"The pathway is broken, and the signs are unclear.
And I don't know the reason why you brought me here.
But just because you love me, the way that you do,
I'm gonna walk through the valley, if you want me to."

     Brenda lay in bed at home, the covers tucked underneath her folded arms. She was looking up at the ceiling and waiting for the results of her pregnancy test. She didn't tell anyone that she was taking it, she didn't want to get Jax's hopes up. In the hospital, a few weeks ago, Jax had been a rock for her. She went home the next morning, feeling like she had failed her son. She didn't visit Joshua, she couldn't. In fact, she hadn't seen him in almost a week. She knew she had to go, but she couldn't bring herself to. Lois was here with her today, Jax was practically living at the hospital. Brenda heard the timer go off, and she threw off the covers to get up and discover the results. There was no feeling in her body, she was just ready to give up altogether if things didn't work out this time.

     Lois came into the room just then.

     "Don't get up, Brenda. Whatever you need, I'll get it for you."

     "You can't give me what I need, Lois," Brenda said, standing up. Lois eyed her suspiciously. Brenda was so sick of everyone looking at her as if she were going to break any second. "Stop looking at me like that, please. I'm not glass, Lois, I'm not going to brake if I go to the bathroom by myself."

     "Oh," Lois said, sighing. "Okay then." Lois sat down on the bed and asked Brenda, "You're thinking about Bess, aren't you?" Jax and Brenda's baby had been a little girl, and they decided to name her Bess, it was a name Brenda had always liked. Losing her little girl had nearly killed Brenda, and she really didn't know if she could take another disappointment. Lately, she hadn't been in bed because she needed or wanted to rest. She was literally retreating into herself, trying to accept the fact that she was going to lose everyone and everything she loved, and Isabella would be the only person she had left in the world.

"Cause I'm not who I was, when I took my first step.
And I'm clinging to the promise you're not through with me yet.
So if all of these trials bring me closer to you,
Then I will go through the fire, if you want me to."

     Brenda was going stir crazy waiting for Lois to leave the room so that she could check on the results. She had been thinking about Bess, but when didn't she think about her? There was less of her now, less of her heart, less of her mind. She didn't know how to be strong anymore, she didn't know anything anymore.

     "Look, Lois, I know that you're trying to help, and you are, but I really just think that I need some time to myself right now."

     "What you need to do is see your son," Lois said. "You haven't been in days, Brenda. He already knows about Bess, Jax told him."

     "What? I thought we were going to do that together."

     "IF you ever decided to get out of bed." Brenda turned her back to the wall and tried to ignore Lois." Lois set her mouth in a grim straight line, and then sighed, saying, "Brenda, I'm sorry, what I'm about to say is going to be harsh, but someone needs to say it to you. We all know you're broken up about this, that you're at your wits end, and you feel as though you're going to lose your mind, but your son is still here. These might be his last days, Brenda. He needs his mother more than anyone else right now, and it's no good for you to be cooped up here, denying that anything's going to happen."

"It may not be the way I would have chosen.
When you lead me through a world that's not my home.
But you never said it would be easy.
You only said I'll never go alone."

     "That's not what I'm doing, Lois," Brenda said calmly. "Josh doesn't need to see me like this, crying all the time. I don't even look like myself anymore."

     "He needs to see you, period, Brenda. He needs you to hold him and tell him everything's going to be okay. To kiss him and tell him his favorite story, and just BE with him--"

     "I CAN'T, don't you understand, Lois?!"

     "No, Brenda, I can't understand! You know, I have never understood YOU. You're so damn selfish all of the time. It's all about you and what you want--"

     "Don't you say that to me!" Brenda spat. "I am being anything but selfish. I'm not going to see Josh because it might hurt the baby, it might hurt me, and--"

     "Wait, what did you just say?"

     "Oh," Brenda put her face in her hands and sighed deeply. "The baby, Lois, the baby. Jax and I are trying again for another baby to save Joshua, and this time, I'm not setting one toe outside of that bed."

     "You're--you and Jax? When? How? I thought after Bess--"

     "So did I. I honestly didn't think I could go through it again, but I want this for Joshua, there isn't anything I wouldn't do for him, Lois, and I really resent you suggesting otherwise."

"So when the whole world turns against me,
And I'm all by myself.
And I can't hear you answer my cries for help,
I'll remember the suffering your love put you through.
And I will go through the valley, if you want me to."

