The Contessa remarked to Paolo how much Jillian reminded her of their eldest daughter, Sophia. Jillian seemed to be instantly drawn to Augustin's melodious voice. When Thao approached Jillian, she began to cry.

Jax stroked his chin and grinned. "She is such a great judge of character already, isn't she?"

Augustin laughed as Thao shook his head at the whole group. Jerry was glad to see the group again and Jax introduced everyone to Lois, Gloria and Carmine. Of course, Thao had met the Cerrullos at the wedding in Bensonhurst. Augustin and Julia had been friends since his days at the London Opera House and he introduced her to Thao, Paolo and the Contessa.

Thao took Julia's hand and kissed it. He then proceeded to engage her in an animated conversation for several minutes before asking her to join him on the terrace. Brenda could not help but notice how often Jerry's eyes wandered over to Julia and Thao. Jane also noted the attention Jerry seemed to be giving to Julia and Thao.

Brenda went upstairs to give Jillian a bath while Jax entertained the guests. The Contessa joined Brenda so they could have the chance to visit.

"Now Jillian, just remember how much you like baths when Father Baccio pours the water over your head this afternoon. I know you are going to be an angel for Aunt Julia and Uncle Jerry."

"You look like an old pro at that. I guess it won't be long now before you'll start thinking about having the next one."

Brenda raised her eyebrows to the Contessa. "Contessa, I am beginning to wonder how you and Paolo had two more children after Sophia. I don't know how you found the time and/or energy to conceive another child."

The Contessa laughed. "I remember I thought the same thing when Sophia was four weeks old. Believe me, things will get better."

"I hope so. I would like to make love to my husband again before 1998. I am just afraid that once I am finally feeling better, I will either be too exhausted or Jillian will be up every two hours or Jax will be working fourteen hour days. I miss all the time we used to spend together, just the two of us."

"Brenda, your life will never be quite the same but that does not mean that you and Jax have to lose out on your time together. I am sure you both can be creative and figure out ways to steal some time away for some private moments."

Brenda smiled. "You're right. Creativity is one of our strongest qualities."

Jane and Julia joined Brenda and the Contessa and they dressed Jillian for the ceremony. Jillian looked like a royal princess. Jax came upstairs to take some pictures of the baby as Brenda got dressed herself. They all went downstairs and Julia took pictures of Jax, Brenda and the baby. To say that the Jacks family made for a beautiful photo would have been an understatement. Brenda was dressed in a midnight blue silk dress while Jax wore a dark blue silk blend suit. They were quite a handsome couple.

"Okay, time for photos of Jillian and her godparents. Julia, I'll take the camera and you take the baby. Jerry come over here."

Jerry stood next to Julia but at a distance. "Jerry, move closer to Julia. Everyone smile. Jillian look at Mommy."

After all the photos were taken, Brenda wrapped Jillian in the family blanket which Jane had given her. Jax escorted all the guests outside and sent them ahead after telling them that he and Brenda would meet them at the church. Virgil took Jane, John, Julia and Jerry in the limousine as Jax would take Brenda and the baby himself. Jax walked back into the house and smiled at Brenda.

"I thought it would be nice to have a minute to ourselves."

"What a wonderful thought. I love you."

Jax walked over to Brenda. "And I love you. I love both of you."

Jillian was on the floor in the carrier to the car seat. "Jillian, are you ready for this? This is your big day."

Jax grinned. "Ready? Of course she's ready. She was born ready -she's a Barrett and a Jacks."

Brenda could not help beaming. "Yes, she is a Barrett and a Jacks and today she is surrounded by love and memories from both families. What could be more perfect?"

"Nothing. There is nothing in this entire world that could make this moment any more perfect than it is right now."

"Jax, I want you to know something. I know it may sound strange to you but I have to say it."

"What is it, sweetie?"

"I want you to know that if I were to die at this moment, I would die with all my dreams realized and with my heart so full of love and joy that it would last me through eternity. Please promise me that you will remember that always."

Jax took Brenda's face in his hands. "My darling, I promise and you must know that the same can be said of me."

"I know. Believe me, I know."

They remained there together for a few moments. As they stood together, time stood still. The love they shared permeated the room as a sense of peace and tranquillity overtook them. When they finally moved away from one another, the real world began to exist once again. They left for the church and the public celebration. The public celebration would never surpass the private celebration that they had just shared.

