As the party got underway, Iris and Lilith were seated at a table near the champagne fountain while Ava, as Jax’s date, was seated at the family table to Jax’s left. Ava was extremely agitated however, to discover that to Jax’s right was none other than the young goddess a.k.a. her step-sister. Upon seeing Brenda to Jax’s left, Iris was filled with displeasure too. She calmed herself by remembering how she intended to humiliate Brenda tonight and wipe that bewitching dimpled smile right off of the young girl’s face. Iris was not seated where Brenda could easily see her, but Iris did not mind. The element of surprise would now be fully on her side and she would blow this kid’s word apart.

     Chad entered the banquet room eager to see Brenda. The sight of her alone in that delectable outfit revved up his already overheated engine and he could not wait to talk to her about rescheduling their nuptials. He was upset however when the seater escorted him to a table with his sister.

     "Excuse me, I believe there is a mistake. I’m supposed to be seated next to that young lady over there," Chad said pointing out Brenda.

     The seater looked at the place card on the table they were standing at. "You aren’t Chad Stanton?"

     "Yes, I am ,but . . ."

     "Then this is your seat sir. Table 4, seat 2. Enjoy the evening. Please excuse me."

     Reluctantly, Chad took his seat, very annoyed now. Not only was he not seated where Lady Jane had promised he would be, but Jax was next to Brenda, which greatly disturbed him.

     Watching Chad, Niles chuckled to himself. He reached in his pocket and removed a gold plated name tag that said CHAD STATON, TABLE 1 SEAT 7, crumpled it up and tossed it over his shoulder into the trash.

     As dinner commenced there was bubbly chatter and lots of laughter as the New Orleans Symphony played lovely dining music for the banquet portion of the gala. Jax did his best to be attentive to his date Ava, but his playful attentions were mostly being showered upon the beautiful creature to his right which made Ava’s blood boil.

     Jax leaned closer to Brenda and whispered to her, "I dare you to eat that," as he indicated a new covered dish which was being brought around by the wait staff.

     The silver top was removed revealing the dish itself and Brenda’ s hazel eyes flew open which made Jax laugh.

     "What is that?!" she asked him in horror.

     "I believe it’s a delicacy commonly known as Octopus."

     She closed her eyes tightly and grabbed his hand under the table.

     "An Octopus?! That’s disgusting!" she whispered.

     He laughed, adoring her forthrightness. "How do you know that until you try it?" he said logically.

     "I’m not eating that! Jax, it looks like it’s still alive!" she said averting her eyes in her on-going horror from the eight legged meal.

     He lowered his head, laughing and she started laughing too.

     "I’m sure it tastes like chicken," he said which made Brenda and also Juliet, who overheard laugh.

     There was silence then as the servers sliced up the creature and Brenda thought she would gag as the New Orleans mayor took a leg and champed away on it.

     "Oh God!" she said as if she had just witnessed a beheading, and her antics were just cracking her husband up while an angry Ava wondered what the hell was so amusing between them.

     A server offered Brenda a leg. She gulped and shook her head. "No thank you. But Jax, didn’t you say you were dying to have some?"

     They both started laughing all over again as Jax shook his head before the server cold place the wiggling appendage in his plate.

     "You almost got me," he said to Brenda when the server was gone.

     "I know," she giggled. "Would you have eaten it if she gave it to you?"

     "Hey I’m a deep sea diver. Sea creatures are sacred to me."

     "Sacred my foot. You eat shrimp, Jax," she reminded him.

     He shrugged. "Everybody eats shrimp. Shrimp eat shrimp."

     Brenda felt a giggle fit coming on and grabbed her glass of sparkling cider and took a refreshing gulp. Beneath the table her hand still rested comfortably in his. She gave him a sideways glance and a titillating smile as she slowly threaded her fingers between his. It was a simple, non-erotic gesture, and yet Jax felt that little thrill of the dangerous game they often seemed to play with one another. Not to be outdone, he stoked his thumb gently against the sensitive area of her wrist and smiled in satisfaction at the way he felt her pulse begin to leap about like a Kangaroo on Caffeine. In retaliation for that, Brenda slid over in her seat ever so slightly so that she was closer to him, her thigh touching his and then she took it one step further, lifted her leg and placed it over his. He nearly choked on his appetizer and, knowing that she was obviously getting to him and grinned triumphantly. Jax rose his glass of champagne to her glass of sparkling cider in what she took to be an admission that she had won this millionth round.

     But then he whispered to her. "The night is young, Brenda. Beware."