     Lois tried to say something, but the words wouldn't come. Finally, she just said,

     "Brenda, I'm so sorry. Why didn't you tell anyone? Does Jax even know?"

     "No, he doesn't, because I didn't want to get his hopes up again. We were supposed to take a test this weekend, to be absolutely sure, but I couldn't wait, I had to know, so I took one by myself." Lois looked from Brenda to the bathroom.

     "Is that why you were getting up when I walked in here? The test, is it done?"

     "It's done," Brenda said, staring at the closed door.

     "Well come on then, let's go. Let's find out if--"

     "No, no, I can't," Brenda said, sitting back down on the bed. "I can't face Jax if it's not pink, Lois. Will you--will you look for me?"

     "Sure," Lois said quietly. "What am I looking for, here?"

     "Pink line, pregnant, no line, not preg--just, check please." Lois walked calmly, but quickly into the bathroom, leaving the door open behind her. It took her a few seconds to find it on the sink, and then she took it up in her hands and held it eye level, sighing deeply and shaking her head.

     "Thank God," she murmured to herself before running out of the bathroom and hugging Brenda. "It's pink, girlfriend, it's pink!!!"

     "It's pink?" Brenda asked, tears on her voice. "It's really pink? Oh my God, okay, okay," the tears of happiness were flowing freely down her cheeks. "What do I need to do? What, what? Get in bed," she said quickly, throwing the covers over her legs, and then quickly throwing them back off. "No, no, I have to get to the hospital! I have to tell Jax! Alexis! Oh, I need an appointment--"

     "You know she'll see you," Lois said, rushing around the room getting some things for Brenda to wear. "Just hurry and get dressed, be careful though, and hurry up. I'm going to get Isabella ready and then we'll meet you downstairs, okay?" Brenda nodded and once Lois had closed the door, she hugged a nearby pillow and screamed into it, the pillow muffling the sound. She laid back on the bed and sighed, rubbing her abdomen ever so slightly. Things were really going to be okay.

     When Lois and Brenda got to the hospital, they quickly found the waiting room at the end of the hall where John and Jane had taken up permanent residence. They went in and John stood, out of courtesy, and out of surprise at seeing Brenda.

     "Has something happened?" Jane asked.

     "Not on our end," Lois said, squeezing Brenda's hand underneath the coats that were slung over their arms. "Why has something happened here?"

     "No dear, nothing. We haven't been in to see Josh yet today."

     "You've been down here all day?" Brenda asked.

     "Yes well Jax has been with him, he's had several tests today." Brenda nodded. She should have at least known that. How detached had she really made herself? Brenda kneeled down to Isabella in her stroller and picked her up. She sat down and held her in her arms.

     "Did Jax say when he'd be back?" Brenda asked.

     "I'm right here," Jax said, sticking his head in the door. He was dressed in scrubs, and Brenda realized that he probably came straight from Josh's room. She stood and walked over to him, giving him a sweet and gentle kiss. He looked down and kissed Isabella on the forehead. "What's up?" he asked, motioning up and down Brenda's body.

     "Well, Lois said I was becoming a hermit, and I decided she was right, so I'm here. How's my baby?"

     "We don't have the test results yet," Jax stated plainly. To Brenda's ears, he sounded decidedly medical. She really didn't like his tone, but didn't push him.

     "Well when will we know?" she asked.

     "Soon," Jax said, "within the next two hours, I put a rush on the lab."

     "Two hours?" Brenda asked. "That's what the lab considers a rush?"

     "Don't get upset," Jax said, ushering Brenda out of the room. "We'll know soon enough. Why don't you come with me?"

     "Okay," Brenda said, holding Isabella closer to her so Jax could hold the door open for them. "What's up?" she said.

     "What's up with you? What are you doing here?"

     "You expected me to be somewhere else?" she asked. He gave her a look, and she nodded. "All right, I know. It's true, I've been MIA lately, and there's no excuse for that, but I had good reason, and now I can explain it to you."

     "So explain," Jax said, taking Isabella out of Brenda's arms and holding her, rubbing his hand up and down her back. The little baby cooed as Jax did this, and he smiled to himself.

     "Well," Brenda sighed, beginning to walk slowly down the hall with Jax, "you know how after Bess, we weren't really on the same page as far as another baby was concerned."

     "Right," Jax said, "you weren't sure you could go through it again if the same thing happened,"

     "And you weren't sure how you could go on or live with yourself if we didn't try again," Brenda said. Jax nodded. "Okay, well, you remember that we've been sort of trying, but not really getting our hopes up,"

     "Yeah," Jax said, as he stopped walking and stared at Brenda's back. She turned to face him, and smiled. His face was expressionless as he hung on her every word.

