Chapter 11

"I said, 'How long have you known?'!" Her words were clipped, as she emphasized each word separately and distinctly. Tom remained frozen to the spot - and silent. "Answer me, dammit!!!" She was shaking now, and large tears rolled down her cheeks. Tom wanted to take her in his arms and tell her the truth - that he had just found out the night before and that he planned to tell her everything soon. In fact, he was going to tell her first thing this morning, but now he knew his truth would ring hollow to her.

She continued, moving to within inches of him and waving the picture in his face. "Have you known from the beginning? Did you recognize me right away, and figure you'd cash in on who I was and who Jax was? Did you think that the longer you waited, the more money you'd get when you finally contacted Jax to let him know I was alive? Huh?! Is that what you thought?!" Her voice raised more with each successive sentence, her words dripping with venom.

Tom's heart broke, as he realized how his inaction had hurt her deeply. "Angel -" he moved to touch her, but she jerked away.

"The name is 'Brenda'!" she spat out through clenched teeth, "but you've known that all along, haven't you?!" She was literally shaking with rage now.

Tom closed his eyes and took a deep breath, and began again, "Brenda - I just found out last night who you were, and then only by accident. And all of this -" he pointed to the article on the computer screen about her 'death' by drowning the night of the hurricane two weeks before, "was just so I had all the information straight in my head before I told you. Please, Brenda, trust me - I would never hurt you like that!"

"Trust you?!" Brenda screamed. "How can I trust you?"

She was livid now. Her face was red, her eyes swollen, and her breath was coming in erratic bursts, and Tom was worried about her. "Brenda, please try to calm down. This can't be good for you or the baby..." He reached to try to touch her again to calm her down, but she swatted his hand away.

"Don't touch me!!" She moved out of his reach and back over to the computer. "Your concern for me and the baby is heartwarming!" she said sarcastically. "I'm sure that the dollar signs were just flying by your eyes last night when you found out that not only had you stumbled upon billionaire Jasper Jacks' presumed dead fiancée, but you had the added little bonus of his unborn child - heir to the considerable Jacks fortune - along for the ride! Boy, you are one lucky guy, aren't you, Tom Langan - if that is your real name!"

She looked at Tom with such contempt that he thought his heart would break. How did this happen? he wondered. He was only trying to do the right thing. How could he ever make her understand?

"Brenda, I am so sorry - I really am. And whether you believe me or not, I had no idea who you were until last night in the waiting room at the clinic in Carlisle when I was flipping through an old "People" magazine waiting for the doctor to examine you. That's when I stumbled onto that picture," he pointed to the picture that Brenda still had clutched in her hand. "And then everything happened so fast after that - I mean, we found out about the baby, and all - and I just thought it would be best if I did a little research into you and Jax before I laid all of this at your feet. I wasn't trying to hurt you or Jax - and I'm definitely not in this for the money! And, as for who I am -" he went to his jacket and pulled out his FBI ID and showed it to her, "I really am Tom Langan, and, as you can see, I'm one of the guys who tracks down kidnappers, not one who kidnaps."

Brenda took the ID from his hand, and viewed it suspiciously. "How do I know this isn't a fake ID?"

Tom smiled slightly at her suspicions. "Well, that's a valid question. There's a number I can call, and they'll verify I am indeed Special Agent Tom Langan of the FBI."

"And how do I know that this number you call isn't to your partner in this plot to extort money from Jax?" she countered.

This made Tom's smile broaden. She was adorable, even when she was exasperating, he thought. "Well, if you'd like, you can call information yourself, and they can give you the number for you to call to verify who I am."

Brenda eyed the ID and Tom a minute longer, and then said, "No, it looks real enough..." She had calmed down considerably by now, and she took a deep breath and looked back up at Tom as she handed him his ID back. "It's just...it's just that when I saw all of this -" she pointed to the screen and the picture, "and then I started to remember things and everything got jumbled up, and it seemed as I became more sure of who I was, I became less sure of who you were...Does that make any sense?" She let out a heavy sigh and then sat down at the table, leaning her head in her hands, and cried softly.

Tom came over and touched her hair hesitantly, and for the first time since all of this drama had started, she did not flinch from his touch. "It's understandable," he said gently. "Your whole world has been thrown off its axis in the past several weeks, and you're just now getting it righted again. And add to that the baby..."

"By that, you mean my raging hormones?" Brenda laughed, trying to sniff back more tears.

"Well, I was trying to be tactful," Tom chuckled, and she looked at him and smiled a smile that once again made Tom's heart stop.

