Great Falls, Virginia
Jax stepped into his study and found Ariel there seated behind his desk, her chin propped up on her fist, her dark blue eyes fixed on him in a cool stare, belying her inner fury.
Jax shut the door behind him and took two steps into the room when she pointedly asked him, "Is she pregnant?"
Jax sat down on the corner of the leather couch by the window, leaving a telling space between them. It almost signified how far apart they were emotionally. "No, she isn't," he responded. "And this is not about Brenda, Ariel. I meant what I said before. I don't want you blaming her for the fact that things aren't going to work out for us."
"When the hell did you decide that things weren't going to work out for us? Before or after you said 'I do' to that little tramp! Oh, Jax, come on! I wasn't born yesterday! She is to blame, and I'm just sick to my stomach of your constant need to protect and defend her! Don't you dare defend that little whore to me!"
"I will defend her to anyone I choose. And I won't tolerate your referring to her in those derogatory terms, so I suggest you stop it," Jax said, the coolness in his voice matching the ice in her eyes. "Now, for the last time, she is not to blame," Jax reiterated calmly. "Had I never met her, you and I would still be having this conversation."
Ariel's face clouded over in anger at hearing such a thing. "You're lying," she said, tapping her red-painted, well-manicured nails on the desk, loathing the implications of Jax's words. "For some reason you had to marry her, didn't you? And you refuse to tell me what that reason is."
And it was then that Jax knew he would never tell Ariel the truth about the way he and Brenda had found themselves married to one another. It would only give Ariel false hope that a future with him was still possible, for one thing. It would also give Ariel ammunition with which to taunt and humiliate Brenda, for another. Jax was not about to let either thing happen.
"I think we should talk about you and me, not about Brenda and me," Jax suggested. "I want to . . ." He paused, feeling awful for what he was about to tell her. "I need to . . .tell you the reasons why I can't marry you. I'd like to be very honest with you, even though this won't be pleasant."
She swallowed tensely, but then rolled her eyes in a dismissive manner that Jax found exceedingly annoying under the circumstances. "Jax, please. There is no need for you to give me some dramatic lie. The reason you can't marry me is perfectly obvious. For some reason known only to you and that little home-wrecker you dragged home with you, you're already married. The only reason you can't marry me is because you're married to her."
He realized she had an inkling of where he was headed, and she was determined to stay in denial about it until he said the actual words. Ariel was very much the bury-your-head-in-the-sand type when it came to dealing with difficult issues.
"Even if I weren't married, I couldn't marry you," Jax disclosed. "For many reasons. And this is not to say that I don't care about you, because I do. I always have. You're smart and beautiful, and I like you. But marriage is about love," Jax told her. "And that's something I just don't . . . feel . . ." he hesitated, wondering if he were saying this right. "I don't love you the way that you need me to," he tried to explain to her. I don't love you the way that you deserve to be loved by someone. At one point I did think those feelings would come to me eventually, but they haven't. And I realize they're never going to. Ariel, the truth is that I'm simply not the right man for you. You deserve someone who's in love with you. And . . . I'm not in love with you." There, the words were said at last.
Her mouth hardened into a hard, white line as Jax continued. She both feared and despised what she saw in his eyes. It was something like sorrow, something like pity, something like relief, and something that alerted her to the fact that he was dead serious and resolute in what he was saying. Dear god, she wasn't going to be able to change his mind!
"What in god's name has that underhanded little . . ." she held her tongue, remembering Jax's warning about insulting Brenda. "What has that girl done to steal your heart away from me?" Ariel demanded, continuing to block out the words he was saying that she did not want to hear. "Tell me, Jax. What does she do for you that I don't? I can change. I can be whatever it is you want, whatever it is you like."
"Ariel, for godsake, you have to leave my wife out of this," Jax said wearily, a little shocked at how easily he had referred to Brenda as his wife. "She didn't steal anything from you, least of all my heart, which I'm trying to tell you the best way I know how, never really belonged to you at all. I don't want to hurt you, and I don't like telling you any of this, but I have to. And you can't erase what I've just confessed to you, or mask the truth of my words by trying to make Brenda into the villain. The fault is mine. And I'll understand if you hate me and never want to speak to me again. But this needs to be said and dealt with now. I think I'm saving us both from making a huge mistake. We were meant to be friends and nothing beyond that. I know that now."
"So… you've decided you don't love me, is that it?" she said, her anger beginning to seep through the calm she was trying to reserve. "And just when exactly did you get this big, momentous revelation, Jax? In a moment of heated passion on the floor in some sleazy motel room with that child writhing beneath you?"
She was bound and determined to blame Brenda, he realized in exasperation, just as Scott had predicted she would. And it was ticking him off.
"I've known for a long time now," he responded quietly.
"Oh, I see, you've known for a long time that you're not in love with me, and yet you only said something about it after meeting her. Is that about right, darling? Now tell me again how this isn't her fault! And let me ask you something. Doesn't the fact that I love you count for any damn thing?"
"I've never taken you for the type to settle for unrequited love, Ariel. Do you really desire to be married to man who doesn't love you? Is that what you want?"
She looked as if she might kill him in that moment.
"I happen to believe that you do love me," she said, although it suddenly occurred to her that Jax had never said 'I love you.' Never.
