Things at the house had finally settled down. There had been no further "incidents" since the night Jax had been stuck in the library. At Brenda's insistence, he had made it a point of not bringing work home from the office. To Brenda the fact that there had been no further incidents only reinforced her belief that it was Everett who had trapped Jax in the library. She fully intended to make sure that he never brought work home again. She could not face being as scared as she had been that night.
The biggest issue they faced at the moment was Brenda's indecision of what she now wanted to do with her life. After notifying her agent that she was no longer interested in pursuing her modeling career, she was left with a tremendous amount of time on her hands and nothing to fill it. Jax had begun to notice her moodiness the last couple of days. She was becoming more and more irritable as well. For the last few nights she had been having trouble sleeping. Several times he had awakened during the night, when he realized that she was no longer in their bed. He would find her staring out the bedroom window, looking as if her thoughts were a million miles away. Each time he came up to her, she would try to make light of her restlessness, but Jax could not shake the feeling that there was more behind it than just her boredom.
When Jax and Brenda had been sitting at breakfast this morning he noticed that she had the beginnings of dark circles beneath her beautiful eyes. This concerned him. There had to be something out there that would catch her interest, yet leave her enough free time to spend with him and continue work on their "project". All he needed to do was help her find it. As he was leaving for work, he decided that today was going to be the day that either they, or at least he, would take some action to help Brenda out of this funk she had fallen into.
Shortly after Jax left for the office, Brenda again found herself caught up in the increasing boredom of her life. Benton had control of the daily activities of the house, supervising the cleaning staff, running the household errands, and helping Mrs. Kelly plan the dinner menu. All Brenda saw before her for the entire day was answering a few letters from friends and returning a few phone calls. Once these things were complete, she was at a loss for something to fill her day. She began to think that maybe leaving modeling had not been such a good idea. At least when she was modeling she had something to fill her days.
The biggest drawback and the main reason she had chosen to quit was the travel. Even after all this time she was not comfortable flying, unless she was with Jax. She knew that he could not continue to travel with her everytime she got an out-of-town assignment. After all, he did have a business to run, and after the attempt his family had made before the holidays to infiltrate it, she could not and would not allow him to neglect it because of her. She knew in the past he had often done that, and even though he would never admit it to her, it had cost him a lot, both financially and in terms of his company reputation. It was time for her, Brenda Barrett-Jacks, to stand on her own two feet. She was an intelligent woman with a lot of talents. All she needed to do was figure out what she wanted to do next and go for it. It was a given for her that whatever she chose to do Jax would support her choice unconditionally, that was just the way he was. All she had to do was make the choice, which right now she didn't seem able to do.
It had taken about two hours for Brenda to complete her letters and phone calls. She had been working in the library since, other than their suite, it was the room where Jax spent the most time when he was home. She loved the feel of sitting at his desk, in his chair, which was much too large for her. She curled her feet up under her and leaned back in the chair when she had finished, not wanting to leave, feeling closer to the other half of her heart when she sat here.
Eventually though she got up and left the room, taking the letters she had written to put on the foyer table for Benton to mail. As she was closing the doors, she thought she saw something move out the corner of her eye, causing her to look around the room before closing the doors. As she closed the doors the figure standing by the fireplace came out into the open, staring at the now closed doors. He was surprised that he felt no actual animosity for this young woman. She seemed to be an intelligent woman, willing to do anything to support her husband. His only problem was that she was also a distraction for him from the important things in life, business and profit. He was still working on a plan to convince the husband the error of his ways but had not been able to since SHE had convinced him to leave his work at the office, so he was spending very little time in the library. Somehow he would have to find a way to get through to him. Eventually the time would come when he would again be working here, and that was when he would make his presence known. The young man had great potential; he just needed the proper direction. Obviously, his own father had not properly trained him, so it was up to Everett to finish his education. Feeling satisfied with his progress, Everett faded back into the shadows of the library to wait for his opportunity.