"You save my life, you give me a place to live and a name, you feed and clothe me, you provide medical care for me and my baby, and how do I repay you? You have been nothing but kind to me, and here I am accusing you of all sorts of heinous motives. I am so sorry... Can you ever forgive me?"

She started to cry again, and Tom hugged her to him. "Shh," he said soothingly, "There's nothing to forgive...You had every right to question my motives. I only wish I had spared you all of this pain, and just come to you immediately when I first discovered who you were."

"At least, everything is out in the open now," she said wiping her nose with her sleeve, as she leaned back in the chair to face Tom.

"Well, not quite..." Tom said hesitantly.


Jax lay in his cell at the Port Charles Police Department, staring at the ceiling. It was well past midnight, and he was awake trying to make sense of his life. He and Jerry had been arrested on charges of racketeering and brought here in the late afternoon, after several hours of watching federal agents rifle through his files and even his personal belongings. When one of the agents had accidentally knocked over and broken Brenda's picture, Jax had lunged for him, and if it hadn't been for Jerry, Jax would be facing charges of assaulting an officer as well. Jerry had saved him from that situation, but Jerry and his Dad were responsible for the other charges Jax was now facing. If it weren't so sad, Jax might have to laugh at the irony in that.

Jax wondered where things had gone wrong. Just a few short weeks before, he had had the world by the tail. He had been a rich man in every conceivable way - personal and professional wealth and success; a family who supported and loved him; and the love of the most wonderful woman in the world, his Brenda. And now it was all gone in the blink of an eye - his wealth, his reputation, his family, and most of all Brenda. Even his belief that she was alive somewhere was nearly gone. And all of it was because of his Dad and Jerry.

He had always respected his Dad and Jerry. They had been everything to him - his foundation, his rock. He had idolized them, but now he knew they had feet of clay. He had always known that his Dad was capable of cutting a corner or two and that Jerry was a rogue, but he never imagined that they would ever knowingly be involved with the mob. And not just marginally involved - they were helping the mob prosper and thrive! He had held Sonny Corinthos in such contempt, but the disdain he had for him was nothing compared to the disgust he now felt for his own flesh and blood.

His own flesh and blood...No, they were no longer a part of him - not even his mother, who appeared to have cast a blind eye to all of this over the years. He no longer had a family. Only Brenda and the baby were his family now...Brenda and the baby...Are they even alive? He closed his eyes tightly and tried to imagine him and Brenda holding their baby and all of them safely tucked away in the cottage. But the image seemed to be waning, just as his faith in life was waning. He wanted to believe so badly that she would come back to him - he needed to believe in something, especially now. But his faith, like his life, had been shattered. He looked out the cell window into the pitch black of the darkness. What is it they say about it always being darkest just before the dawn? he thought. He wondered if the light would ever dawn in his life again.


Jerry's cell was just down the cellblock from Jax's, but it might as well have been on the other side of the world. Jax had effectively distanced himself from Jerry and the rest of the family, and Jerry had never felt anything so painful in his life. Everything he and his Dad had done was for Jax - at least that's how they had always rationalized it.

Jax had known nothing of Jerry's and his Dad's activities with the underworld. Had he known, he would have put a stop to it immediately. Jax was a man with a definite moral code, and that moral code did not include getting in bed with the mob. Jerry often wondered where Jax had gotten his inherent goodness. Perhaps the angels held a special place in their hearts for him, which was why he was so upright and noble, he thought. From the beginning Jax had gained the reputation for being a takeover guru and his business acumen was unparalleled. He was considered a boy genius in business circles. Financial analysts had called him 'the golden boy' and 'the man with the Midas touch,' and that reputation was well-deserved for the most part, but a little part was due to Jerry's and his Dad's machinations behind the scenes. They had merely wanted to potentiate Jax's golden luster, but in the end they had done nothing but tarnish his reputation - maybe forever - and alienate Jax from the family - most likely forever.

Since Brenda's death, the family had tried to support Jax because they knew what the loss of Brenda had done to him, but now Jax was severing all ties with them because of this. Jerry had spent his whole life trying to protect Jax from the world, and now he was the one who had brought what was left of Jax's world crashing down around him. He thought of his earlier ominous premonition of trouble for Jax, and realized that it had come true. How ironic that it would be Jerry's own deeds that would end up hurting Jax so deeply.


"What more do I need to know?" Brenda asked cautiously.

Tom hesitated, wondering the best way to tell Brenda of the arrests of Jax and his father and brother for racketeering and the seizure of all assets of J&J Jacks by the US Government, carried out by his fellow agents that previous night. He decided that there was no way to sugarcoat it, so instead he simply told her the truth. "Jax and his family have been arrested for money-laundering for the mob."