"I don't love you the way you love me," he insisted. "I'm sorry, but I don't. And you deserve to be loved that way. And I deserve to be with someone that I love that way. It's pointless to argue about this. I've made my decision. I'm not changing my mind."
Ariel's gray-flecked blue eyes grew steely. "Do you love her that way?" she accused.
Jax realized any hesitation on his part would make her doubt him and give her incentive to hang onto the idea of them as a couple. "Yes," he said. "I do love her that way."
"You are lying!" Ariel said, raising her voice and standing up. "How can you possibly feel such things for her? How long have you even known her?!"
"A little over a month," he responded, knowing Ariel had the resources to check it out.
"Exactly! And you've known me all your life, Jax! Since we were 8 years old! How can you think I would believe you could fall in love with a stranger in 30 days, and yet claim you don't love me, whom you've known for seventeen years."
"I don't see the correlation," Jax said, crossing one ankle over his knee. "The amount of time I've known you and Brenda is not the issue. Time isn't the issue. Feelings are. How long I've known you, or how briefly I've known her, has nothing do with anything."
"You know, if you tell me that you saw her across a crowded room, your eyes met, and you knew instantly you wanted to spend the rest of your life with her, I'm going to vomit!" Ariel shouted hysterically.
Jax momentarily reflected back to the first time that he had seen Brenda. He remembered the way the breath had rushed from his body, the way his heart had thundered in his chest until he could hear nothing but it's rapid-fire beating, and how he'd stared at her thinking he had not entered a dorm room, but the gates of heaven instead. He also recalled how annoyed he had been at himself for that uncharacteristic loss of control at the mere sight of a woman.
"It was fairly instantaneous," Jax said, truthfully. "But as I said before, I'm here to discuss us, not Brenda. Now, I understand that I couldn't have picked a worse time to tell you about all of this, Ariel. My intention was to wait until after the holidays."
"How kind of you," she sneered.
"And I know this is likely to cause you some embarrassment due to how public you've been about the wedding. So," he rested one hand on his knee, "what I would like to suggest is that you lay the blame with me. Or you can say it was a mutual decision, and we decided to remain friends - which, I would like for us to do, incidentally. Or you can even say you broke it off, if you'd like. However, should you drag Brenda's name into this in any manner, via the press or any other way, I'll make sure everyone knows how this wedding really came to be called off. I'll tell them exactly what I told you in this room."
Ariel felt the fury bubbling over in her as Jax continued to think of nothing but Brenda's protection.
Jax glanced at his watch, "It's almost six a.m. I think you should think about what I've said, and let me know how you'd like to handle things later."
How I'd like to handle things? How about we murder that bride of yours! Ariel thought sourly. She knew Jax wanted her to blame him for all of this, but she could not get past that stunning, young brunette he had dared to walk in here with. Brenda was to blame. She was!
"I already know how I want to handle this, Jax. I want you to get rid of that girl and fulfill your promise to marry me!" she said, rising from the desk and walking over to him. "You promised me," she said, going for what she knew was a great weakness for Jax -- his deep belief in keeping his promises.
"That promise was based on my belief that I would develop the kind of love for you that we would both need for any marriage between us to ever last," he said, disappointed in her attempting to guilt-trip and manipulate him into changing his mind. "Since I now know that I will not be developing any such feelings, then the promise was based on a misconception. And the promise therefore should be rescinded. However, you can keep the ring."
"Jax," she said taking his hand, "how can you possibly be so sure that you can't develop those feelings for me? Once we're married, you have no idea how you'll feel. I'll make you so happy that you won't be able to help but fall in love with me," she said.
Jax shook his head. "Please, stop this. I don't want to rehash this over and over. It is completely pointless. I would like us to split amicably, Ariel, and to still be friends if we can. I do value your friendship, but I don't love you. And so there is no future for us in any capacity beyond our freindship. You're going to have to accept that so you can move forward and go out there and find the man who loves you. But I'm sorry, it's not going to be me."
There was a rap on the door and Jax's mother entered. "Sorry to interrupt children, but I just wanted to make sure everyone was still breathing in here," she said, eyeing them both a bit nervously. She could tell that whatever Jax had said to Ariel had not been taken well by her. Jax looked relieved with his mother's interruption, while to Jane's critical eye, Ariel looked as if she were doing all she could not to explode.
While Jax was with Ariel downstairs behind the closed doors of the elegant study, Scott was upstairs with a hyped-up Brenda.
"I can't believe it," she was saying, her voice a stunned whisper. "I'm standing here in a strange house, in a strange town, and I'm a married woman."
"Yeah," Scott said. "You are."
"It's legal?"
"According to Father O'Malley it sure is. Of course, Jax wanted it annulled right away. But Father O'Malley swore he would block such a thing at every turn, and then he said the only way he would agree to help Jax get his annulment was if Jax came to his confessional full of a slew of sincere apologies and repentance for his ill temperament. Jax, of course, told the priest he was a lunatic and swore he would never apologize for anything."
"Oh, he's so stubborn. In fact I've never met a man more stubborn," she said in annoyance, although her eyes reflected admiration, not annoyance. "But his stubbornness has actually worked to my advantage, because this is so perfect!" she said.
"I told Jax you would think so," Scott said, proud of his prediction skills.
Brenda glared at him, looking flustered. "You told Jax that? Oh, Scott, how could you!"