After leaving the letters on the table, Brenda had wandered up to the sitting room of their suite. As she stood staring out the window, lost in thought, she suddenly noticed the smell of roses filling the room. She turned back into the room and saw HER standing by the door! Brenda blinked and blinked again, not believing what or who she saw standing in front of her. There before her was Madeline Stanhope! She looked to be a flesh-and-blood person, not some wispy specter! Brenda was sure she was imagining things. After all, there were no such things as ghosts!
"Don't be afraid, Brenda. I mean you no harm," Madeline said as she walked closer to where Brenda was standing. "I've been watching you and thought you could use someone to talk to since Jax isn't here." As she walked toward Brenda, she pointed toward the chairs by the window, indicating that Brenda should sit down, probably since she looked and felt like she might fall down. "Please sit with me. Tell me what's wrong."
When Brenda was finally able to move, she took a seat in the chair facing where Madeline stood, still not sure she was seeing what or who was in front of her. She was surprised to realize that she was not afraid and actually felt comfortable with her. "Who are you?" she asked, knowing what the answer would be even before she finished the question, but needing to hear her say it.
"I'm Madeline Stanhope, but you already knew that, didn't you?" Madeline had taken the chair facing Brenda.
"Yes, I've seen your picture in the research book our friend put together on this house. You and your husband, Everett, built this house, didn't you?" Brenda found herself becoming surprisingly more and more at ease in her presence.
A sad, almost wistful, expression came across Madeline's face, "Yes, we did. I only wish I had had more time to truly enjoy it. I have to tell you, Brenda, that I've seen many families live in this house, and quite honestly, you and Jax are the first I believe will make it the home I had intended it to be, and I want to thank you for that. Now, won't you tell me what is bothering you this morning? You looked so lost when I came into the room, maybe I can help. Will you let me?" Madeline reached out to touch Brenda's hand.
Brenda was surprised when she felt her touch; she had not expected it. "It's silly really. I'm just bored. You see, I've always led a very busy life. I ran a small record company with a friend for a while, in addition to being a full-time model. On top of that was a personal life that was full of more twists and turns than I care to think about. But now, the record company is gone, modeling no longer challenges me, and for the first time in my life I'm truly happy in my personal life. In fact, Jax and I are planning on starting a family as soon as possible." Brenda smiled when she thought a moment on that last statement.
"I know. I've heard you and Jax many times talking about your plans for your family. I have to tell you that I think it's wonderful. I appreciate your plans to use the next room as a nursery as well. It is the same room I used for my children when I lived here, you know." Again Brenda noticed the sadness on Madeline's face.
"I know, I saw the pictures. In fact, that was where I got the idea." Brenda actually smiled for the first time when she thought about the nursery. "Actually, we already have the furniture for it. It's in storage at the local university, under the protection of a good friend."
"So why the sadness, Brenda? It would seem that things are working out very well for you now. I know Jax is aware of your unhappiness. I've seen the concern on his face many times during the night when you are in the midst of nightmares, and he lies awake trying to comfort you without waking you."
Brenda looked up startled. "You've seen him at night? Do you watch us in our bedroom?" The sudden realization of what Madeline must have seen since she and Jax moved in brought the deepest shade of scarlet to Brenda's face.
When Madeline realized what Brenda was thinking, she quickly attempted to put her at ease. "I don't watch you and Jax, Brenda. It's only when something disturbs me that I come to check. The private times that you spend with your husband are yours and yours alone. Believe me, I would never disturb either of you. I've just noticed in the past few days your unhappiness, and felt it was time to let you know you have a friend." Again Madeline reached out to touch Brenda's hand, a gesture that Brenda found strangely comforting.
"I appreciate your help. The problem is I don't really know what is wrong. I've been bored with my life in the past, but it's never affected me like this. I have no appetite; I'm getting more and more irritable, even with Jax; and I haven't had a good night's sleep in a week."