     "Okay, well I didn't want to get you excited for no reason, but I was feeling a little sick yesterday, and I know we decided to wait until the weekend to even take a test just to see, but--"

     "You took one today?" Jax asked, stepping closer to her. Brenda nodded and put her hands on Jax's arms.

     "It was positive, Jax! If the test is right, we're pregnant!"

     "Oh my God," Jax said, pulling her into his arms and getting a little cry of displeasure from Isabella."

     "Oh, I'm sorry baby," Brenda said, kissing the top of her head.

     "Brenda, this is--you are amazing," he said. "Oh! Are you all right? Do you need to sit down or something? Are you hungry? Thirsty?"

     "I could use a little water," Brenda said, "Will you get me a cup?"

     "Of course," Jax said. "Just hang on a second," he placed Isabella in Brenda's arms and hurried down the hall. He was back in no time with a paper cup of water. She drank it and smiled in thanks.

     "Okay, I took the test at home, and so far, Lois is the only one that knows, she read the test for me, I was too scared. So I came here to see Alexis, and to see Josh, I don't want anyone else to know though, until we're sure. I just don't think I can take all those looks of disappointment if we aren't really--"

     "We are," Jax said, leaning down and kissing Brenda passionately. "Just think positively, Brenda. I know it was hard with Bess and all, but--"

     "Speaking of her," Brenda said, looking at the floor, "why did you tell Joshua about her without me? I thought we were going to do that together."

     "Brenda, honestly, I didn't know when you were coming back to the hospital, and he already knew you were pregnant. He asked if you were sick or the baby was keeping you away, I'm sorry--I had to tell him."

     "I understand," Brenda said, trying not to cry. "Did he understand? I mean, you explained that we were still doing everything we could, and you told him not to give up, right? Because you know that he thought this was the only thing that was going to save him, and who knows what's going through his poor little mind, I mean--"

     "Brenda, Brenda, calm down, please. I did explain everything to him. He's being a brave little soldier, he's not scared at all. You know," Jax said, sitting down, "I told him, son you have a blood disease, and he says, 'Okay Dad,' like I'm telling him that there's no ice cream after dinner. I say, Son, you realize that you may not be able to run and play like the other kids because you're too sick, and you have to have another big needle, even though I promised you this was the last one, and he says, 'Okay Dad,' like I told him the most natural thing in the world, because he just believes everything we say, you know, because we're mommy and daddy, and we can do no wrong, and if we tell him something, then that's it. He just doesn't question, he just trusts blind, you know."

     "I know," Brenda said, holding Jax's hand.

     "I really don't want to tell my son that he's going to die," Jax said, almost sobbing. Brenda rubbed his back and whispered in his ears. He looked up when he heard Alexis' quick steps coming down the hall way. He stood up.

     "No, no, I don't have any news," Alexis said. "I just saw the two of you sitting here, and I thought that I would check in, if that's okay."

     "That's more than okay," Jax said, hugging her.

     "Actually, it's good you're here," Brenda said, standing up. "We have some news for you. We're pregnant again."

     "Really," Alexis said, not asking a question, but taking the word and saying it slowly, as if turning it over in her mind.

     "Yeah," Brenda said, "I mean, that's what the test said. You don't--you don't seem too excited about this, what--what's wrong?"

     "Nothing," Alexis said, putting an arm around Brenda and leading them down the hall towards her office. "Nothing's wrong at all. Um, why don't you come on down, we'll get you all set up, okay? Jax, you can take the baby, can't you?"

     "Sure," Jax said, "but I--I thought I'd go with Brenda."

     "She's fine with me, aren't you?" Alexis asked. Brenda nodded and said,

     "It's okay, Jax you go ahead and wait with your parents. I'll be back soon, and then I'll have news, okay?"

     "Okay, if you're sure," Jax said.

     "We're sure," Alexis answered. "We'll see you in a bit." Alexis and Brenda continued down the hall and stepped into Alexis' office.

     "Okay," Brenda said, "why are you acting this way, Alexis?"

     "What do you mean?"

     "I don't know," Brenda said, "indifferent. Objective. You're not just our doctor, you're our friend, at least, I thought we were."

