It had been nearly an hour since Brenda had locked herself in the bathroom, and Jax was beginning to get worried. He’d heard the shower shut off nearly thirty minutes ago and the faint rustling of the shopping bags shortly after that, but there had been dead silence for the past ten minutes. He’d been standing anxiously by the door for the past several minutes, debating whether or not to knock, when he heard the distinct click of the door unlocking, then saw the door slowly swing open.

He took a step back to allow her room to move by, but then stopped dead in his tracks as he saw her emerge. Despite how tired and drawn she’d looked earlier because of the ordeal of the past couple of days, she looked absolutely beautiful now. She was dressed in the pair of white shorts and the hot pink tank top that he’d picked up, and the pink of the shirt gave her face some much-needed color. Her hair, which she’d hastily cut and slicked straight back with gel in order to look like a boy two days before, was now freshly shampooed, towel-dried and lightly tousled, with her natural curls delicately framing her oval face. Her face, which had been pale for days, now had remarkable color, and the dark circles that had been prominent beneath her eyes just an hour ago were barely noticeable now.

She was surprised to see him standing outside the door and even more surprised to see him simply staring at her, not saying anything. “Ummm… I didn’t mean to take so long, but I had some major repair work to do on my hair,” she laughed, running a hand lightly through her tousled curls.

He still just stared at her.

His intense gaze made her feel very self-conscious, and she shifted her weight on her crutches as she glanced down at herself nervously, trying to figure out why he was looking at her like that. “Ummm… Is something wrong? … I mean, I actually thought I looked a lot better than when I went in - But… maybe not…?”

That pulled Jax out of his stupor. “No! - No! - Wow!… No! … You just…. Wow!… You just look … beautiful… absolutely beautiful…” he stammered, as he continued to stare unabashedly at her, marveling at how she still could take his breath away with her incredible beauty, even after the ordeal of the past couple of days. And the hair - He’d loved her long, sleek hair, but this short, curly style made her look absolutely adorable.

That brought an immediate smile to Brenda’s face and a slight blush to her cheeks, as she laughed: “I don’t think I’d go that far, but I do look and feel better than I did an hour ago.” She hobbled past him and into the bedroom, then turned around to look at him. “Thanks for the clothes… As you can see, you did a good job guessing the size - Everything fits,” she said, looking down at her outfit. “Everything -” she added, meaning even the undergarments he’d chosen for her, which not only fit, but were definitely things she would have chosen for herself.

He had difficulty hiding his smile as he answered her implied question of how he knew what size and style of lingerie to select. “Well, I have a very good eye,” he replied, his eyes twinkling.

“Indeed, you do,” she replied, arching an eyebrow and cocking her head as she studied his face, wondering why this playful bantering felt so familiar to her? Perhaps she had the same kind of playful relationship with the man in her past…

She continued to stare at him as he continued to smile at her. He has the most wonderful eyes, she thought.

And the sweetest smile…

And the most kissable lips…

She felt a small shudder course through her then as that tantalizing thought collided with her incredible visionary experience in the shower, and she suddenly pictured Jax as the man she’d been about to kiss in the dream. She felt the blood drain from her face and she swallowed hard, trying to erase the erotic image from her mind. Why was she picturing herself kissing Jax like that? Had the vision she’d had in the shower been merely a fantasy and not a memory, as she’d assumed?

Jax, who’d been watching her as intently as she’d been studying him, saw her shudder and then go pale, and he grabbed for her immediately. “Are you okay?” he asked, as he steadied her.

“I… I… ummm… I’m fine,” she lied, as she moved away from him, trying desperately to maintain some distance between them and still steady herself on the crutches so she wouldn’t fall flat on her face.

“You don’t look fine,” Jax pointed out, once again reaching out to steady her. “Your face just suddenly went pale and you were shaking - You still are.”

“Ummm… just low blood sugar… I’ll be okay once I get something in my stomach,” she replied, plastering on a fake smile as she tried desperately not to look at him. She quickly moved toward the open door to the hallway. “Which way to the kitchen?” she asked, as she paused in the doorway.

“To the left, but I thought we’d eat outside on the deck,” he called, chasing after her as she hurried out of the bedroom. He caught up with her in the living room, where she was leaning against the couch, her eyes closed, as she took slow, deep breaths. “Maybe you’d better sit down,” he suggested, as he once again placed his hands on her to steady her.

“Please don’t touch me!” she barked, jerking away from him and spilling herself onto the couch in the process. She righted herself and looked up to see Jax keeping his distance, a look of hurt confusion on his face. God, how could she be so rude to him? He had no idea that he’d become the object of her erotic fantasies. He merely wanted to help.

“I’m sorry…” she quickly apologized. “It just feels… strange… to be touched - that’s all…” she offered lamely. It just feels so wonderful to be touched by you, and that’s the problem; I need to be concentrating on remembering the man in my past, not fantasizing about you.

Jax thought she was referring to some lingering effects of her withdrawal. “I’m sorry… I thought I was helping… I guess I’m not as good at helping you cope as I thought… I seem to be doing everything wrong today…”

She realized then that he mistakenly believed her aversion to being touched was related to her withdrawal. Well, that worked for her. “No… you’ve been wonderful… It’s just that I’m still a little jumpy, that’s all.”

Jax nodded. “I understand,” he said quietly, the concern for her evident in his eyes and his tone, which made her feel even worse about the way she’d just reacted.

“Ummm… Maybe I’ll feel better once I’ve eaten something,” she finally said, pulling herself to her feet using her crutches, then heading for the front door. “You said breakfast was on the deck, right?” she called back over her shoulder, as she opened the door and stepped outside. She was immediately overwhelmed by both the beauty of the view and the incredibly sweet smell of citrus that greeted her as she stepped out onto the deck. “Wow!” she sighed, as she slowly walked to the railing and looked around her.

“Magnificent, isn’t it?” Jax smiled, as he joined her at the railing. “The deck goes completely around the house - and the view is even better on the other side of the house.”

She merely nodded and continued gazing around her.

“The table is over there, just around the corner,” Jax said, pointing to their immediate left. “I’ll just go back inside and get your tea and toast… Ummm… can you make it over to the table by yourself?”

Again she nodded. “I’ll be fine…” She watched as he went back inside, then she moved around the corner to her left, where she found a large, round, glass-topped table surrounded by four luxuriously padded chairs. They were situated beneath a pergola that was completely covered with wisteria and honeysuckle vines, and the air was lightly tinged with the faint sweetness of the blooms. The blues of the wisteria flowers intermixed with the yellow of the honeysuckle blossoms added to the beauty and tranquility of the setting, the muted colors reminding her of the Monet that hung in the Armand’s library back on the island.

She turned her attention then to the table itself. Despite the fact that she had only asked for tea and toast, she noticed that Jax had carefully set the table for the two of them with place mats and linen napkins. He’d brought out an assortment of jellies, as well as a sugar bowl and creamer, all of which were on a small bamboo tray on one side of the table. And he’d even placed a beautiful bird of paradise, that he’d evidently picked in the garden below, in a small vase in the middle of the table.

This is typical Jax, she smiled to herself as she settled into one of the chairs. She sat up straight then, as that thought unsettled her. Typical Jax? How could she think this was something Jax would do when she barely even knew the man? Where had that come from? It had simply popped into her head; not so much as a thought, but as a feeling. Like it was something she knew so well that it was simply a part of her.

But how could that be?

It couldn’t be, logic told her. She was evidently mixing up memories of the man in her past with thoughts about Jax. That would also explain why she’d pictured Jax’s face on the body of the man she was about to kiss in her vision. That had to be it! Her conscious mind was simply mixing Jax up with her unconscious memories of the man in her past.

She’d entangled Jax in her escape plan, and then her immediate plunge into withdrawal had kept them mired together after that. They’d been practically joined at the hip for the past several days, and he’d been the one person with whom she’d consistently interacted since she’d slipped away from Kirby, back at the Straw Market. It stood to reason that thoughts of Jax would be filling her head now. She’d simply have to keep an emotional distance from him for the next day or two, until her ankle was healed enough for her to travel. Then she’d pay him for his help, thank him again, and leave. And once she was away from Jax, she’d no longer be picturing him instead of the man she’d loved in the past.

And then Jax can get back to his life, as well, enjoying the rest of his vacation…

Especially when the woman he loves finally joins him here…

She immediately frowned at that thought. She didn’t know why, but the thought of Jax alone here in paradise with another woman both angered and frustrated her. It was almost as if she were jealous or something.

Of course, she knew she couldn’t possibly be jealous. After all, they hardly knew one another, and they certainly didn’t have any kind of a basis for a romantic relationship! They’d only known each other for a few days, and most of that time she’d been either out of it or downright hostile to him in one way or another.

First, she’d kidnapped him at gunpoint, putting both of their lives in danger; after that, she’d tried bribing him to get her out of the Bahamas; then, after he’d graciously - and without coercion - agreed to help her escape the country and they’d arrived safely here in the States and he’d even offered to hide her here, she’d been so totally cold to him - at times, downright rude; and finally, she’d ruined the beginning of his vacation here with her illness due to her withdrawal. Certainly playing nursemaid to a sick drug addict was not anyone’s definition of rest and relaxation, and she imagined he would be more than happy to be rid of her as soon as possible.