Scott furrowed his brows in confusion. "What? What did I do?"
"How could you make me look so desperate to have him and to be with him, that I would be happy to find myself married to him under even circumstances as borderline insane as this!"
"Uh --- well I . . ."
"Scott, you're my friend and my confidante and everything," she interrupted, "but you've got to swear to me that you're not going to go blabbing everything I tell you to Jax."
"Jax is my best friend, Brenda. So you're putting me in a very awkward position," Scott responded. "There are certain things I will not ever keep from him -- just so you know."
"Okay, I understand that. So if I tell you I'm going to poison his dog, sure, go ahead and tell him. But if I happen to tell you something about my personal feelings for him, don't tell him, okay?"
"Okay, that's fair enough. Jax doesn't have a dog you can poison though, by the way. And I don't think you want to mess with the pet he does have."
"Well, if you're serious about him having a tiger as a pet, I won't go near it. Is it a big tiger? Is it a wild tiger?"
"It's adorable. His name is Xander, and he's a one-year-old miniature, white tiger - very rare. He'll never get any bigger than four feet. He's just like a big, gorgeous, exotic cat. Want to see him?"
"Sure, can we?"
"Mmm hmmm. Follow me."
As they headed to a room way down the hall, Brenda was still fretting over what Jax must think since Scott told him she'd be happy about this marriage business.
"You know, now I'm going to have to undo whatever notions you've put in Jax's head," she decided. "He's probably walking around right now thinking he's just like this god on earth, and that I worship the ground he walks on, and I'm mad with desire over him, and that all he has to do is snap his fingers, and I'll fall at his feet in a state of bliss."
"No, I don't think he thinks that at all, and . . ."
"And I'm not a fool, you know, " she interrupted. "I know that he's downstairs right now, wondering the fastest way to get rid of me. I know he's going to want to get this annulment as soon as he can, so he can carry on with his wedding plans to that woman downstairs, who, by the way, is horrible!"
Scott said nothing, recalling his promise to Jax not to tell Brenda anything about his decision not to marry Ariel or the fact that he wasn't in love with Ariel.
"But he's got another thing coming, Scott. Because I am not going to roll over and make this easy for him. I mean, who does he think he is anyway? I'm not giving him any annulment. I'm not!" Brenda said defiantly.
"Good for you, Brenda. If I were in your position I'd take advantage of it, too," Scott said with a smile, not mentioning that he thought Jax would be delighted to hear this bit of news. It was better if Brenda actually thought she was making Jax miserable by her plans.
"And further more," Brenda continued, on a roll, "I am going to act like the wife around here. He'll just hate that, won't he?" she grinned. "I'm going to decorate this house for the holidays. I'm going to meet Jax's entire family. I'm going to walk around and meet all his neighbors, and then maybe I'll even invite them all over for a big holiday party," she decided mutinously, thinking all of this would make Jax simply crazy. "And I'm going to run up all of Jax's credit cards - you did say he was really rich, didn't you?"
"Richer than you'll ever know," Scott said, grinning at her plans which she thought were so dastardly, but which he knew Jax would not be upset about at all.
"Good, then yes, I'm going to run up all his credit cards! I'm going to buy beautiful clothes that will make his eyes pop out of his head, and I'll fill up our Christmas tree full of presents for all of us. What do you want for Christmas? I'll get you anything," she said.
Scott laughed. She was nuts -- and adorable. "So your plan is to refuse him this annulment and to act like his wife, whether he likes it or not, is that about right?" Scott asked, trying to look serious.
"That's right! I'm going to make your partner miserable while I have this golden opportunity to do it. By the time I'm done with Jax, he'll be running to Father O'Malley's confessional on his knees, begging him to get him out of this marriage. He may even offer to join the priesthood himself." Suddenly she paused in her stream of plotting thoughts. "Scott, who's idea was it to take me here?" she asked, sliding her hair into a ponytail.
"Mine."
"Oh." She clearly looked disappointed.
"But Jax was the one who insisted," Scott added. "He said there was no way he was leaving you with those other two agents."
"And who was it that got me dressed? You?" she asked.
"No, Jax took care of that," Scott explained, and he caught Brenda's pleased, little smile as he pushed open French double doors leading to a room that looked like a jungle.
Brenda stared in awe at the room. It was filled with palm trees and all sorts of exotic greenery and flowers. There was the soothing sound of a waterfall fountain in whose midst pranced a gorgeous, little, white tiger cub, playing in the water. Its fur was snowy white; it's stripes black. A stunning emerald collar hung about its neck, and its eyes matched the color of the collar.
Scott was gazing at the emerald collar, too, thinking the rich, dazzling green reminded him of a pair of beautiful eyes he would never forget.
"He's so cute!" Brenda said, walking over to the little jungle cat with no fear. Xander stopped his playing in the water and regarded her curiously, cocking his head adorably and sounding a little purr/growl of inquisition.
"I think he would like a proper introduction," Scott said as he scooped up the wet cub and took its paw in his hand. "Little Sir Alexander, may I present Miss -- excuse me, that would be Mrs. -- Brenda Jacks," Scott finished, and he placed Xander's paw into a laughing Brenda's hand.
"Nice to meet you, Little Sir Alexander. May I call you Xander?" she inquired, shaking his paw as he cocked his head to the other side and continued to gaze at her curiously with his huge, emerald eyes.