     "Oh, Brenda, that isn't it at all. Of course I am your friend. That isn't my reason for hesitation. Sit down, please." Brenda sat and stared at Alexis, trying to read her expression. "Brenda, I'm not going to sugar coat it for you--it was only a few weeks ago that you lost your other baby, little Bess."

     "I know that," Brenda said.

     "And the risks are mammoth as it is, but another pregnancy right on top of the other, I don't know if that's a good idea."

     "Well tell that to this baby, Alexis, because it's already here," Brenda scoffed. "I am pregnant, I know I am. I feel it, and I took the test, I mean I know the home test aren't always that accurate, but--"

     "No," Alexis said, "They're quite accurate. If you and Jax have been trying, and you took a test, it's entirely possible that you are pregnant."

     "Well why are you being this way?" Brenda asked.

     "I don't want you to be disappointed if you miscarry again, Brenda. I wasn't surprised at all with Bess, I'm surprised the pregnancy lasted as long as it did."

     "Oh, okay then, fine," Brenda said through clinched teeth. "You know, I really don't need this from you or anyone right now. I understand the risks. I know that the chances of this are slim, but you need to understand that I have to do SOMETHING for my child. I cannot stand around and twiddle my thumbs, waiting for all these damn doctors to save my son. I can't and I won't, so if you're not going to be positive and help us through this, then I'll just find another OB-GYN." Brenda got her purse and went for the door. Alexis was up and at the door in a flash.

     "Brenda, that is JUST what I wanted to hear."

     "Really?" Brenda asked. "You know, you doctors--"

     "If I can really trust that you are going to go full force on this pregnancy and do what I'm telling you, then I will be with you and Jax the whole way, okay?" Brenda nodded and sighed, hugging Alexis.

     "I'm so glad you didn't let me walk out this door, I don't know what I would have done if I had to look for another doctor right now. Jax would have killed me, he says you're the best."

     "I am," Alexis smirked. "Now, let's see about you getting set up for that test, and then we'll go see your son, okay?"

     Later that day, Brenda and Jax made their way to Josh's room. Brenda wasn't prepared to see what she did. Jax had promised to always prepare her for something bad, but Jax was so used to seeing him this way, it didn't register with him anymore. Brenda walked mere centimeters in front of Jax, with his hand at the small of her back. Jax felt her immediately stiffen when she saw Josh. He was sleeping, or at least he appeared to be. He was very pale, and he was already a small child, so the weight loss made him appear even sicker. Brenda sucked in the air around her and grabbed Jax's hand for support. She made her way over to Josh, her scrubs rustling, and waking him, but he was sleeping very lightly. He smiled weakly and extended one of his arms to her. She knew she couldn't touch him, so she just waved, and he slowly put his hand back down, disappointed.

     "I missed you so much, Joshua," Brenda said.

     "Me too," he replied. His voice was so hoarse, it made Brenda cringe. "Are you feeling better now?" he asked.

     "I am," Brenda replied, thinking how selfish she must be to even pretend as if she were in worse pain than he was. His little body was fighting a big disease, something that a grownup couldn't take, so she didn't know how he was hanging on. "Are you feeling any better?" she asked.

     "Oh yes, my angels are with me," Josh said.

     "What?" Brenda asked, beginning to shake. Jax came up behind her and whispered,

     "Brenda, remember, we have always told him that he has guardian angels. Since they were babies, come on, you know that. That's all he meant." Brenda nodded and sighed. She was falling apart in front of him, and she knew that's not what he needed right now.

     "Okay," she sighed, "okay. Well Josh, did your daddy tell you about the baby? The baby that went to be with Jesus?"

     "Yes, he told me, I'm sorry your heart hurt mama," Joshua said, his voice breaking and cracking.

     "Don't be sorry, baby," Brenda said. "I'm just fine now, and so is your sister, Isabella, and--"

     "My other sister. You named her Bess."

     "Yes we did," Brenda said, holding back the tears. "And I know that you were disappointed, because we told you that your little sister was going to save you."

     "It's all right, mama, I understand."

     "But you shouldn't have to understand, Josh. That's why Jax and I are having another baby."

     "You are?" Josh asked.

     "Yes, I'm already pregnant, and I'm going to be extra careful this time, and I'm going to have this baby for you, all right? To save you, Joshua." Joshua nodded and turned his head from them.

     "Okay son, we know you're tired," Jax said, putting his hands on Brenda's shoulders. "We love you, and we'll come back tomorrow, okay?"

     "Will you be back sooner, Dad?"