So he can be alone with Julia’s sister once she arrives…

Her frown deepened.

She was back to that again... She supposed there was no escaping the fact that she was an intruder in Jax’s life, whereas Julia’s sister was an invited guest.

Not just invited, but loved…

She really did need to face facts here. No matter how possessive she felt about him and despite how comfortable and at home he made her feel, Jax was not hers and he never would be. His heart belonged to someone else; just as there was a man out there somewhere who had once loved her - and possibly still did. She just needed to remember that man from her past, then she’d find her own happiness.

… Then she wouldn’t be envious of Jax’s happiness…

… With another woman…

She sighed again, as she realized that had to be true - It was only logical that her inexplicable feelings of jealousy and possessiveness would melt away once she remembered her own love…

But for some reason - also inexplicable to her - she somehow knew she could never be happy knowing Jax was with another woman. “Why do I feel like this?” she murmured aloud.

“Feel like what?”

Brenda jumped at the sound of Jax’s voice.

“I didn’t mean to startle you,” he apologized, as he set down the tray he was carrying. “Are you still feeling shaky?” he asked, as he slid into the seat across from Brenda and gazed at her intently, concern in his eyes.

His concern moved her because it appeared genuine, but it also baffled her because it made no sense to her. Why did he seem to care so much for her? He treated her like she was the most important person in the world to him, when she knew that she was little more than a stranger to him. Someone else held his heart.

Yet he makes you feel treasured, her heart whispered. Why is that?

“Are you okay?” Jax’s voice brought her out of her thoughts again.

“Ummm… Sure… Of course, I’ll feel a lot better once I get something in my stomach!” she laughed, trying to cover her embarrassment about the thoughts she kept having about him. She reached for the white porcelain teapot, but Jax was a step ahead of her.

“Here, let me pour,” he offered, as he slowly filled the cup in front of her. “It’s just regular tea made with tea bags, but I found some honey for you to put in it,” he added, as he set down the teapot and handed her the jar of honey he’d brought out with the tea and the toast.

“How did you know I like honey in my tea?” she asked, her heart in her throat as she wondered if her feelings for him could actually be memories after all.

Her question momentarily threw Jax. Should he tell her how he knew her as well as he knew his own heart because she was his heart - or should he make up a lie to cover?

Tell her! his heart urged. Tell her you know she likes honey in her tea … and jasmine body lotion… and even the size and style of her undergarments because you are the man from her past… the one who knows anything and everything about her… the one who loves her more than life itself…

But it could confuse her more, his head pointed out logically. She’s still fragile from everything she’s been through, especially the withdrawal. This could be too much for her to handle right now.

So, logic won out. “My mother takes honey in her tea, so I just always associate hot tea with honey.” Not a complete lie; his mother did take honey in her tea, but that’s not why he’d offered it to Brenda.

“That makes sense,” she shrugged, trying to understand why his perfectly plausible statement made her feel so disappointed. Why did she want so desperately to have a past with this man when she knew it was impossible?

Because he’s treated you with respect, logic told her. You’ve always craved that. Armand never respected you… And Jax has been kind to you - kinder than anyone you’ve ever known - or at least can remember. It’s only natural to feel drawn to him, to want to have a deeper connection with him than what you have now. But it’s not based on anything more than your need to be loved and wanted and truly appreciated by someone.

She sighed loudly at that thought, which caught Jax’s attention. “Are you sure everything’s okay?” he asked anxiously.

“I was just wondering if my mother takes honey in her tea,” she quickly covered, ladling a teaspoon of the honey into her cup and stirring it. “… If I even have a mother, that is…” she added quietly.

Jax sat quietly as he pondered how to respond to that, as Brenda’s mother had likely died in the same accident that had taken Brenda from him. And if she wasn’t dead, she deserved to be because she was the one who had caused that accident in the first place.

To be fair, at the time of the accident Veronica Wilding Barrett had been suffering from a degenerative illness that had stolen her sanity, so she wasn’t stable when she came to Port Charles in the first place. But he’d learned that too late, and he had failed to protect Brenda from her mother when she’d needed his protection the most. He held himself responsible for Brenda’s disappearance and her mother’s likely death. But he couldn’t very well tell her that now, could he?

But he didn’t have to say anything, as she suddenly surprised him by asking: “What’s your mother like, Jax?”

“My mother?” Her question made him smile because his mother had adored Brenda. Well, not at first… At first, she’d suspected Brenda of being after Jax’s money, but she’d soon learned that Brenda didn’t care about his immense wealth; she only cared about him. And she’d quickly come to understand why Jax had fallen in love with Brenda, and she now loved Brenda as much as she loved her own sons.

“My mother is amazing,” he said proudly, as he began telling Brenda about the second most important woman in his life. “I don’t think there’s anything she can’t do, including making something out of nothing. We were poor growing up in the outback of Australia, and times were usually tough for us… We even lived in our car for a few weeks, while Dad was off trying to find work here in America… But she always made sure my brother and I had something in our stomachs, whether she ate or not. And she always made us feel loved and safe. And we never felt like we had less than anyone else, even though we usually did back then.”

Brenda set down her cup of tea and smiled warmly at Jax. “She sounds like an amazing woman and the kind of mother anyone would love to have…” Her eyes misted as she added: “Money and material things aren’t important in life, but love is; your mother knew that, and I can see that you took that to heart.”

“You can?” Jax asked, his eyes twinkling. “How?”

Brenda hesitated, as she realized she probably shouldn’t have added that last part about him. How could she phrase this so that it didn’t sound like she had some sort of schoolgirl crush on him?

“I, uh… I just meant that you have a very good heart to take me in as you did and taking care of me as you have - as you still are,” Brenda smiled, trying to speak in a normal voice, as the way he was looking at her now was making her heart flutter.

Why did he make her feel this way? Was it simply because she wasn’t completely well? Is that why his touch and his gaze made her feel like she was melting inside?

That had to be it - that, and low blood sugar. She quickly grabbed for a piece of dry toast and took a bite, hoping that would stop her pounding heart and settle the butterflies in her stomach.

“Well, I was happy to help you out,” he smiled, as he watched her eat. “And Mum will be thrilled by what you had to say about her, too.”

She stopped eating and looked at him incredulously. “You’d actually tell your mother about me?”

“Why wouldn’t I? I tell my parents about all the exciting things in my life,” he smiled.

“Well, I suppose it’s not everyday that you get hijacked at gunpoint by a crazed, runaway amnesiac in the midst of drug withdrawal, so I guess the last couple of days could be considered exciting from that aspect,” she laughed derisively.

He laughed, too. “Okay, let me rephrase that: I tell my parents about all the important things in my life.”

That gave her pause. “You consider me important?” she asked quietly, to which he nodded his assent. “Why?”

Why? Because I only really started to live the moment you came into my life that first time, and then I stopped living when you disappeared. And now you and my life are both back.

That’s what he wanted to say to her, but he couldn’t because she wouldn’t understand. He sat and simply stared at her, marveling at her beauty; marveling at the fact that he’d thought he’d lost her to death, yet she was very much alive and sitting just inches from him now; marveling at the wonderful gift that the gods had given him yet again when they’d somehow found one another the other day. It had to be written in the stars that they were meant to be together. How else could one explain any of this?

“Because I think we were meant to find each other,” he replied, smiling as he picked up a piece of toast and spread a generous spoonful of orange marmalade on it.

“Meant to find each other? You’re joking, right?” she asked incredulously.

He just smiled and set the marmalade toast on her plate.

“And why did you just do that?” she asked, pointing to the toast. “What makes you think I even like orange marmalade?”

Because I know everything about you - especially what you like and how you like it… He found his mind quickly wandering into territory that was best left untouched for the moment, unless he wanted an instant replay of earlier this morning when he’d become aroused by her innocent kiss on the cheek.

“Because you look like an orange marmalade kind of woman,” he finally replied, grinning broadly.

That made her laugh and shake her head. “I’m not even going to ask what that’s supposed to mean! … But you’re right: I do like orange marmalade,” she smiled, as she picked up the marmalade toast and took a bite.

Jax continued to stare and smile at her, which suddenly made her feel very uncomfortable. “Ummm… do I have food on my face or something?” she finally asked after he’d been staring at her for what she considered far too long. She grabbed her napkin and dabbed at the corners of her mouth.

“No,” was all he said, shaking his head slowly, as he continued to smile and stare at her.

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. “Then why are you looking at me like that?” she demanded.

“Because you’re so unbelievably beautiful,” he replied truthfully.

His answer caught her by surprise and made her smile. She’d been called beautiful by countless men - in fact, Armand told her that constantly - yet she’d never felt in the least moved by any of those assessments of her. Why did the fact that Jax was attracted to her make her feel so incredibly happy and fill her with excitement and tingly anticipation?

It’s because you’re equally attracted to him, her heart sang. And she was - that was impossible for her to deny.

But he’s taken, her head reminded her. She sighed. That was also impossible for her to deny. Julia’s sister held his heart, so it was pointless to get excited about the fact that he found her attractive because nothing could ever come of it.