The Jacks' Residence -- 3:00pm

The Jacks and their guests had just returned from St. Cecilia's Church. The christening had gone beautifully. Father Baccio had interjected humor and levity into the ceremony. Augustin had overwhelmed the guests as he sang "Ave Maria." Jillian had cooperated perfectly as Father Baccio poured the holy water over her head.

Once the guests had arrived for the party, the waiters began passing around champagne. The guests flowed back and forth from the terrace and the grounds. Once Brenda and Robin entered the house, they took Jillian upstairs to get changed.

"Are you sure you should be up here? Poor Jason is down there by himself."

"Sonny and Mike are there."

"I am glad they all could come. I was not sure that Sonny would make an appearance. He told me he wasn't sure when I asked him about it. He has only been here once since everything happened with Harry."

"He's here. I'm sure it didn't hurt that Jax spoke to him at the church."

"What? Jax spoke to him at the church?"

"Yes, Jax made a point of coming over to us and asking Sonny to come. Jax said that it would make both of you happy if Sonny shared in the celebration."

Brenda took a deep breath. The depth of Jax's love and devotion to her never ceased to amaze her. She picked up Jillian. "Jillian Veronica Jacks, your daddy is the most incredible man in this world."

"He loves you so much, Brenda. I see the way he looks at you and Jillian."

"He treasures us. I wish that everyone could have a Jasper Jacks in their lives."

Brenda, Jillian and Robin joined the other guests outside. Brenda walked over to Lois who was talking to Sonny and Mike. Robin took Jillian over to Jason so that he could see her.

"I trust everyone is enjoying themselves."

Mike raised his flute of champagne. "How could we not with free-flowing champagne and caviar. Salud everyone!"

Sonny looked at both Lois and Brenda. "I can't take him anywhere."

Brenda and Lois laughed and Brenda looked over at Robin and Jason who were involved in an animated conversation. "Come on Jason, hold her."

"She's so little. I could drop her."

"You are not going to drop her. Here." Robin handed Jillian to Jason.

Jason brought Jillian close to his face so that her eyes were looking straight into his eyes. Jillian opened her mouth and began sucking on his nose. "What is she doing?"

Robin began to laugh. "She likes you. Babies at her age use their mouths to communicate with people."

"Hey kid! I'll communicate with you but no more of that slobbering. Ugh!"

Across the tent, Lois and Brenda were laughing so hard at Jason and Jillian that they could barely stand up straight. Sonny was just shaking his head.

A little while later Brenda was talking with Lucy and Jax and Justus joined them. As they chatted, Julia was sitting at a nearby table with Thao as Jerry looked on. Thao got up to get Julia a drink and Jerry sat down in Thao's seat.

"That seat is taken."

"Ms. Barrett, you can't tell me that you are falling for that so-called Greek charm. Thao is a master flirt and casanova. He seems to have chosen you as his conquest for this weekend."

"How dare you judge his motivations. Just because you view every woman as a prize, does not mean that every other man feels the same."

"Well, excuse me for trying to protect you and your virtue."

"My virtue is of absolutely no concern of yours."

"That is the understatement of the year. You can have your virtue dragged through the streets by every man here for all I care. It is probably already there anyway."

Julia shot up from her chair. "You bastard." A waiter was walking by with an open bottle of champagne. Julia grabbed it and proceeded to pour it over Jerry's head. She then stormed off.

Jax caught his breath. "Folks, that was our entertainment for the afternoon."

Brenda sighed. "Well, I guess he made it through the ceremony."

Jax shook his head. "I just hope that this isn't the calm before the storm."

Justus chuckled. "This seems like a Quartermaine event. Are you all sure you are not related?"

Jax grinned. "No, but maybe its something about living on this street. It must be something in the water."

Father Baccio had to head back to Bensonhurst so Jax, Brenda and Jillian walked him to the limousine that Jax had arranged for his transportation.

"We are so happy you were able to be here with us today."

"Brenda, it was my pleasure. It does my heart good to be a part of such a celebration. I felt the same way at your wedding."

"Father, thank you again. We truly are honored that you were with us today."

"Jax, you're very welcome. Please don't be a stranger. Bensonhurst is not that far away. You will have to bring Jillian to see the church bells that will be dedicated in her honor."

Brenda smiled in amazement at the priest's statement. Father Baccio gently stroked Jillian's cheek before entering the car. Before he departed, Father Baccio had a final thought for the family. "Please do not ever lose sight of what you have and I do not mean this beautiful estate before me. I mean what you have in each other. It is all that matters."