     "Yes, I will, but right now, your mom needs to go home and rest. But I'll see you later, all right?"

     "Are grandma and grandpa here?" Josh asked.

     "They're right down the hall, and they send you all their love, and they've got just dozens and dozens of presents waiting for you when you get out of here, all right?" This time, Josh didn't answer, he didn't even acknowledge his father's voice. Brenda looked at Jax and asked him with her eyes if Josh was all right. "He's fine," Jax answered, "just down in the dumps." Brenda nodded and walked out with Jax. When they had discarded their 'gear' as Jax jokingly called it, Brenda apologized.

     "I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have told him like that."

     "No, you shouldn't have," Jax said, "but it's all right. I know that seeing him like that must have been a shock, and you just wanted to give him something to hold on to." Jax pulled Brenda into his arms and kissed her and then hugged her.

     "How on earth did we get here?" Brenda asked.

     "I have no idea, but I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here with me," Jax replied. "Promise me you'll be careful this time around, Brenda."

     "I was careful last time, Jax."

     "I know that, but this time the risk is even higher, Brenda, and I will not lose you. If it should come down to a choice between you and the baby--"

     "I'd want you to choose me," Brenda interrupted.

     "No," Jax said. "I mean we still have Isabella, she needs us both--"

     "No, Jax. I--I can't lose Joshua, he's--he's the best of both of us, and I couldn't stand to go on without him."

     "Brenda--"

     "Jax, if it should come down to a choice between me and the baby, PLEASE choose the baby, all right? Please."

     "All right," Jax said, not believing that he was hearing his own voice saying this. "All right."

     Brenda turned and looked at her profile in the mirror. She was now eight months pregnant, and over the moon as Jax often said. This pregnancy had gone wonderfully, and Brenda was on her feet once a day for ten minutes. She cut herself down to five though. Things were wonderful between Jax and herself, and she couldn't ask for a better pregnancy, given the circumstances. She was still tired beyond belief almost everyday. Most days she didn't want to get out of bed, even though she could. She didn't make it out to see Joshua at all, and that was what was most difficult for her, not seeing him and assuring him that she was okay, assuring herself that he was all right. This baby was to be a little boy and Brenda was due in less than two weeks. She had assumed Alexis would take the baby sooner, but by a miracle, Joshua had taken a turn for the better, and Alexis and Joshua's doctors consulted, and felt that he would be able to hold on for the duration of Brenda's pregnancy. She'd be going in for a C-section two days and she couldn't wait, not only to save her son, but to meet this new little person that she already loved with all her heart.

     Brenda was about to get back in bed when she heard a knock on the door. She was home alone, and wasn't expecting anyone. There was almost always someone here with her, but Jane was with John and Jax at the hospital, Ned was at work, and Lois had taken Brooke Lynn with her to the grocery store. Isabella was sleeping in the other room, so Lois didn't bother to wake her. Brenda didn't really want to brave the stairs, so she decided to ignore the door. But when the knocking became urgent and persistent, she decided to risk it and go downstairs. She eased herself down the stairs and had reached the landing and was about to go down the last part of the flight when she looked through the door and saw a man's profile that definitely wasn't Jax's. She walked the rest of the way down very slowly and began to shake as a hand went to the door knob. Sonny Corinthos turned around as she slowly opened the door.

     "Sonny," she said softly. "What--what are you doing here?"

     "Mum? Dad?" a voice said, coming into the room.

     "Natalie!" Lady Jane said, shocked to see her wayward daughter coming into the room.

     "I came as soon as I could," Natalie said, her Australian accent thick from spending most of her time in her native country. "I heard about Jax's boy, my poor nephew. Is there anything that I can do?"

     "Yes!" John said. "Brenda and Jax were trying to have a baby to save Joshua, but perhaps you could be tested. Maybe you match."

     "Where do I need to go to get tested? Where's Jax?"

     "There isn't time for that, girl," John said, giving Natalie a hug. "If you'd stay in one place for two seconds, then maybe we could have gotten a hold of you. How are you? Are you well?"

     "I'm well, Dad. I'm just so sorry I couldn't be here for everyone sooner. Where's Ned? Where's everyone?"

     "Who knows," Lady Jane said, elated to see her daughter and a possible savior for her grandson. "There isn't time to alert everyone, let's just get you tested as soon as possible." Natalie nodded, and hurried out of the room.