Besides, she had someone, too - the man who’d given her this beautiful ring. She glanced down at the ring finger of her left hand, but it was empty. Instantly, she grabbed for the chain around her neck on which she’d been wearing her ring for the past few days, but it wasn’t there. Where could it be? She couldn’t have lost it! Her ring was her only link to her past!

“Oh, god!” she panicked, quickly pushing back away from the table to jump up to go look for her beloved ring.

Jax saw the look of panic on her face and grabbed for her arm as she stood to take off without her crutches. “Hey, what’s the matter?” he asked. “Are you feeling sick again?”

“No, it’s my ring - it’s gone! I have to find it!” she answered brusquely, as she pulled away from him and once again started off without her crutches.

He once again grabbed for your arm. “Hey, your ring’s not lost,” he said, as he reached into the left front pocket of his pants and pulled out her chain with the ring on it and handed it to her. “You were tossing and turning so much the other night that I was afraid it might get tangled and choke you, so I took it off you and put it on the bedside table. I saw it while you were in the shower and I thought you’d want to put it back on as soon as possible, so I picked it up. I planned to give it to you when you came out of the shower, but I guess I just forgot about it. I’m sorry…”

She clutched the ring to her heart and heaved a sigh of relief as she sank back into her chair. “No, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have freaked like that… It’s just that this ring is my only link that I have to my past - my real past, not the past that Armand made up for me… I can’t explain it, but I know in my heart that Armand didn’t give me this ring. I believe with everything in me that the man I love and who once loved me put this ring on my finger and that he’s the same man I keep dreaming about…”

“You’re dreaming about him?” Jax asked, startled by that revelation. Why she didn’t recognize him if she was dreaming about him.

“Well, I think it’s the man who gave me this ring… I mean, I feel so loved by him in these dreams, so I’m sure we were lovers, but I can never see his face - only parts of him - and only bits and pieces of places, too…I keep hoping that if I concentrate hard enough I’ll finally see his face or hear his voice or at least recognize a place in my dreams, so that I have somewhere to start to look for him and the clues as to who I really am.” She brought the ring to her lips and kissed it reverently. “Until then, this is my only link to my past - whatever it was - and to the man I love - whoever he was…”

“Is,” Jax corrected, watching as her trembling hands tried unsuccessfully to undo the clasp on the chain.

“Huh?” His response puzzled her, and she stopped fiddling with the clasp long enough to look up at him.

“You said that ring was your link to your past and the man you love, then you added ‘whoever he was’ - past tense. I merely put it in the present tense - ‘is’ - because I know he’s still very much in love with you and waiting for you to return to him,” he explained matter-of-factly.

“You say that with such conviction. How can you possibly know that he would still love and want me after all this time?” she asked, confused that he seemed far more confident than she did about the enduring love of this man in her past.

“Here, let me,” he smiled, as he took the chain from her hands and easily undid the clasp, sliding the ring off the chain and holding it out for her. But as she reached for the ring, he surprised her by gently taking her left hand in his. “I know that the man who gave you this ring would never give up hope that you were still alive and that eventually you would find your way home to him…” he said, his voice low and soft. “I know that any man who was lucky enough to have you to fall in love with him, then slip this ring onto your finger in the first place, would never be able to forget either you or the incredible love that the two of you shared,” he whispered, as he slowly slipped the ring onto her finger.

If she only knew what this means to me - to both of us, he thought, as he brought his other hand up to hold her hand in both of his now.

His words made her melt inside. He made her melt inside. Why does he make me feel this way? She swallowed hard, trying to get control of herself, but her heart was in her throat. She’d been suffused with this wonderfully warm feeling of déjà vu as she’d listened to his incredibly sweet words and watched him carefully (and lovingly?) place her beloved ring on her finger. Inexplicably, she had tears of joy welling up in her eyes as she felt herself immediately being swept away by the sheer bliss she felt at this moment. Why does this feel so familiar and so right to me? Why does he feel so familiar and so right to me?

She suddenly felt unsettled by it all, and she quickly pulled her hand from Jax’s grasp. “I… uh… I hope you’re right - about him still remembering me and wanting me…” she stuttered, unable to look at him for the moment; afraid that all those feelings he was stirring within her would overwhelm her and she would do something foolish, like leap into his arms or kiss him again. Because those were exactly the impulses she had at the moment.

Those impulses are right; follow them! her heart urged.

But logic told her differently, and she had to be logical here. It made no sense for her to feel so drawn to this man. Granted, he’d been kinder and more generous to her than anyone she’d ever met before, but he was still just someone who had been randomly drawn into her life by fate and circumstance. He was not the man who had put this ring on her finger originally, and she was not the woman he intended to marry. He was simply helping her put her ring back on, and she was simply caught up in the moment.

She was once again misplacing her feelings for the man in her past onto Jax, and that was simply because of the probable similarity of his actions: Jax had just slipped this ring onto her finger; the same thing her fiancé had done at some point before the accident. She supposed the fact that his actions stirred such deep feelings within her was a good thing - it meant that she was likely remembering the way her fiancé made her feel.

But the fact that she was attributing those feelings to Jax was confusing for her. How could she possibly remember the man in her past when her growing feelings for Jax kept getting in the way?

Maybe she needed to leave the comfort and safety she felt here and set out on her own, as she’d always planned… Maybe then she’d be able to get Jax out of her mind and have more memories of the man who’d actually given her this ring…

She leaned back in her chair and sighed. Logic told her that leaving here and Jax was the only way to remember, but in her heart she wanted to stay, at least for a little while longer. Outside of Hattie, the cook back on the island, Jax was the closest thing to a friend she’d had since the accident. She’d had constant companions for months now, all of whom had been paid to tend to her physical needs and safety. But only Jax and Hattie had seemed to really care about her as a person - what she was actually thinking and feeling. And Jax and Hattie had done it out of the goodness of their hearts, not simply because it was their jobs to pay attention to her. In fact, Jax had more than gone out of his way to help her, and that truly touched her heart, which is why leaving now would be so hard for her.

Jax watched as Brenda appeared to be struggling with something. Was she remembering him - remembering the countless other times he’d slipped a ring onto her finger? Was she remembering the love that they shared - the covenant between them that this ring symbolized? Or was she simply struggling because all of this was too overwhelming for her - the quest for her identity, the escape, the withdrawal, the uncertainty in her fractured mind of her own past, as well as her future?

He looked over to see that she was staring out across the water now, as she slowly rubbed the fingers of her right hand over the ring. He noticed that she appeared far more relaxed than she had just moments ago, and he wondered if it was the serenity of the view or the familiarity of the ring that had helped to calm her down? He remembered that she had said that the ring had been her touchstone since she’d awakened from the coma, and he could see now that it was also her balm when she was anxious or afraid. She evidently felt the strength of their love emanating from that ring; he wondered why she couldn’t feel that same love emanating from him, as well?

Or maybe she did feel his love and that was confusing her. Because, after all, she still saw him as the stranger who’d befriended her and helped her; she had no idea that he was so much more to her and that she was so much more to him - that she was his life. He wanted so much for her to remember who she was and who he was to her - what they were to each other - that he found himself pushing her, showing her more of his feelings for her than she was evidently ready to accept. Maybe he was pushing her too hard to remember their past together; maybe he was doing more harm than good. Maybe he just needed to back off a little again; go back to being the friendly stranger she thought he was, rather than the excited fiancé he really was.

“So, would you like anything else to eat?” he finally asked, deciding that now might be a good time to change to a far more innocuous subject between them and take the pressure off her to remember.

She didn’t hear his question, as she was deep into her own world now. She’d just had a flash of images go through her mind, but it made no sense to her. She could see a cake, then she saw herself licking frosting off her own fingers and a man’s too - and the ring - the ring on her finger was there, too, and the man was holding it up for her to see! This has to be a memory! she thought excitedly.

She appeared to be frozen, as she stared, trancelike, straight ahead. She didn’t even appear to be breathing and that scared him. Was this a reaction to withdrawal? “Are you okay?” he asked anxiously, shaking her arm gently as he tried to rouse her from her reverie.

His raised voice and his gentle shaking of her arm brought her immediately back into the moment. “Hmmm? Oh, yeah… I’m sorry, I guess I… uh, spaced there for a minute… I’m fine though - I really am… Just a little tired still,” she sputtered, deciding against sharing more with him. Besides, her explanation wasn’t entirely a lie; she was still incredibly tired.

“That’s understandable - you’ve been through hell and back over the past couple of days,” Jax replied, fighting his urge to take her hand back into his again. His voice softened and cracked slightly as he added: “There were so many times when I wasn’t sure you were even going to make it…”

Why does he seem to care so much for me? she wondered.

Because no one wants to watch someone die - even a stranger, logic told her, and she knew that was true. But still, the emotion in his voice and the genuine pain in his eyes made it seem to her as if he had genuinely deep feelings for her. Certainly his feelings for her, as well as hers for him, seemed beyond the normal for two strangers brought together by circumstance - even these incredible circumstances.

That’s because you want him to have deep feelings for you, she thought - and she did. At this moment she felt more of a connection with him than she had with any other person since the accident. And that seemed illogical to her. Sure, in the brief time they’d been together he’d saved her life not once, but twice, which would make her have strong feelings of gratitude toward him, but she’d felt grateful to Armand as well for saving her life and that had felt nothing like this. What she was feeling for Jax at this very moment was unlike anything she had ever felt before - or at least anything she could remember feeling before…

… Except in her dreams…

… With the man that she loved…

Am I falling in love with Jax? Is that why I feel like this toward him?