Brenda smiled. "We know and we won't ever stop treasuring it."

Jax and Brenda waved as the limousine pulled out of the driveway. Brenda turned to look at Jax. "You bought him church bells."

"Yes. I figured we have a set named after us in Greece so Jillian can have a set in the States."

Brenda spoke in almost a whisper. "Are you ever going to stop amazing me?"

"I certainly hope not. That would wreck my plans for the next sixty years."

Jax and Brenda walked back into the house where most of the guests had now congregated. Julia walked over to them. "There you are. We have been looking for you."

"What is going on in here?"

"Come into the living room. Ned and Augustin have a special gift for the three of you."

They walked into the living room. Augustin was sitting at the piano while Ned stood behind him. Jax, Brenda and Jillian sat down on the couch next to Lois and Brooke. Felicia, Maxie and Georgie were in one corner of the room while the Spencers were in the other corner. Scott, Serena, Lucy and Kevin were standing near the sofa where John, Jane, Edward and Gloria sat. Lila sat in her wheelchair on the other side of the sofa. Others stood around the room.

"I have a special song I would like to sing for Jax, Brenda and Jillian in honor of this day and Augustin has generously agreed to provide my accompaniment. We are recording this as a memento for Jillian on her special day. Jax and Brenda, this is to all of you."

I am your child.
Wherever you go ----- you take me too.
Whatever I know ----- I learned from you.
Whatever I do ----- you taught me to do.
I am your child and I am your chance.

Brenda leaned her head against Jax's shoulder as Lois hugged Brooke tightly in her lap. Laura smiled as she held Lulu in her arms and Felicia had her arm around Maxie as she held Georgie's hand.

Ned continued singing.

Whatever will come ----- will come from me.
Tomorrow is won ------ by winning me.
Whatever I am ----- you taught me to be.
I am your hope ----- I am your chance.
I am your child.

Augustin played the instrumental verse as Jane looked over at Jax and Brenda. Tears appeared in the corners of Jane's eyes at the sight of Brenda's glistening tears and Jillian asleep in her arms. Jax closed his eyes as he softly kissed Brenda's forehead.

Lucy and Scott smiled at Serena as Bobbie and Tony looked down at Lucas.

The song continued.

Whatever I am ----- you taught me to be.
I am your hope ----- I am your chance
I am your child.

Brenda looked at Lois as Ned finished singing. Brenda knew that Lois' heart was refusing to deny the feelings that the song had just evoked. Jax and Brenda got up and walked over to Ned and Augustin.

"Thank you both. It was so beautiful. You couldn't have given us a more precious gift."

"Brenda is right. We will treasure it always."

"You are most welcome."

Brenda looked at Ned looking at Lois. "I am going to put Jillian down for her nap. Lois, why don't you leave Brooke with Ned and come upstairs with me?"

Brenda and Lois went upstairs and Brenda put Jillian in the cradle in the nursery. Brenda and Lois then went into the master bedroom. "Lois, stop fighting it. It is a useless cause."

"Brenda, I don't have the strength to do this now."

"Lois Marie, you are one of the strongest women I have ever met. Stop shutting yourself off. It is not fair to any of you."

"I can't live through it again."

"You're not living now. You have Brooke and what else? You are living with your parents in Bensonhurst and Ned is here alone. Neither of you are living -- you are just existing. Believe me, I know what you are doing. I did the same thing for months after Sonny. As Jax so accurately told me, I lived like a hostage in the room at Kelly's."

"Brenda, it's not the same."

"The facts aren't the same but the results are. Neither of you can let go but unlike my relationship with Sonny, you and Ned have something to save. It is worth fighting for just like it was for Jax and I. Don't waste another second. You never know what the next day will bring."

Lois looked at Brenda and had to laugh. "When did you start to sound so much like me? Well, at least the old me."

"That's the point. You have tried so hard to deny your feelings for Ned that you have given up a big piece of yourself. You left Ned because you were afraid he and his family would change you. Honey, you changed anyway and now you are also miserable."

Lois sat down on the bed. "I don't know what to do or feel anymore. I am so scared, Bren."

Brenda sat down next to Lois. "I know. Just open your heart and see what happens. I am not saying it is going to be easy but how much worse can it be than what you both are living through now."