Madeline could not resist the urge to smile. She knew the cause of Brenda's unhappiness, and it had nothing to do with her boredom. It was too soon for her to say anything to her though. This was something she would have to figure out for herself, and she would soon enough. In the meantime, Madeline decided she would try to distract Brenda so that she might make a career choice. After all, she had managed to run a home, have a family, and create her own successful perfume business in an era when women were not prominent in the world of business.
"Maybe it would help if you did some serious thinking about what you want to do next with your professional life. I know women of this era are quite capable of managing a career and a successful family life. Is there anything out there that interests you? Anything that you could see as a challenge?" Madeline looked deeply into Brenda's eyes, trying to get a feel for this young woman who had touched her heart.
"Well, actually there is something, but I don't know how to approach it." Brenda suddenly realized that there was something she wanted to do with her life, something that would challenge her and keep her busy, yet would also allow her time when she needed it.
"Sounds like a good start. What is it?" Madeline asked, liking the look of excitement that had come across Brenda's face.
"Well, when we bought this house Jax gave me free hand in restoring it. I worked with a historical consultant on the authenticity, but most of the ideas were mine."
"I remember, your choices were excellent. I appreciated your concern for accuracy in even the smallest details. That's the reason I felt bold enough to make a few changes when there were better arrangements. I was amazed at your uncanny ability to fit the right pieces to the right rooms. But, what does this have to do with your career choice? And why would you be unsure how to start?" Madeline could feel Brenda's growing excitement about her idea.
"Well, I was thinking of getting in touch with Matthew Rollins, the man who helped with this house to see about starting my own restoration business. Well, not exactly a restoration business, more like an historically authentic decorating business." Now that she had actually said it out loud, Brenda could feel her confidence growing. This was EXACTLY what she needed! She could take on as many or as few projects as she wanted. It would also be the type of business that she could run from the house and even walk away from for a while when she and Jax started their family (which she just knew in her heart would be soon). Yes, this was what she would do.
She couldn't wait for Jax to get home from work to tell him her idea. If he liked the idea, and she knew he would, she would give Matthew a call tomorrow to get his reaction. When she looked up to thank Madeline, she realized that she was alone in the room. Suddenly Brenda was not sure Madeline had ever really been there. Whether she had been or not, Brenda felt better than she had in a week. She couldn't wait for Jax to get home to tell him. When she looked up at the mantle clock she realized that Jax would be home in about an hour, so she rushed to change before he got home. As Brenda literally skipped into the bathroom to get ready, Madeline stood in the shadows of the fireplace, a smile on her face. This had been a good day for everyone so far, and she knew it could only get better when Jax got home. She faded slowly back into the shadows, certain there would be no bad dreams in this room tonight.
6:15P.M.
Brenda had changed into one of the outfits that Jax had especially liked when she had worn it on their honeymoon and was eagerly waiting for him to get home. When she saw his car turn into the drive, she ran to meet him at the door. As soon as she heard his footsteps on the porch, she opened the door for him and jumped into his arms, kissing him passionately. Jax was pleasantly startled by her greeting but quickly recovered and returned her kiss with equal passion. Obviously something had happened today that had brought her out of her funk. Whatever it was he was determined to support it. After several more equally passionate kisses, he finally set her feet back down on the floor. "To what do I owe that amazing greeting, and what do I have to do to guarantee getting the same everytime I come home?" He smiled brightly at her, seeing the twinkle back in her eyes for the first time in a week. This was his Brenda.
"Well, I just wanted to let you know how much I love you, that's all. Are you complaining?" she asked with the cutest glint in her eyes that Jax could not resist.
He again wrapped his arms around her, pulling her close to him, "Absolutely not! I'm just curious, that's all. What happened today? When I left this morning I was worried about you; you seemed so unhappy, but now you are your old self. Are you going to fill me in?" He looked down at her and felt comforted by the happy glint in her eyes and kissed her gently on the tip of her nose.