     Her response was an inviting smile. "Promises, promises," she said with a little sigh and a little wave of her hand.

     Ava grew continually vexed as her date continued to be captivated by her step-sister while paying Ava herself only polite attention. Iris was even more upset with the chemistry between Jax and Brenda than her daughter was and it took all of her control not to rise from her seat and light into Brenda something fierce. And also falling into the category of the furiously upset were the Stanton siblings who were both extremely displeased with what appeared to be a new dimension to the already infuriating Jax and Brenda dynamic.

     When dinner was over the entertainment immediately followed, denying both Iris and Chad the opportunity they were itching for to leave their seats and get to Brenda. A salute to Broadway was the theme for the entertainment this evening and it began with a bang with The Rockettes kicking away with precision to the song "One" from A Chorus Line. Next was Tony Randall belting out the theme from Sunset Boulevard, then Bette Midler doing a stunning rendition of "Memory" from Cats. This was followed by Liza Minelli doing "If They Could See Me Now" from Sweet Charity, then Brenda and Juliet got up to do their duet, a hysterical version of "Wouldn’t It Be Loverly" from My Fair Lady which brought on raucous laughter and equally raucous applause and inspired further Brenda-envy from Ava and Iris. The show-stopper, however, was Justin who’s Les Miserables "Bring Him Home" brought the house to sheer pandemonium of applause. And the finale was performed by the Orpheum Theater Ensemble the song "Mame" from the musical of the same name, except that Mame was replaced by "Jane" and the song was a tribute to the party’s generous hostess, Jane Jacks.

     After the marvelous entertainment, it was finally time to walks across to the ballroom to dance and mingle to some fabulous music of the roaring 20’s.

     "Before we head across to the ballroom to do the Charleston until we drop," Jane said, "I’d like to thank you one and all for coming to celebrate the re-opening of one of New Orleans finest landmarks, the dazzling Orpheum Theater. The Theater Director has also asked me to announce that the smash musical Rent will be coming to the Orpheum this fall so reserve your tickets, now because this one sells out in droves. Now then, there will also be a Christmas Spectacular very much like the one at Radio City Music Hall this winter, and again, we expect that to sell out so don’t delay. Anything I forgot?" she asked gazing at the theater director.

     The director stood up. "Well I’d just like to add my heartfelt thanks to the inimitable Jane Jacks and also Mrs. Lilith Taylor who helped put this magnificent gala together. I would like to announce that I’m doing my darndest to convince Justin Jacks to take his talents to the stage!" he said to laughter and applause.

     Lady Jane smiled as the director sat down. "Anything else?" she asked.

     Jax stood up and his mother got that "uh-oh" look on her face.

     "I have an announcement," Jax said.

     Brenda felt giddy and she held her breath in anticipation, but beneath the table her legs were bopping up and down with nervous energy. Juliet looked at her and grinned with excitement.

     "Last night," Jax began, as his mother watched him nervously, never knowing what in tarnation her son was up to, "I walked into this church empty handed, and I came out with this . . ." he paused thoughtfully, " with this beautiful yet strangely annoying thing," he glanced down at Brenda who was laughing. "Her name is Brenda," Jax said taking her hand as she stood up. "And as of midnight last night, she became my wife," he announced as he kissed her hand which sported her new rings which glittered magnificently in the glow of the chandeliers.

     Gasps, both soft and loud, echoed across the room with one notable screech from Amber. Lady Jane was wide eyes, her mouth hanging open and she looked as if she would drop to the floor. Justin and Jerry just shook their heads smiling unable to be shocked by anything Jax did anymore, although this was really a doozy. Avaline had gone pale and Iris had shot up from her seat and screamed out the word "NO! Damnable wretch!" but it had been drowned out by Amber’s own shriek. Chad was caught between absolute shock, denial, and fury. Dorie was relieved to know she had not been out of her skull after all. And John Jacks bellowed out a hearty laugh of approval. "Good going son! Stole her right from old Zeus himself!" he said as everyone began to clap and cheer and offer up their happy congratulations to the bride and groom.

     "Rather sudden, isn’t it old boy?" Richard Kennedy said to Jax as he shook his hand.

     "I didn’t want her to get away," Jax responded.

     "Understandable. Completely understandable," Richard nodded as he looked wistfully over at the new Brenda Barrett-Jacks, forever off the market.

     "You? Married? The one who said he wouldn’t get married till he was damn near forty?" Mark O’Keefe, yet another name on Brenda’s list (which Jax had happily burned last night), said laughingly to Jax.