"He says, by all means," Scott said, placing the tiger cub on the floor. Xander ran around Brenda's feet, nipping at the laces of her boots playfully, and Brenda knelt down to run her fingers through the tiger's rich, soft, white fur.
"What ever possessed Jax to buy a tiger for a pet?" she asked, grinning with delight as Xander placed both front paws on her knees to lift himself up so that he could get a better look at the crystal heart dangling from Brenda's necklace. The cub seemed fascinated by the way the lights reflected off of the crystal.
"It was a gift," Scott informed her. "We rescued the daughter of a visiting dignitary from Zambia a few months ago. Giving Jax Xander was their way of showing their appreciation. We're normally strictly forbidden to accept gifts for just doing our jobs, you know? But in this instance, the King of Zambia would have seen it an insult to refuse the gift -- that's their culture. So Jax got the okay to accept it, and he inherited himself a most unusual pet."
"A beautiful pet," Brenda said, stroking Xander on top of his head. "Look at those eyes," Brenda breathed.
Scott just nodded, wondering if the only time he'd ever see the unforgettable, green eyes of Madison Kennedy again was in a jail cell.
"The heiress looks exactly like I thought she would," Brenda said. "Tall, blonde, blue eyes, elegant, that pretentious laugh, that air of superiority -- and not an ounce of warmth. What do you think it is about her that he loves?" she asked, and although she tried to make the question nonchalant, Scott heard the yearning in her voice. The yearning to be the one Jax loved.
"Nothing," Scott responded, and then he went onto another subject so that she could not ask him to elaborate on his response. He'd promised Jax he would not tell her that he didn't love Ariel, and he intended to keep that promise. "Brenda," Scott said, "if I ask you to do something for Jax, will you consider it?" he asked her.
Brenda looked up at Scott warily. "I'd have to say that depends on what you'd be asking of me."
"The reason Jax took you here was to protect you," Scott began. "But, as you know, technically he and I have been pulled off of this case, and so the only legitimate reason we could give for taking you from Port Charles and not allowing Worchester and Flanagan to take over the assignment, is that you are Jax's wife. The brass is going to think Jax and I are up to something shady, and you're going to have to help us convince them that you're with Jax because you want to be -- because you're in love with him and wanted to marry him. If they think anything fishy is going on, Jax could get into a lot of trouble, Brenda. He could even get fired."
Brenda was amazed that Jax had taken such a chance. He had risked his job, and she knew how much he loved his job. Yet it was at risk now. And he'd done that just to protect her. Just because he had no confidence in anyone but himself and Scott to make sure she came to no harm. Her heart reacted strangely to this knowledge.
"I'll make sure that your bosses believe that Jax is the love of my life," Brenda promised, thinking that having to act very romantic with Jax in front of people could be great fun and wreak havoc with his emotions the way he had done with hers. But mostly she was thinking she would do anything to help Jax.
"Thanks," Scott said.
"Sure," Brenda shrugged, trying to brush off any significance.
"I'd give you the grand tour of the place," Scott offered, "but I think Jax would rather do that. And I'm really beat. Are you gonna be okay here by yourself?"
"Yes," Brenda said, her fingers sliding into Xander's luxuriant mane. Then she smiled at Scott. "Hey, thanks for talking Jax into taking me with you. Not that I want to be around him all the time, or anything," she was quick to add, averting her eyes from Scott's bemused gaze. "But I do feel safe with you guys. So, I'm glad I'm here with Jax -- I mean with you -- with both of you."
"You're welcome," Scott said, reaching down to fondly stroke the top of her dark hair. "And for the record, I really didn't have to talk him into it. But I'm sure soon that will become obvious," he said enigmatically as he winked at her and left her alone in the jungle setting with Xander.
Jane Jacks was alone in the study with the woman who would have been her daughter-in-law. It was a bit after 6 a.m. now, and the late November sun was slowly making its way up into the sky on this chilly winter morning. Jax had just left the room, and once he was gone Ariel let loose her fury to the woman who, if Jax did not change his mind, would never be her mother-in-law.
"I don't care what Jax says!" Ariel said. "This is all her fault! All of it! The best he can do is tell me some lie about not loving me. Well, I don't buy it for a minute!"
Jane wished she were as unconvinced as Ariel was. But truth be told, Jax's claim that it was his intention to call off the wedding, Brenda or no Brenda, rang very true to his mother. She'd never seen the display of love between her youngest son and his fiancée that she would have liked. But she chalked that up to the fact that Jax and Ariel had known each other since childhood, and just had that kind of comfort level where passion and excitement were unnecessary. Never did it occur to her that here son was not in love. But neither could she fathom his falling so hard for a virtual stranger he'd only known for a month. She did agree with Ariel on that much. There had to be more behind this sudden marriage to Brenda than the passions of his heart.
"Do you think there is a way that we could find out if she's pregnant?" Ariel asked. "I would swear that was the reason Jax married her, although, of course, he denies it. God forbid any disgrace befall his little wife!"
"Well, my dear, if that is the reason, we shall all know in a few months. The girl can hardly hide impending motherhood. But I think, darling, you have to consider that Jax was saying exactly what he meant."
"No," Ariel shook her head. "I refuse to believe he does not love me. He asked me to marry him!"