"Of course, I will. Why don't you take your coat off first? I asked Benton to serve dinner early. I hope you don't mind. I wanted to have plenty of time to talk to you about something." She helped him take off his topcoat and his suit coat, before taking his arm and leading him toward the parlor.
After giving Jax time to sit down on the sofa, she sat down quickly in his lap, again startling him. Jax got the feeling that this was going to be an evening full of surprises, and he was sure he was going to enjoy each and every one of them.
"Comfortable, honey?" Brenda asked as she settled herself in his lap.
"Yep, especially with you in my lap. Now, do you want to tell me what has brought about this change in you? I have to tell you, whatever it is, I support it completely." Jax wrapped his arms around her waist as she leaned down to kiss him.
"Well, I just hope you still feel that way when I finish telling you my plans. It is, after all, going to cost you a substantial amount of money, partner." She looked up coyly at him as she spoke.
"Okay, you've got my full attention now. What is this about a partnership?" He lifted her off his lap and sat her next to him on the sofa. "Talk to me," he gently instructed.
"Well, I was thinking this morning about what I wanted to do now that I've given up modeling. I have been trying to come up with something that would challenge me but not take up too much of my time. I didn't want anything that would require travel and being away from you, especially since we are planning our family now." She paused for a moment, trying to gauge his reaction; so far he was listening without opinion, that she could tell.
"And…" he waited for her to continue.
"And… I was looking around the house, and it hit me. I did a good job decorating this house, right?" She looked to him for a response.
"You did a fantastic job on this house, honey. How does that relate to your career choice though?" He had a pretty good idea where she was going, and he liked what he was thinking.
"Well, I was thinking that I'd give Matthew a call tomorrow and see if he'd like to work with me on future houses or public buildings. Think about it, Jax. I'd be the only decorator who specialized in period home or public building restorations. With all the renovation of the neighborhoods here in Port Charles, there have got to be more families like ours that want their homes to be authentic, but still comfortable. If Matthew is willing to work with me, his contacts with the antique dealers around the world would be a big selling point for our firm. What do you think?" She looked at him eagerly, holding her breath, waiting for his response.
Jax could not believe the change in Brenda. She had really found something that she wanted to do with her life, and it was something that would fit their family plans. He purposely held off answering her questions, enjoying watching her squirm. Finally he could make her wait any longer. "What do I think? I think it's a great idea! Whatever you need to start up the business is yours. How can I help?" He could see her relax as he spoke. "When do you want to get started?"
"Oh thank you, Jax! You won't regret this! I was thinking of calling Matthew tomorrow to see if he'd be interested." She jumped back into his lap and kissed him. Just then Benton came quietly into the room. He cleared his throat softly to interrupt them and announce that dinner was served.
Brenda and Jax spent the rest of the evening discussing her plans for her new business. Jax could not get over the change in Brenda since breakfast. She seemed to have finally found something to fill her life. He was even more amazed when she told him one of the best things about this type of job was that she would be able to take as many or as few commissions as she wished. Add to that the fact that she could work from home and even take as much time off as she wanted when their family plans became a factor. She had really considered everything and planned for even the unexpected. He was grateful to have his Brenda back. Once they finished a long leisurely dinner filled with discussion of her plans and his support, they had coffee and dessert by the fire in the living room. A short time later, they headed upstairs to privately celebrate Brenda's new career. They spent most of the rest of the night showing each other how happy they were with it, finally falling asleep wrapped in each others arms around 3:00 a.m.