That possibility startled her. She couldn’t be falling for him… Could she?

No! Logic told her that she couldn’t possibly be falling in love with him. They’d just met, for heaven’s sake! Despite the drama that had brought them together in the first place and continued to keep them together now, they barely knew one another. It was impossible to fall in love so quickly and effortlessly with a perfect stranger - wasn’t it?

A perfect stranger…

Perfect…Yeah, that really is the right word to describe Jax, isn’t it? she thought, nearly sighing as she gazed up into his impossibly handsome face to find him smiling at her again; his crystal blue eyes twinkling with delight at some secret amusement known only to him; his sensual mouth turned up in an incredibly sexy smile, revealing the most perfect white teeth she’d ever seen.

Her gaze slowly drifted lower to his chest, and she suddenly remembered how wonderful and powerful his chest looked when she’d seen him earlier as he’d stepped out of the shower.

How wonderful and powerful his entire body looked…

Her vision from the shower suddenly flashed into her head again, and she instantly felt a sensual warmth rush through her. But then in the next instant she felt her entire body involuntarily shudder, and she was instantly wracked with a series of tremors.

It looked to Jax as if she was having a convulsion. “Oh, god!” he gasped, immediately pushing her chair back from the table so he could get to her. “Are you okay?” he asked anxiously, as he knelt on the deck in front of her.

She tried to answer, but she couldn’t; her body was shaking too hard and she could barely breathe, let alone speak. Then, as suddenly as it had started, it stopped, leaving her exhausted and weak; she collapsed forward, exhausted and gasping for breath.

Jax wrapped his arms around her and held her tenderly. He had hoped that the hell she’d gone through over the past two nights had been the worst of it, but what he’d just witnessed made him realize that this was far from over. This was definitely more than they could handle alone. Brenda needed medical help, and she needed it now.

Saying nothing, he held her for several moments until her breathing returned to normal, then he offered quietly: “I know that you wanted to go through this alone, without any medical help, but I don’t think we can risk that any longer.”

Her answer was an emphatic “No!” as she jerked upright in the chair with a strength that surprised both her and Jax. She took a deep breath to calm herself, then she continued: “One way or another I’ll make it through this - it may not be pretty, and it definitely won’t be easy, but I’ll survive this… But I won’t survive Armand tracing me through some doctor or hospital - and that would happen if you insist that I get medical help… Armand is a very rich and powerful man, with a network of allies in nearly every field and in nearly every corner of the world, and he can find out anything about anyone when he’s properly motivated - and I can guarantee that he’s very motivated to find me right now! And all it would take is one little data entry with my name or my description on it.”

She took a deep breath and her tone softened as she continued: “Listen, I can understand if this is too much for you. You’ve already done more than enough for me as it is; I can’t continue to ask you to help me anymore… So, if I can just use the phone, I’ll call a cab and be out of here - and your life - within the hour,” she announced, as she shakily reached for her crutches to do just that.

“No, you can’t leave!” Jax cried, as he knocked her crutches out of her reach.

His outburst and the pleading tone of his voice surprised her.

Jax saw the shocked look on her face, and he realized that he had overreacted. “I’m sorry,” he apologized, immediately picking the crutches up and leaning them back against a nearby chair, where Brenda could easily reach them. “I shouldn’t have done that… It’s just that…” (…I can’t let you leave me again.) “…you don’t need to leave… I want…” (…you with me always…) “…to help you in any way that I can… I couldn’t…” (…make it another day without you…) “…stand the thought of you out there alone and sick, with no one to turn to… Let me be your friend and help you through everything - the withdrawal, remembering your past…” (…remembering us and our love…) “…charting your future…” (…our future together…)

She was stunned and nearly moved to tears by his sweet words and sincere tone. He was so incredibly sweet and so unbelievably warm and caring. How had she been so lucky to stumble into this man’s life?

Jax watched as a plethora of emotions played across Brenda’s beautiful face. That was one of the many things he’d always loved about her: the expressiveness of her face, especially her eyes. Everything that she felt in her heart was usually reflected in her eyes, and right now he could see that she was both grateful and perplexed by his offer.

“Jax…” she began, and Jax knew from her tone that she was once again set to protest his helping her more, so he held his hand up.

“Hey, how about we drop this for now?” he offered, a small smile playing on his lips. “You stay until you’re stronger - much stronger - and I promise not to try to coerce you into going to the hospital again. I’ll let you tell me if you need anything, and I’ll simply sit back and relax and enjoy myself - and my vacation - from this point on…Is that a deal?” he asked, grabbing her right hand in his and giving her a brief handshake.

She sighed as she looked down at their joined hands, then she shook her head and laughed softly, “Why do I get the feeling that you’re used to getting your way?”

“Well, I’m known for both my persistence and my perseverance,” Jax smiled, still holding tightly to her hand. “And I can be most persuasive when I’m after something I really want…” (I really want you…)

His words and the suggestive way he’d said them surprised Brenda. Her heart began beating wildly again, but she knew that this time it had nothing to do with her body’s reactions to her Vicodin withdrawal. No, this little cardiac episode had everything to do with Jax and the way he was looking at her right now and the incredible way he made her feel - all warm and tingly and nearly giddy with an excitement she couldn’t really understand. I really want you, Jax, her heart seemed to be beating out in staccato rhythm.

But he’s not yours for the taking, her head reminded her. He’s not available; and likely, neither are you.

She glanced down at the ring on her finger, then back up at Jax, and her heart and face fell as she realized that was the truth. And for the first time since she’d begun to have the memory flashes and started this trek to find her past, she wished that there was no one “out there somewhere” who might still want her and love her because she suddenly was very aware of where she wanted to be - here with Jax, at least for now… and maybe even forever… But it didn’t matter what her heart wanted because she knew that it was foolhardy and just plain wrong for her to even consider that possibility.

But how could she rein in these burgeoning feelings for him? She felt out-of-control around him. Just being near him made her body and heart long for things that her mind couldn’t remember, and that confused and confounded her. She wished she could just numb herself so she didn’t have to feel this way! God, she’d give anything for a pill right now!

Jax watched as Brenda’s face clouded. She’d been smiling and happy one minute; then instantly upset the next. Was it the withdrawal wreaking havoc with her emotions or was it something else? He hadn’t had the chance to do research on the specific subject of Vicodin withdrawal, but he did know that drug dependency of any kind could seriously affect one’s mind, as well as one’s body. So maybe it was the drugs that was causing her this obvious emotional pain.

His heart broke for her, and he wanted nothing more than to pull her into his arms and kiss away the hurt - both emotional and physical - that she was feeling right now, but he knew that was a bad idea. Besides, he’d just promised her that he wouldn’t interfere and that he’d wait for her to ask if she needed anything.

They sat in silence for several minutes, each caught up in their own whirlwind of thoughts and emotions; he, fighting his urge to simply blurt out the truth of this whole situation so that they could quickly get on with their love and their lives; and she, fighting this incredible and unsettling attraction to Jax that she could feel growing with each passing minute.

Finally, she pulled her hand back from his as she spoke: “I appreciate everything you’ve done for me since I dropped into your life. I’ve turned your world upside down in so many ways, yet you continue to astound me with your kindness and your generosity; even now, asking me to stay, when we both know that showing me the door would be the easiest - and smartest - thing you could do for yourself… I may have made it through the worst of withdrawal - and I thank you from the bottom of my heart for being there every step of the way with me these last few days because I know I probably wouldn’t be here now if it hadn’t been for you - but we both know that I’m not going to get through this in just a matter of a few days - maybe not even a few weeks…” She took a deep sigh as she added: “…Maybe never…”

“Hey, you’re strong; you can beat this!” Jax interrupted.

“I plan to beat it,” she replied matter-of-factly. “I’ve overcome worse things than this, but I’m trying to be realistic here with you: This may all get a lot uglier before this is over… And my drug addiction isn’t even the worst of what you’re likely to see if I stay here for very long,” she continued. “There’s also Armand to contend with…”

Now it was Jax’s turn to be matter-of-fact. “I can handle him,” he declared resolutely.

“Jax, I have no doubt that you’re a very resourceful man - You’ve proved that to me time and again in just the short time I’ve known you - but I wasn’t exaggerating when I told you that Armand is dangerous… In fact, he’s not just dangerous; he can be deadly. He’s an arms dealer, for heaven’s sake! He deals in death and destruction as a matter of routine - it’s his business to kill! He’d swat you down like a fly if he ever found out about any of this - It wouldn’t matter that I coerced you into helping me in the first place; like I said before, he’d see anyone who helped me get away from him as an enemy to be taken out.”

“Then it’s best that you stay here, isn’t it? Let me be the only one to help you - Minimize the collateral damage that way,” Jax pointed out. He saw that she was once again set to argue, so he added: “I want to help you … with overcoming your addiction… finding your past… avoiding Cordoba…”

She sighed. “Even if Armand weren’t a factor here, I can’t continue to involve you in my life and in my problems… Sooner or later I have to learn to stand on my own; otherwise, I’m simply switching crutches to help me make it through the day - substituting you for the pain pills.”