"As I recall luv, the two of you had one of your famous bets, Jax lost and told you to name your prize, and you told him a walk down the aisle with him was what you wanted."
"Yes, but he was ecstatic over the idea!" Ariel defended.
"As I recall, he laughed and said 'why not?' He was game to give you the prize you asked for, Ariel. I would not say he was ecstatic about it. And considering what he has said today, I feel he surely had no idea the seriousness of what he had pledged to do."
"Whose side are you on, Jane?" Ariel wailed, summoning up tears to get Jane back on her side. "I love Jax. I love him so much, and I know that if there were no Brenda, he and I would be happily planning our wedding right now. Are you really going to accept Jax's lies that Brenda has nothing to do with this?" Ariel demanded, crying some more and sobbing for greater effect.
Jane pulled the tall, sobbing blonde to her, hugging her and patting her back comfortingly. "There, there, luv. I know what an awful day this has been for you," Jane murmured sympathetically. "I just don't want you to set yourself up for any more pain. I think you must consider that everything Jax has told you is the truth."
Ariel shook her head. "I won't let her take him away from me. She thinks she's getting rid of me, Jane, but I'm going to turn the tables on her and get rid of her," Ariel vowed.
Jane knew that Ariel was angry, hurt, humiliated, and most of all jealous. But she also knew that it was not wise to threaten the woman Jax obviously loved so much.
"I wouldn't try it if I were you, dear," Jane warned. "Jax wants to remain close to you, as your friend. But anything you to do cause pain or unhappiness to Brenda will surely result in his severing all ties with you in all ways. I fear it will also cause an irreparable rift between our two families"
This was true, Ariel realized glumly. But then she smiled. There were other ways to do it so that Jax would not blame her. She would make Brenda come off as the unreasonable one, the villain, the one who needed to be tossed from his life. All she would need were reinforcements to help her. Jane would be of no use, she realized. But she had her own mother, who would be furious to learn the marriage was off, and would do everything in her power to get it back on track again. And there was also Jax's grandmother, who was very fond of Ariel. Perhaps the three of them, working in unison, could drive Brenda away, or at least drive such a wedge between Jax and Brenda that their marriage would not last three months. It was her only hope, Ariel realized. Once Brenda was out of the picture, she could prove to Jax that Brenda had been the problem all along.
Jax noticed that Brenda was not in the bedroom he had left her in and momentary panic rifled through him. What bothered him was that it was not panic that Bastian Reese had gotten his hands on her somehow, it was panic that Brenda had of her own volition left him. There was really no denying how much he wanted her, he realized. He didn't want her to leave. And her stubborn refusal to give him an annulment had made him want to run around his house and do a victory lap. He didn't want to let her go, and he was going to find a way to make her want to stay. Forever, if he was lucky.
Jax began checking all the rooms to find her, and found Scott asleep in one of the empty bedrooms.
"Scott, where's Brenda?" Jax asked, shaking him.
Scott groaned at being roused from sweet slumber and dreams of an emerald-eyed, mystery women. "In the jungle," Scott murmured, pulling the pillow over his head.
Jax was surprised to hear that. Xander was the cutest thing on the planet, but still . . .when most women realized he was, in fact, a tiger, they wanted to be as far away from him as possible. Jax made his way down the hall to the room his brother Jerry had dubbed "the jungle," and he saw Brenda there, zigzagging through the palm trees and laughing as Xander playfully ran after her, letting out a series of excited purrs, although Xander's purrs sounded more like little growls.
Jax grinned as he watched her. To him she looked like some impossibly beautiful fairy sprite running with carefree joy through and enchanted forest. Her laughter was like music that kissed the very air around it and made even the invisible air smile with delight to be near her. His heart reacted to the sight of her, longing to be near her as well. No one had ever made him feel this way before.
No one has touched me
My soul's my own
Now all at once there's you
Luring my heart to a home
Come hear me, come near me
God only knows
No one rules my heart
But you, come close . . .
Brenda's laughter filled the air again as she raced around a little, stone cave, and Xander tricked her by going through the cave, which was open-ended, and meeting her with a little growl of victory on the other side.
"Gorgeous and smart, too," Brenda said, kneeling down to stroke the pretty animal. "Just like your owner, huh?" she said softly, stroking behind Xander's ears. "You don't play with emotions the way he does though, do you?" she asked. "And you're a lot more trustworthy than he is, I bet."
Jax thought that was his cue to come in before she really started ripping him apart.
"Is this a private party?" he asked, sitting down next to her.
She jumped a little at the sound of his voice, and she was bewildered to find herself a bundle of nerves in his presence now. Xander jumped over to Jax, happy to see him, and curled up in Jax's lap, laying his head on Jax's leg. It was the most adorable scene Brenda had ever seen, and she realized that she would love to trade places with the little jungle cat. To be curled up against Jax like that . . .
"So I see the two of you have met," he said, stroking Xander. "Most people have a tendency to fear this little guy."
"Oh, no -- not me," Brenda said, shivering as her leg brushed against Jax as she was shifting her sitting position next to him. "I think he's beautiful. And a lot of fun."
"And the fact that he is technically a wild animal doesn't scare you?"
She shook her head, trying with great difficulty not to stare at Jax. But he was such a feast for the eyes, that it was extremely difficult to feign dispassionate nonchalance in his presence.