     Jax had just come from an emergency surgery in the ER and was beat. The only thing he wanted to do was stop off and see Josh and then go home to Brenda and Isabella. He headed into the lounge and was surprised to see Alexis standing just inside the door. He smiled at her and walked past her to his locker. She stood still, continuing to face the door.

     "What's the matter?" he asked, pulling his gym bag out and pulling on another scrubs shirt. Alexis was never like this, and when he slowly realized what might be bothering her, he slammed his door and tried to calm himself. "What is it?" he asked, "Is it Josh?"

     "Uh--Jax, I don't know how--"

     "Is he gone?" Jax asked, almost falling to his knees.

     "No, no! He isn't gone, but Jax--oh Jax, he's so close, I--I'm sorry--" Jax didn't let Alexis finish her sentence, he turned on his heels and raced up to Joshua's floor. He barreled through the doors, barely covering his mask with his hand. David pushed Jax back through the doors.

     "He's stable," David said before trying to calm Jax. Jax looked through the doors at Joshua's near lifeless body.

     "What happened?" Jax asked. "How? I thought he was better."

     "We all did, but he could have taken a turn for the worse as easily as he did for the better, and we told you and Brenda that. We told you when he improved that it was a miracle, that it was a surprise, but that it wasn't likely to hold out."

     "So what are you saying?" Jax asked. "Are you saying that he's past hope, because I just don't believe that."

     "No," David said, putting a hand on Jax's shoulder. "But you're a doctor, and so am I. We both know what the deal is."

     "Give me his chart," Jax said. He opened it and read over Joshua's blood cell count and cursed under his breath. "It wasn't supposed to EVER get this bad!" he yelled, throwing the chart across the room.

     "Hey, come on now," David said, "I'll ignore that one, but you know as well as I do, that we can't let this get out of hand."

     "I am so DAMN tired," Jax said, falling to his knees. "None of this was supposed to happen. I do not believe this. I'm a doctor, you know? I always said, 'I'm a doctor, so not my kid,' you know? And 'Not my wife.' My family was always going to be fit and healthy--"

     "We can't control stuff like this, Jax--"

     "Control, oh that's what it's always about, right? Control? My father, a business man, a multi-billionaire, all this money, all this power, and I can't do a damn thing for my own son. I can't save his life."

     "No amount of money was going to save him, Jax."

     "So what am I supposed to do now?" Jax asked, sobbing.

     "You're supposed to go get Brenda," Alexis said, coming in behind Jax.

     "There isn't time for that," David said somberly.

     "Look," Alexis said sternly, "you're the oncologist, and I let you handle your end, and now you better let me handle mine. Brenda and her baby are MY patients, and if I say they're ready, then they're ready."

     "But eight months, isn't that--isn't that a little early?" Jax asked.

     "Anytime before nine months would be risky," Alexis said, "and you're right, I might worry about lung development in another case, but Brenda is SO close to her due date, and we don't really have any other options, so you think you're up to the drive?"

     "My Dad, um, he might have to drive me," Jax said, looking everywhere in the room at once.

     "Okay," Alexis said, "that's fine, you need to go get him then, and bring Brenda back here as soon as possible. I'm going to prep an OR and have them ready for an emergency C-section, all right?" Jax nodded and went blindly out the door in search of his father.

     "Sonny, I'm not going to ask you again, what are you doing here?"

     "Oh that's nice," Sonny said, pushing past her and coming into the room. "You aren't even going to ask me in."

     "What do you want?" Brenda asked, rubbing her stomach.

     "It's real simple, really. I want my child, and you too, if you're willing, but I'm not willing to negotiate on Isabella, she's mine, and I want her."

     "NO!" Brenda said, rushing up the stairs.

     "All right, fine, you wanna play it that way? I got all the time in the world, sweet heart. But you need to be careful, don't you? I mean, you're always so tired, aren't you?" When Brenda reached the steps, she was completely winded, and she held on to the banister, thinking she might pass out at any moment.

     "You stay away," she said breathlessly, "from me and my daughter."

     "Our daughter," Sonny said, coming up the stairs very slowly, "has nothing to fear from me." Before he could reach the stairs, Brenda took off running and reached Isabella's door. She reached inside and locked the door and slammed it shut, locking both herself and Sonny out of the room.

     "How did you find out?" Brenda asked, her chest heaving as she tried to catch her breath.

     "What difference does it make?" Sonny asked. "I always told you that I would find out if she were mine, and I did. I'm here to take her with me, and you too, Brenda. I--I still love you, Brenda."