"I guess we do owe it to each other and to Brooke to try."

Brenda smiled. "I think you do. I want all of you to be happy. I'm the one that was always miserable. You don't fit the role."

"Neither do you. I am just glad that you realize that now."

"Lois, I will always be here for you and Ned and so will Jax."

Brenda and Lois returned to the festivities. The party was breaking up and Jax and Brenda began to say their good-byes to the guests. Jason had to take Robin back to New Haven and Mike and Sonny had to get to the Club. Brenda thanked them all for coming and Robin promised to be home for Thanksgiving this year. Lila, Monica and Alan got Edward out the door before he began to spout off at Jax about ELQ take-over plans again.

Thao, Augustin, Paolo and the Contessa bid their farewells. Augustin, Paolo and the Contessa were returning to Italy tomorrow but Thao was staying in the States for a few days on business. Julia and Thao made plans to meet for dinner later this evening. Jax and Brenda promised to try to plan a trip across the Atlantic to see everyone. Gloria and Carmine went back to the gate house to finish packing for the return trip to Bensonhurst. They told Lois to meet them at the gate house whenever she was ready to leave.

Ned finished his discussion with Jerry and Scott and prepared to leave. "Lois, I would like to take Brooke over to the house to say good-bye to Grandmother if that is all right with you."

"Of course. In fact, I will come with you if you don't mind. I would like to thank everyone for yesterday."

Ned smiled. "Let's say our good-byes and then go."

They said their good-byes to Jax and Brenda and Lois promised to call Brenda during the week. Once they had left, Brenda cheerfully sighed.

"Is there something going on that I don't know about? You and Lois were upstairs for quite a few minutes."

"I am keeping my fingers crossed for such a possibility."

The Jacks' Residence -- 9:00pm

Brenda was sitting in the den with John, Jane and Jerry. Jillian was restless in her arms.

"Love, I don't think today could have been any lovelier. Well, maybe if a certain godfather would have kept his mouth shut."

"Mum, I was merely trying to be gallant."

Brenda laughed. "Gallant? I did not think you even knew the definition of the word."

"Ha, ha. I was trying to protect Julia from humiliation. We all know what a rogue Thao is. I was only attempting to save her from embarrassment. Dad, please explain this to her."

"Son, leave me out of this."

"Jerry, my sister has had quite a bit of experience with rogues on both sides of the Atlantic. I think she can handle herself. Besides I do not think that Thao falls into that category."

"You are way too gullible then. Why do you think Thao invited her to dinner this evening? He had already spent the whole day with her."

Brenda looked amused. "Maybe he enjoys her company."

"That is an impossibility. She is the most infuriating and aggravating women I have ever known."

Jane put down her cup of tea. "I just wonder why you are so concerned about Julia's welfare. I mean you are barely civil to her most of the time."

"She is Brenda's sister and Jillian's aunt. Like it or not, she is part of Jax's personal and business life so I am obligated to look out for her my brother and his family's behalf."

Brenda and Jane shot knowing glances at one another. "Of course, son. I knew there could be no other possible explanation for your concern."

Jillian began to fuss. "What is it, precious? You are completely off schedule from the past two days, aren't you?"

"Poor thing. She has had an exciting few days. Jax told me that she was up three times last night. Maybe she will give you a respite tonight."

"That would be wonderful." Brenda stood up and started walking around the room with the baby. "It's okay. Daddy is going to get your bottle. What you really need is some sleep."

Jerry looked at Brenda. "I don't understand this bottle feeding tradition in the evening."

Brenda shook her head at Jerry. "It allows Jax time with his daughter every night. He also takes the 4:00am feeding on the weekends so I don't have to get up every night of the week."

Jax walked in with the bottle. Brenda turned toward Jax and winked at him.

"Brother, we want to commend you on the fulfillment of your duties as godfather today. There is still one obligation remaining however."

Brenda walked over to Jerry and handed him Jillian.

"What is this obligation, holding a screaming child?"

"No, it is feeding a screaming child." Jax handed Jerry the bottle.

"Come on you two, I have no idea how to feed a joey. Roo is going to starve to death."

Brenda stroked Jillian's head. "Hey precious. You have to be a little patient with Uncle Jerry, he is new at this." Brenda propped Jillian up in Jerry's arm and tipped the bottle. "Now, let her take the nipple of the bottle and hold her as close to you as you can."