"So, you told Ariel the truth about us?" Brenda asked, thinking that the evil-tempered, blonde woman would now rub the mistaken marriage in her face with relish.
"No," Jax told her.
Brenda stared at him in genuine surprise. "No? Why not?" she asked, disgusted with how happy she sounded by his news.
What reason could he give her for not telling Ariel, Jax wondered? And then suddenly it came to him.
"I don't want you miserable during your stay here," he told her, "and I think if people knew the circumstances behind our marriage, they would give you a hard time about it. So I'm willing to wait," he said.
"How long?" Brenda asked, biting on her lip thoughtfully.
"As long as I have to," he responded.
"Well, that could be a long time," she said with what she hoped looked like an indifferent shrug. "You don't know how long I'll end up being here. Scott told me that you took me here to keep me out of the reach of Bastian Reese, right?"
"Right."
"Well, you have no way of knowing how long it will take you to find him," she said simply. "I could be here a long time."
"I'm prepared to tolerate that," Jax said, and he grinned at the insulted scowl she gave him.
"Well, you'd just better hope I can tolerate you," she shot back.
"Apparently you can tolerate me just fine, Mrs. Jacks," he said, enunciating her title as his wife. "After all, you are the one who gave me and adamant 'no' in response to my suggestion for an annulment in a few weeks. So if you're so opposed to annulling this little marriage we have between us, I can only deduce that you find me tolerable enough."
"Oh, don't be so sure about that," she said. "I'll have you know my reasons for wanting to stay married to you for now," she added for emphasis, "have nothing to do with any feelings I have for you, or any desire you may mistakenly have been told that I have for you."
"Then why?" Jax asked. "Why did you say no when I asked you about the annulment?"
"I have my reasons, Jax, and they are none of your business," she said. "But here is a hint for you -- think payback," she said.
"Payback for what?" he inquired.
"I'm not saying anything else," she said, getting angry that he couldn't seem to figure out that she wanted him to think her desire to stay married to him was a means of revenge on her part. It was imperative that he not think she wanted to be with him for any other reasons. She glanced over at him. "Can't you figure it out, Jax?" she demanded, not wanting to come out and tell him she was paying him back for his rejection of her that day they had shared those blissful kisses in the falling snow. She wanted him to know, of course; to think that was the reason, but she wanted him to figure it out on his own, so it would be more convincing to him.
"I've figured out that you make no sense," Jax said, and then he gently slipped Xander out of his lap, and the tiger cub scampered into the cave where it snuggled up for a rest. "Come on," he said, rising to his feet and extending his hand to her.
She swallowed as she placed her hand in his and felt the thrill of contact as he helped her to her feet. She felt dazed as his hand continued to hold hers, and wild currents ran recklessly through her.
"Ariel isn't leaving until later," Jax said. "So I don't think it's a good idea for us to be in a room so close to hers." He led Brenda out of 'the jungle' and shut the French doors behind him. "In fact, I think we should be on another floor," he decided.
"Us? We?" Brenda repeated, whispering to him as they walked along the hall. "You can't mean that we're going to share a room, Jax," she said panicking.
"Yes, we are," he said. Then he gave her a reassuring smile as he saw the panic in her eyes. "But that's all we'll be doing. Don't worry."
"I wasn't worried," she said hotly, thinking he was making her know that he had no desire to be intimate with her, or that he was making fun of the fact that she was a virgin, quaking with fear at the thought of being alone in a bedroom with a man she was wildly attracted to.
Jax knew exactly what she was thinking, and he threaded his fingers through hers as he led her past his bedroom, and down to the first floor. He felt her shiver at the intimate interlocking of his fingers with hers. He also felt her grip of him intensify, which he liked very much. "Well, maybe you should be worried," he said. "You're fairly irresistible, you know. I'm not quite sure how I'll be able to control myself, although I suppose I'll have to find a way."
She had to keep her lips pressed together to keep from beaming with delight. He was attracted to her! And he did desire her! And her being a virgin was not something he found funny or unappealing.
He led her into a large bedroom with many tall windows. The decor of the room was lovely -- colonial style. The bed was a large, four-poster bed facing the largest window in the room. The curtains were drawn back so that faint sunlight was illuminating the room. Jax pulled the curtains closed and then turned down the bed as Brenda watched him, feeling a combination of nervousness and excitement.
"You're . . . sleeping in the bed?" she asked.
"No," he said. "You are."
She held back the pout she felt. She wasn't sure she was ready to take such a step as letting a man make love to her. Although, if she were ever to do it, this would be the only man she wanted to do it with. But despite her vacillation as to whether she wanted Jax to make love to her or not, she definitely wanted him to share the bed with her. She would like to just be able to at least snuggle up in his arms and feel his strength and his warmth. She remembered vividly what it felt like to fall asleep in his arms. It had felt like heaven then. She wanted to feel that again.
"Where will you sleep then?" she asked.
"Right there," he said, pointing to a large, comfortable couch on the other side of the room by the bookcase.
"That doesn't seem fair," she said, shaking her head. "This is your house, Jax."
"Yours, too, now," he told her, and again she had to bite her lip to hide her glee at his words. "Anyway, this is only for today," he assured her.
"Tonight you'll be in the bed, and I'll be on the couch?" she asked.
"No."
"We'll both be on the bed?"
"No."
"We'll both be on the couch?"