     "What?" Brenda asked, in disbelief. "You love me? You--"

     "I love you so much Brenda," Sonny said, touching her face lightly.

     "You don't love me," Brenda said, "You're trying to confuse me."

     "You do enough of that on your own, princess. You brought my child into the world, and I do love you for that, Brenda. Just come away with me, right now, we don't ever have to see any of these people ever again." Brenda used all the strength she had in her body to slap Sonny across the face.

     "You bastard!" she screamed. "Now I KNOW you don't love me. How on earth could you expect me to leave my son? If you know about Belle, then you know how sick Joshua is, and you know that I'm trying to save his life, and out of LOVE, you would come here and ask me to leave. What kind of a person are you?"

     "You know, I didn't bring anyone with me here today, because I thought I could convince you on my own, that this was the right thing to do. But apparently not. That's okay, we can do this the hard way if you want."

     "What are you talking about?" Brenda asked through clinched teeth.

     "I've been watching you and that husband of yours," Sonny said. "I know your schedules perfectly. He lives at that hospital, and your always here."

     "Someone will be with me!" Brenda spat.

     "Oh, like someone's here right now, right? You know Brenda, I know that Jax isn't going to be home for another two hours. I sent a little gift to the ER because I know he's the best doc they got on staff. And I know that he's going to pay special attention to that case, because that's the type of man he is. And I know that you're aware of his insecurities when it comes to you and I, the man has good reason. And I know you'd rather die than tell him I'd been here, and risk him thinking you're going to leave him for me."

     "Why are you doing this?" Brenda asked, in anguish.

     "I will not lose another child!" Sonny said, suddenly yelling at the top of his lungs. Brenda jumped and the sound awakened Isabella as well. Brenda tried to ignore her daughter's wailing. "I know when Jax will be back, so I'm going to go right now, and I'm going to bring back enough--assistance," Sonny said, choosing his words carefully, "to get my daughter, and take her out of here."

     "Never!" Brenda said. Sonny looked at her, and the last bit of love they might have had for one another disappeared. He shrugged his shoulders.

     "Don't think about going anywhere. I will have a few people watching the house in five minutes, and there's no car anywhere, and goodness knows that you won't get anywhere on foot."

     "You don't know anything about goodness, Sonny," Brenda said, wincing as a cramp attacked her lower abdomen. "Oh my God," Brenda said, clutching at her stomach. "Sonny, wait, please! Don't leave!" she screamed. He rushed back to her.

     "What? I knew you'd change your mind, baby."

     "I didn't change my mind, Sonny! I'm in labor, you have to help me."

     "No he doesn't," Lois said, coming and cocking a gun pointed directly at Sonny. He helped Brenda to her feet and stared in shock and disbelief at Lois. "You need to get the hell out of here, right now, and I'll take care of Brenda."

     "Oh, Lois," Brenda said, falling to the floor in pain. Isabella was still crying in the next room.

     "Get out Sonny, I mean it."

     "I don't believe you, Lois."

     "Don't believe what?" Lois asked. "That I'll fire this thing? I grew up in Brooklyn too, baby." Lois fired a shot that whizzed just past Sonny's ear, making him duck and Brenda scream. "Get out, now!" Sonny looked at Brenda and gave her a sinister smile.

     "I'll be back, and I'm coming after the both of you. Now that I know how you feel, there's no way I'm ever going to let either one of you go." Sonny took the steps two at a time and headed out the front door. He sped away, and Lois took no time getting to Brenda. Brenda handed Lois the key to Isabella's room from a nearby desk in the hall and Lois went to Isabella and soothed her while she tried to call an ambulance for Brenda. Before she could pick up the phone, Jax rushed in.

     "What's happened?" he said, seeing the smoking gun on the hallway table and Isabella screaming, and Brenda writing on the floor in pain. "Brenda?! Has she been shot?"

     "No, no!" Lois said. "Sonny was here."

     "Where?" Jax asked, his tone lethal.

     "He's gone now, I'll explain later. You need to get Brenda to a hospital as soon as possible." Jax nodded and picked Brenda up in his arms.

     "What is it?" Brenda asked, struggling to look at Jax's face.

     "Nothing," he said, "never mind."

     "I saw your face when you walked in here," Brenda said. "Is it Josh? Tell me, Jasper!"

     "He's near the end," Jax said calmly. "And we need you to get the baby out as soon as possible, Brenda."

     "Oh my God," Brenda said, sobbing as another contraction hit her, and for Joshua as well.