March 16, 1999
The past two weeks had gone by quickly for Brenda. Her call to Matthew had gotten the response she had been hoping for. He not only agreed to work with her on her new business, but also was even able to provide her first client. They would begin plans for their first home in about two months, as soon as the new owners took possession. Matthew had already begun his research on the house and would be getting floorplans to Brenda as soon as she was ready. In the meantime, Jax had taken care of setting up the business end. He had his legal team do all the necessary paperwork, and his secretary had taken care of all the incidental office requirements. She had even volunteered her time to help Brenda set up an office at the house. Since no one anticipated that there would come a day when all six guestrooms would be needed, one of them had been converted into an office for Brenda. She and Matthew had taken great care to decorate it properly, feeling that if future clients would see not only Brenda's home, but also the care taken in her office, they would be more likely to choose her firm.
There had been no more bad dreams or periods of irritability since Brenda had started this project. She was energized and excited about everything. The only thing that had not gone away was her lack of appetite. That seemed to have gotten worse. The past few days she had not been able to bring herself to eat much, and when she did, she found herself sick to her stomach almost immediately. When Jax mentioned his concern about her lack of appetite, Brenda just brushed it off as nerves. She reassured Jax that she was fine and that as soon as the business was organized, she was sure that she would catch up on all the meals she had missed.
For some reason Brenda was having a hard time concentrating today. Not only was her stomach giving her problems, but also she found herself being moody and volatile, two things she never was. To top it all off she was late, almost two weeks late. She knew she had problems in the past when she was stressed, but this was different. If things didn't straighten out in the next few days, she decided she would make an appointment with Dr. Meadows for a checkup.
The day had gone by quickly. Before she realized it, Brenda heard Jax's car in the driveway. Feeling suddenly exhausted, she got up slowly from her desk and headed downstairs to greet him when he came in.
After closing the front door, Jax turned around to see Brenda heading down the stairs toward him. He walked to meet her at the foot of the stairs. All of a sudden, as she got two steps from the bottom, Brenda began to feel lightheaded and the room began to spin. She grabbed the banister tightly, willing herself not to fall. When Jax saw the color drain from her face he ran to her, catching her just as she passed out. He scooped her up into his arms, calling out for Benton.
When Benton and Mrs. Kelly came running into the foyer, they found Jax standing at the foot of the stairs, still wearing his topcoat, holding an unconscious Brenda in his arms. "Benton, call General Hospital and tell them we're on the way in. Tell them to have Dr. Monica Quartermaine waiting in the emergency room for us. Mrs. Kelly, would you call Travis and have him divert the security patrol car to come pick us up? I don't want to leave Brenda alone." Both Benton and Mrs. Kelly ran to make the calls.
When Mrs. Kelly finished explaining to Travis what had happened and been told that the car would be there in minutes, she also called Thomas, knowing Jax would need him at the hospital with him. Thomas told her he would meet them at GH. Mrs. Kelly headed back to the foyer to let Jax know that the car would be there any minute. She found Jax still standing in the same spot holding Brenda in his arms. The panic on his face pulled at her heart. "Jax, Travis said the car should be here in about two minutes, so hold on. I also took the liberty of calling Thomas. He said he'd meet you two at the emergency room."
Just then Benton came back. "Dr. Quartermaine will be waiting for you. She said to keep Brenda warm and bring her in as quickly as possible. She asked if you wanted an ambulance dispatched, but I assured her that security would get you there faster. She also said she would have a Dr. Meadows standing by, in case she was needed."
"Thank you both. Mrs. Kelly, would you get the throw from the sofa in the parlor? I don't want to put Brenda's coat on her, and it's too cold outside for her to have nothing on." Mrs. Kelly ran to get the throw. Just then they heard the car drive up. Benton opened the door for Jax just as Mrs. Kelly wrapped Brenda snuggly in the blanket, giving her a maternal kiss on the cheek as she did.
"Take care, little one." Mrs. Kelly whispered as she patted Jax's arm in a gesture of reassurance.
Jax headed out the door to the waiting car. The security officer already had the door open, waiting for them. Jax quickly got into the back seat, never releasing his hold on Brenda, and the car sped off.