Jerry lowered the bottle into Jillian's mouth and she stopped crying. Her eyes stared up at him but then slowly began to flutter. She was fighting sleep and losing. She was perfectly content in Jerry's arms and he was perfectly content to have her there. When the sandman finally was victorious, Brenda eased the nipple from her mouth. Jillian let out a big sigh but remained sound asleep.

"She needs to get up to bed now. I will take her upstairs."

Jerry whispered to Brenda. "No, I'll take her. No sense is disturbing her sleep twice."

"Okay, lead the way."

Jerry stood up and walked out of the den with Brenda following behind him. As soon as Jerry walked into the hall and out of sight range of the den, Brenda turned around a gave a thumbs up sign to John, Jane and Jax.

Friday, October 31, 1997
The Jacks' Residence -- 7:30am

The past few days had been rough. The Canadian Timber deal had hit a major roadblock necessitating a two and a half day trip to Toronto for Jax and Julia. Jerry, who had been in Alaska with John and Jane, had also traveled to Toronto. It had been the first time that Jax was forced to travel since Jillian had been born. Jillian had also developed her first cold and was not sleeping well which meant that Brenda was not sleeping either. When Jax returned home late last night from Toronto, he did not which of the three of them was more exhausted.

Brenda was nursing Jillian as Jax, still drying off from the shower, walked out of the bathroom. Brenda looked over at him and sighed at the sight of his well-muscled chest and arms. She wondered when she was ever going to be able to indulge in the fantasies that were racing within her mind. She ached for the feel of his body against hers and the passion that his touch ignited in her.

"How is she? Is she eating any better?"

"She seems to be better this morning. I am glad that she has her one month visit with Simone this afternoon. I will feel more at ease after Simone sees her."

Jax walked over to the bed and sat down next to Brenda. "I know you have been worried about her and I am sorry that you had to deal with this alone."

"Jax, I love you for worrying about me but you have a business to run. I realize that emergencies are going to arise which force you to be away from us. We will miss you but we know you will always come back to us as soon as you can."

"If I had my choice, I would never leave either of you."

Jax gently caressed Brenda's cheek with the back of hand. He loved the silkiness of her skin. It was almost as soft as Jillian's newborn skin. Brenda turned her head so that her lips lightly kissed his hand. The touch of her lips sent waves of desire through him. He missed her so, he wanted her so. Even with the stress and exhaustion she had experienced over the past few days and nights, Brenda was still the most beautiful woman he had ever known. As Jax continued to be captivated by the feel of Brenda's lips against his hand, Jillian began to hiccup.

"Does Mommy's little girl have the hiccups?"

Jax took Jillian in his arms. "Hey there, princess. Daddy missed you so much. I am sorry you haven't felt well. Mommy says that since you've been sick, you are really into cuddling. Daddy will cuddle with you anytime you want."

"Are you sure you have the time this afternoon to take us to the hospital? I know that things are still up in the air in Toronto. Virgil can always take us."

"Virgil is not taking you. I am not going to miss her first doctor's appointment, everything else can wait. I am going to be there when Simone tells us that she is fine."

Brenda smiled as Jillian gurgled at Jax. She was worried about the baby but she felt better already. Jax always knew exactly what to say to comfort her.

General Hospital -- 3:00pm

The pediatric floor was decorated for Halloween. Amy and Bobbie were leading some of the ambulatory pediatric patients through the halls for a parade. The children wore masks or make-up or carried a prop to represent a costume. Emily was also helping out. Audrey was passing out candy to them as they passed by.

Brenda and Jax were sitting in the lounge with Jillian. Simone had been called into the delivery room to assist with a pre-term delivery and was running late. Brenda smiled and waved at the children as the parade passed through the lounge area.

"Jillian, next year we will have to get you a costume for Halloween. Let's see, maybe you would like to be dressed as a ballerina or a fairy princess."

"Don't say anything to my brother or he will send her a kangaroo costume."

Brenda laughed. "He probably would. He has already sent her a dozen stuffed kangaroos."

"He is a lunatic, what else can I say?"

"What happened in Toronto today?"

"Things are stable right now so Julia and Jerry are on their way back to Port Charles. We are going to have to spend the whole weekend working in order to stay on schedule. We lost so much time this week."

"I am just glad you all were able to salvage the deal. I know how much time, money and effort has been put into this."