     Brenda gave birth to a healthy baby boy. When she woke up, she was alone in her room. She looked at the clock by her bedside table. It was 4:00 in the afternoon, and she had been in the hospital overnight. Her eyes got as big as saucers and she tried to get out of bed. Her stitches wanted to go one way, and she wanted to go another. She cried out in pain when she fell, and the sound alerted Bobbie Spencer, who rushed in.

     "Hey now," she said, "you better get back in bed. You need to get strong for your son."

     "My son?" Brenda asked. She'd known the baby was going to be a boy.

     "He's all right then?" Bobbie nodded.

     "He's just fine."

     "What about Joshua?" Brenda asked.

     "I'm sorry, Brenda, I just got on my shift twenty minutes ago, I don't have any information yet."

     "Well could you find out please?"

     "Of course," Bobbie said, rushing out. She hurried back in seconds later.

     "Oh! Would you like me to bring your son to you? I know you want to hold him, and maybe try nursing?"

     "Nursing?" Brenda asked. "He's strong enough for that? I mean he was premature, and I--"

     "Oh he was only about two weeks early," Bobbie said smiling at Brenda. "He's just fine, and he's been waiting to meet you."

     "No, I didn't mean that," Brenda said. "I meant, after the procedure, he's strong enough?"

     "Brenda, your son didn't have any procedure done to him."

     "Oh no!" Brenda said. "My other son, Joshua--"

     "He's just fine," Jax said, coming into the room. Brenda held her arms out for Jax and he immediately hugged her.

     "How?" she asked.

     "My sister," Jax said.

     "What?" Brenda asked, pulling back in astonishment. "Natalie's here? When?"

     "Yesterday. She came and was tested so quickly, and I was in an emergency, and then I came to get you, I didn't know she was here until they had taken you to prep you for the C-section. I knew that I couldn't be with you, so I went to check on Josh, and I found out she was there, that she matched, and that they had already started the procedure to save him."

     Oh thank God!" Brenda said, crying on Jax's shoulder. She calmed down enough to dry her tears. "So he's okay? My baby, Joshua, he's okay?"

     "He's doing fine," Jax said. "It was a success."

     "Where's Natalie?" Brenda asked, trying to get out of bed. "I have to thank her."

     "I imagine she'll be around later," Jax said at the sound of Bobbie coming back in the room. "She never stays anywhere long and the hospital won't be any different. But right now, there's another little fellow that you should meet." Brenda started crying again when she saw her son. He was beautiful, and when she held him in her arms, she thought her heart would break from happiness.

     "When can I see Joshua?" she asked, not looking away from her son.

     "In a bit, we have to make sure you're up for it, though."

     "Oh, I'm up for anything now," Brenda said, kissing her new son's forehead.

     "Including naming him?" Bobbie asked. "I'm afraid we can't keep calling this little bundle 'Baby Jacks'." Brenda smiled and said,

     "I think Nathan is good, what do you think?" she asked Jax.

     "Well we already have a J, and a B, so I think it's time for an N. Nathan's a wonderful choice, Brenda."

     "Nathan it is," Bobbie said. She quietly excused herself to make the necessary changes to paperwork.

     "I love you so much, Brenda," Jax said, kissing her lips. Brenda murmured 'I love you' in return, but something else plagued her mind. She couldn't shake Sonny's voice in her head, assuring her that he would be back for Isabella. "What's got you worried?" Jax asked.

     "Nothing," Brenda said. "Is Lois here? I want to talk to her."

     "She's right outside with Isabella, and she's been begging me to let her in here, so I will go make her a happy woman. I'll be right back." Jax left, and Brenda struggled to hold back the tears.

     Lois rushed in.

     "Oh, Girlfriend, I have so much to tell you, you'll never believe how much has happened since you came in yesterday."

     "What?" Brenda asked.

     "I take it you haven't seen the front page of the newspaper?" Brenda shook her head, and Lois held it at Brenda's eye level. The Port Charles Herald's front page read "Local Crime Lord Sonny Corinthos Killed in Car Accident"

     "Oh my God," Brenda said. "I don't believe it."

     "Believe it," Lois said. "Well it looks like all your problems are solved. You have your marriage back, you have a healthy son, a beautiful daughter, and a brand new baby." Lois hugged her, and Brenda sighed, closing her eyes.

     "Yeah," Brenda said. "It's all finally over."

Song Credit: "If You Want Me To" by Ginny Owens, written by her as well, on her album, Without Condition.