“You see me as being a crutch for you?” Jax asked, hurt that she’d see his help and concern for her in such a negative light.

“No - not yet - and I don’t think that’s your intention in the least… But I can see myself letting you become that for me - especially if we stay together much longer,” she answered truthfully. “Listen, Jax, you are such a good and caring and wonderful man… just the kind of man that I hope put this ring on my finger originally… And I can see myself already… (…falling in love with you…) … leaning on you far more than is healthy for either one of us… We’ve only been together for a few short days, and already I feel… (…like I want to be with you always…) … that I’m too dependent on you… I agree that I’m probably not strong enough to leave here yet and strike out on my own, but I think that while I am here and trying to regain my strength that you need to stand back and allow me to do as much as possible for myself. I think that also means we need to be maintain our distance from one another - you can’t be at my side all the time. You have to take care of yourself and your needs and let me take care of mine…”

Jax sat quietly absorbing everything she’d just said and feeling slightly in awe of the woman she’d become since he’d last seen her. When he’d first met Brenda all those years ago, she’d been little more than a girl in a woman’s body - fragile, needy, insecure. But he’d fallen in love with her anyway, possibly because she was all those things. Then, as their relationship evolved and she felt more secure in their love, she’d gradually matured into the self-assured woman she was at the time of the accident, and his love for her had grown as well. But there was still a fragility about her even then. But not anymore… Her experiences over the last two years had evidently given her the inner strength that she’d always sought, and her words just now proved that. And he felt himself loving her now more than he ever thought possible.

But despite the fact that what she’d just proposed made sense, it still was not what he wanted to hear. He wanted to be here for her, to help her in any way that he could - in fact, he needed to do that, for his own sake, as well as hers. But he couldn’t tell her that without explaining why that was. He didn’t see that as being a crutch for her, but he could see how she could perceive it that way, given that she couldn’t remember him or their relationship. So, he’d do as she wanted: back off and allow her to pull herself through this as much as possible. Still, he planned to be nearby to catch her if she fell completely…

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a smart woman? - Brave, too,” Jax smiled.

Brenda gave a small laugh at that. “No, at least not that I can remember...” She sighed again then as she added: “I have to admit that I don’t feel very brave right now - In fact, I’m scared to death… Scared to move forward, yet afraid to stand still… Scared that the past I want so desperately to find is better left behind me, untouched and forgotten… Scared that my future will consist of forever craving another pill or constantly looking over my shoulder for Armand to find me…”

“Everybody’s scared sometimes,” Jax replied quietly. “But we get through those times by reaching out to… (the people who love us…) … the people around us and letting them lend their support when we need it most…”

She sat quietly for a moment, considering what he’d just said. She knew that he was right: sometimes you did need to reach out to someone else, and at this very moment she wanted nothing more than to reach out to him. But she also knew that would cause more problems than it solved because of the way she was beginning to feel about him. He made her feel things for him that she’d only felt before for the man in her dreams, and the more she was around him the more confused she became about those feelings. Maybe these feelings were simply due to her addiction and the way her mind and body were reacting to no longer getting the pills… Or maybe she was developing genuine feelings for him, despite the fact that they barely knew one another… She didn’t know which was true - maybe neither was true; all she did know was that she needed to keep her distance from him for the time being, while she tried to sort out what was real and what was imagined here, especially where he was concerned. But she couldn’t very well tell him that now, could she?

“That’s true, and I appreciate the support you’ve given me from the start, despite the horrendous things I did to you,” she finally said, “but please try to understand that for now - at least for the next few hours - what I need most is to be by myself and to try to sort this out by on my own.” She reached for the crutches and stood, then slowly moved past Jax and headed back inside the house.

Jax watched in stunned silence as Brenda hobbled away. He hated that she wanted this time apart; he felt like he was losing her all over again. They’d already spent far too much apart as it was, and, in his opinion, this was the time that she needed him the most. Of course, he realized that she had no idea that they’d ever been together in the first place, let alone apart for two long years, so she didn’t feel this incredible ache whenever they weren’t within arm’s reach of one another now, as he did.

Given that fact, a part of him actually understood her need for solitude now. In her fractured mind, he was still no more than a stranger to her, so he supposed she was understandably reluctant to share this struggle involving the most intimate details of her life: her addiction, her relationship with Cordoba, her elusive past, and her uncertain future. He imagined that she felt overwhelmed by it all, so maybe this time apart would help her find some inner peace.

He just wished it didn’t make him feel so uneasy. For some reason he couldn’t shake the feeling that all the progress he’d made in gaining her trust and spurring her memories was about to all go down the drain…

Hattie Winston paused at the first of the large, flat rocks that served as crude steps to the century-old stone church and gazed up at the simple wooden cross that sat atop its steepled roof. Since she was just a girl, this place had been her sanctuary in good times and bad, but today she felt a renewed appreciation for the inner peace it always offered her because inner peace was eluding her now.

She’d been beside herself with worry since the moment she’d learned that Miss Veronica had disappeared; not worried for herself, as she knew that her life and her job were both secure, but for both Kirby and Miss Veronica. She’d been praying nonstop that God would keep them both safe from harm, wherever they each were - and especially safe from Mr. Cordoba’s fiery wrath and his considerable reach.

She hadn’t known Kirby Johnson or Miss Veronica or Mr. Cordoba long - just a little less than a year, actually - but she’d been able to size them all up in that short time. She knew that Kirby Johnson was no kidnapper and had played no part whatsoever in Miss Veronica’s disappearance, other than to allow his raging hormones and wandering eye to distract him from his job of watching her. But she also knew that wouldn’t matter to Mr. Cordoba; he’d hurt Kirby just the same once he got his hands on him - and she had no doubt that Mr. Cordoba would get his hands on him eventually. Even jail wouldn’t keep Kirby safe from Mr. Cordoba’s considerable reach and his even more considerable anger.

And Miss Veronica… That girl had been through enough trauma in her young life without adding this to it. Hattie shuddered to think what Mr. Cordoba would do to that poor girl if he caught her… Especially when he figured out that Miss Veronica had performed this vanishing act all on her own.

It hadn’t taken Hattie long to figure that out, once she’d thought back over everything that had happened that morning that Miss Veronica disappeared. She should have suspected that something was up that morning because Miss Veronica had been as jumpy as a toad all morning long; whereas market day was the one day that Miss Veronica was usually relaxed and happy. And all the other signs were there as well: the extra food that she took with her; the nondescript clothes she’d worn and even the straw hat she’d bought that morning and put on, both of which served to help hide her spectacular beauty; and even the length of time she’d lingered over her iced tea that day should have told Hattie that something was up with the girl. But, instead, Hattie had been too busy to notice. Just as Kirby had been too preoccupied with his love life to notice. And now that she thought about it, she was sure that was exactly what Miss Veronica had been counting on all along.

She’d always known that Miss Veronica had a shrewd brain in that beautiful head of hers; she just hoped now that she’d finally used it to get away from Mr. Cordoba that she’d continue to use it to elude him because Hattie knew that it wouldn’t be long before Mr. Cordoba also figured out that Miss Veronica had run away on her own. Then Mr. Cordoba would use his considerable money and power to track her down, even to the ends of the earth, and once he found her…

She shuddered as she thought about what that man might do to that poor girl when he finally found her, and she quickly climbed the steps to the church, suddenly in need of the sanctuary it offered her. She only prayed that Kirby and Miss Veronica would be able to find sanctuary, too…

It was very early Sunday morning, and Beth Weston hummed as she drove down Interstate 5 toward LAX. She normally slept in on weekends, but this was a special day, and she wanted to pack as much into it as she possibly could. Even the accident up ahead, which was causing gridlock on a day when traffic was normally light, couldn’t dampen her good mood. Soon, she’d be winging her way to paradise to be with an incredible man who could secure the kind of future for her that she had always dreamed about. Nothing and no one was going to bring her down today.

She was flying to meet Jax a day earlier than he expected, but she wanted to surprise him, especially since he had surprised her with a Lear at her disposal rather than making her fly commercial. He really was pampering her, and she planned to pamper him in return once they were finally together. And now that she had a little better handle on who Jax really was and what he really seemed to like, she was even more sure she knew exactly what to do in order to meet his every need.

She’d spent the past 24 hours doing her homework on Jasper Jacks, researching everything that she could find on the man, and the more she’d read the more she’d realized that she had never really known the man, despite the fact that they’d gone out several times. He’d always been guarded about his private life, so their conversations had been light and limited, mainly about whatever meal they had eaten, or whatever fundraiser they’d attended, or the latest gossip about those in their shared social set. And she realized now, upon reflection that, although there had rarely been a lull in the conversation when they’d been together, she had been the one who had carried most of those conversations.

How ironic that she - the psychiatrist, whose job it was to get others to talk about themselves, while keeping her comments to a minimum - had been the one who had happily and readily told him anything and everything he’d asked about her and much that he hadn’t asked, as well. He, on the other hand, had smiled a lot and made witty comments here and there, making it appear that he’d been interested in her revelations and that he was holding up his end of their conversations. But he hadn’t.