To Jax it seemed to take forever for them to get the hospital. When they pulled up to the ambulance entrance, the hospital was ready for them. Monica met them at the door with a gurney and a full crew. The orderly reached in and took Brenda from Jax, who was reluctant to let her go, until Monica touched his arm to let him know she needed him to release her.
As she was being wheeled into the treatment area, Brenda began to regain consciousness. She was very disoriented at first, not really sure where she was. She tried to sit up, but quickly realized that was not a good idea. As soon as she became more aware of her surroundings, Brenda realized that she was in the hospital and started immediately looking for Jax. When she did not see him, she became frightened. When she recognized Monica standing next to her, she calmed slightly.
"Monica? What happened? Why am I in the hospital? Where's Jax? Is he okay?" Brenda felt the panic building with each question she asked.
"Slow down, Brenda. Let me try to answer your questions in order. First of all, you're in the hospital because you passed out at home. Jax is fine. He's the one who brought you in, and he's waiting for you in the corridor. Why don't you let me finish my examination, so he can come in here to see you? I think he's driving the entire staff crazy out there, insisting on coming in. He said something to me about a promise to never leave. Do you know what he means?" Monica looked down at a rapidly calming Brenda, surprised how the mere mention of Jax and his promise calmed her.
Brenda smiled, "Yes, I do. It was something we promised each other the day we got engaged. Monica, please let him in, or at least send someone out to tell him I'm okay! I don't want him to worry."
Monica looked over at one of the nurses, indicating she should do as Mrs. Jacks asked. "Okay, Brenda, now that we've taken care of Jax, what about taking care of you?"
Shortly after Jax and Brenda had arrived and been separated, Thomas found him literally wearing a path in the floor outside of the exam room, waiting to hear any news about Brenda. Thomas was startled by Jax's appearance. He looked frightened; something he had never seen on Jax's face before. He was amazed at the obvious depth of his love for his wife. This was a time when Jax really needed his family, but they were nowhere to be found, having lost the right to be here by their actions over the past year. Thomas felt a sudden protectiveness toward Jax that he could not remember feeling since Jax had gone on his "walkabout" when he was ten. Whatever was wrong with Brenda, Thomas vowed to stand by both of them, whatever happened.
A short time later Monica Quarteremaine came out of the exam room. As soon as Jax saw her, he nearly ran up to her. "Monica, is she okay?" the fear he was feeling obvious in his voice. "Can I see her?"
"She's fine, Jax. Dr. Meadows is with her right now. Why don't you give them a little time? I'm sure you'll probably be able to take her home in a little while." Monica was having a very hard time not smiling.
"What happened to her, Monica? She was just coming down the stairs like she's done a hundred times since we moved into the house, and she passed out! No warning; just out cold!"
"Well, I can tell you the stairs had absolutely nothing to do with her fainting. Jax, has Brenda been having trouble keeping food down lately?" Monica was trying to take this slowly to give Dr. Meadows time to finish with Brenda because she knew what Jax's reaction would be when he heard the news.
"As a matter of fact, she has. She said it was from the stress of starting up her new decorating business. She told me this morning that as soon as the business was up and running, she planned on making up for all the meals she missed. Is that why she passed out, from not eating properly?" Jax seemed to be relaxing slightly as soon as he heard a simple explanation for what happened to Brenda. Thomas, on the other hand, had already figured out what Monica was getting at and found himself having to stand behind Jax so as not to let on.
Thomas could not believe how slow Jax was to catch on to what Monica was trying to tell him. He had figured it out as soon as she asked about Brenda's not eating. Why hadn't Jax?
"Not exactly, Jax, although it may have contributed to her fainting tonight. Jax, there is nothing physically wrong with Brenda. In fact she's in perfect health." Monica could not believe Jax had still not caught on. She wondered if Alan had been this slow.
"I don't understand, if she's in perfect health, why did she pass out?" Jax was totally confused now. He had no idea what Monica was getting at.
"Jax, Brenda's not sick, she's pregnant!