His eyes shot over to hers with a sexy, playful glint that made hiding her smile impossible. So she let it loose. And it dazzled him.
"Are you flirting with me?" he asked her, sitting on the bed.
Brenda was back on her guard right away. "Oh, don't you wish," she said, denying it.
"I do wish," he said, reaching for her hand and taking her by surprise as he pulled her towards him and onto his lap. "Of course, that could be very dangerous," he added in a whisper as he brushed his fingers across her lips and felt her heart racing madly against him.
"Dangerous?" she whispered, mesmerized by his nearness, the unexpected intimacy of the moment, and the lazy way his blue-green eyes roved over her face.
"Yes. Which of course is no deterrent to me at all," he said quietly, sliding one hand along her throat. "Any suggestions?"
Brenda could barely breathe due to the rush of delicious sensations running amuck inside of her at Jax's touch and soft-spoken, deliberately provocative words.
"Well, maybe you should stop touching me," she suggested, hoping he would refuse her.
He did. "I can't do that," he told her.
She willed herself not to smile. And then he softly kissed the side of her face, and she knew he had to feel the tremor that ran through her like liquid fire.
"Maybe you shouldn't kiss me, Jax," she said quickly, not sure how long she could keep herself from throwing her arms around him and making sure his next kiss hit her lips.
"Now that I agree with," he said, and she thought the entire earth must have heard her disappointed heart drop with a thud. "But I'm afraid I must insist on a kiss goodnight, or good morning, as the case may be" he said as the early morning sun began to rise a bit higher in the sky. And before she could so much as blink, his hands were cupping her chin and directing her lips on a slow path to his. The contact was sublime and scorching as they melted into a series of slow, passionate kisses. They had both known one kiss would never do, so when one turned into two, and two turned into twelve, neither of them thought a thing of it. The room seemed to spin off its axis as their tongues collided in slow, sensual exploration, and the deepening kisses began to reach exquisite fever pitch. When Jax managed to stop at kiss number fifteen, he was very pleased by the look in Brenda's eyes, for it matched everything he was feeling inside of him. The breathless wonder. The urgent longing. The blazing desire that electrified every cell within. The fantasy feeling that filled his soul and made him want to fly. Paradise, he reminded himself. Offer her paradise and she will stay. The look in her eyes made him think that their kisses had been paradise. They certainly had been to him.
She wasn't saying a word, only looking at him as if she was captivated by something indescribabe in his eyes. He stroked the column of her throat and felt the warmth of her resurfacing fever.
He shifted her gently onto the bed and got up. "I'll go get your medicine from the other room. You should try to sleep a little bit, Brenda. By the time you wake up, it should be around lunch time and maybe you'll have your appetite back," he said, recalling how she'd had nothing but soups and teas lately. "I can show you around the house and, also, if you're feeling up to it later, I need you to come with me to the jewelers," he added.
She didn't say a word as she watched him leave the room. Once he was gone she fell back against the pillows, clutching her racing heart. "Sleep? He thinks I want to sleep now? After kisses like that? Sleep is the last thing on my mind, " she commented to the vaulted ceilings as her body was burning with all sorts of desires provoked by Jax's expertise in kissing her. And then as she continued to marvel over the sensations she was feeling, she wondered why he wanted her to go to the jewelers? Two seconds later she realized why as she gazed at her ringless left hand. If they had to fool everyone into thinking they were married, having wedding rings would help. But she wondered why Jax didn't just ask her her ring size and go get the rings himself? Why did he want her to be there? She had to confess to being delighted that he wanted her with him to pick the rings out. He was constantly surprising her now --ever since they had gotten here. And he was making her plan to make him miserable get off to a terrible start, she realized with a sigh.
As Jax retrieved Brenda’s flu medication and made his way back to the bedroom downstairs where she was waiting, he lingered in the hallway for a moment feeling the change in the house. It suddenly felt so alive and electric with her presence. He was not imagining this, he really felt it. With an amazed shake of his head, he continued towards the room.
While she waited inside for Jax to return, Brenda was contemplating ways that she could get lots more kisses like those he had graced her with a few moments ago, and yet not have him realize how badly she wanted them. She decided she would try something and see if it worked. So when Jax opened the door and returned to the room he found that Brenda was apparently asleep. He rested her medication on the dresser wondering if he should awaken her to take them before she got too deep into slumber? But then he heard her murmuring and realized she was not fully asleep. He sat next to her on the bed and gazed down at her trying to determine if she was awake enough for him to wake her up.
"Brenda?" he said softly, running the back of his hand against her face and feeling she was even a bit hotter than when he’d left her a few moment ago. He really should wake her up.
She stirred and opened her eyes but was not really focusing on him.
"Is that you Brad Pitt?" she said in a drowsy-dreamy kind of a voice.
"What?" he laughed. "You have got to be kidding me . . ."
"Oh, it is you! Brad! This is my favorite dream," she murmured and then she encircled her slender arms around his neck and pulled him down to her.