So, while he’d been learning everything there was to know about her, from what her favorite food was to what her secret vices were, she had learned next to nothing about him, other than the obvious: that he was fabulously rich, devastatingly handsome, devilishly charming, and extremely generous to those causes in which he believed. And she could have found out all of that simply from talking to their mutual friends and watching him at parties.

She’d met Jasper Jacks at a fundraising gala to benefit breast cancer research in New York City several years before. He’d caught her eye the moment he’d walked into the affair - dateless and arguably the handsomest man there - and she had made a point of finding out who he was almost immediately and then making sure that he noticed her, as well. Of course, getting him to notice her hadn’t been all that difficult. She was a beautiful woman with amazing assets, and she knew how to dress to accentuate every one of those assets.

That evening she’d looked absolutely stunning in a snug-fitting, white beaded, strapless Versace gown that had caught the light at every angle and had barely stayed up when she walked or moved. The dress had scandalized her father and new stepmother, whom Beth hated, which is one reason that Beth had chosen that particular gown for that particular evening.

Beth’s father, Thomas Weston, and his new bride of just a year, Meredith Anderson Weston, had been the honorary co-chairs of that evening’s event. It had been Meredith’s debut within the arena of social charities, and she’d been particularly anxious about the event - especially since Beth’s late mother had successfully chaired the event for the last few years of her life. So Beth had decided she would do whatever she could to make her new stepmother’s debut a “memorable” occasion.

Meredith Anderson - a social-climbing ex-secretary who was just 7 years older than Beth - had married Beth’s father, financier Thomas Weston, just 3 months after Beth’s mother, Arlene Moore Weston, had died following a lengthy battle with breast cancer. That to Beth was something that was far more scandalous than any dress could ever be, no matter how inappropriately low-cut or tight the dress might be. But it seemed that no one else held that particular view. In fact, the Long Island social elite, to which the Westons had belonged for generations, had immediately embraced this bourgeois usurper of Arlene Weston’s status and place at Thomas Weston’s side as the rightful heir to both Arlene’s fortune and her social position, including the chairs of the very charities she had supported so passionately in her lifetime.

Everyone, that was, except Beth. She had known better. She’d known that Meredith Anderson’s true blue-collar colors and rough edges would eventually show through the patina of well-mannered respectability with which she’d tried so desperately to cloak herself since her marriage to Thomas Weston. Beth had just needed to find the right impetus to tarnish that false persona, and that dress that night had seemed the perfect combination to bring her stepmother’s lower class roots and temper to the surface for all to see.

Unfortunately, despite appearing upset that Beth’s assets were so amply displayed that evening, her stepmother had not made the scene that Beth had expected and hoped for. Instead, she’d pasted on that artificial smile of hers as she’d welcomed Beth and thanked her for coming, then she’d sent Beth’s father to lambaste her for embarrassing them all, including her dead mother, by wearing a dress that was far too revealing for such a serious occasion as that. That incident had driven a wedge between Beth and her father that existed to this very day.

However, that dress had succeeded on another, far more interesting front: it had attracted the attention of every straight male in the place that night, which is the other reason she’d worn the dress. Jasper Jacks had been one of those men whose eye she had caught that evening. And he was the only man to whom she’d paid any attention after she’d made a point of wangling an introduction to him.

They’d spent much of the rest of the evening together, chatting and mingling with the other guests. She’d been impressed by his knowledge of the background of both that particular charity and the cause for which it was raising money and awareness. He’d not gone simply because it was an opportunity to be seen with other movers and shakers, as most everyone else who was there had; he’d truly believed in the work that was being done by that charity.

They had gone out a few times after that, even taking a couple of trips in his private jet, but he had always seemed to keep her at arm’s length. Beth had loved the time they’d spent together and had been certain that he would eventually become interested in her as more than a friend or a passing fling, but, despite her best attempts to seduce him, he had appeared only mildly amused, though barely aroused, by her machinations. And they’d never even made it to the fling stage before he’d simply disappeared from her life altogether.

She’d found out later that he’d gotten married just weeks after their last date, and she’d gotten married herself just months after she’d gotten that disappointing news. She’d never before realized how unsettled she’d been by the news of his nuptials, and she supposed that, in retrospect, her quickie marriage to Nathan Maxwell had been an obvious overreaction to Jax’s unexpected marriage to Brenda Barrett. Unfortunately, her marriage to Nathan had been anything but a love match; whereas, everything she’d been able to find about Jax’s relationship with Brenda Barrett indicated that she had been the love of his life and that that they had been very much in love when she’d died.

Of course, her recent research into Jax’s personal history had yielded a gold mine of other information, as well, including the fact that Ms. Brenda Barrett had been very much in love with another man, Michael “Sonny” Corinthos, Jr., when she’d married Jax, and that Corinthos had played a very large role in dismantling Jax and Brenda’s relationship, then nearly destroying Brenda’s life altogether by leaving her at the altar. But apparently Jax’s unwavering love for Brenda had helped pull her through that devastating time in her life. And she’d eventually come to her senses and realized that she’d always loved Jax and asked him to marry her that time around. They’d been all set to live happily ever after when she’d been killed in a car crash just weeks after they’d finally reconciled. Tough luck for them then, but such good fortune for Beth now.

And her research had also revealed that Jax was still very single, despite a half-hearted affair with a marginally talented fashion designer for the past several months, which seemed to have fizzled before it even started. And that had been his only liaison since his wife’s disappearance, so Beth saw the designer as the rebound woman, which meant that Jax had likely worked through his pain over his wife’s death and could move on now without guilt.

She’d learned some very interesting things in her research on Jax and his late wife, and Beth planned to use every bit of it to her advantage to get him to fall for her as quickly and as assuredly as he had Brenda Barrett. It wouldn’t be true love, as everyone seemed to think that he’d had with Brenda Barrett, but it would be a good marriage, nonetheless. She’d make sure he never got bored in the bedroom, and he’d make sure that she never had to live beneath her considerably high standards for the rest of her life.

And in Beth’s mind, that was a match made in heaven…

Armand Cordoba scowled as he waited outside the office of the Nassau commissioner of police. He was not used to having to wait for anything or anyone, and this particular wait was making him especially angry, as he’d been relegated to remain here by a lowly clerk who evidently didn’t know who he was. Of course, to be fair it wasn’t simply this wait that was bringing his volatile temper to the surface; it was the situation that had brought him here in the first place: Veronica’s disappearance while under Kirby Johnson’s supervision.

Ever since he’d first gotten word in Angola that Veronica had disappeared, he’d been trying to piece together what had happened. The first thing that occurred to him was that she’d been grabbed by an enemy, but Kirby had been unharmed; Armand knew that any enemy of his would have taken Kirby out in an instant, either to send him a message or simply for sport.

His second thought had been that Jasper Jacks had somehow found out that his fiancée was alive and had snatched her out from under Kirby’s very nose, but then Armand had found out about the money missing from his desk. Jacks would take Veronica all right, but he’d have no need of the money. Besides, the last he’d heard - and this had been less than a week before - Jacks was still happily involved with some low-level fashion designer. If he’d had the slightest idea that Brenda Barrett was still alive, he wouldn’t be involved with someone else.

That left a third option, and it was the one that ate at Armand most of all - Veronica had stolen the money and used it to somehow escape on her own.

He hadn’t come to this conclusion lightly. First there was the information from his own security chief about the missing money, as well as the missing .22 caliber handgun he kept locked in his desk. Although it was conceivable that Kirby could have stolen the money, it was just as inconceivable that he would have taken the gun as well. All of Armand’s security personnel carried 9 mm Glocks, a far more powerful weapon than the.22, so it made no sense that Kirby was the one who’d taken the money, the weapon, or Veronica. But it made perfect sense to him that Veronica would have taken the gun and the money if she’d staged her own disappearance.

Then there was the circumstantial evidence that the police had gathered against Kirby. When he’d called here to the police while still en route from Angola, the chief of police had informed him of that evidence, which included the fact that Kirby had cleared out his bank account just hours after Veronica’s disappearance, as well Kirby’s fingerprints covering Veronica’s discarded tote bag. The police chief had also revealed the contents of that tote bag, which included her hair and the scissors used to cut off her hair. The police said that Kirby’s fingerprints were the ones uppermost on the those scissors, which they saw (along with the emptied bank account and his subsequent flight from the country) as the smoking gun as far as Kirby was concerned. But Armand was just as sure that Kirby was not guilty of anything beyond inexcusable incompetence for letting Veronica out of his sight in the first place, and he planned his own brand of punishment for Kirby Johnson for that particular crime once he got him released from here this morning.

No, in his gut he knew that Veronica had disappeared of her own free will, and that thought both sickened and angered him, especially in light of the fact that he was the one who had pulled back the security from her in the first place, which gave her the opportunity to run. She had lulled him into believing that she was falling in love with him, but as he looked back now he realized that she’d been playing him all along. She hadn’t suddenly begun to love him, as he’d allowed himself to believe. No, she’d simply needed for him to think that so that he’d let his guard down low enough and long enough for her to make her escape. And he’d played right into her hands!

But she wouldn’t be gone for long. He already had a vast network of associates searching for her, and one way or another, he would eventually find her and bring her back to him. And once he had her back he’d make certain that she never got away from him again. Because no one took anything from him without his permission, and, like it or not, she was his - now and forever.