     "Some things are worth reassessment of one’s life goals," Jax said, thinking that sounded like a good answer & wondering if there was any truth to his phrasing it that way.

     "Oh yes, she is definitely one of those things," Mark agreed. "Congrats chum. You know you beat us all to the punch."

     "I know," Jax said.

     Jerry walked up behind Jax and slapped him on the back. "Damn it Jasper, you always have to be the attention getter don’t you? Last year it was the harem, this year it’s a secret witching hour wedding" he grinned. "God, I hope you know what you’re doing."

     "So do I," he murmured as in his mind he added up and equation: Platonic Marriage + Living with Brenda = no way Jose.

     "You’re breaking our code, Jax. Getting married 16 years before D-day," Devon sighed. "Now what am I supposed to do, get married too?"

     "I wouldn’t say that too loud in front of the pest if I were you," Jax whispered, nodding his head towards where Juliet was close by.

     "You know Jax, I’m not sure I could handle a wife as insanely gorgeous as Brenda," Jerry mentioned. "I mean, how can you ever trust her?" Jerry wondered. "She’s like a walking honeycomb to all the men bees of the world, through no fault of her own of course. But still . . .."

     "She’s the honey, all right," Jax agreed. "But I think she’s a one-bee kind of woman," Jax said, unconcerned about Brenda and the matter of fidelity. Almost from day one he had felt her attraction to him, her connection to him and he didn’t think anyone could push that train off the track.

     "And to the victor goes the goddess," Justin said coming over to give Jax a high five and then a hug. "Congratulations, Jax. See I knew she would get you. Pay up everybody," Justin added as he held out his hand and Devon and Jerry forked over their cash to him.

     "Hey, I got her and not vice versa, okay?" Jax insisted to which Jerry, Jax and Devon all looked at him as if he were delusional.

     Meanwhile Brenda was surrounded by well wishers, even though many of the female well wishers seemed very phony in their congratulations. Lady Jane was absolutely thrilled to have Brenda as her new daughter in law and was bubbling over like a shaken up bottle of champagne as was John who while hugging Brenda whispered to her "Darling, anyone who can rescue my son from the persistent clutches of the slightly psychotic Amber Stanton is forever endeared to me!"

     Through the crowd came Chad. Jax spotted him and broke away from his brothers and friends to find Brenda just as Chad got to her.

     "Tell me this is some insane jest of Jax’s," Chad said to her as his eyes raked over her, a mixture of anger and fermenting desire.

     Brenda put on an act of contrition. "Chad I tried to find you but no one seemed to know where you were and . . ."

     Jax stood next to Brenda. "It’s not an insane jest," he told Chad. "Brenda and I got married last night, she is my wife now and that’s the way it is," he said taking Brenda’s hand. "Any problems with that?"

     Chad gave Jax a cold, hard stare. "No problems, old friend. I only find it peculiar that Brenda was supposed to marry me and somehow ended up with you. What would you call that, a fluke?"

     "I would call it good luck for Brenda. She was going to marry you for all the wrong reasons," Jax said. "And for that matter you offered marriage for all the wrong reasons and with a bunch of ridiculous promises that I know you had no intention of ever keeping," he added.

     "Brenda found it acceptable," Chad reminded him. "She was in fact quite eager. It seems to me that the only way she ended up with you, my friend, was due to my bad luck yesterday. So that would make you the second choice so to speak. Not usually your speed, is it Jax?"

     "Jax was my first choice," Brenda said, getting annoyed with Chad. "And he was my second choice and my third choice. He was the only choice I wanted."

     Was that a fact?, Jax thought to himself. So then she was probably never really going to marry Chad at all then was she? Hmm. Verrry in-ter-est-ing . . .

     "Brenda," Chad said tolerantly. "You’ve got a crush on him, I know that. Most girls have that reaction to him, but it passes once they realize that he is hardly a one woman man. I promised you a platonic marriage to save you from your stepmother. Do you really think you will get such a deal from Jax?" he asked remembering the sizzling kiss he had witnessed between the two of them on the Patio at Jacks Isle.

     Brenda was becoming more annoyed with this man with each passing second. "I don’t want a platonic relationship with Jax, " she confessed, which shocked Chad but was not really much of a surprise to Jax. "But he promised it would be that way and I trust him more than anybody. He would never lie to me or say one thing just to get me to do another."