Brenda stared at him in disbelief, and shook her head vehemently, "That can't be right! Jax would never be involved with the mob! I know Jax! He hated the mob!"

Tom sighed, "Well, you may be right about Jax, but the evidence against his father and brother is very substantial. It appears that they have been up to their ears in this for years, and it looks like they had no intention of getting out anytime soon."

Brenda closed her eyes, and leaned back in the chair. "This has to be so hard for Jax. He worshipped his family, and to find that they have betrayed him like this..." Suddenly she shot up. "Tom, I have to get to him right away! I have to be there for him now. He thinks I'm dead, and now his family is dead to him as well! He's all alone. I can't let him think he's alone."

Tom stopped her before she got to the door. "Let me do a little checking about Jax's current whereabouts, and then we'll head for Port Charles. I don't think Jax would want this reunion to take place in a jail cell, and I don't think you'd want that either." He pulled out his cell phone, with its newly charged battery, and called his partner, John, for an update, knowing that the inevitable was finally here - his Angel was going back home to her Jax.


Due to the celebrity of the defendants and to avoid an expected media circus, the Port Charles District Court held a rare 6:00 am session to arraign Jax and Jerry. The publicized time of the arraignment was 9:00 am, so there were no reporters in the courtroom as Jax and Jerry were formally charged with racketeering. John Jacks, who had been arrested in Alaska, was being similarly arraigned later in the day in Juneau. Both Jax and Jerry's passports were confiscated, and bail was set at $500,000 apiece. To Jax's surprise, Ned Ashton posted bail for both him and Jerry. He told Jax that they had both loved and lost Brenda, and he left it at that. Jax smiled as he realized that even though she wasn't with him, Brenda was still looking out for him. Perhaps there would be a morning after for him, after all.


It was just after 6:00 am when Tom and Brenda pulled up to her little cottage. Brenda's eyes sparkled as she ran up the front steps, pulled the spare key out from under the pot that housed the pale pink hydrangea, and opened the door, turning the lights on as she did so. She walked into the foyer slowly and then turned around hugging her arms to her chest like a happy child. "We're home, baby," she whispered. "We're finally home." Tom's heart broke just a little as he realized that home for her would never again be with him, but he loved her enough to want her to be happy, and he knew that her happiness would always be with Jax. He smiled as he watched her touch her things in the room lovingly, like she one greets a long-lost friend, and Tom supposed that in a way they were.

Tom continued to watch her as she went from item to item. She's so beautiful, he thought. She was wearing the black, silk dress, and she had the ultrasound image and the mysterious angel bear still clutched in her hand. She had been so excited on the trip that she had talked nonstop for the two hours it had taken for them to get here from the cabin. Her memories were flooding back to her, and she shared all of them enthusiastically with Tom, and he had loved all of it. He loved the sound of her voice. To him her voice was as pure as the angels singing, and Tom realized that the more he came to know her, the more appropriate he thought his name for her was. And he knew that no matter how she was known to the rest of the world, to him she would always be "his Angel."


Jax had walked the four blocks from the courthouse to the J&J Jacks building where his bike was parked. It seemed like years since he had come back from Brighton. Had it only been eighteen hours ago? He stuck his hand in the pocket of his leather jacket to pull out his keys, and he found the rose that he had picked up in Tom's cabin. He smiled, remembering that whole, crazy trip - the bike breaking down, Billy and Ed, the Pine Cone Motel and Restaurant and Betty, and most of all Tom and his mystery lady. He had hoped to uncover the mystery of Tom's lady, but he figured that that was one mystery that would remain unsolved for him forever. That trip to Brighton reminded him of the angel bear he had bought in Brighton for the baby, and he searched his pockets for it, but it was gone. That simple realization seemed to overwhelm him. He sat down by his bike in the empty parking garage outside the J&J Jacks Building and cried for all that he had lost lately - his family, his business, his reputation, but most of all Brenda and their baby, and he prayed for a miracle to somehow help him make it through all of this.


It was just after 7 a.m. when Jax turned wearily into the driveway of the cottage, to see a vaguely familiar, dark green Ford Taurus parked there, with no one in it. Puzzled, Jax walked by it and up to the house, which had all of the lights blazing. He wondered who could be in the house now. Cautiously, he opened the front door and looked inside to see Tom Langan standing by the fireplace.

"Tom?" Jax asked as he entered and closed the door behind him. "What are you doing here?" And that's when he saw her, and his heart stopped. "Brenda..." he whispered hoarsely, but her mouth pressing over his as she leapt into his arms once again stopped the flow of his words.


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