The door to the commissioner’s office finally opened, bringing Armand out of his contemplation, and he looked up to see the embarrassed clerk who’d forced him to wait here in the first place run past him, his head downcast. Then the commissioner himself appeared at the door. “Mr. Cordoba, I am so sorry to keep you waiting,” he apologized, as he held the door open wide and gestured for Armand to come in, which he did. “What is it that I can do for you today?” the commissioner asked anxiously, as he closed the door behind them.

Kirby Johnson sat staring nervously at the pale green block that comprised three of the four walls of the interrogation room to which he’d just been brought yet again. He’d been back in the Bahamas for nearly a day now, and he’d spent most of that time in this very room as the police grilled him for hours on end about Veronica Devereaux’s disappearance, Armand Cordoba’s missing $10,000, and his own subsequent disappearance from the islands.

He’d pleaded his innocence time and again, trying to explain why his fingerprints covered Ms. Devereaux’s discarded tote bag and why he’d felt the need to clean out his own bank account and run, assuming an alias in the process, but it seemed the more he told the story, the less real it sounded, even to himself. He’d finally stopped talking altogether and asked for legal representation, but that hadn’t stopped the police from dragging him out of his cell and back here simply to harass him some more, it seemed.

He yawned and tried to stretch as best he could, handcuffed to the table as he was now. He was exhausted. He’d had less than six hours of sleep in the past 48 hours, and it appeared that he wouldn’t be getting much sleep in the near future either. The police seemed intent on harassing him until he confessed to something he didn’t do.

He wondered where the hell his lawyer was or a representative from the American consulate, for that matter. He’d asked for representation hours ago, but he had yet to see anyone offering him the least bit of legal protection and that worried him. Had Mr. Cordoba put pressure on the police to delay calling the consulate or a lawyer for him until after he saw him? That thought scared him!

“Hey!” he yelled at the top of his lungs, pounding his free hand on the table in front of him. “I want a lawyer - now! Hey! I’m an American citizen! You can’t hold me like this! I know my rights! Somebody get in here nowwww!”

The door flew open and a uniformed officer stepped in, carrying the clothes that Kirby had been wearing when he’d been arrested. “This is your lucky day, Mr. Johnson,” he said, as he handed a surprised Kirby his belongings. “It seems that all of this was for nothing. It appears that Ms. Devereaux was never kidnapped and isn’t even missing any longer, which means you are free to go.”

He unlocked the handcuffs that held Kirby to the table, then handed him a paper and a pen. “This is the paperwork for your release, Mr. Johnson. You just need to sign here and here and here -” He pointed to the three lines marked with ‘X’. “- then I’ll take you to another room where you can change back into your own clothes. Then I’ll take you down to the property room, where you can pick up the other items you had with you at the time of your arrest.”

He was free! Kirby was both relieved and dumbfounded. Ms. Devereuax was no longer missing? He knew that she had to have been serious about disappearing, given the lengths to which she had gone - including cutting off her beautiful hair - so why would she simply come back? This made no sense to him…

Unless…

Unless Mr. Cordoba had found her and dragged her back, kicking and screaming. And that meant that Mr. Cordoba would come for him next because he was the one who’d allowed her to escape in the first place. He needed to get out of here and fast!

He quickly signed on the lines the officer had indicated. “I want to get changed and out of here now!” Kirby said, as he handed the pen back to the officer. He suddenly felt panicky, as he realized that his one chance to still escape Cordoba was if he left the police station immediately and disappeared completely this time.

“Of course, just follow me,” the officer said, as he headed toward the door and opened it.

Unfortunately for Kirby things went from best case scenario to worst in the blink of an eye: there standing on the other side of the door was Armand Cordoba himself. “Hello, Kirby. I’ve come to take you home,” Cordoba greeted him, as he waltzed inside, a bright smile plastered on his face.

But the bright smile on Cordoba’s lips didn’t match the malevolent glint in the man’s eyes, and Kirby knew all too well which one signaled the man’s actual state of mind. Suddenly Kirby longed to be back in his jail cell because the prospect of facing a judge and jury, despite being falsely accused of kidnapping Veronica Devereaux, was far less terrifying than having to face Armand Cordoba now…

She closed the sliding glass door that led from the master suite out onto the deck and slowly walked toward the railing. She’d left the crutches inside, deciding now was as good a time as any to test the strength of her injured ankle, and so far so good, although she doubted that she was ready to walk down that long set of stairs out front or go for a long stroll on the beach either. But it felt good to be rid of those cumbersome crutches.

Those cumbersome crutches…

She thought back to the conversation that she’d had with Jax that morning about her using him as a crutch, and she instantly felt bad. He’d been hurt by that comment, and she wished she could take it back because she hadn’t meant it as a jab at him, despite how it had sounded. It had been a jab at herself.

She might be fuzzy about a lot of things in her life, but she knew enough about herself to know that dependency of any sort was too easy for her. She’d allowed herself to depend on Armand and the drugs from the moment she’d awakened from the coma, and it wasn’t until she’d begun having the dreams that she’d had the strength to even try to stand alone.

But that’s when she’d somehow landed herself squarely in Jax’s sphere, and he’d helped her so much in the short time they’d been together - and she truly appreciated that - but she could feel herself being drawn more and more to him with each passing moment. And she knew herself well enough to know that it wouldn’t be long before she was as hooked on him as she’d been on the pills that she was trying to shake now - only the way she was already feeling about Jax, she knew that if they were together much longer that she’d never have the willpower to give him up.

Give him up? He’s never been yours in the first place; he belongs to Julia’s sister, her head reminded her.

Julia’s sister… Those words were as bitter as bile to her… She’d never met the woman - didn’t even know her name - yet she hated her just the same, and there was something not right about that. And it was all because of this incredible, undeniable attraction she felt to Jax - and there was something not right about that either. She didn’t believe in love at first sight.

- Or at least she didn’t think she did…

But she supposed it didn’t matter because it couldn’t be love that she was feeling for him; more likely lust. And that was a good thing because lust could be controlled, but love… Well, that was something altogether different… Because when the heart wanted something it was hard to ignore.

You want Jax, her heart whispered then, as if to taunt her.

“No, I don’t!” she announced aloud, her outburst startling a flock of nearby seagulls and sending them skittering skyward. “I want my health back and my memories back - and maybe even the man from my past back - but I don’t want Jax!”

You do, her stubborn heart whispered again.

“This is just ridiculous,” she sighed, shaking her head as she slowly walked the short distance to a nearby chaise lounge and sat down. “I’m arguing with myself over something that is clearly a non-issue. Jax is taken, and - if I really am starting to get my memory back - so am I. So, it makes no sense for me to even think about Jax in any context, other than as a friend,” she declared resolutely, as she swung her legs up onto the chaise and settled her torso firmly against its pillowed back.

“…Okay, a good friend,” she amended, as she tilted the head of the chaise back to a semi-reclining position.

“Who am I kidding? … A very, very good friend…” she sighed, as she closed her eyes against the glare of the late afternoon sun. “But I can’t let my feelings for him get in the way of what and who I really need - to find my past and the man in my dreams…”

Jax knew that he had promised to give her some privacy, but he couldn’t stay away from her any longer. He’d been watching her from the master bedroom as she’d relaxed in the late afternoon sun just outside on the deck. Since the tremor incident earlier that morning, he’d been afraid to leave her alone, despite her insistence that they keep their distance. He was afraid something worse lay ahead for her as her body slowly freed itself of the toxic effects the drugs had taken. Besides, they had already been apart far too long as it was, making even this minor separation of a couple of hours seem like forever, so once she’d drifted off to sleep he’d gone outside to once again be near her.

He stood beside her, simply watching her as she slept. She looked so beautiful, and he had to try hard to resist the urge to kiss her, then scoop her up into his arms and hold her as he had done so often when they’d been together before. Instead, he settled quietly onto the chaise beside her, content to simply be near her as she slept. Besides, he knew her body needed this rest. But even now, as she slept, she continued to twitch restlessly; he knew that her body was still craving the drugs, and he could see the toll that was taking on her. He also hoped that she’d have one of those dreams she’d spoken about in which she was sure that she was seeing the man who’d loved her in the past, and he hoped that this time she’d finally be able to see that he was that man who’d loved her in the past, just as he loved her in the present and would always love her in the future. Her heart seemed to sense that; now if only her conscious mind would, as well…

He leaned back on the lounge, as his mind quickly drifted back to the last conversation they’d had before she’d come out here to once again be alone…

They’d spent the hours after breakfast apart, as Brenda had wanted, but she’d relented to eating a late lunch together on the deck. Well, at least he’d eaten; she’d barely touched anything…

“Is something wrong?” he’d asked, after watching her move the same orange section from her fruit salad around on her plate for several minutes, as she stared morosely out into the Gulf.

“Hmmm?” she’d answered distractedly, never turning her attention from the water.

“I asked if something was wrong,” he’d repeated. “You’ve barely eaten anything, and you’ve spent the past several minutes just staring off into the horizon.”

“Sorry,” she’d apologized, giving him just the hint of a smile as she finally pulled her eyes from the water and back to him. “The salad is delicious - it really is… I… I guess my appetite’s not back yet… or something…” she’d added, as her eyes were immediately drawn back to the horizon once again.