     Chad felt a volcanic eruption of anger surging inside of him -- to hear from her own sweet lips that she did not want a hands-off relationship with Jax but did want one when Chad had been the groom du jour. His anger and envy threatened to boil over, but he knew that to blow up was not the answer. He already felt that she was giving him attitude and would defend Jax to the death. He could not risk alienating her any further by going with his real feelings.

     "I apologize," he said, "To you both. I suppose yesterday was just such a godawful day and then the shock of this . . .but the truth is, Brenda you are my friend and Jax, you’ve been my friend for years. This marriage between the two of you is probably the best case scenario. This way you can get your money, Brenda, and you don’t have to move out of the mansion or make any drastic changes. Plus, Jax is a gentleman and he has never broken his word in all the time I’ve known him so his promise of celibacy is as good as a solemn vow. Do you still plan to annul once you get your money?"

     "Yes," Brenda said only because Jax was standing right there and she couldn’t very well say what she really wanted to which was "not if I can help it!"

     "Well then again, I apologize. I’m very glad Jax was there for you Brenda since I really screwed up and let you down. Best of luck with this charade to you both," he said as he walked over to the ballroom.

     "I want you to stay away from him," Jax told Brenda.

     "Okay," she said easily, thinking it would be a pleasure.

     He smiled down at her. "I love you when you’re compliant," he said kissing her cheek.

     She wished he had left out the "when you’re compliant" part, she thought with a grin.

     "Well Brenda," came a grating and unpleasantly familiar voice behind her, "it would appear that congratulations are in order."

     Brenda turned around to find Iris standing there with Mrs. Taylor’s granddaughter next to her looking at Brenda as if she would like to crucify her.

     "And here I thought you were at school studying away, but all the while you were just falling in love," she said with a big smile.

     Brenda looked at her in confusion. What the heck was she up to?

     "This is your stepmother?" Jax asked.

     Brenda nodded.

     "I don’t understand. Then that means this is your stepsister, and yet the two of you never seemed to recognize one another?"

     Brenda looked at Ava. "You’re Avaline?"

     "Yes," Avaline said coldly.

     "Avaline, do watch your manners," her mother said as if upset by her daughter’s attitude. "You see Jax, Avaline and Brenda have never met so it really isn’t all that odd that they wouldn’t know each other," Iris explained.

     Ugh! Brenda thought. She was being the phony-nice Iris and not at all like her true self!

     "I’m so very happy to welcome you into our family, Jax dear," Iris said with a smile.

     "Now wait just one minute!" Brenda said, sick of the charade. "What are you trying to pull, Iris?"

     "Pull? Brenda darling, of course I’m a bit upset with you for lying to me about what your summer plans were but . . ."

     "Brenda darling?" Brenda said making a face. "What happened to wretch and hazel eyed brat from hell and teenaged twit? Come on, Iris don’t try to run a game on me in front of my husband. I already told him the deal about you and Jax believes me."

     "Well now sweetheart, I haven’t a clue as to what you are talking about, but Jax knows me also, you know. And I’m sure he knows I’m certainly not the monster you seem to want to portray me as."

     Iris and Brenda both looked at Jax.

     "I haven’t seen anything monstrous about you," Jax said to Iris, who beamed, "but," he added, "Brenda doesn’t lie to me so, I believe her."

     Brenda looked at him in amazement. Wow, did he really mean that? Wow!

     Iris looked stunned.

     "Well I understand your loyalty to your er. . .wife, but Brenda is only a child . . ."

     "She isn’t a child. Look, I’m not sure about all the specifics of what is wrong between the two of you and if it can ever be repaired but it should all be irrelevant now. Brenda is my wife and my family is her family now."

     Iris was getting a bit testy. "Jax, are you aware than my stepdaughter has some money coming to her which her father, bless his sweet departed soul, stipulated she can’t get until she’s 25? But there is a loophole – a way for her to get her hands on it and that is if she gets married before she is 25. I’m sorry to say that I think that may have played a significant part in her seducing you to the alter, and as her legal guardian I . . ."

     "You’re not my legal guardian anymore," Brenda interrupted her.

     "And she didn’t seduce me, I chased her relentlessly and seduced her night and day until she could no longer resist. I just plain old wore her down," Jax said giving Brenda a wink that made her smile and made Avaline turn first red then green with envy.

     "I see," Iris said. "Well I must tell you that I don’t think a judge will buy that. You’ve only known each other for seven days and you happen to get married on the very same day that I arrive in town to bring my stepdaughter home? It reeks of an intentional plot to me."

     "Prove it then," Jax challenged her as he took Brenda by the hand and led her away from Iris and an Ava and into the ballroom.