As Jax and Brenda continued to wait, Ned got off the elevator and walked by the lounge area. He stopped when he saw the Jacks and walked over to them. "Good afternoon. This is a surprise. Jillian isn't sick is she?"

"No, she is having her one month check-up. What brings you here this afternoon?"

"I had a meeting with Stefan about the ELQ grants so I thought I would pick up Emily. I know she is here somewhere helping Bobbie with the Halloween festivities."

"Yes, we saw her a few minutes ago helping with the parade. I am sure she will be back here soon. In the meantime, sit down and tell me how things are with Lois."

"Brenda, I almost am afraid to say this out loud but I feel hopeful for the first time in months."

"Ned, that's wonderful."

"Lois has seemed much more open since last weekend. I know that the two of you spent a lot of time together. I don't know what you said to her but I am thankful for whatever it was. I am going to Bensonhurst tomorrow for the weekend so we can talk."

"Ned, just don't push. Let Lois sort this out. I think in the end her heart will win out."

"Ned, I wish you and Lois all the best. You two belong together."

"Thanks Jax."

Simone then came over to the lounge area. "I am so sorry that I held you up."

"Don't worry about it. We know emergencies happen."

"Let's go and check on you, Miss Jillian."

"Lead the way. See ya Ned. I want a full report when you get back."

Simone had finished weighing and measuring Jillian and listening to her heartbeat. She then checked Jillian's eyes and ears. "She seems to be thriving. I know she has been suffering with a cold but I see no sign of an ear infection. She does not seem to have any congestion in her chest so I don't expect any problems. If the cold gets worse or does not go away in the next few days, call me."

"She is okay otherwise?"

"She seems to be doing beautifully. Her weight gain is good as were her reflexes and motion responses. She seems quite communicative which is great."

Jax laughed. "I'm not sure I would agree with that statement at 4:00am when she insists on trying to carry on a conversation."

Brenda smiled. "She does seem to have inherited by passion for chattering."

"Well, you seem to be coping and handling parenthood quite admirably. She is doing wonderfully."

Jax put his arm around Brenda. "Jillian has been blessed with a terrific mother."

"Well, unless a problem arises beforehand, I will see you all in a month."

"Thanks. Jillian, say good-bye to Dr. Hardy. See you soon!"

The Jacks' Residence -- 10:30pm

Jillian had been fussy all evening and Brenda was trying to get her to sleep. Jerry and Julia had returned from Toronto and Jax had joined them at the office for a late meeting with Scott about the next step for Canadian Timber. Brenda was rocking Jillian in the chair in the master bedroom when Jerry appeared at the door.

"Come on in. Welcome back. You look exhausted."

"I can say the same thing about you. I came to see how Roo is doing."

"She is still not herself. I think she is more overtired than anything." At the sound of Brenda's voice, Jillian looked up at her. "Uncle Jerry is here to check on you. Can you say hello?"

"Hey Roo. What is this I hear about you and a cold? You tell that cold to get out and stay out."

Brenda smiled as Jillian turned toward Jerry and moved her head and mouth in response to him.

"Tell Uncle Jerry we will see him in the morning."

"Good night Roo. Sleep well."

After Jerry left the room, Brenda was finally able to rock Jillian to sleep. She put the baby into the bassinet as Jax entered the room.

"Did you get her to sleep?"

"Yes, but I don't know for how long. She seems to only be content when she is being held and cuddled."

Jax was getting dressed for bed. "Poor thing. I am sure being sick is scaring her."

Brenda got into bed. "I'm sure you are right. Let's just hope she feels better tomorrow."

Jax climbed into bed and took Brenda in his arms. "She is so lucky to have you."

"We are all lucky to have each other." Brenda lifted her head from Jax's chest and tenderly kissed him. "I love you, Mr. Jacks."

"I love you, Mrs. Jacks."

Jillian then began to cry. "Brenda, I'll get her."

Jax walked over to the bassinet and picked up the baby and kissed her on the forehead. "What is it. princess? Do you need to snuggle with Mommy and Daddy?"

Jax climbed back into bed and laid Jillian over one shoulder. He wrapped one arm around her and she quickly settled down and drifted off to sleep. Brenda rested her head against his other shoulder and Jax held her with his free arm. As Brenda drifted off to sleep, Jax smiled as his heart leapt in celebration of the love he shared with the two people he held in his arms.

Song Credit - "I Am Your Child" Lyrics by Marty Panzer, music by Barry Manilow