"Whoa. Brenda, you are not dreaming" Jax warned her, "and I am not Brad Pitt," he added, scoffing at the comparison. He realized he really should wake her up now. But too late. Her lips had found his. Her body was arching sensually against his. And the fire was lit and there was not a damn thing he could do about it now -- except go into the fire with her. The kisses were smoldering and deeply intoxicating. Brenda thrilled to not only the kisses she so desired, but also the feel of Jax’s body halfway on top of hers. Feeling bolder since he thought she was in a dream-state, she slid her fingers into his hair, loving the feel of the blonde tresses sliding between her fingers. She angled her head left as Jax went right and the kiss exploded into something highly erotic. She was lost in a sweet oblivion of ceaseless sensations, but still she was very much aware of the rising pressure against her thigh and Jax’s hands sliding beneath her shirt, his touch burning her skin and making her feel wild and wonderful.
She panicked for a moment, thinking she was driving him to a point of no return, but also thinking she wanted to drive him there. And she wanted to be at that point with him and then see where they would go from there. The anticipation made her shake with excitement and a burst of nerves. Then she clamed down realizing Jax would never take advantage of her in what he assumed was not an alert state. So her eyes flew open in shock when she felt hiss hands toying with deliberate slowness with the front clasp of her bra.
He laughed when he saw her eyes fly open and her hands slid from their sensual exploration of his blonde hair to cover his wandering hands.
"Well look at that, she’s awake," he said and she barely had time to glower at him before he slid a spoonful of the horrid medicine in between her protesting lips. "Brad Pitt," he muttered, and she heard the laughter in his voice. Oh, no, did he know? Did he know she’d been faking the whole dream thing?
"I was not awake!" she insisted, mortified to think that he was now fully aware that she’d been tricking him for the purpose of being able to be lost in his kisses and held in his arms.
"No, of course you weren’t," he agreed. "The implications of your being awake would be pretty intense, now, wouldn’t they?" he said with a look that made her swear that he still didn’t buy her innocent act. "By the way, Brenda, there’s something that I need from you," he said, giving her an unwavering, serious gaze.
"What is it?’ she asked, sitting up on her elbows.
"Your trust," he said.
She shook her head. "But I don’t trust you," she told him.
He nodded, deciding not to push her on the trust issue yet. "Your allegiance then?" he requested.
"My allegiance?" she repeated, thinking it a strange choice of words.
"Your loyalty, Brenda. I know I really have no right to ask but, I will be needing it. You see there may be some people who are going to be showing up here -- maybe as early as tomorrow, I’m not sure -- specifically to meet you. And to see how you interact with me. I need to know that you’ll align yourself with me in my quest to prove to them that this marriage was not simply the revenge of a vengeful leprechaun masquerading as a priest. I need to know that you’re not going to go against me in this endeavor, Brenda." He paused. "I know you don’t quite trust me, but this is really important. I need you to be on my side in this."
She knew he must be talking about what Scott ahd told her earlier -- the fact that Jax's job was in jeopardy if his bosses got any inkling that the marriage was not on the up and up.
"You have my allegiance," she said without hesitation.
Jax was stunned by how quickly she had given it to him with no questions asked. That was a form of trust, wasn't it?
"Thank you," he said. And then he was overcome by the urge to kiss her. Brenda let him indulge in said urge, of course, as she took divine pleasure in being the recipient of his kisses and was not crazy enough to deprive herself of something she loved so much. Almost as much as kissing him back. But when they slowly pulled their burning lips apart, she made a show of pushing him away and off the bed.
"I said you could have my allegiance, Jax. I didn’t say anything about my affection," she said loftily as she snuggled beneath the blanket, wishing it were Jax she was snuggling against.
"Well I would say your affection doesn’t necessarily wait for your permission to exert its rights, as is evidenced by every single bloody kiss you’ve ever given to me," he murmured with a devastating smile as he tapped her playfully under the chin and walked away from her, over to the couch.
Brenda folded her arms and glared at his back, realizing she would have to do a much better job of making the man miserable! He was entirely too happy!
Manchester, England…
Jenna sat in the living room of her posh penthouse, her thoughts drifting on and off to a dark-haired FBI agent while she was absently filtering through tons of mail sent to her and all of her many aliases. Her eye caught on a fancy gold invitation sent to Gelina Soulis, one of her favorite aliases. She opened the envelope to find an invitation to an extravagant charity ball thrown by a Dimitri Marrick at a grand estate called Wildwind. Jenna gazed at the invitation with glittery emerald eyes. A fancy ball, lots of wealthy guests dripping in expensive jewelry. And it was a masked ball, no less. This was far too perfect a set up to pass up. She looked at the date of the ball. The weekend before Christmas. Just a few weeks away. This just got more perfect by the second! She could do some ‘Christmas shopping’ at this ball, she thought with a stunning smile, and come home with ‘gifts’ to sell to her Cayman Island contact for a sinful sum.
"And so back to the states, I go," she said popping out of her white velvet chair. She paused as she recalled Bastian’s directive for her to not pull any jobs without speaking to him about it first. He would not approve of this venture, she knew that already. Stealing jewels was ‘petty’ to him, although it was her specialty. Bastian only went for the big things like the Hope diamond or the Ruby of Isdarh. She shrugged. "No need to tell Bastian about this little trip," she smiled as she dialed her travel agent to make flight and hotel reservations for her latest crime spree. "Hello Brittany, this is Gelina Soulis. I’m going to need a round trip first class ticket to the States departing the afternoon of Friday the 18th and returning on the earliest morning flight on the 20th." She glanced at the invitation to get the exact location. "Some town called Great Falls, Virginia."