     "You know she’s going to do exactly that, don’t you?’ Brenda whispered to Jax.

     "What? Oh, try to prove that our marriage is a hoax you mean?"

     Brenda nodded.

     "Well I think we can be very convincing to the contrary," Jax said with an unconcerned shrug.

     "Jax, I don’t trust her."

     "Well neither do I."

     "So then you agree with me?"

     He looked at her suspiciously. "About what?"

     "That we have to do everything to give the appearance that we are passionately in love."

     "Passionately? Who said anything about passionately?. Can’t we just pretend to be plain old in love?" he asked, sounding slightly irritated as even so much as thinking about passion and Brenda in the same breath was too much like dangling the proverbial carrot in front of the rabbit, or in this case the Jax-rabbit.

     "We have to be in the same bedroom Jax," Brenda decided.

     "No," he said adamantly.

     "Jaaax! We have to! What if she gets one of the maid’s to be her inside spy to spy on us and see if we really act married or not? And what if she finds out that we don’t even sleep in the same room? Then I’m dead!"

     They stopped by the staircase continuing there conversation.

     "Brenda, none of our household help would agree to spy for her."

     "Oh, come on Jax this kind of thing happens all the time People who you least expect betray you for publicity or for money . It happens. We shouldn’t give them many ammunition against us by sleeping in separate bedrooms."

     Jax shook his head. "I cannot possibly share a bed with you."

     "Why not? I’ll sleep on the right side, I won’t hog the covers, I don’t snore . . ."

     "Brenda I’ll be lucky if I get one second of sleep with you next to me."

     "Okay I promise not to talk or ask my usual 20 questions."

     "That wasn’t what I meant."

     "Okay well then I’ll sleep on the floor in your room," she offered.

     "I would never let you sleep on the floor anywhere on this earth."

     "Then could we just try the bed thing? Please? Just try and then if it doesn’t work . ."

     "It will not work."

     "Well fine, if you’re so sure let’s just give it a shot okay? I’ll be good, Jax, I promise."

     He rolled his eyes. "You don’t even know the meaning of the word," he said.

     She laughed and kissed him on the lips.

     "This is not helping, Brenda," he said feeling aroused by the very sight of her, not to mention the thought of her in his bed later and her kiss now only exacerbated that. He was absolutely bonkers to agree to try this.

     "All right, I won’t kiss you anymore then. I promise."

     Good. That would at least help, he thought. But as he looked at her he knew that if she stopped kissing him, he still would not stop kissing her so what difference would it make?!

     "I don’t think I like that promise," he said softly.

     Brenda looked at him, captivated by his smoldering, striking blue eyes and her own surreal feeling of happiness every time he so much as looked at her that way.

     "I don’t think I could keep it anyway," she confessed as they both leaned in for the kiss they were both craving. Her lips felt the passion’s fire of his mouth as he engaged her in a kiss of slow, burning wonder. She wrapped her arms around his neck wanting to be closer. The provocative sensuality of his kiss started a fire inside of her and fueled her own aggression as, eyes closed, she let her inhibitions go, swept away by a river of amazing desire and in that moment they were both back in the waterfall cave on Jacks Isle all alone, all wet, closer than close, burning hot with desire and deep-seeded, unexplored passions. Jax felt the annoying zing of that damn thing happening to his heart again which reminded him of the whole Cupid thing and getting zapped by that dreaded love arrow and that startled him enough to pull away from her, although having done that, the desire to kiss her again came over him almost immediately.

     "And you expect me to share a bed with you?!" he whispered sounding sort of angry which for some reason made Brenda smile.

     "Jax. I know it’ll be hard or frustrating or whatever, but we can do it."

     "Only if you get a damn magnum steel chastity belt!" he said pulling her, laughing, into the ballroom with him where he felt it would be safer with other people around to quell his passionate urges towards her.

     Chad watched them with increasing rage. This marriage had about as much chance of remaining platonic as those Heven’s Gate folks had of riding off on that Halle Bop Comet. And Chad knew that he had to break up this marriage and prove it to be a fraud before it was consummated. He had to do this in order to ensure himself any possible chance at regaining possession of his young goddess who had so frustratingly slipped from his grasp in the blink of an eye.

     He could always use a little help, he decided, and he had a feeling that Amber, Iris and Avaline would all be in a very helping mood after tonight.

     As Chad watched Jax and Brenda and plotted, Niles watched Chad and felt the need to puke.

     "And what is Doctor Demento up to now?" Niles murmured unamusedly to himself . . .