Something’s bothering her. “I know I promised to keep my distance, but I’m a good listener - if you want to talk,” Jax had said, setting his fork down on his plate, then shoving the empty plate aside and folding his hands on the table in front of him.

She’d looked back at him and smiled again. “That’s very sweet of you, Jax, but I’ve laid enough stuff at your feet already. You don’t need for me to lay anything else there… Besides, you also promised that you were going to get on with your vacation. This is time for you to relax and enjoy yourself in the sun, surf, and sand - not stay here and worry over me… Why don’t you go down to the beach and enjoy yourself? I’m fine here by myself.”

“What if I told you that I am enjoying myself, just being here with you?” he’d asked, his eyes twinkling.

“Then I’d say you were a liar,” she’d laughed, “but a very sweet liar.” Her face had sobered then as she’d wistfully added: “I’m used to lies; just not sweet lies.”

“Cordoba,” Jax had supplied acridly.

She’d merely nodded, then turned her attention back to the horizon once again.

She’s thinking about him, he’d realized, and a wave of irrational jealousy had coursed through him, despite the fact that everything she’d said about her relationship with Cordoba indicated that she hadn’t been happy with the man. But still, she’d been thinking about him, and Jax hated that she was spending any time at all dwelling on that man.

“Do you miss him?” Jax had asked then. When she’d given him a puzzled look at that, he added: “Cordoba - do you miss him?”

She’d sighed softly and shrugged. “This probably sounds sick and twisted, given the fact that I’m currently hiding out from him, but there’s not a simple answer to that…” she’d said, as she’d drawn her eyes back to Jax then immediately averted them to the table, apparently embarrassed by what she was about to confess. “No, I don’t miss his possessiveness or the obsessive way he kept me all to himself and sheltered me from anything and anyone outside his sphere… But, having said that, he has been the one constant in my life since I woke up from the coma, and the island is the only home I can remember - even though it was really more of a prison than a home… But, to be perfectly honest here, I guess there is a part of me - albeit a small part - that actually does miss him.”

That hadn’t been what Jax had wanted to hear, but he’d understood it nonetheless. Cordoba had been there for her constantly since the accident; it was only natural that a part of her would miss him. After all, people even miss bad habits after they manage to finally lose them.

“Do you love him?” he’d asked suddenly.

His question had surprised them both.

“What?” she’d asked, not sure she’d understood him.

Jax hadn’t really meant to ask that out loud, but since he had… “Cordoba - Do you love him?”

She’d given another small sigh as she’d shifted in her seat then, refocusing her gaze on the view once again as she’d pondered his question. Finally, she’d shrugged: “I can’t say that I ever loved him because, truthfully, I’m not really sure what love feels like… I mean, I have these feelings sometimes in my dreams, but I have nothing really to compare it to, so I don’t even know if that’s love or not… I mean, Armand is the only person I really know… He’s taken care of me since the accident and gave me back my life - what life he’d allow me to have anyway… So I do feel something for him, although I’m not really sure what to call it… No… I don’t think I ever loved him, but I am grateful to him for saving my life…” she’d replied.

Jax had nodded, still feeling jealous of Cordoba despite the fact that she’d just admitted that she had never actually loved the man. But how could he not be jealous? The man had been with her nearly every moment of the past two years, while Jax had been alone and mourning her loss every moment of that time.

“Does he love you?” he’d asked then, knowing the answer before she even spoke. How could Cordoba not love her?

Again she’d sighed. “Yes, I think that in his own perverse way that Armand does love me. But I’m not sure that he really knows what love is or even how to love, so he ended up suffocating me…” She’d given a small laugh as she’d added: “You know, the ironic thing is that I actually began to look at him differently those last few days we were together - be genuinely attracted to him and I began to feel something more for him than simple gratitude - and I think that’s because he began to give me more and more freedom…”

“If you love something, set it free,” Jax had murmured.

She’d thrown him a puzzled look at that.

“It’s something my mother always used to say,” he’d explained. “If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you, then it was meant to be yours; if not… well, it was better that you let it go…”

She’d nodded then. “Yeah… that’s how I’ve always imagined that love should be - something that frees the spirit, not binds it, the way Armand tried to control me… You know, in my dreams I feel freer than I ever have in my waking life, and I think that has to be because in my dreams I’m actually feeling the love that I shared with the man who gave me this ring…” she’d said, holding her left hand up and touching the pink sapphire stone of her engagement ring. “I wonder if he still loves me…” she’d added quietly.

Jax had wanted to answer that last with a resounding shout of “Yes, I do still love you!”, but instead he’d simply smiled, content to watch the love shine in her eyes as she’d touched the ring that he’d given her as a symbol of his love and commitment to her. He knew that she might not have any conscious memories of him or of them together, but he knew that in her heart she could still feel the strength of their love and commitment for one another.

The resounding screech of a nearby pelican, as it swooped in for its supper on the Gulf waters just below, brought Jax back to the present, and he quickly glanced over at Brenda, afraid the noise had awakened her, but she was still asleep. In fact, she appeared to be in a far more relaxed state now than she had been when he’d first sat down. The restless twitching had stopped; her only movement now was her slow and steady breathing and the slow circling of her right index finger over the pink sapphire of her ring.

“Even in sleep you feel the power of our love, don’t you?” Jax whispered, happy to see the smile on her face as she slept. “I hope your dreams lead you back to me soon…” he added wistfully, as he reached over to gently caress her cheek.

He heard the faint crunch of tires then on the gravel driveway on the other side of the house, and he was instantly on his feet. Someone was here! But who - and why? No one knew where they were - only Chuck and Tim Henson, who owned this place. But Chuck was thousands of miles away on Kronos, and Tim had promised not to tell anyone. And he doubted that it was one of the lifers here on the island. Tim had assured him that the locals also craved their privacy and would only venture by if invited. And he was certain that it wasn’t Cordoba or his men - he and Chuck had covered their tracks very well and had done an incredible job of laying down a false trail for them to follow, none of which could possibly lead them here. Or at least he thought that they had…

He crept to the right front corner of the wraparound deck, keeping his body pressed tightly against the house so whoever had just driven up couldn’t see him, then he peered cautiously over the deck to the driveway below. There, parked just at the bottom of the steps leading to the house, was a canary yellow late model Corvette with its driver’s side door open. Then a tall, buxom blonde bounced out, shaking her hair loose from its pony-tailed confines and removing her sunglasses as she looked around the place.

“It’s Beth!” Jax muttered. Dammit, he’d forgotten all about her! - And why the hell was she here a day early, he wondered? The last time they’d spoken, he’d told her specifically not to arrive before tomorrow evening. He’d wanted a few days alone with Brenda before Beth arrived. Besides, he hadn’t yet had the chance to tell Brenda that he’d invited Beth to join them or why he’d asked her to come in the first place. And having Beth here might not sit well with Brenda.

But, then again, why wouldn’t Brenda be thrilled to have Beth here? After all, Beth was an expert in the field of memory recovery, and Brenda wanted more than anything to remember her past, didn’t she? Of course, she did - and so did Jax, because the sooner she remembered the past and him, the sooner they could both get on with their lives together.

And Beth would certainly understand when he explained everything to her as well. Sure, he’d been a little misleading when he’d invited her here, implying that they would be alone, but he’d been honest when he’d told her that he needed her professional talents - the sensual tone in which he’d said that, notwithstanding. But Beth was the consummate professional, and Brenda was a patient in need. He was certain that Beth would put a patient’s immediate emotional needs above anything else, including her own pleasurable pursuits.

Yes, this would all work out for the best, he told himself, as he raced down the steps to intercept Beth. But Chuck’s earlier warning about Beth’s possible feelings for him were echoing in his head, and suddenly he couldn’t shake the nagging feeling that things were about to get even more complicated than they already were…

Brenda shifted slightly on the chaise, smiling contentedly as she drifted slowly deeper into the dream. She knew this dream… she liked this dream… In fact, of all the dreams she could remember, this was her favorite…

She was back on that yacht again, dressed in that beautiful, white silk dress and standing at the railing, staring out into the serenity of the night sky with its perfect full moon and its thousands of bright stars. The music was once again playing softly in the background, and she could hear footsteps coming ever closer behind her, and her heart skipped a beat as she knew that soon he would be there with her, holding her, placing gentle kisses along her neck and her face.

She once again felt his strong arms wrap around her from behind (It’s him!), and she felt his warm lips once again begin their ascent up her neck to her cheeks (I love this…), once again creating that wonderful tingling feeling from the top of her head to the tip of her toes.

(I love him…)

That last realization made her smile even more, as she truly knew that this feeling that this man of her dreams had always elicited in her was really love. She loved him, and he loved her - of that she was certain.

She felt him loosen his grip on her now (No, please don’t let go!), but he remained behind her, as he placed his hands on the railing, one on either side of her. Then she heard a voice speaking…

(It’s his voice!)

“Fish, moon, stars - ”

(… Wait - I know that voice…)

She saw herself turning around toward him just as he finished: “…I give you Mr. and Mrs. Jacks…”

She sat upright on the chaise, instantly awake; her heart beating out of control as she’d finally seen the face of the man who’d been haunting her dreams for weeks now.

It was Jax…

…and they were…

… married?!